Seymour Flops
Diamond Member
By "new normal," I mean that teachers can become so used to working around other people's kids, that the either start thinking of them as little adults, or start thinking of them as their own kids, without really realizing either. I started teaching late in life, after my own kids were pre-teen to teenagers. Prior to that, I almost never spoke to or interacted much with other people's kids. If a kid approached me, for whatever reason, I always referred them to their parents. As a teacher, that is turned 180 degrees.How in the world is working with kids not a good "new normal" for a teacher? That's what we DO. Should a nurse not be comfortable around patients?
When I was in high school, I had a younger teacher tell us that in her teacher training, she was told never to touch a student. Then about thirty years later, I was taught the Harry Wong method, in which you shake each student's hand as they walk into the classroom (no suspended due to COVID). But I see teachers hug students, and I really question the wisdom of that on many levels.I believe the breakdown you're sensing is what came about with a "family culture" in the classroom. When I stepped into my role as teacher, the unspoken and spoken expectation is that we would be professional. Yes, kind, approachable, and fair--but professional. With newer teachers, this is not a priority; maybe not even desirable. It's now about "building relationships". This can blur lines IMO and teachers-students can become too much like pals. And when teachers and students are pals, yep, teachers don't want to make those parent connections as much.
I don't think a teacher should be advising a student on their sexuality, or any other personal issues, really. Leave that to counselors and school psychologists who are trained for that.
Your last sentence is spot on, and I hadn't really thought of it that way. Teachers often blame parents for not being the same disciplinarians that parents used to be when getting a call from the school. Often the blame is justified. But the goal should be for teacher and parent to present a united front dedicated to getting the students to give their best effort. It should never be about keeping information from the parent to give the kid a break.