ChrisL
Diamond Member
Well, okay, I guess that is KIND OF related. Lol. I am sticking to the topic of BDSM though and it shows, IMO, that it is no different than any other abusive relationship.
Why do you think a person would agree to be abused and actually enjoy the act of being abused by another, whether that be a man, a woman, or even a business partner?
Why do you think a person would enjoy abusing another person and gain some kind of sexual satisfaction from such abuse?
Just because the people involved have found a fancy name and have made abuse into some type of sexual game makes it more acceptable?
I don't find anything normal or healthy about, regardless of any "safe words" or "trust." Plenty of people trust the wrong kinds of people all the time, every day.
And again, what if the "dominant" person in the game cannot find a willing participant? Does his or her proclivity to violence during sex just go away? Do you think a person who enjoys these kinds of activities would need more and more to become satisfied with his or her sex life? Or do you think they reach some kind of plateau and just keep it there?
These are just some of the questions a person should probably ask him or herself before getting involved in such a game. I mean, I really can't even refer to this as a Relationship.Lol.
Hi ChrisL
1. individually
I know with some people, their brain chemistry is different. One person who tried to explain to me why he needed to do RISKY behavior was he didn't feel the same stimulation other people feel naturally. It took things like driving fast, or bungee jumping, etc. to even boost the brain up to the level people have naturally from regular stimulations and interactions.
If you look up books on sociopathy, this is being studied as just how brains are different and don't respond as much to social interaction, empathy for others, etc. So the need for stimulation can be triggered by doing excessive things.
It's one thing to stimulate yourself in ways that only affect you. What becomes criminal is when people only get stimulation, or in extreme cases relief from an addiction, from torturing other people to get a reaction out of them they can "feel."
That is one factor.
2. between partners
Another approach to understanding this is some people are naturally more dominant or submissive in relations.
So what happens if people go to extremes with these extremes? Then they need partners who either meet their natural inclinations or balance them out. So you end up with people seeking others who fall into certain roles that complement each other.
3. spiritually or collectively
Now, as for spiritually what is going on, if you believe people are trying to restore balance between male and female energies collectively, this could all be some serious karma working itself out. Who knows WHERE this came from or where it's going, but the point is to heal and resolve old things and not let them repeat. So if this is leftover karma from the past, maybe it's just working itself through like slaves who were beaten or raped by masters, and now this is the reverse karma.
However, if it is not out of forgiveness and resolution of the past, but is projected guilt that is just going in circles that isn't healing anything but perpetuating the sickness to go on and on.
That's why I'd make sure people are truly spiritual healed of past issues/karma so this isn't a projection in vicious cycle, but really is a natural expression to get this energy out of the system, wherever it may have come from, and release it permanently.
I have even proposed that if people WANT to do these things, what if they only get pleasure from KILLING someone,
why not set it up where they can. So if people AGREE they committed a capital offense and AGREE to the death penalty.
Or they AGREE they tortured people and AGREE to be tortured, then let these people do the job instead of judging them for it.
I met someone who swears her fantasy is to do the bondage torture rape stuff, and everyone kids her and says she is fake.
But what if someone did AGREE they deserved that for what they did to other people. Why not let her come in and perform her fantasy on this person?
Because that is not how we do things in our society. What of the person who wants to torture and hurt others? I'm sorry, but I have yet to hear a good reason or a justification for that. They are sociopaths? Well that is a mental disorder, which is what I started off saying when others seemed to get offended. Correct?
Sociopath is not enough to distinguish the criminal factor.
There are many sociopaths who are not criminal, but use their objective minds
to make astute business decisions without emotional distractions that other people have.
Some learn to use their different mindsets in productive ways that cause no harm.
There is something else that determines if people will cause harm to themselves or others.
I think studies on this will prove that factor is whether we are forgiving or not. If we don't forgive and fully heal, we project our emotions onto other people and cause emotional abuse. Because this is so commonplace, it becomes hypocritical to judge who is abusive if everyone bullies and overrides the consent of others, out of defense.
We cannot even isolate this factor if we go around teaching it is normal to hate and fear
and not to forgive. The challenge is to reform society where everyone else agrees to
consistent norms of respecting the consent and beliefs of others, and then the people who are
truly sick will stand out. We can't do that right now if EVERYONE is bullying and judging
people emotionally. If we resolve those issues that can be resolved, it will become more
clear which people cannot resolve their issues. Instead of hiding behind everyone else.
Has nothing to do with hate, fear, bullying and judging; it has to do with unhealthy human beings doing unhealthy and self-destructive things and acknowledging that instead of playing into the game and being a phony, IMO.
