Would-Be President Rambles Unintelligibly For Eighty Minutes After Promising He Would Speak About The Economy

[Procrustes Stretched]

Stumbled upon a great headline in today's news: "The Wonderful Trump Headline Machine"

The article itself had a few Yugely great lines. One in particular caught my eye. I used it as the title for this thread. Oh the satire, the satire!

Would-Be President Rambles Unintelligibly For Eighty Minutes After Promising He Would Speak About The Economy
The Article: snippets:
I found it! The machine! The wonderful machine that they have at all news production headquarters. Its input is Donald Trump’s remarks; its output is headlines. Everything makes sense now.

It functions somewhat like a juicer. You insert Trump’s remarks at one end, turn a crank...Presto! — out comes the headline or chyron produced by those remarks. I had long been wondering where we were getting these headlines and chyrons. You glance up idly at a muted television and see “DONALD TRUMP DELIVERS REMARKS ON ECONOMY,” and you think, “Ah, presidential at last!” And as long as you do not...

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A similar process occurs in print. If it were not for the machine, we would have headlines every day like “Would-Be President Rambles Unintelligibly For Eighty Minutes After Promising He Would Speak About The Economy; At Intervals We Glimpsed Something In The Torrent Of Words That If Pulled Out And Dried Off Might Become A Policy Idea, So We Sent Several Guys In After It, But None Of Them Returned Alive, Except For One Guy Who Just Said ‘The Horror, The Horror’ After We Retrieved Him And He’s Now Staring Off Silently Into The Void. Is Donald Trump Entirely Well? Harris Also Delivered Remarks But Not As Many As We Wanted.” Maybe we should have those headlines, but, thanks to the machine, we don’t.

​

 

[Procrustes Stretched]

cuckoo

wtf?
"She would not have been the chosen one." wtf?
.


Boy do the people on stage with him look extremely uncomfortable



I wonder how the women and men who support Trump, and claim to care about sexual assault feel (pun?), when watching this.

 

[Donald H]

Trump will win and democracy will be declared to have been restored and saved.

I think the only possibility that could change fate in America is the military taking down the attempt at fascism.

This would necessitate summary executions of dozens of politicians.

For now and until after the election, we need to leave it unmentioned on which party's politician must die. In any case, the losing party's politicians will nearly all become politicians of the winning side. Few will stay commited to their convictions when threatened with death by piano wire.

 

[Rambunctious]

He will make America rich again... he ill make America strong again... he will make America safe again and he will make America great again....

 

[mamooth]

wtf?
"She would not have been the chosen one." wtf?

So Donald is admitting there were others who were the chosen ones for Trump's serial sexual assaulting.

The Trump cultists here are all fine with that. If anything, it makes them love DearLeader more.

In the eyes of the Trump cult, every white man doesn't merely have the RIGHT to molest any human or animal of any age or gender.

Instead, as the Trump cult sees it, every white man has the DUTY to molest all lesser beings, to keep them subjugated.

That's why the Trump cultists consider me to be a race-traitor, because I'm a white man who isn't a sexual predator.