I just bought this french onion dip that came in a jar.....

[boedicca]

I just tried to open in again and not I might have just bruised my finger. I said I'm having enough of this shit. So, I went out side and threw it on to the concrete and the FUCKING thing didn't break!!! and there a FUCKING dent in the concrete!!!!!!!! Fuck me!!!

Seriously. If you want French Onion Dip, buy sour cream and dry onion soup mix. Put the stuff in a bowl. Stir. Onion dip. It's easy peasy.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

YOU

ARE

A

HOOT.



C'mon ... millionaire business owner can't open a frikken jar?????????????//


================

Okay, here are instructions that even you can follow:

GENTLY tap the edge of the jar lid against the counter.

Turn the jar a quarter turn and repeat.

Turn the jar a quarter turn and repeat.

Turn the jar a quarter turn and repeat.

Done.

Damn that made me dizzy.

Yeah, sorry 'bout that.

And it was way too complicated for our millionaire lady's man.

 

[Sherry]

I just tried to open in again and not I might have just bruised my finger. I said I'm having enough of this shit. So, I went out side and threw it on to the concrete and the FUCKING thing didn't break!!! and there a FUCKING dent in the concrete!!!!!!!! Fuck me!!!

Is your name Paul??

Michael. The right hand of Jesus. The angels of all angels. and that damn jar wont open!

Maybe you're related to Paul...is your name Michael Bunyan??

 

[Judicial review]

I just tried to open in again and not I might have just bruised my finger. I said I'm having enough of this shit. So, I went out side and threw it on to the concrete and the FUCKING thing didn't break!!! and there a FUCKING dent in the concrete!!!!!!!! Fuck me!!!

Seriously. If you want French Onion Dip, buy sour cream and dry onion soup mix. Put the stuff in a bowl. Stir. Onion dip. It's easy peasy.

I have select taste.

 

[Judicial review]

I just tried to open in again and not I might have just bruised my finger. I said I'm having enough of this shit. So, I went out side and threw it on to the concrete and the FUCKING thing didn't break!!! and there a FUCKING dent in the concrete!!!!!!!! Fuck me!!!

Is your name Paul??

Michael. The right hand of Jesus. The angels of all angels. and that damn jar wont open!

Maybe you're related to Paul...is your name Michael Bunyan??

I'm not in the mood for this right now....

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I just tried to open in again and not I might have just bruised my finger. I said I'm having enough of this shit. So, I went out side and threw it on to the concrete and the FUCKING thing didn't break!!! and there a FUCKING dent in the concrete!!!!!!!! Fuck me!!!

Is your name Paul??

Michael. The right hand of Jesus. The angels of all angels. and that damn jar wont open!

Right hand?

You say you gotta buddy with a right hand?

Get him to open it.

 

[boedicca]

I just tried to open in again and not I might have just bruised my finger. I said I'm having enough of this shit. So, I went out side and threw it on to the concrete and the FUCKING thing didn't break!!! and there a FUCKING dent in the concrete!!!!!!!! Fuck me!!!

Seriously. If you want French Onion Dip, buy sour cream and dry onion soup mix. Put the stuff in a bowl. Stir. Onion dip. It's easy peasy.

I have select taste.

Indeed. So discriminating that you buy onion dip in a jar...that you can't even open.

How's that working out for you?

 

[Sherry]

I just tried to open in again and not I might have just bruised my finger. I said I'm having enough of this shit. So, I went out side and threw it on to the concrete and the FUCKING thing didn't break!!! and there a FUCKING dent in the concrete!!!!!!!! Fuck me!!!

Is your name Paul??

Michael. The right hand of Jesus. The angels of all angels. and that damn jar wont open!

Maybe you're related to Paul...is your name Michael Bunyan??

I'm not in the mood for this right now....

Uh oh, never show me your buttons.

 

[Judicial review]

I just tried to open in again and not I might have just bruised my finger. I said I'm having enough of this shit. So, I went out side and threw it on to the concrete and the FUCKING thing didn't break!!! and there a FUCKING dent in the concrete!!!!!!!! Fuck me!!!

Seriously. If you want French Onion Dip, buy sour cream and dry onion soup mix. Put the stuff in a bowl. Stir. Onion dip. It's easy peasy.

I have select taste.

Indeed. So discriminating that you buy onion dip in a jar...that you can't even open.

How's that working out for you?

Pretty tough the times before, but it was worth it those times. Now this fucking jar belongs in my fire place.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I just tried to open in again and not I might have just bruised my finger. I said I'm having enough of this shit. So, I went out side and threw it on to the concrete and the FUCKING thing didn't break!!! and there a FUCKING dent in the concrete!!!!!!!! Fuck me!!!

Seriously. If you want French Onion Dip, buy sour cream and dry onion soup mix. Put the stuff in a bowl. Stir. Onion dip. It's easy peasy.

And tastes like crap.

That's nothing but salt and some powdered onion.

You could give him a recipe for Ramen noodles and Spam but he'd never get into them.

 

[Sherry]

I just tried to open in again and not I might have just bruised my finger. I said I'm having enough of this shit. So, I went out side and threw it on to the concrete and the FUCKING thing didn't break!!! and there a FUCKING dent in the concrete!!!!!!!! Fuck me!!!

Seriously. If you want French Onion Dip, buy sour cream and dry onion soup mix. Put the stuff in a bowl. Stir. Onion dip. It's easy peasy.

I have select taste.

Indeed. So discriminating that you buy onion dip in a jar...that you can't even open.

How's that working out for you?

Pretty tough the times before, but it was worth it those times. Now this fucking jar belongs in my fire place.

Is this your fireplace??

 

[JoeMoma]

Are you using your masturbating hand? It should be strong enough from all the workouts you give it.

 

[Judicial review]

I just tried to open in again and not I might have just bruised my finger. I said I'm having enough of this shit. So, I went out side and threw it on to the concrete and the FUCKING thing didn't break!!! and there a FUCKING dent in the concrete!!!!!!!! Fuck me!!!

Seriously. If you want French Onion Dip, buy sour cream and dry onion soup mix. Put the stuff in a bowl. Stir. Onion dip. It's easy peasy.

I have select taste.

Indeed. So discriminating that you buy onion dip in a jar...that you can't even open.

How's that working out for you?

Pretty tough the times before, but it was worth it those times. Now this fucking jar belongs in my fire place.

Is this your fireplace??

if it was there would be no need I could have my servants Paintmyhouse and open my jars.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I just tried to open in again and not I might have just bruised my finger. I said I'm having enough of this shit. So, I went out side and threw it on to the concrete and the FUCKING thing didn't break!!! and there a FUCKING dent in the concrete!!!!!!!! Fuck me!!!

Is your name Paul??

Michael. The right hand of Jesus. The angels of all angels. and that damn jar wont open!

Maybe you're related to Paul...is your name Michael Bunyan??

I'm not in the mood for this right now....

Same as last night - you just need to eat something.

 

[Judicial review]

Are you using your masturbating hand? It should be strong enough from all the workouts you give it.

We'll my penis muscle is pretty damn strong, and so is my upper body, but not enough.

 

[Moonglow]

Are you using your masturbating hand? It should be strong enough from all the workouts you give it.

We'll my penis muscle is pretty damn strong, and so is my upper body, but not enough.

Find a real man and it'll be open in no time...

 

[Toro]

This is the best onion dip.

Mmm-mm!

With a bag of salt and vinegar chips! It's awesome.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Seriously. If you want French Onion Dip, buy sour cream and dry onion soup mix. Put the stuff in a bowl. Stir. Onion dip. It's easy peasy.

I have select taste.

Indeed. So discriminating that you buy onion dip in a jar...that you can't even open.

How's that working out for you?

Pretty tough the times before, but it was worth it those times. Now this fucking jar belongs in my fire place.

Is this your fireplace??

if it was there would be no need I could have my servants Paintmyhouse and open my jars.

Your servants are stronger than you are?

(Notice that I didn't fall down laughing at this new lie that you have servants.)

Do they masturbate more than you?

 

[Sherry]

Seriously. If you want French Onion Dip, buy sour cream and dry onion soup mix. Put the stuff in a bowl. Stir. Onion dip. It's easy peasy.

I have select taste.

Indeed. So discriminating that you buy onion dip in a jar...that you can't even open.

How's that working out for you?

Pretty tough the times before, but it was worth it those times. Now this fucking jar belongs in my fire place.

Is this your fireplace??

if it was there would be no need I could have my servants Paintmyhouse and open my jars.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Are you using your masturbating hand? It should be strong enough from all the workouts you give it.

We'll my penis muscle is pretty damn strong, and so is my upper body, but not enough.

Which one (or both!) are you using to open this jar?


I've been reading this thread out loud and the whole room is on the floor laughing.

Seriously, you could take this dog and pony show on the road.