No, a Jesus who actually fulfilled Jewish messianic expectations. A Jesus who partied with sinners and prostitutes and kept all sorts of bad company even after being baptized "as a token of repentance for the forgiveness of sins" and "Heaven opened up to him". A Jesus that taught and demonstrated the only right way to understand the figurative language and comply with the hidden subjects of the law that fulfills the promise of abundant blessings and life in the sanctuary of God, the same way that Moses originally taught to follow the law. A Jesus that you have never seen and do not know who served a God that you despise. Anyway, I do understand your dilemma.
You have been broken by trained personnel and fitted with collar and chain. It's all you have ever known. You are what you is bro.. deal with it. According to you you are happy with your choices so enjoy! Where's the squirrel? Who wants a treat? I got a ball! Sit! Fetch! That's a good boy!
"...and when you lose control, you'll reap the harvest you have sown, and as the fear grows, the bad blood slows and turns to stone, and it's too late to loose the weight you used to need to throw around, so have a good drown as you go down all alone, dragged down by the stone..."