Abishai100
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- Sep 22, 2013
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This is a commerce-parable inspired by the fortune-mischief film Ruthless People.
Cheers,
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A group of 'merry men' lived in the forests of California and dressed up as Robin Hood and practiced archery. These men were lively and idealistic about the natural beauty of America and the opportunity to 'escape' the reality of a federalism-dominated modern world and banks and post offices and Internet passwords. The 'Merry Men' did not carry smartphones or bring any electronic devices but rather relied on rustic living and their more 'natural' instincts to go exploring and/or hunting for deer.
One day, a giant snail visited one of the Merry Men (in his dream) while he was sleeping. The snail demanded to know why modern Americans were prancing around in the forest pretending to be Robin Hood and living like children while the rest of the world proceeded very 'normally.' The man explained that the forest was simple and beautiful, and the snail explained that only the modern city (where capitalists dream!) possesses 'forns.' The man asked what the heck a 'forn' was, and the snail explained that 'forns' were like horns but they resided inside the mind (rather than protruding from the head like horns!). When the man awoke from his dream, he concluded that the mysterious giant talking-snail had implanted 'forns' in his mind!
The man decided to leave the Merry Men and go to Los Angeles for Halloween Eve. The man dressed up as a sinister-looking Santa Claus and carried giant garden-shears which he used to decapitate three LAPD officers who were chasing him down an alley at around 10 pm! The man decided he was nothing like Robin Hood but rather a 'by-product' of civilization/evolution and therefore a 'capitalism minion' or, of course, an 'evil Santa.' Evil Santa was finally arrested and sentenced to die (in a gas-chamber). The news reporters stated, "While the mysterious and eccentric Merry Men prance around the forests of northern California, the venomous 'evil Santa' terrorizes the good capitalism-minded people of Los Angeles...on Halloween Eve!" Evil Santa became an instant 'anti-celebrity' (or spook-story).
The Merry Men never amounted to much, and Evil Santa would always be remembered simply as the 'evil Santa' who terrorized Halloween in L.A. that year. However, when another member of the Merry Men was visited by the giant talking-snail (the same one who 'seduced' Evil Santa), things got much more serious. This time, the snail told this member of the Merry Men that he needed to repent for his sins and look for ways to spread the message of the Gospels, so people would feel hopeful about the shopping-season (which coincided of course with the holiday season). When the man awoke, he resolved to be more of a 'capitalism-patriot,' and, at the very least, not repeat the dreadful foolishness of Evil Santa. The memory of Evil Santa would loom forever, however, as well as the image of his...anti-American 'forns.'
====
Cheers,
====
A group of 'merry men' lived in the forests of California and dressed up as Robin Hood and practiced archery. These men were lively and idealistic about the natural beauty of America and the opportunity to 'escape' the reality of a federalism-dominated modern world and banks and post offices and Internet passwords. The 'Merry Men' did not carry smartphones or bring any electronic devices but rather relied on rustic living and their more 'natural' instincts to go exploring and/or hunting for deer.
One day, a giant snail visited one of the Merry Men (in his dream) while he was sleeping. The snail demanded to know why modern Americans were prancing around in the forest pretending to be Robin Hood and living like children while the rest of the world proceeded very 'normally.' The man explained that the forest was simple and beautiful, and the snail explained that only the modern city (where capitalists dream!) possesses 'forns.' The man asked what the heck a 'forn' was, and the snail explained that 'forns' were like horns but they resided inside the mind (rather than protruding from the head like horns!). When the man awoke from his dream, he concluded that the mysterious giant talking-snail had implanted 'forns' in his mind!
The man decided to leave the Merry Men and go to Los Angeles for Halloween Eve. The man dressed up as a sinister-looking Santa Claus and carried giant garden-shears which he used to decapitate three LAPD officers who were chasing him down an alley at around 10 pm! The man decided he was nothing like Robin Hood but rather a 'by-product' of civilization/evolution and therefore a 'capitalism minion' or, of course, an 'evil Santa.' Evil Santa was finally arrested and sentenced to die (in a gas-chamber). The news reporters stated, "While the mysterious and eccentric Merry Men prance around the forests of northern California, the venomous 'evil Santa' terrorizes the good capitalism-minded people of Los Angeles...on Halloween Eve!" Evil Santa became an instant 'anti-celebrity' (or spook-story).
The Merry Men never amounted to much, and Evil Santa would always be remembered simply as the 'evil Santa' who terrorized Halloween in L.A. that year. However, when another member of the Merry Men was visited by the giant talking-snail (the same one who 'seduced' Evil Santa), things got much more serious. This time, the snail told this member of the Merry Men that he needed to repent for his sins and look for ways to spread the message of the Gospels, so people would feel hopeful about the shopping-season (which coincided of course with the holiday season). When the man awoke, he resolved to be more of a 'capitalism-patriot,' and, at the very least, not repeat the dreadful foolishness of Evil Santa. The memory of Evil Santa would loom forever, however, as well as the image of his...anti-American 'forns.'
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