A conversation with my daughter

[Mac1958]

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One of my kids is a sophomore in high school and a great kid. She currently has a 4.5 grade point average (remember when 4 was the highest? Weird), she's a member of the National Honor Society, she's on the varsity softball team and the choir. She's also one heck of an amateur photographer. Words can't express how proud we are of her.

We were talking yesterday about how some "friends of a friend" were giving her crap at school about her achievements. Her circle of friends are much like her, but there are some others she knows who are more into video games and laying on the couch for extended periods of time. That's the group I'm talking about.

Anyway, what those friends were saying reminded me of much of what I see on this board.

While they're busy complaining about people like my kid, how she somehow doesn't deserve her success, she's going in to school early and/or staying late to get help from her teachers; she's diligently doing her homework six nights a week; she and I are going to the park in 30 degree weather to work on her fielding; she can be heard singing her choir parts in her room. Her mom & I hope that she's not overdoing it, but she's a happy kid and she still manages quite a bit of goof-off time.

She doesn't know much about video games and won't be seen on the couch for more than about five minutes, she gets bored. Whenever she talks about someone doing better than her, she takes it as a challenge rather than complaining or calling them names.

My advice to her yesterday: "You'll find that 20% of the people end up doing 80% of the work while the others are sitting around complaining. They're always an excuse for them, they always want to point the finger. Just keep doing what you're doing, stay focused, do what you love, and forget about them."

Her response, "Yeah, I know. They create their own drama and then look for someone else to blame for it."

Yep. Great kid.

.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

Your in for some rude awakening when she starts college.
Like your daughter, both my kids did well in high school, played sports etc.
With our income, we did not qualify for any financial aid (nor did I expect or want it)
Here is the rude part - I suspect like my wife and I, your income is decent, you worked hard for what you have and as a parent did all the right things.
Wait till you see these lazy couch potatoes get free rides in the SAME SCHOOL as your daughter - complete with room and board.
Your child will have to work to help you offset some cost, mine did...which makes her college life much harder - meanwhile the lazy kids won't need jobs because everything is paid for - so in fact - they will have an advantage over your daughter.
Once again - those who do the right thing get screwed.

 

[Mac1958]

Your in for some rude awakening when she starts college.
Like your daughter, both my kids did well in high school, played sports etc.
With our income, we did not qualify for any financial aid (nor did I expect or want it)
Here is the rude part - I suspect like my wife and I, your income is decent, you worked hard for what you have and as a parent did all the right things.
Wait till you see these lazy couch potatoes get free rides in the SAME SCHOOL as your daughter - complete with room and board.
Your child will have to work to help you offset some cost, mine did...which makes her college life much harder - meanwhile the lazy kids won't need jobs because everything is paid for - so in fact - they will have an advantage over your daughter.
Once again - those who do the right thing get screwed.

I understand the dangers coming up, but I'm confident that she's on the right path. I just don't see her changing course that completely and becoming a self-described "victim". Along with everything else, she has a dignity and self-respect that won't let that happen. She appears to see how people can wreck their own lives.

Plus, she'll always have her ol' Dad pokin' at her from the sidelines!



.

 

[mudwhistle]

Your in for some rude awakening when she starts college.
Like your daughter, both my kids did well in high school, played sports etc.
With our income, we did not qualify for any financial aid (nor did I expect or want it)
Here is the rude part - I suspect like my wife and I, your income is decent, you worked hard for what you have and as a parent did all the right things.
Wait till you see these lazy couch potatoes get free rides in the SAME SCHOOL as your daughter - complete with room and board.
Your child will have to work to help you offset some cost, mine did...which makes her college life much harder - meanwhile the lazy kids won't need jobs because everything is paid for - so in fact - they will have an advantage over your daughter.
Once again - those who do the right thing get screwed.

I understand the dangers coming up, but I'm confident that she's on the right path. I just don't see her changing course that completely and becoming a self-described "victim". Along with everything else, she has a dignity and self-respect that won't let that happen. She appears to see how people can wreck their own lives.

Plus, she'll always have her ol' Dad pokin' at her from the sidelines!



.

I see her becoming one of the hated 1%ers.

 

[editec]

Character is destiny​

 

[NoNukes]

.

One of my kids is a sophomore in high school and a great kid. She currently has a 4.5 grade point average (remember when 4 was the highest? Weird), she's a member of the National Honor Society, she's on the varsity softball team and the choir. She's also one heck of an amateur photographer. Words can't express how proud we are of her.

We were talking yesterday about how some "friends of a friend" were giving her crap at school about her achievements. Her circle of friends are much like her, but there are some others she knows who are more into video games and laying on the couch for extended periods of time. That's the group I'm talking about.

Anyway, what those friends were saying reminded me of much of what I see on this board.

While they're busy complaining about people like my kid, how she somehow doesn't deserve her success, she's going in to school early and/or staying late to get help from her teachers; she's diligently doing her homework six nights a week; she and I are going to the park in 30 degree weather to work on her fielding; she can be heard singing her choir parts in her room. Her mom & I hope that she's not overdoing it, but she's a happy kid and she still manages quite a bit of goof-off time.

She doesn't know much about video games and won't be seen on the couch for more than about five minutes, she gets bored. Whenever she talks about someone doing better than her, she takes it as a challenge rather than complaining or calling them names.

My advice to her yesterday: "You'll find that 20% of the people end up doing 80% of the work while the others are sitting around complaining. They're always an excuse for them, they always want to point the finger. Just keep doing what you're doing, stay focused, do what you love, and forget about them."

Her response, "Yeah, I know. They create their own drama and then look for someone else to blame for it."

Yep. Great kid.

.

She sounds like a great kid, and your advice was excellent. My daughter was having problems similar to this and did not want to do extra curriculars like debating, because the kids would give her a hard time. We put her into a new, private school in January where the kids are more focused. Her first day of school, her new buddies encouraged her to join the debating team. She is very happy, her life has changed completely. Good luck to your daughter, she will be a success.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

Your in for some rude awakening when she starts college.
Like your daughter, both my kids did well in high school, played sports etc.
With our income, we did not qualify for any financial aid (nor did I expect or want it)
Here is the rude part - I suspect like my wife and I, your income is decent, you worked hard for what you have and as a parent did all the right things.
Wait till you see these lazy couch potatoes get free rides in the SAME SCHOOL as your daughter - complete with room and board.
Your child will have to work to help you offset some cost, mine did...which makes her college life much harder - meanwhile the lazy kids won't need jobs because everything is paid for - so in fact - they will have an advantage over your daughter.
Once again - those who do the right thing get screwed.

I understand the dangers coming up, but I'm confident that she's on the right path. I just don't see her changing course that completely and becoming a self-described "victim". Along with everything else, she has a dignity and self-respect that won't let that happen. She appears to see how people can wreck their own lives.

Plus, she'll always have her ol' Dad pokin' at her from the sidelines!



.

I see her becoming one of the hated 1%ers.

Yep.
My daughter works Fri, Sat and Sun as a waitress to pay her rent.
She gets along with only two other waitresses who also attend school.
ALL of the others do not like them, and openly say so.They say things like "oh your so precious aren't you?"...your special...etc. All because of course they know she will leave and go to a job making 5 times what they make. And they hate her for it.

 

[Iceweasel]

It sounds like you've done well with your daughter and she is getting a real life lesson, which will also serve her well as she distances herself from the slackers. If she's smart, and it sounds like she is, she'll know who to associate with and who to avoid.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

Your in for some rude awakening when she starts college.
Like your daughter, both my kids did well in high school, played sports etc.
With our income, we did not qualify for any financial aid (nor did I expect or want it)
Here is the rude part - I suspect like my wife and I, your income is decent, you worked hard for what you have and as a parent did all the right things.
Wait till you see these lazy couch potatoes get free rides in the SAME SCHOOL as your daughter - complete with room and board.
Your child will have to work to help you offset some cost, mine did...which makes her college life much harder - meanwhile the lazy kids won't need jobs because everything is paid for - so in fact - they will have an advantage over your daughter.
Once again - those who do the right thing get screwed.

Can you be a little more specific...who are these lazy couch potatoes getting free rides through college?