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If single parents hurt society then punishing them more for being single doesn't seem to help make society better. Like I said, you can't force people to get married. And you can't help society by hurting the people you deem unworthy.
Dr. Robert E. Emery was published with the following "fact based by statistics statement" -
"Compared to children from homes disrupted by death, children from divorced homes have more psychological problems."
This means that studies now show that the DEATH of a Parent is LESS Devastating to a Child than Divorce.
I've never heard someone take the stance "stop trying to fix" anything. Now fixing is a bad thing...only for police tho
It's a societal problem. Trying to address this via the police is closing the door to barn after the horse is out.
It's a family issue. Not colour, not police.....
To get out of this hole we need a good 20 years of hardcore promoting marriage, families, and religion. Stop the eugenics movement In the ghettos today and stop giving more welfare to broken homes. We should e giving less to those homes and more to married families.
The police actions arent a societal problem...its a police problem. But again, stop trying to fix doesnt seem to be a good talking point
Police actions are an effect. Not a cause. You need to fix the cause of you want to change the effect.
Oh now you're say this.
People leaving their marriages, or not marrying, is an effect. You need to fix the causes if you want to change the effect.
Yes fhere needs to be a bigger emphasis on family values.
Rather than broken homes and eugenics.
Divorce is divorce and it happens but the point is if it can't continue then you look for a better match. Besides divorce is an effect the cause being poor modeling by their parents. So fix the parental model. Like I have suggested in every post so far.
Why are poor people more likely to separate?
I have found that people's expectations of marriage are completely out of whack with reality.
I once had a conversation with some girl from Nebraska, it was when Brad Pitt and Jennifer Annison were getting married. I said that it didn't matter when they were getting married, but when they'd get divorced.
Cue the Nebraska girl coming out with a rant about how you got married and stayed happy for the rest of your lives.
Then who got divorced?
The 50's view of marriage has caused so many problems, also people don't know what to expect for their partners before they get married. How to keep the relationship together etc.
Some of the most important skills in our lives and we're never, ever taught then, asked to think about them, schools simply ignore these issues as not being worthwhile, or that people should struggle through life and try and figure it out on their own because no one should ever tell them.
Same with many other skills, like child rearing.
However it really is so important for society to think about these things.
I was gonna bold and answer by point but that last bit is almost the same thing.
1. Welfare is set up in a way to provide more money for single parent homes. Since poor people are on welfare there is an increase to single parent homes.
I Would love to see more welfare money given to married families and less to single parent homes.
2. Ok on the "50's view of marriage" and on how people don't know what to expect or look for in a husband or wife.
This is learned by modeling your parents. Ofc people don't think you need two parents if trey grew up I. A single parent home. They don't know anything else, so they don't see or understand the benefit to children.
As for the government or society teaching us how to pick a husband or a wife ..... Sorry but that's chosen through family expierence and values. The government has no business in that area, it's bad enough the crap they teach in public schools now. Child rearing is learned from your family.
Poor people have had eugenics pushed on them so their families are smaller and people are allowed to act irresponsibly.
Had they had their children and was dependent on having a family to raise that child then better life choices would have been made.
I don't necessarily see the correlation in what you wrote between welfare and single parent families. I think you're right, the ability for the woman to leave an abusive husband, or a husband to leave an abusive wife, or many other such situations where people find it easier to walk out on their spouse is helped by having welfare there.
Is this a positive or a negative thing? I'd say it's positive. Too many people over the course of history have had to endure abusive relationships.
Things don't suddenly become good for the kids because you're forcing their parents to stick together. Guys who fuck around will fuck around and be absent from their kids' lives. You're not helping the situation here, you're merely washing over the cracks.
You want husbands and fathers to be good husbands and good fathers. Some never will be. Some you can change by educating them BEFORE they become husbands and fathers so they're going to be better at both.
Until you change these things, you're not having much of a positive impact on society at all. Just condemning many women to a hard life with less money and being told how bad they are for having an abusive husband.
As for people picking and choosing a wife or husband, you think it's chosen through family experience and values. Oh great, well as the US progresses towards the future, less people have a positive family experience and less values, so less people have a good basis on which to base their decision and therefore we're headed towards a situation where no one has these over time.
It's all about decision making though. And decision making is the most important skill that needs to be learned in schools. Looking at relationships, asking kids those tough questions so they can hear what other kids have to say on the matter, have to be able to vocalize their thoughts on the matter, so that when they come fact to fact with the matter in hand, they're better prepared to make those decisions.
To simply say it should be based on a person's experience, when they hardly have any experience to go from, is ridiculous.
If I took my family, my father got my mother pregnant and then they married. That's the only reason they married. Yes they learned to cooperate, but part of their cooperation was learned from ME. I went off to live in another country, came back and spoke about how the men do absolutely nothing and the women have to do everything and my mother went and made my dad do stuff, even though she's the strong one in the relationship.
I didn't learn from my parents, I learned from my own mistakes, from luck, from criticizing other people who were fucking up their own relationships.
I lived with some girl who got married to some absolute moron who had been married before, had a kid, had left the army all by the age of 24, and was marrying some girl who he couldn't communicate well with, and if I had kept in contact with them, I'd bet they had divorced a long time ago.
Welfare undermines marriage:
How Welfare Undermines Marriage and What to Do About It
Fatherless homes:
Growing up without a father can permanently alter the BRAIN
http://downloads.frc.org/EF/EF14K18.pdf
You make it out that a bad father is worse than no father at all..... That is only a legitimate option if the father is abusing the children. In that case the mother should leave and find a new husband who can step in and help raise the children. Outside of a criminal .... Even a bad father is better than no father at all.
Choosing a husband/wife
On the point about poor decisions on mates these days based off of learned expierence and broken homes . This we agree about and this is also why I have always felt this is a bigger deal than has been promoted. Single parent homes, anti religion push, and the feminist movement have all contributed to this issue.
On modeling your parents/family when it comes to relationships or choosing a husband/wife:
Why Your Partner May Be Like Your Parent
How our fathers influence the partners we choose
Tried to post snippets from these articles but it won't allow me.
As for your expierence I wonder why you have spent a lifetime with your parents and haven't learned from them?
Positive or negative is irrelevant because either way you will learn and it will affect how you choose your mate.
There's been a massive increase in freedom over this period of time too.
There were problems before, and there are problems now, just that the problems have changed.
Also you're picking a few statistics and trying to make a claim about this. 75% of people in Chemical Abuse Centers are from fatherless homes. Maybe the fathers are also abusing chemicals, maybe there's something in the genes which means they're more likely to this. No one helped the fathers much, and there's not much help for the kids either, and they'll go off and produce children too.
Trying to force marriage upon them doesn't make them less likely to abuse chemicals, does it?
The world has changed. Often people leaving marriages is a reaction to something, it's not the main problem. If you don't deal with the main problems then you're not going to solve the problems at all.
You're just looking in the past and seeing there was less drug abuse in the past. Yeah, people didn't have much money in the 1800s either to spend on drugs, or enough recreation time to do drugs. You want to go back to that time? Fine, go live in a country that's poor.
Did you click on the links or just watch the 2 minute video? There is plenty of information there not just picking a stat here of there.
You can't make people marry. Those days are done. You can encourage it but that's all....so it's easy to blame something that can't be enforced, changed, altered etc. It's harder to present a solution that makes more people get married. Those days are done.
It's a societal problem. Trying to address this via the police is closing the door to barn after the horse is out.
It's a family issue. Not colour, not police.....
To get out of this hole we need a good 20 years of hardcore promoting marriage, families, and religion. Stop the eugenics movement In the ghettos today and stop giving more welfare to broken homes. We should e giving less to those homes and more to married families.
The police actions arent a societal problem...its a police problem. But again, stop trying to fix doesnt seem to be a good talking point
Police actions are an effect. Not a cause. You need to fix the cause of you want to change the effect.
Oh now you're say this.
People leaving their marriages, or not marrying, is an effect. You need to fix the causes if you want to change the effect.
Yes fhere needs to be a bigger emphasis on family values.
Rather than broken homes and eugenics.
Divorce is divorce and it happens but the point is if it can't continue then you look for a better match. Besides divorce is an effect the cause being poor modeling by their parents. So fix the parental model. Like I have suggested in every post so far.
And how do you emphasis family values? Do you teach kids at school, or just demand that people figure it out for themselves? The latter being the current option.
You can't make people marry. Those days are done. You can encourage it but that's all....so it's easy to blame something that can't be enforced, changed, altered etc. It's harder to present a solution that makes more people get married. Those days are done.
I know a guy whose parents never got married. They stayed together for the rest of their lives.
Marriage isn't important. A strong and healthy relationship is. The two are not connected. Sometimes married people will also have a strong and healthy relationship, but not because they're married.
the percentage of people smoking cigarettes is higher in 'poorer' neighborhoods than in wealthier neighborhoods. The more money you earn, the less likelihood that you will smoke cigarettes and the more you are under a certain economic level, the more likely you will smoke cigarettes.
Why do poor people smoke more? Opinion: Why do poor people smoke more? - CNN.com
The police actions arent a societal problem...its a police problem. But again, stop trying to fix doesnt seem to be a good talking point
Police actions are an effect. Not a cause. You need to fix the cause of you want to change the effect.
Oh now you're say this.
People leaving their marriages, or not marrying, is an effect. You need to fix the causes if you want to change the effect.
Yes fhere needs to be a bigger emphasis on family values.
Rather than broken homes and eugenics.
Divorce is divorce and it happens but the point is if it can't continue then you look for a better match. Besides divorce is an effect the cause being poor modeling by their parents. So fix the parental model. Like I have suggested in every post so far.
And how do you emphasis family values? Do you teach kids at school, or just demand that people figure it out for themselves? The latter being the current option.
Well we can stop promoting broken families on television and schools for starters.
When is the last time you have seen a Cosby show type family on TV? Unless it stars Tim Allen you don't see it at all.
You can't make people marry. Those days are done. You can encourage it but that's all....so it's easy to blame something that can't be enforced, changed, altered etc. It's harder to present a solution that makes more people get married. Those days are done.
I know a guy whose parents never got married. They stayed together for the rest of their lives.
Marriage isn't important. A strong and healthy relationship is. The two are not connected. Sometimes married people will also have a strong and healthy relationship, but not because they're married.
Yeah I'm sure we all know "a guy" whose life wasn't a total disaster because he had a broken home.
I know plenty of guys and girls who had terrible lives because they didn't have a mother and father in the home. The stats back it up that this happens much more often than the example you provided.
Family values in this country have taken a massive hit over the years and all we have to blame is ourselves for allowing it to be acceptable to have broken homes. Sorry but if a parent allows their children to grow up in a broken home then they failed. Children need a mother and father everyday. Even if it's a step mother or step father. They need them there everyday.
Police actions are an effect. Not a cause. You need to fix the cause of you want to change the effect.
Oh now you're say this.
People leaving their marriages, or not marrying, is an effect. You need to fix the causes if you want to change the effect.
Yes fhere needs to be a bigger emphasis on family values.
Rather than broken homes and eugenics.
Divorce is divorce and it happens but the point is if it can't continue then you look for a better match. Besides divorce is an effect the cause being poor modeling by their parents. So fix the parental model. Like I have suggested in every post so far.
And how do you emphasis family values? Do you teach kids at school, or just demand that people figure it out for themselves? The latter being the current option.
Well we can stop promoting broken families on television and schools for starters.
When is the last time you have seen a Cosby show type family on TV? Unless it stars Tim Allen you don't see it at all.
You want to hide reality?
If you don't want broken families on TV then you're going to have to try harder to stop families being broken.
I don't watch TV, so asking me when the last time I saw one was, is pretty pointless. However you have programs like the Fresh Prince which are, for many black people, a complete and utter joke. Oh, you're from the ghetto, but hey, why not go move with your rich uncle who lives in a rather large house. Piss off. Who has a rich uncle like that? Let alone those living in ghettos.
This is how we fix the inner-city.
My solution to fix the inner city violent crime rate(Chicago, etc)
-Increase funding to schools
-Give all boys female hormones
-Teach them to play with dolls
-Let them be transgender(wear dresses, long hair, etc)
-Let them take care of babies
= the crime and murder rate going down 95%. Seems like a good solution as being macho ends up getting people killed by the thousands every year. Why not do the opposite?
Migrant kids outperform local kids
Here could be a way to fix the ghettos. Migrate the kids from the inner cities into other places within the U.S.
You'd have to move the entire family and not just the kids. That is, of course, if someone truly wants to 'help' the ghetto.
You'd have to move the entire family and not just the kids. That is, of course, if someone truly wants to 'help' the ghetto.
Those in the ghetto have to prove they want to help themselves. When they riot, loot, and burn down buildings because they're mad, that last ones that should complain about lack of things in the ghetto are the ones rioting, looting, and burning down things.
No business in the right business mind is going to go into a ghetto and take the chance on whether or not the people there might get mad about something and destroy a business that had nothing to do with why they're mad. Those doing the rioting, etc. go after things totally unrelated to why they're rioting. If they have a problem with the police, although don't take this as advocating it, why don't they try to riot, loot, and burn down the police stations?
