Ask Joe (a new advice column just for USMB members)

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe.

Do you ever take a vacation? I mean, damn you have helped so many people with you sage advice......

Don't your head hurt?

Regards

Pop in popland.

Believe it or not, giving advice and fixing problems is what I do all day in RL and this week, I'm on vacation!

So... yes. I do get to take vacation - 21st Century life in middle-class America ROCKS!!

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe:
Who moderates the forum now that you've hung your hat here?
Yours truly,

Kosher

Coyote, theDoctorisIn, AnglesNDemons, westwall, flacaltenn, AquaAthena, cereal_killer, Trajan and every member who understands the 'report post' function.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe:

Are things really more like they are now than they ever were before? Or is it all staged in New Mexico?

I believe that the staging has been off-shored to Indonesia, but you get the gist of it.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Joe - I have an ingrown toenail. What do I do?

Get a pedicure, strip down to your flip-flops, and go to the beach.

 

[DriftingSand]

Joe - I have an ingrown toenail. What do I do?

Get a pedicure, strip down to your flip-flops, and go to the beach.

Thanks Joe. On my way.

 

[Vandalshandle]

Joe,

If I have 12 apples, and give 4 to Esmeralda, 3 to Stat, and 2 to Derido, how long would it be before the usual suspects on this thread would call me a commie/socialist/Marxist/progressive/libtard?

 

[Amelia]

Joe - I have an ingrown toenail. What do I do?

Get a pedicure, strip down to your flip-flops, and go to the beach.

Thanks Joe. On my way.

Dear Joe, what should the people at the QuickTrip do when DriftingSand makes a pit stop for munchies and sunscreen?

 

[Bloodrock44]

Dear Joe: Should I contact my physician or just be happy if Viagra causes me to have an erection lasting over 4 hours? Not that I've ever used it.

 

[Vandalshandle]

Dear Joe: Should I contact my physician or just be happy if Viagra causes me to have an erection lasting over 4 hours? Not that I've ever used it.

Call, my physician, hell! If I had an erection that lasted over 4 hours, I would call everybody I know!!!!!!!!!

 

[Pogo]

Dear Joe:

If one of your next answers is "Purple - because aliens don't wear hats!", which question will it have been the answer to?

And a corollary if I may -- where do you stand on the use of the pluperfect subjunctive?

 

[AVG-JOE]

Joe - I have an ingrown toenail. What do I do?

Get a pedicure, strip down to your flip-flops, and go to the beach.

Thanks Joe. On my way.

I hope that you're on your way to a beach that allows you to dress in flip-flops only.

For a fairly enlightened people, Americans can be violently prudish.​

 

[AVG-JOE]

Joe,

If I have 12 apples, and give 4 to Esmeralda, 3 to Stat, and 2 to Derido, how long would it be before the usual suspects on this thread would call me a commie/socialist/Marxist/progressive/libtard?

7.3 seconds if you post a video in the thread. If not, they'll spend 120 seconds more searching for a corroborating link on Faux News so they can truly 'nail your ass'.

 

[DriftingSand]

Joe - I have an ingrown toenail. What do I do?

Get a pedicure, strip down to your flip-flops, and go to the beach.

Thanks Joe. On my way.

"Pictures or it didn't happen"

Thanks. I feel much better after my pedicure.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Get a pedicure, strip down to your flip-flops, and go to the beach.

Thanks Joe. On my way.

Dear Joe, what should the people at the QuickTrip do when DriftingSand makes a pit stop for munchies and sunscreen?

Look or don't look - everyone has the choice.

Besides... if DriftingSand is smart, the stripping down to flip-flops will occur after the appropriate signs at the nude beach. Americans may well be violently prudish, but we know how to line up and follow posted rules

 

[IlarMeilyr]

Joe:

What if?

Sleepless in Schenectady

 

[Statistikhengst]

Dear Joe,

if you could travel back in time for just one day and meet with a famous historic personality, but in a way that would not affect the timeline, with whom would you meet?

 

[DriftingSand]

Get a pedicure, strip down to your flip-flops, and go to the beach.

Thanks Joe. On my way.

I hope that you're on your way to a beach that allows you to dress in flip-flops only.

For a fairly enlightened people, Americans can be violently prudish.​

Used to go to one near Santa Cruz in my more liberal days. Yes ... I used to be an earring-wearing liberal with long hair. Hahahaha

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe: Should I contact my physician or just be happy if Viagra causes me to have an erection lasting over 4 hours? Not that I've ever used it.

I couldn't tell you... also having never been under the influence of that particular line of chemicals.

Is your physician hot and/or easy? 4 hours is usually more than enough for me... the information that they never give you in the advertisements is how much more than 4 hours a fellow is likely to be able to hang in there.

 

[Statistikhengst]

Thanks Joe. On my way.

I hope that you're on your way to a beach that allows you to dress in flip-flops only.

For a fairly enlightened people, Americans can be violently prudish.​

Used to go to one near Santa Cruz in my more liberal days. Yes ... I used to be an earring-wearing liberal with long hair. Hahahaha

Tmi, TMI!!!

 

[AVG-JOE]

Get a pedicure, strip down to your flip-flops, and go to the beach.

Thanks Joe. On my way.

"Pictures or it didn't happen"

Thanks. I feel much better after my pedicure.

I see Mushrooms!