Dear Liberals: I Want a Divorce!

[kwc57]

1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass apportioned according to numerical representation. You can have california, oregon, and washington state. We'll take all the rest.

wow look at all that liberal property that can be seized back east! It's like indian territory all over again

2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

whatever that means, conservative regressive taxation will have the poor tearing down the statehouses in a year, better have lots of thugs and prisons to keep the rabble in line.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the aclu.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the nra, and the military.

i see youv'e thought of the problem of #2 already, ok moving along.

5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with all the wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

you'll take them as your masters and like it since they have all the cops and soldiers

6. You can keep oprah, michael moore, and rosie o'donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
meh
7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, wal-mart, and wall street.
yes, i suppose the fossil fuel kings can't have all the power.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, illegal aliens, unions, peaceniks, war protesters, and the osw groups.

numerically then liberals and everyone conservatives hate deserve every state with a coastline.

9. We'll keep the hot alaskan hockey moms, greedy ceo's and rednecks.

of course you will, you need police thugs, stupid women to marry them and baby thugs for the future to protect the ceos and serve their every whim

10. We'll keep the bibles and give you nbc and hollywood

can you get a news report or action flick on a bible?

11. You can make nice with iran and palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us or hit back when we are threatened or attacked.

oh goody we share a continent with a corporate military dicatorship that does not believe in diplomacy

14. You are welcome to islam, scientology, humanism, political correctness, and shirley mclain. You can also have the u.n., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

ok now whoever wrote this is running out ideas.

13. We'll keep our judeo-christian values.

threw those in garbage the day the gop allowed the christian right to control their social agenda

14. We'll keep the suv's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every chevy volt you can find.

your oil baron overlords will have you all driving minibikes when they jack up prices every quarter

15. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any doctors to deliver it. We'll continue to believe that healthcare is more affordable and more excellent in a free market system.

doctors usually end up moving out of third world practices where all their patients are poor.

16. We'll keep "the battle hymn of the republic", "god bless america", and "the national anthem."

now what would the new confederate states want with a yankee song?

17. You get "imagine", "i'd like to teach the world to sing", "kum ba ya," or "we are the world".
fine but you know we get rock-and-roll, suckers.

18. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

well, of course the corprocracy is not going to allow themselves to be taxed, no one thought otherwise.

19. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.

doesn't belong to you and quitters are not worthy of them.

please sign and pass it on if you will agree to this equitable distribution of property, values, and practices.

In the spirit of friendly parting, we will arrange for a community picnic in about 10 years to compare notes and see how each other are doing.

Sincerely,

your conservative friends


p.s.: Also, please take ted turner, sean penn, martin sheen, barbara streisand, alec baldwin, and jane fonda with you.

P.s.s..: And you won't have to "press 1 for english" when you call our country.

i played along and even answered your convenient bullet pointed presentation now here is how things would be, "your country" would be a frigging economic, environmental, and human rights disaster more closely resembling china than any conservative paradise you envision that would not go a year without attempting to conquer liberal america for it's resources. Amazing what you people would trade away for the sake of ridding yourselves of imagined oppression. I also assume you would want to dump the entire us debt on liberals as a nice parting gift.

View attachment 19216

 

[Luissa]

Feel free to leave.

Islands for Sale, Private Islands, Luxury Real Estate

Sandy did..

Yeahhhh......the problem with that is......conservatives actually love America. Liberals........not so much.

I love it when cons say that crap.

 

[The T]

Statist LOVE America so much they have to change it...

 

[Mr. Peepers]

Do we get to keep the Military?

How will the liberals defend themselves? Oh yeah...they have Cumbya...plenty to ward off ANY attacker...!

We would get all the scientists and engineers, so I'm sure we could figure something out. And we would have all the hackers & computer / math nerds too, of course. Besides, the only people we would have to defend ourselves against is you guys once you use up all your resources and destroy your environment and economy. I guess this would happen after the proles go all French revolution on your fascist corporate puppetmasters. I guess we could build a refugee camp for them...

 

[kwc57]

(Disclaimer: This is an adaptation of a divorce agreement that has been circulating around the internet for awhile.)

To All My Dearest Beloved Liberal, Leftist, Social Progressive, Regressive, Marxist, and Liberation Theologist Friends:

Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound, it is time to divide up our common property and split the sheets so to speak. To wit I propose the following:

DIVORCE AGREEMENT​

WHEREAS, we have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids and for sake of future generations, but the whole of this latest election process has revealed that our relationship has clearly run its course, and

WHEREAS, our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all,

THEREFORE let's end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is the suggested model separation agreement:

1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass apportioned according to numerical representation. You can have California, Oregon, and Washington State. We'll take all the rest.

2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with all the wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, illegal aliens, unions, peaceniks, war protesters, and the OSW groups.

9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood

11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us or hit back when we are threatened or attacked.

14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Chevy Volt you can find.

15. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any doctors to deliver it. We'll continue to believe that healthcare is more affordable and more excellent in a free market system.

16. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic", "God Bless America", and "The National Anthem."

17. You get "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".

18. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

19. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.

Please sign and pass it on if you will agree to this equitable distribution of property, values, and practices.

In the spirit of friendly parting, we will arrange for a community picnic in about 10 years to compare notes and see how each other are doing.

Sincerely,

Your Conservative Friends


P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, Alec Baldwin, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.

I love these things, and the way they stereotype liberals into a box. So fun, and make you look like a political hack.

Usually the same people who post this stuff, call Obama a communist.

Call? We simply acknowledge.

 

[Foxfyre]

By the way, since its Number One industry is oil production, Alaska will have to stay on the Conservative side. Remember we are taking the hated oil barons and all the evil oil. The Leftists will get all the wind farms, solar, and bio fuel industries.

Do we get to keep the Military?

Yes, No. 4 on the list allocates the Police, the NRA, and the Military to our side. The Left has been pretty clear that they don't like or appreciate any of them so that is only logical. Since the war protesters will go to their side, it does create a quandary of what they will then protest of course, but I'm sure they can figure out something. Then again, we'll have the problem of finding enough work for the police force once all those protest groups have departed, but that's a happy problem to solve.

 

[peach174]

I think Libs should keep N.Y. State.
I think Calif. should be split, the North to Cons and the South to libs. That way they can still take care of the illegals.

 

[Luissa]

(Disclaimer: This is an adaptation of a divorce agreement that has been circulating around the internet for awhile.)

To All My Dearest Beloved Liberal, Leftist, Social Progressive, Regressive, Marxist, and Liberation Theologist Friends:

Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound, it is time to divide up our common property and split the sheets so to speak. To wit I propose the following:

DIVORCE AGREEMENT​

WHEREAS, we have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids and for sake of future generations, but the whole of this latest election process has revealed that our relationship has clearly run its course, and

WHEREAS, our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all,

THEREFORE let's end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is the suggested model separation agreement:

1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass apportioned according to numerical representation. You can have California, Oregon, and Washington State. We'll take all the rest.

2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with all the wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, illegal aliens, unions, peaceniks, war protesters, and the OSW groups.

9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood

11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us or hit back when we are threatened or attacked.

14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Chevy Volt you can find.

15. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any doctors to deliver it. We'll continue to believe that healthcare is more affordable and more excellent in a free market system.

16. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic", "God Bless America", and "The National Anthem."

17. You get "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".

18. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

19. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.

Please sign and pass it on if you will agree to this equitable distribution of property, values, and practices.

In the spirit of friendly parting, we will arrange for a community picnic in about 10 years to compare notes and see how each other are doing.

Sincerely,

Your Conservative Friends


P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, Alec Baldwin, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.

I love these things, and the way they stereotype liberals into a box. So fun, and make you look like a political hack.

Usually the same people who post this stuff, call Obama a communist.

Call? We simply acknowledge.

Acknowledge what? That you don't know what you are talking about?

 

[The T]

By the way, since its Number One industry is oil production, Alaska will have to stay on the Conservative side. Remember we are taking the hated oil barons and all the evil oil. The Leftists will get all the wind farms, solar, and bio fuel industries.

Do we get to keep the Military?

Yes, No. 4 on the list allocates the Police, the NRA, and the Military to our side. The Left has been pretty clear that they don't like or appreciate any of them so that is only logical. Since the war protesters will go to their side, it does create a quandary of what they will then protest of course, but I'm sure they can figure out something. Then again, we'll have the problem of finding enough work for the police force once all those protest groups have departed, but that's a happy problem to solve.

Force reduction? Maybe they can go into or back into the military to enforce the borders as the Libs will surely try to infiltrate?

 

[kwc57]

Feel free to leave.

Islands for Sale, Private Islands, Luxury Real Estate

Sandy did..

Yeahhhh......the problem with that is......conservatives actually love America. Liberals........not so much.

I love it when cons say that crap.

Truth........matters.

 

[Luissa]

By the way, since its Number One industry is oil production, Alaska will have to stay on the Conservative side. Remember we are taking the hated oil barons and all the evil oil. The Leftists will get all the wind farms, solar, and bio fuel industries.

Do we get to keep the Military?

Yes, No. 4 on the list allocates the Police, the NRA, and the Military to our side. The Left has been pretty clear that they don't like or appreciate any of them so that is only logical. Since the war protesters will go to their side, it does create a quandary of what they will then protest of course, but I'm sure they can figure out something. Then again, we'll have the problem of finding enough work for the police force once all those protest groups have departed, but that's a happy problem to solve.

Police will come back as soon as you guys cut their pensions and health insurance, and tell them they will no longer have a union to protect them.

 

[Luissa]

Does this mean we get to keep the military aircrafts etc that are made in Seattle? Or sell them to you guys for a higher price?

 

[Dick Tuck]

Y'all can keep the bastard kids. We know that you've cuckolded us with them, and your secret lover, Wall Street, is the real father. We just wanted to see they had food to eat, clothes to wear, a roof over their heads, a good education, and an opportunity to make a better life themselves. But Madam Teabagger, we always fought tor "all children", even if they weren't sired by our own loins. But your Wall Street tryst mocks the kids that they were able to get you to spread your legs for.

Was that moment of orgasm worth fucking the rest of us?

 

[occupied]

Now, now boys and girls. It is to be expected that there will be a bit of residual testiness, but we can keep this amicable. At least the conservatives can. So far having fun and enjoying the exercise seems to be beyond the capacity of most of our humorless Leftist friends who continue to post insulting post after insulting post, but that is one of the reasons that the divorce is necessary. I encourage the conservatives to see the humor as well as the possibilities and not take their bait. (I do appreciate the two or three from their side who are beginning to get into the spirit of the possibilities.)

We will have our own differences of opinions in how best to accomplish goals and objectives and even in what goals and objectives we want to shoot for. As has already been pointed out, once the Leftists have departed, we will still have some fringe groups and a few wierdos to deal with, and will need to work out some kinks in a few things where differences of opinion exist.

But when I look at our more extreme and less mainstream groups compared to PETA, the OWS, and some of the environmental wackos that will to go to their side, I think we will still probably get the best end of the stick.

So lets keep it light and keep plugging away at achieving a satisfactory divorce agreement for both sides so we can each have the country we want. It is the only way that we Conservatives will be able to get back to the American exceptionalism that allows so much joy and pride and sense of accomplishment, but which so offends our Leftist brethren.

Your leftist brethren are not amused at your half-assed plan for a corporate military dictatorship on American soil.

 

[Buford]

This morning I read of two democrat pols leaving for the GOP. The ship is going down.

 

[Foxfyre]

I think Libs should keep N.Y. State.
I think Calif. should be split, the North to Cons and the South to libs. That way they can still take care of the illegals.

Well again, we have to be careful to apportion equitably and there's a lot more of us than there are of them. The only reason it doesn't look that way is because so many of the Leftist beneficiaries are concentrated in the larger metropolitan areas.

But you're probably right. We may have to allocate some additional states to them because per No. 8 they will be taking all the chronic victim and 'angry mistreated' groups that the Left is so fond of funding with tax dollars: welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, illegal aliens, unions, peaceniks, war protesters, and the OSW groups. That may require more room than the initially suggested three states.

Also we will need to take the charitable organizations as the Left won't need them once they have free license to allocate as many tax dollars as they want to help the groups they want to fund.

It is of course negotiable, but if we get Alaska and Texas, we can probably give them all of California. We have reassigned Oregon to the right side in return for Massachusetts on the Atlantic Coast and perhaps we could add New York State to the Left side? Somebody earlier also wanted San Diego on the right side, but since they get all the illegal aliens, they may need that port of entry on the left.

We have to be fair about this.

 

[bucs90]

A great example of what this divorce would look like is California vs Texas.

One is nearly bankrupt, filled with hippies and gangs and crime and deficits. Riots in the streets. Economy struggling.

The other is thriving economically, and citizens protect themselves and rarely depend on the government.

 

[Katzndogz]

We get NY, MI, Ill and CA. The only thing south we want to claim is Florida. You can have one from up north. Just not one of the ones I mentioned. And we get Alaska.

Are you sure you can support California? Too bad for you, Alaska is already republican. Once we get rid of the libs, we can start drilling for oil.

 

[BDBoop]

This morning I read of two democrat pols leaving for the GOP. The ship is going down.

"Some people are saying ..."

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYA9ufivbDw]Outfoxed: Fox News technique: "some people say" - YouTube[/ame]

 

[Dick Tuck]

This morning I read of two democrat pols leaving for the GOP. The ship is going down.

Have a cup of coffee and turn on your spell check before posting. This morning, I noted that both major tracking polls had Obama ahead.