8 More Historical Events Tim Walz Has Claimed To Be At

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8 More Historical Events Tim Walz Has Claimed To Be At
Politics·Oct 2, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

By now you've heard that Tim Walz literally stood in front of a tank in Tiananmen Square, but that's not the only iconic moment the governor has been present for! Here are eight other historical events Walz has claimed to be at:

1. Landing on the moon with the crew of Apollo 11: One small step for Tim, one giant leap for Tim-kind
2. Raising the flag on Iwo Jima: Walz singlehandedly held off three thousand Japanese troops (while wounded!) just to plant Old Glory

3. Marching in Selma with Joe Biden: It was there he first met Kamala, still in her stroller shouting, "Fweedom!"
4. The fall of Troy: In fact, it was none other than Tim Walz who shot the arrow that pierced Achilles' heel.
5. Aboard United Flight 93 on September 11th: Walz bravely stormed the cockpit, sacrificing his life for others. Hero.
6. The Last Supper: According to Walz, he suspected Judas the whole time.
7. When the One Ring was cast into the fires of Mount Doom: Tim can't carry it for you, but he can carry you!
8. The burning of Minneapolis in 2020: Okay, this one checks out.
9. The Russian Revolution of 1917 and the Catro revolution in Cuba. Yea, we actually believe those stories. Tim sure likes Communist countries..
Wow, what an incredible life! Truly, no one can compare to the storied journey of one Timothy J. Walz.

 

[TroglocratsRdumb]

 

[1srelluc]

He's a regular Brian Williams.

 

[marvin martian]