Coming soon: talking dog device

[Statistikhengst]

Talking Dog Device Ready to Hit Market Soon - Yahoo

The operating system relies on sensors in the headset which detect electric signals in the dog's brainwaves. Technology from an in-built processing device then analyses the signal patterns and deciphers them into distinct feelings like anger, curiosity or tiredness.

Sample sentences such as “I’m hungry – but I don’t like this!” or "I'm curious who that is?" will be programmed into the device and emitted through a loudspeaker.
English translations will be available, but Putonghua, French and Spanish language headsets will come later, the researchers say.

How exactly scientists will attach the sensors into a dog's brain has yet to be ironed out. Issues like this, as well as the ethical and social concerns, are the reason why there’s a whole lot more research to be done before the technology becomes available.

 

[Statistikhengst]

Let the talking dog jokes commence...

 

[Zander]

Sounds pretty cool. Until you find out your dog is a smart ass.....

A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.

"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??"

"Because the dog's a damn liar. He never did any of that shit."

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

It would be pretty neat to know what you're dog was thinking! I wonder if they will adapt this for other animals? Very interesting.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

Let the talking dog jokes commence...

Mr. Ed just said, dog gone....

( Mr. Ed was the talking horse for you youngsters! )

 

[iamwhatiseem]

We need a device to tell us when a dog is hungry or curious or doesn't like something???
Really?
What a crackpot worthless thing this is...and like the dog is going to wear that thing and not tear it off and chew it into 1.000 pcs in about 10 minutes.

 

[Mad_Cabbie]

We need a device to tell us when a dog is hungry or curious or doesn't like something???
Really?
What a crackpot worthless thing this is...and like the dog is going to wear that thing and not tear it off and chew it into 1.000 pcs in about 10 minutes.

Worthless? Are you kidding, if this thing takes off it will be worth billions.

I wish I had come up with it.

 

[Statistikhengst]

We need a device to tell us when a dog is hungry or curious or doesn't like something???
Really?
What a crackpot worthless thing this is...and like the dog is going to wear that thing and not tear it off and chew it into 1.000 pcs in about 10 minutes.

Perhaps, but it is ultimately cool when we consider that good old american innovation and curiousity brings us to the point of such cool inventions. And who knows where this may lead. We may be looking at the great grandfather of the intergalactic translator of 2400, for all we know...

 

[Mad_Cabbie]

It would be pretty neat to know what you're dog was thinking! I wonder if they will adapt this for other animals? Very interesting.

I wonder if I could hook it up to my gf when she's giving me the silent treatment?


"Fuck off asshole - I'm sleeping with your brother!!!!"


Maybe not....

 

[Iceweasel]

The good news is that the research grant has only cost taxpayers 700 billion so far, the bad news is that people will be disappointed to learn their dog only says stuff like:
I'm starving.
I gotta pee/shit/sniff around.
I'm bored.
I humped your slippers last night.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

The good news is that the research grant has only cost taxpayers 700 billion so far, the bad news is that people will be disappointed to learn their dog only says stuff like:
I'm starving.
I gotta pee/shit/sniff around.
I'm bored.
I humped your slippers last night.

Post of the day right here...

 

[HenryBHough]

Anybody remember the joke in which the punchline was:

"Sheep LIE!!!"

 

[jknowgood]

Well i guess obama's poor ole dog is doomed. I'm sure if he could talk he would say, americans are a bunch of idiots for electing this dumbass for president.

 

[Mr. H.]

Dogs are the ones that could use a translator...

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxG4noblR6g]The Simpsons dog bla bla bla - YouTube[/ame]

 

[Moonglow]

Fruck woo affhole...

 

[Zoom-boing]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy-CBs0XNlM]Up - Film Clip "Meet Dug" - YouTube[/ame]