Another way to beat the heat!

[taichiliberal]

In the last week New York City and its Long Island suburb experienced a bit of the oppressive heat wave that has plagued much of the Midwestern and southern states for several weeks this summer.



New Yorkers tend to over react when it comes to adverse weather….especially the local media. You’d think we were in the End of Days the way our news would flash “heat index” warnings, spots on how to stay cool, stay hydrated, dress in light, loose clothing, don’t over exert (exercise) yourself, don’t drink too much alcohol, etc., etc. If I were an alien visiting Earth and watching TV, I’d think that all New Yorkers are a bunch of dumb bunnies incapable of following the most basic instinct and common sense when it comes to staying cool in hot weather.



But what little tidbit that went unnoticed by the media was that this summer no woman has yet to take advantage of a little legal statute that allows women to go topless in oppressive heat waves like this….so long as they do not act “in a lewd and/or lascivious manner”. Last year, you actually had one woman take advantage of this….she was momentarily detained by the cops, who got her to put her shirt back on and let her off with a warning, as she was in danger of causing a disturbance.



Now a man going shirtless during a heat wave is no big deal. In fact, you’ll have the occasional man regardless of race, creed, religion, size or fitness level walking the streets of the five boroughs and the suburbs. Nothing disturbs me more than seeing some sweaty, morbidly obese guy come wobbling into any space I inhabit during the work week…but this seems to be a long accepted “tradition”. And let’s face it, with America’s near psychotic attitudes about sex and the female breast, any woman who goes topless runs the risk of being mauled to death by a bunch of horny guys, with innocent bystanders being hurt in the ensuing stampede. So I had an idea to solve this dilemma…..why not pass a law that allows women who want to go topless to carry guns?



Yep, you read it right…I figure if the NRA has been pushing for YEARS to expand carrying “concealed weapons” laws in New York, here’s a perfect opportunity to do so! Think about it….one major reason for issuing a CWP (concealed weapons permit) is for a person whose job requires them to carry valuables, to protect themselves. And since Americans put an ENORMOUS amount of value on the female breast (regardless of race, creed, color, size, natural or enhanced status), it would be logical to give guns to those who are carrying their valuables in plain sight. Mind you, the gun would have to be concealed, so that might require certain pants and skirts to be required. All in all, a small price to pay for the sanctity of our private citizen’s and America’s most valued assets to be cool and composed during our summer months. We’re talking new sales for one of our most popular industries, and a potential lowering of crime across the New York area!



So write your state senator or your local councilman, people!



.