I have a custody battle tomorrow

A guy I used to babysit for had custody of his 3 young daughters. The mother had abandoned them and her husband for some dude she met on the internet, so dad ended up getting custody. I also was friends with a guy who had custody of his son because mom was considered "unstable."
 
I've taught him many vital lessons despite him only being 3.

1. The girl next door that plays with you in the pool is super cute and does not have cuties.
2. Don't talk back to mom.
3. Dont tell on papa when he gives you M&M's in secret (runs and tells on me every time)
4. The Royals and the Chiefs are badass.
5. The only thing cuter than the girl next door is the bass on our hook.
6. Zelda is the king of games and all the donkey Kong trolls can fuck off.
7. Papas engine pisses off liberals when at stop lights.
8. The best place to watch Tom & Jerry is on the deck at 7 am.
9. Makers Mark is not juice.
10. Dont be like papa.
 

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