Votto
Diamond Member
- Oct 31, 2012
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ATLANTA, GA — Campaign staffers were sent into a frenzy ahead of tonight's presidential debate as they learned that President Joe Biden finally agreed to a drug test and relayed the information back to his wife Jill.
"I'm glad you finally agreed to a drug test, it was sent to the lab a few hours ago", said Jill Biden. "What drug test?" asked Joe Biden. "Come on man, I never peed in a cup".
"Not to worry daddio!" said Hunter, I peed in a cup for you, that way they will never see all those drugs they gave you to um...........well...........basically revive you from death that I've seen you been taking for the last week" as he began to snicker. "You fool!" yelled Biden, "You have no idea what you have just done to the Big Guy!"
The Biden campaign later issued an urgent message for clarification before the results came back stating that crack cocaine, meth, mescaline, PCP, mushrooms, and bath salts were not on the list of substances banned for use by the candidates for the debate, that is, if any of those substances were found in the urine sample which they highly doubt will be found. To ensure transparency, Merrick Garland took the privilege of personally overseeing the results so that no one could tamper with the samples or results.
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