Protests: Fifty Shades as Glamorizing Domestic Violence

[ChrisL]

Disir I understand that you have no patience for those,
but ChrisL is not one.

Very passionate, and honest enough to say what's going on her side.
Trying to resolve this openly. some projection going on, mutually,
but that's not the point of the conversation but a side effect of it.

Pfftt......she's an attention whore.

So, I put her on ignore.

Call it Sadism light.

Lol.

Why We Need To Rethink The Attention Whore Label Emma Gray

Nova contends that our envy of other women and our lack of understanding for people who are different from us is part of what drives us to assign someone the label. She admits that her conservative Christian upbringing drove her to ridicule women who didn't fit that mold. "Basically, I learned that shaming those who craved attention and acted on their impulses was a necessary part of upholding my self-esteem as a woman, and the wider the distinction between myself and them, the better," she admitted.

Is Attention Ho better? ppbbfftt

Oh, and Emily. I did find an article about how BDSM is a way to get away with abusing women. I'm not sure if I want to post it though, because it talks a lot about feminism. I don't REALLY consider myself a feminist as I enjoy my femininity, and I know that women cannot do EVERYTHING that men can do, and vice versa. But the article does make some valid points. Should I post it? I'm sure I'll get attacked as being a feminazi if I do. Lol.

You have free speech, feel free to share.
If anyone responds, we can have a nice conversation.
Floor is yours.

I Dated Christian Grey How Women Are Groomed For Abuse The Mary Sue

 

[ChrisL]

There's more too . . .

BDSM is Violence Against Women Liberation Collective

Excerpt:

BDSM occurs in the context of patriarchal rape culture, where women always “deserve” the rape, violence, abuse and death that men dish out to them, and women who object to this treatment are called names, and dismissed out-of-hand.


One of the names we are called is “sex negative”, which as many of us know, is actually a code word for “frigid” where “frigid”, as many feminists know, is actually a pejorative referring to our refusal to please men. Radical feminists embrace our refusal to give a f’k about what men want, so we are happy to be considered prude if it means liberation for women.

We are also told that we are “slut shaming” when we object to BDSM, even though we know that no woman is a slut, and no woman is to blame for the ways that men abuse her.

We are told that we are “not respecting the agency” of women who “choose” to engage in BDSM when recognize that playing a submissive role in sexual situations is likely born out of Societal Stockholm Syndrome. We never, however, blame the women who participate in the practice– our blame sits squarely on the shoulders of men who dominate women.

In so blaming, we are told that we are “kink shaming” the men who like to beat and sexually torture women for fun. A good example of one such man is Snowdrop Explodes who was invited as a “BDSM expert” to talk about BDSM and abuse on the site Womanist Musings. It was revealed that this so-called “expert” had in the past blogged without apology about his plan to rape and murder a woman in his local park. These are the types of men we are “kink shaming”.

Women who suffer abuse from BDSM are often blamed for having not “said the safe word” when they express discomfort about the abuse they received, which is clearly a case of blaming the victim.

Often women who report on the abuse they experience are silenced, as Vales was when her agent forced her to take down her confessional blog post, or as her new boyfriend does by thanking the cowboy for “taming her”.

 

[ChrisL]

Disir I understand that you have no patience for those,
but ChrisL is not one.

Very passionate, and honest enough to say what's going on her side.
Trying to resolve this openly. some projection going on, mutually,
but that's not the point of the conversation but a side effect of it.

Pfftt......she's an attention whore.

So, I put her on ignore.

Call it Sadism light.

Lol.

Why We Need To Rethink The Attention Whore Label Emma Gray

Nova contends that our envy of other women and our lack of understanding for people who are different from us is part of what drives us to assign someone the label. She admits that her conservative Christian upbringing drove her to ridicule women who didn't fit that mold. "Basically, I learned that shaming those who craved attention and acted on their impulses was a necessary part of upholding my self-esteem as a woman, and the wider the distinction between myself and them, the better," she admitted.

Is Attention Ho better? ppbbfftt

Well, it's a known fact that envious women will call other women such names. Ho, whore, attention whore, amongst others.

How about Attention Hog. I vote for that. And it can go for anyone.

I'm surprised at you, Emily, and disappointed. I hope you are only joking around.

 

[emilynghiem]

Pfftt......she's an attention whore.

So, I put her on ignore.

Call it Sadism light.

Lol.

Why We Need To Rethink The Attention Whore Label Emma Gray

Nova contends that our envy of other women and our lack of understanding for people who are different from us is part of what drives us to assign someone the label. She admits that her conservative Christian upbringing drove her to ridicule women who didn't fit that mold. "Basically, I learned that shaming those who craved attention and acted on their impulses was a necessary part of upholding my self-esteem as a woman, and the wider the distinction between myself and them, the better," she admitted.

Is Attention Ho better? ppbbfftt

Well, it's a known fact that envious women will call other women such names. Ho, whore, attention whore, amongst others.

How about Attention Hog. I vote for that. And it can go for anyone.

I'm surprised at you, Emily, and disappointed. I hope you are only joking around.

Yes both A Ho and A Hog were jokes making fun of the original term as being sexist.
But if someone is insistent on using a term for grabbing attention, then Attention Hog makes more sense. Frankly I've seen men called ho's and whores and corporate whores just as
much so it is more generic to me and no longer refers to women more than men. But maybe
that is just my political environment I'm in where politicians are called prostitutes which is generic.

Note: none of this is about you, or whoever referred this to you, I didn't agree to that anyway.

it was just making fun of the sexist term and providing a "political correct" alternative as a joke.
Sorry if my humor isn't coming across clear online. Don't read my story linked on my reply to GA
unless it's clear to you where I am joking around as political satire.

I spoof both sides equally, so it makes a statement about the struggle in the relationship.

 

[ChrisL]

Lol.

Why We Need To Rethink The Attention Whore Label Emma Gray

Nova contends that our envy of other women and our lack of understanding for people who are different from us is part of what drives us to assign someone the label. She admits that her conservative Christian upbringing drove her to ridicule women who didn't fit that mold. "Basically, I learned that shaming those who craved attention and acted on their impulses was a necessary part of upholding my self-esteem as a woman, and the wider the distinction between myself and them, the better," she admitted.

Is Attention Ho better? ppbbfftt

Well, it's a known fact that envious women will call other women such names. Ho, whore, attention whore, amongst others.

How about Attention Hog. I vote for that. And it can go for anyone.

I'm surprised at you, Emily, and disappointed. I hope you are only joking around.

Yes both A Ho and A Hog were jokes making fun of the original term as being sexist.
But if someone is insistent on using a term for grabbing attention, then Attention Hog makes more sense. Frankly I've seen men called ho's and whores and corporate whores just as
much so it is more generic to me and no longer refers to women more than men. But maybe
that is just my political environment I'm in where politicians are called prostitutes which is generic.

Note: none of this is about you, or whoever referred this to you, I didn't agree to that anyway.

it was just making fun of the sexist term and providing a "political correct" alternative as a joke.
Sorry if my humor isn't coming across clear online. Don't read my story linked on my reply to GA
unless it's clear to you where I am joking around as political satire.

I spoof both sides equally, so it makes a statement about the struggle in the relationship.

Okay, I misunderstood. Emoticons help to avoid misunderstandings when you are making a joke. That's why I always use them. I love emoticons, obviously. Lol.

 

[ChrisL]

Now, I don't agree with the entire article above. I don't believe there is a "rape" culture, except for maybe in the BDSM world. I love men and I believe that most of them DO want to have a loving relationship with a woman and not an abusive one, but I think that women are being used and abused in the BDSM world.

 

[emilynghiem]

Now, I don't agree with the entire article above. I don't believe there is a "rape" culture, except for maybe in the BDSM world. I love men and I believe that most of them DO want to have a loving relationship with a woman and not an abusive one, but I think that women are being used and abused in the BDSM world.

OK I'll read it this weekend with your remarks in mind.

Also did you read the article on Vanderbilt that I posted in that long reply on outreach to prevent rape and abuse? Protests Fifty Shades as Glamorizing Domestic Violence Page 51 US Message Board - Political Discussion Forum

let me know what you think of that one, I had no idea the frat party recruitment was basically a masked
form of trafficking but not for money but for enticement into football programs and scholarships I guess, not sure.
all underground and hushed up.

here's direct link
COLUMN Turning a blind eye - The Vanderbilt Hustler Sports

 

[ChrisL]

Now, I don't agree with the entire article above. I don't believe there is a "rape" culture, except for maybe in the BDSM world. I love men and I believe that most of them DO want to have a loving relationship with a woman and not an abusive one, but I think that women are being used and abused in the BDSM world.

OK I'll read it this weekend with your remarks in mind.

Also did you read the article on Vanderbilt that I posted in that long reply on outreach to prevent rape and abuse? Protests Fifty Shades as Glamorizing Domestic Violence Page 51 US Message Board - Political Discussion Forum

let me know what you think of that one, I had no idea the frat party recruitment was basically a masked
form of trafficking but not for money but for enticement into football programs and scholarships I guess, not sure.
all underground and hushed up.

here's direct link
COLUMN Turning a blind eye - The Vanderbilt Hustler Sports

Thanks Emily, I will be sure to check that out.

 

[ChrisL]

Now, I don't agree with the entire article above. I don't believe there is a "rape" culture, except for maybe in the BDSM world. I love men and I believe that most of them DO want to have a loving relationship with a woman and not an abusive one, but I think that women are being used and abused in the BDSM world.

OK I'll read it this weekend with your remarks in mind.

Also did you read the article on Vanderbilt that I posted in that long reply on outreach to prevent rape and abuse? Protests Fifty Shades as Glamorizing Domestic Violence Page 51 US Message Board - Political Discussion Forum

let me know what you think of that one, I had no idea the frat party recruitment was basically a masked
form of trafficking but not for money but for enticement into football programs and scholarships I guess, not sure.
all underground and hushed up.

here's direct link
COLUMN Turning a blind eye - The Vanderbilt Hustler Sports

Yes, there are many things in the article I posted that I don't necessarily agree with, except for the parts about BDSM being a form of abuse.

 

[ChrisL]

Now, I don't agree with the entire article above. I don't believe there is a "rape" culture, except for maybe in the BDSM world. I love men and I believe that most of them DO want to have a loving relationship with a woman and not an abusive one, but I think that women are being used and abused in the BDSM world.

OK I'll read it this weekend with your remarks in mind.

Also did you read the article on Vanderbilt that I posted in that long reply on outreach to prevent rape and abuse? Protests Fifty Shades as Glamorizing Domestic Violence Page 51 US Message Board - Political Discussion Forum

let me know what you think of that one, I had no idea the frat party recruitment was basically a masked
form of trafficking but not for money but for enticement into football programs and scholarships I guess, not sure.
all underground and hushed up.

here's direct link
COLUMN Turning a blind eye - The Vanderbilt Hustler Sports

That is an awful story. Just awful. I can't believe what people can get away with because they are sports stars. Disgusting.

 

[emilynghiem]

https://screen.yahoo.com/sexual-harassment-000000677.html

My bf had this post to add ^ a spoof on what causes sexual harassment at work

He said the best comment he saw on Fifty Shades was:
It was only sexy because the guy was a billionaire.
Had he lived in a trailer, it would have been a CSI episode.

 

[emilynghiem]

Pfftt......she's an attention whore.

So, I put her on ignore.

Call it Sadism light.

Lol.

Why We Need To Rethink The Attention Whore Label Emma Gray

Nova contends that our envy of other women and our lack of understanding for people who are different from us is part of what drives us to assign someone the label. She admits that her conservative Christian upbringing drove her to ridicule women who didn't fit that mold. "Basically, I learned that shaming those who craved attention and acted on their impulses was a necessary part of upholding my self-esteem as a woman, and the wider the distinction between myself and them, the better," she admitted.

Is Attention Ho better? ppbbfftt

Oh, and Emily. I did find an article about how BDSM is a way to get away with abusing women. I'm not sure if I want to post it though, because it talks a lot about feminism. I don't REALLY consider myself a feminist as I enjoy my femininity, and I know that women cannot do EVERYTHING that men can do, and vice versa. But the article does make some valid points. Should I post it? I'm sure I'll get attacked as being a feminazi if I do. Lol.

You have free speech, feel free to share.
If anyone responds, we can have a nice conversation.
Floor is yours.

I Dated Christian Grey How Women Are Groomed For Abuse The Mary Sue

Thanks for this article. I think the writer made very clear points about not accepting domineering behavior as the norm, so that anything naturally considerate of others is no longer normal but seen as a sign of something special. while taking women for granted who are expected to be nice and agreeable all the time, and anything less is seen as deficient.

I couldn't believe the times I ran into this.
I would donate rent to help volunteers with nonprofits sharing a duplex for office space.
And when I couldn't pay it any longer I got blamed with demands for "how were they were expected to pay the costs."
And I said why didn't they push that hard and demand help when I was struggling to pay the costs.
Why was my labor taken for granted and yet they weren't expected to work to pay for their volunteer costs.

And the same thing happened when I had worked extra hours to pay for some media work to
cover the community plans for a press conference.

The volunteer I had gone out of my way to pay expenses for in order to free up their time to work on this
complained I was treating them like a slave. I said well I'm paying for this work and cannot afford this.
They claimed they normally charge xyz per hour, and they had worked so many hours and deserved
the thousands of dollars I covered for just a single project that they didn't even finish. the work was lost.
but supposedly this person had put in enough hours to justify covering thousands of dollars of debts I covered.

So then I pointed out that I had worked at less than 15.00 an hour to earn that money minus the taxes I had to pay.
so the hours that I had put into this project to cover the costs were far more than the hours this person had put in.
there was NO comparison.

But those hours didn't count. Once the money "magically came out of nowhere"
then this person swore they earned it by charging their usual rates per hour.

And that is what happens with people who think govt needs to take care of them
because they think they pay for it. they think that any taxes that businesses pay
belong to govt and th epublic, this isn't the business people earning it and having to pay their labor to govt.
they think that is owed to govt and owed to them.

so this becomes the NORM
and anything less is seen as GREED

so that's how they say rich people are greedy and need to pay more taxes to pay their share
because the only way they earned their money was because govt "allowed them to"

and poor people are either blamed or made dependent on govt or both.

so that is like keeping women dependent on men, where that is the norm.
everything is supposed to go through the men, just like people think everything has to be done through govt

you cannot trust people to act independently on their own. very similar setting up these norms to feel safe.

 

[hipeter924]

I didn't enjoy it, and didn't finish reading it.

There is better fanfiction than 50 shades of grey on the internet.

 

[ChrisL]

Lol.

Why We Need To Rethink The Attention Whore Label Emma Gray

Nova contends that our envy of other women and our lack of understanding for people who are different from us is part of what drives us to assign someone the label. She admits that her conservative Christian upbringing drove her to ridicule women who didn't fit that mold. "Basically, I learned that shaming those who craved attention and acted on their impulses was a necessary part of upholding my self-esteem as a woman, and the wider the distinction between myself and them, the better," she admitted.

Is Attention Ho better? ppbbfftt

Oh, and Emily. I did find an article about how BDSM is a way to get away with abusing women. I'm not sure if I want to post it though, because it talks a lot about feminism. I don't REALLY consider myself a feminist as I enjoy my femininity, and I know that women cannot do EVERYTHING that men can do, and vice versa. But the article does make some valid points. Should I post it? I'm sure I'll get attacked as being a feminazi if I do. Lol.

You have free speech, feel free to share.
If anyone responds, we can have a nice conversation.
Floor is yours.

I Dated Christian Grey How Women Are Groomed For Abuse The Mary Sue

Thanks for this article. I think the writer made very clear points about not accepting domineering behavior as the norm, so that anything naturally considerate of others is no longer normal but seen as a sign of something special. while taking women for granted who are expected to be nice and agreeable all the time, and anything less is seen as deficient.

I couldn't believe the times I ran into this.
I would donate rent to help volunteers with nonprofits sharing a duplex for office space.
And when I couldn't pay it any longer I got blamed with demands for "how were they were expected to pay the costs."
And I said why didn't they push that hard and demand help when I was struggling to pay the costs.
Why was my labor taken for granted and yet they weren't expected to work to pay for their volunteer costs.

And the same thing happened when I had worked extra hours to pay for some media work to
cover the community plans for a press conference.

The volunteer I had gone out of my way to pay expenses for in order to free up their time to work on this
complained I was treating them like a slave. I said well I'm paying for this work and cannot afford this.
They claimed they normally charge xyz per hour, and they had worked so many hours and deserved
the thousands of dollars I covered for just a single project that they didn't even finish. the work was lost.
but supposedly this person had put in enough hours to justify covering thousands of dollars of debts I covered.

So then I pointed out that I had worked at less than 15.00 an hour to earn that money minus the taxes I had to pay.
so the hours that I had put into this project to cover the costs were far more than the hours this person had put in.
there was NO comparison.

But those hours didn't count. Once the money "magically came out of nowhere"
then this person swore they earned it by charging their usual rates per hour.

And that is what happens with people who think govt needs to take care of them
because they think they pay for it. they think that any taxes that businesses pay
belong to govt and th epublic, this isn't the business people earning it and having to pay their labor to govt.
they think that is owed to govt and owed to them.

so this becomes the NORM
and anything less is seen as GREED

so that's how they say rich people are greedy and need to pay more taxes to pay their share
because the only way they earned their money was because govt "allowed them to"

and poor people are either blamed or made dependent on govt or both.

so that is like keeping women dependent on men, where that is the norm.
everything is supposed to go through the men, just like people think everything has to be done through govt

you cannot trust people to act independently on their own. very similar setting up these norms to feel safe.

Well, okay, I guess that is KIND OF related. Lol. I am sticking to the topic of BDSM though and it shows, IMO, that it is no different than any other abusive relationship.

Why do you think a person would agree to be abused and actually enjoy the act of being abused by another, whether that be a man, a woman, or even a business partner?

Why do you think a person would enjoy abusing another person and gain some kind of sexual satisfaction from such abuse?

Just because the people involved have found a fancy name and have made abuse into some type of sexual game makes it more acceptable?

I don't find anything normal or healthy about, regardless of any "safe words" or "trust." Plenty of people trust the wrong kinds of people all the time, every day.

And again, what if the "dominant" person in the game cannot find a willing participant? Does his or her proclivity to violence during sex just go away? Do you think a person who enjoys these kinds of activities would need more and more to become satisfied with his or her sex life? Or do you think they reach some kind of plateau and just keep it there?

These are just some of the questions a person should probably ask him or herself before getting involved in such a game. I mean, I really can't even refer to this as a Relationship. Lol.

 

[emilynghiem]

Is Attention Ho better? ppbbfftt

Oh, and Emily. I did find an article about how BDSM is a way to get away with abusing women. I'm not sure if I want to post it though, because it talks a lot about feminism. I don't REALLY consider myself a feminist as I enjoy my femininity, and I know that women cannot do EVERYTHING that men can do, and vice versa. But the article does make some valid points. Should I post it? I'm sure I'll get attacked as being a feminazi if I do. Lol.

You have free speech, feel free to share.
If anyone responds, we can have a nice conversation.
Floor is yours.

I Dated Christian Grey How Women Are Groomed For Abuse The Mary Sue

Thanks for this article. I think the writer made very clear points about not accepting domineering behavior as the norm, so that anything naturally considerate of others is no longer normal but seen as a sign of something special. while taking women for granted who are expected to be nice and agreeable all the time, and anything less is seen as deficient.

I couldn't believe the times I ran into this.
I would donate rent to help volunteers with nonprofits sharing a duplex for office space.
And when I couldn't pay it any longer I got blamed with demands for "how were they were expected to pay the costs."
And I said why didn't they push that hard and demand help when I was struggling to pay the costs.
Why was my labor taken for granted and yet they weren't expected to work to pay for their volunteer costs.

And the same thing happened when I had worked extra hours to pay for some media work to
cover the community plans for a press conference.

The volunteer I had gone out of my way to pay expenses for in order to free up their time to work on this
complained I was treating them like a slave. I said well I'm paying for this work and cannot afford this.
They claimed they normally charge xyz per hour, and they had worked so many hours and deserved
the thousands of dollars I covered for just a single project that they didn't even finish. the work was lost.
but supposedly this person had put in enough hours to justify covering thousands of dollars of debts I covered.

So then I pointed out that I had worked at less than 15.00 an hour to earn that money minus the taxes I had to pay.
so the hours that I had put into this project to cover the costs were far more than the hours this person had put in.
there was NO comparison.

But those hours didn't count. Once the money "magically came out of nowhere"
then this person swore they earned it by charging their usual rates per hour.

And that is what happens with people who think govt needs to take care of them
because they think they pay for it. they think that any taxes that businesses pay
belong to govt and th epublic, this isn't the business people earning it and having to pay their labor to govt.
they think that is owed to govt and owed to them.

so this becomes the NORM
and anything less is seen as GREED

so that's how they say rich people are greedy and need to pay more taxes to pay their share
because the only way they earned their money was because govt "allowed them to"

and poor people are either blamed or made dependent on govt or both.

so that is like keeping women dependent on men, where that is the norm.
everything is supposed to go through the men, just like people think everything has to be done through govt

you cannot trust people to act independently on their own. very similar setting up these norms to feel safe.

Well, okay, I guess that is KIND OF related. Lol. I am sticking to the topic of BDSM though and it shows, IMO, that it is no different than any other abusive relationship.

Why do you think a person would agree to be abused and actually enjoy the act of being abused by another, whether that be a man, a woman, or even a business partner?

Why do you think a person would enjoy abusing another person and gain some kind of sexual satisfaction from such abuse?

Just because the people involved have found a fancy name and have made abuse into some type of sexual game makes it more acceptable?

I don't find anything normal or healthy about, regardless of any "safe words" or "trust." Plenty of people trust the wrong kinds of people all the time, every day.

And again, what if the "dominant" person in the game cannot find a willing participant? Does his or her proclivity to violence during sex just go away? Do you think a person who enjoys these kinds of activities would need more and more to become satisfied with his or her sex life? Or do you think they reach some kind of plateau and just keep it there?

These are just some of the questions a person should probably ask him or herself before getting involved in such a game. I mean, I really can't even refer to this as a Relationship. Lol.

Hi ChrisL

1. individually
I know with some people, their brain chemistry is different. One person who tried to explain to me why he needed to do RISKY behavior was he didn't feel the same stimulation other people feel naturally. It took things like driving fast, or bungee jumping, etc. to even boost the brain up to the level people have naturally from regular stimulations and interactions.

If you look up books on sociopathy, this is being studied as just how brains are different and don't respond as much to social interaction, empathy for others, etc. So the need for stimulation can be triggered by doing excessive things.

It's one thing to stimulate yourself in ways that only affect you. What becomes criminal is when people only get stimulation, or in extreme cases relief from an addiction, from torturing other people to get a reaction out of them they can "feel."

That is one factor.

2. between partners
Another approach to understanding this is some people are naturally more dominant or submissive in relations.
So what happens if people go to extremes with these extremes? Then they need partners who either meet their natural inclinations or balance them out. So you end up with people seeking others who fall into certain roles that complement each other.

3. spiritually or collectively
Now, as for spiritually what is going on, if you believe people are trying to restore balance between male and female energies collectively, this could all be some serious karma working itself out. Who knows WHERE this came from or where it's going, but the point is to heal and resolve old things and not let them repeat. So if this is leftover karma from the past, maybe it's just working itself through like slaves who were beaten or raped by masters, and now this is the reverse karma.
However, if it is not out of forgiveness and resolution of the past, but is projected guilt that is just going in circles that isn't healing anything but perpetuating the sickness to go on and on.

That's why I'd make sure people are truly spiritual healed of past issues/karma so this isn't a projection in vicious cycle, but really is a natural expression to get this energy out of the system, wherever it may have come from, and release it permanently.

I have even proposed that if people WANT to do these things, what if they only get pleasure from KILLING someone,
why not set it up where they can. So if people AGREE they committed a capital offense and AGREE to the death penalty.
Or they AGREE they tortured people and AGREE to be tortured, then let these people do the job instead of judging them for it.

I met someone who swears her fantasy is to do the bondage torture rape stuff, and everyone kids her and says she is fake.
But what if someone did AGREE they deserved that for what they did to other people. Why not let her come in and perform her fantasy on this person?

 

[ChrisL]

Oh, and Emily. I did find an article about how BDSM is a way to get away with abusing women. I'm not sure if I want to post it though, because it talks a lot about feminism. I don't REALLY consider myself a feminist as I enjoy my femininity, and I know that women cannot do EVERYTHING that men can do, and vice versa. But the article does make some valid points. Should I post it? I'm sure I'll get attacked as being a feminazi if I do. Lol.

You have free speech, feel free to share.
If anyone responds, we can have a nice conversation.
Floor is yours.

I Dated Christian Grey How Women Are Groomed For Abuse The Mary Sue

Thanks for this article. I think the writer made very clear points about not accepting domineering behavior as the norm, so that anything naturally considerate of others is no longer normal but seen as a sign of something special. while taking women for granted who are expected to be nice and agreeable all the time, and anything less is seen as deficient.

I couldn't believe the times I ran into this.
I would donate rent to help volunteers with nonprofits sharing a duplex for office space.
And when I couldn't pay it any longer I got blamed with demands for "how were they were expected to pay the costs."
And I said why didn't they push that hard and demand help when I was struggling to pay the costs.
Why was my labor taken for granted and yet they weren't expected to work to pay for their volunteer costs.

And the same thing happened when I had worked extra hours to pay for some media work to
cover the community plans for a press conference.

The volunteer I had gone out of my way to pay expenses for in order to free up their time to work on this
complained I was treating them like a slave. I said well I'm paying for this work and cannot afford this.
They claimed they normally charge xyz per hour, and they had worked so many hours and deserved
the thousands of dollars I covered for just a single project that they didn't even finish. the work was lost.
but supposedly this person had put in enough hours to justify covering thousands of dollars of debts I covered.

So then I pointed out that I had worked at less than 15.00 an hour to earn that money minus the taxes I had to pay.
so the hours that I had put into this project to cover the costs were far more than the hours this person had put in.
there was NO comparison.

But those hours didn't count. Once the money "magically came out of nowhere"
then this person swore they earned it by charging their usual rates per hour.

And that is what happens with people who think govt needs to take care of them
because they think they pay for it. they think that any taxes that businesses pay
belong to govt and th epublic, this isn't the business people earning it and having to pay their labor to govt.
they think that is owed to govt and owed to them.

so this becomes the NORM
and anything less is seen as GREED

so that's how they say rich people are greedy and need to pay more taxes to pay their share
because the only way they earned their money was because govt "allowed them to"

and poor people are either blamed or made dependent on govt or both.

so that is like keeping women dependent on men, where that is the norm.
everything is supposed to go through the men, just like people think everything has to be done through govt

you cannot trust people to act independently on their own. very similar setting up these norms to feel safe.

Well, okay, I guess that is KIND OF related. Lol. I am sticking to the topic of BDSM though and it shows, IMO, that it is no different than any other abusive relationship.

Why do you think a person would agree to be abused and actually enjoy the act of being abused by another, whether that be a man, a woman, or even a business partner?

Why do you think a person would enjoy abusing another person and gain some kind of sexual satisfaction from such abuse?

Just because the people involved have found a fancy name and have made abuse into some type of sexual game makes it more acceptable?

I don't find anything normal or healthy about, regardless of any "safe words" or "trust." Plenty of people trust the wrong kinds of people all the time, every day.

And again, what if the "dominant" person in the game cannot find a willing participant? Does his or her proclivity to violence during sex just go away? Do you think a person who enjoys these kinds of activities would need more and more to become satisfied with his or her sex life? Or do you think they reach some kind of plateau and just keep it there?

These are just some of the questions a person should probably ask him or herself before getting involved in such a game. I mean, I really can't even refer to this as a Relationship. Lol.

Hi ChrisL

1. individually
I know with some people, their brain chemistry is different. One person who tried to explain to me why he needed to do RISKY behavior was he didn't feel the same stimulation other people feel naturally. It took things like driving fast, or bungee jumping, etc. to even boost the brain up to the level people have naturally from regular stimulations and interactions.

If you look up books on sociopathy, this is being studied as just how brains are different and don't respond as much to social interaction, empathy for others, etc. So the need for stimulation can be triggered by doing excessive things.

It's one thing to stimulate yourself in ways that only affect you. What becomes criminal is when people only get stimulation, or in extreme cases relief from an addiction, from torturing other people to get a reaction out of them they can "feel."

That is one factor.

2. between partners
Another approach to understanding this is some people are naturally more dominant or submissive in relations.
So what happens if people go to extremes with these extremes? Then they need partners who either meet their natural inclinations or balance them out. So you end up with people seeking others who fall into certain roles that complement each other.

3. spiritually or collectively
Now, as for spiritually what is going on, if you believe people are trying to restore balance between male and female energies collectively, this could all be some serious karma working itself out. Who knows WHERE this came from or where it's going, but the point is to heal and resolve old things and not let them repeat. So if this is leftover karma from the past, maybe it's just working itself through like slaves who were beaten or raped by masters, and now this is the reverse karma.
However, if it is not out of forgiveness and resolution of the past, but is projected guilt that is just going in circles that isn't healing anything but perpetuating the sickness to go on and on.

That's why I'd make sure people are truly spiritual healed of past issues/karma so this isn't a projection in vicious cycle, but really is a natural expression to get this energy out of the system, wherever it may have come from, and release it permanently.

I have even proposed that if people WANT to do these things, what if they only get pleasure from KILLING someone,
why not set it up where they can. So if people AGREE they committed a capital offense and AGREE to the death penalty.
Or they AGREE they tortured people and AGREE to be tortured, then let these people do the job instead of judging them for it.

I met someone who swears her fantasy is to do the bondage torture rape stuff, and everyone kids her and says she is fake.
But what if someone did AGREE they deserved that for what they did to other people. Why not let her come in and perform her fantasy on this person?

Because that is not how we do things in our society. What of the person who wants to torture and hurt others? I'm sorry, but I have yet to hear a good reason or a justification for that. They are sociopaths? Well that is a mental disorder, which is what I started off saying when others seemed to get offended. Correct?

 

[Katzndogz]

Is Attention Ho better? ppbbfftt

Oh, and Emily. I did find an article about how BDSM is a way to get away with abusing women. I'm not sure if I want to post it though, because it talks a lot about feminism. I don't REALLY consider myself a feminist as I enjoy my femininity, and I know that women cannot do EVERYTHING that men can do, and vice versa. But the article does make some valid points. Should I post it? I'm sure I'll get attacked as being a feminazi if I do. Lol.

You have free speech, feel free to share.
If anyone responds, we can have a nice conversation.
Floor is yours.

I Dated Christian Grey How Women Are Groomed For Abuse The Mary Sue

Thanks for this article. I think the writer made very clear points about not accepting domineering behavior as the norm, so that anything naturally considerate of others is no longer normal but seen as a sign of something special. while taking women for granted who are expected to be nice and agreeable all the time, and anything less is seen as deficient.

I couldn't believe the times I ran into this.
I would donate rent to help volunteers with nonprofits sharing a duplex for office space.
And when I couldn't pay it any longer I got blamed with demands for "how were they were expected to pay the costs."
And I said why didn't they push that hard and demand help when I was struggling to pay the costs.
Why was my labor taken for granted and yet they weren't expected to work to pay for their volunteer costs.

And the same thing happened when I had worked extra hours to pay for some media work to
cover the community plans for a press conference.

The volunteer I had gone out of my way to pay expenses for in order to free up their time to work on this
complained I was treating them like a slave. I said well I'm paying for this work and cannot afford this.
They claimed they normally charge xyz per hour, and they had worked so many hours and deserved
the thousands of dollars I covered for just a single project that they didn't even finish. the work was lost.
but supposedly this person had put in enough hours to justify covering thousands of dollars of debts I covered.

So then I pointed out that I had worked at less than 15.00 an hour to earn that money minus the taxes I had to pay.
so the hours that I had put into this project to cover the costs were far more than the hours this person had put in.
there was NO comparison.

But those hours didn't count. Once the money "magically came out of nowhere"
then this person swore they earned it by charging their usual rates per hour.

And that is what happens with people who think govt needs to take care of them
because they think they pay for it. they think that any taxes that businesses pay
belong to govt and th epublic, this isn't the business people earning it and having to pay their labor to govt.
they think that is owed to govt and owed to them.

so this becomes the NORM
and anything less is seen as GREED

so that's how they say rich people are greedy and need to pay more taxes to pay their share
because the only way they earned their money was because govt "allowed them to"

and poor people are either blamed or made dependent on govt or both.

so that is like keeping women dependent on men, where that is the norm.
everything is supposed to go through the men, just like people think everything has to be done through govt

you cannot trust people to act independently on their own. very similar setting up these norms to feel safe.

Well, okay, I guess that is KIND OF related. Lol. I am sticking to the topic of BDSM though and it shows, IMO, that it is no different than any other abusive relationship.

Why do you think a person would agree to be abused and actually enjoy the act of being abused by another, whether that be a man, a woman, or even a business partner?

Why do you think a person would enjoy abusing another person and gain some kind of sexual satisfaction from such abuse?

Just because the people involved have found a fancy name and have made abuse into some type of sexual game makes it more acceptable?

I don't find anything normal or healthy about, regardless of any "safe words" or "trust." Plenty of people trust the wrong kinds of people all the time, every day.

And again, what if the "dominant" person in the game cannot find a willing participant? Does his or her proclivity to violence during sex just go away? Do you think a person who enjoys these kinds of activities would need more and more to become satisfied with his or her sex life? Or do you think they reach some kind of plateau and just keep it there?

These are just some of the questions a person should probably ask him or herself before getting involved in such a game. I mean, I really can't even refer to this as a Relationship. Lol.

A dominant has as much right to have what kind of sex they enjoy as anyone else. If a dominant cannot find a willing submissive society has an obligation to satisfy the dominant's sexual desires by increasing the number of submissives. BDSM is normal and desirable. It's glamorized as preferable. Someone who rejects being beaten is a bigot.

 

[ChrisL]

Oh, and Emily. I did find an article about how BDSM is a way to get away with abusing women. I'm not sure if I want to post it though, because it talks a lot about feminism. I don't REALLY consider myself a feminist as I enjoy my femininity, and I know that women cannot do EVERYTHING that men can do, and vice versa. But the article does make some valid points. Should I post it? I'm sure I'll get attacked as being a feminazi if I do. Lol.

You have free speech, feel free to share.
If anyone responds, we can have a nice conversation.
Floor is yours.

I Dated Christian Grey How Women Are Groomed For Abuse The Mary Sue

Thanks for this article. I think the writer made very clear points about not accepting domineering behavior as the norm, so that anything naturally considerate of others is no longer normal but seen as a sign of something special. while taking women for granted who are expected to be nice and agreeable all the time, and anything less is seen as deficient.

I couldn't believe the times I ran into this.
I would donate rent to help volunteers with nonprofits sharing a duplex for office space.
And when I couldn't pay it any longer I got blamed with demands for "how were they were expected to pay the costs."
And I said why didn't they push that hard and demand help when I was struggling to pay the costs.
Why was my labor taken for granted and yet they weren't expected to work to pay for their volunteer costs.

And the same thing happened when I had worked extra hours to pay for some media work to
cover the community plans for a press conference.

The volunteer I had gone out of my way to pay expenses for in order to free up their time to work on this
complained I was treating them like a slave. I said well I'm paying for this work and cannot afford this.
They claimed they normally charge xyz per hour, and they had worked so many hours and deserved
the thousands of dollars I covered for just a single project that they didn't even finish. the work was lost.
but supposedly this person had put in enough hours to justify covering thousands of dollars of debts I covered.

So then I pointed out that I had worked at less than 15.00 an hour to earn that money minus the taxes I had to pay.
so the hours that I had put into this project to cover the costs were far more than the hours this person had put in.
there was NO comparison.

But those hours didn't count. Once the money "magically came out of nowhere"
then this person swore they earned it by charging their usual rates per hour.

And that is what happens with people who think govt needs to take care of them
because they think they pay for it. they think that any taxes that businesses pay
belong to govt and th epublic, this isn't the business people earning it and having to pay their labor to govt.
they think that is owed to govt and owed to them.

so this becomes the NORM
and anything less is seen as GREED

so that's how they say rich people are greedy and need to pay more taxes to pay their share
because the only way they earned their money was because govt "allowed them to"

and poor people are either blamed or made dependent on govt or both.

so that is like keeping women dependent on men, where that is the norm.
everything is supposed to go through the men, just like people think everything has to be done through govt

you cannot trust people to act independently on their own. very similar setting up these norms to feel safe.

Well, okay, I guess that is KIND OF related. Lol. I am sticking to the topic of BDSM though and it shows, IMO, that it is no different than any other abusive relationship.

Why do you think a person would agree to be abused and actually enjoy the act of being abused by another, whether that be a man, a woman, or even a business partner?

Why do you think a person would enjoy abusing another person and gain some kind of sexual satisfaction from such abuse?

Just because the people involved have found a fancy name and have made abuse into some type of sexual game makes it more acceptable?

I don't find anything normal or healthy about, regardless of any "safe words" or "trust." Plenty of people trust the wrong kinds of people all the time, every day.

And again, what if the "dominant" person in the game cannot find a willing participant? Does his or her proclivity to violence during sex just go away? Do you think a person who enjoys these kinds of activities would need more and more to become satisfied with his or her sex life? Or do you think they reach some kind of plateau and just keep it there?

These are just some of the questions a person should probably ask him or herself before getting involved in such a game. I mean, I really can't even refer to this as a Relationship. Lol.

A dominant has as much right to have what kind of sex they enjoy as anyone else. If a dominant cannot find a willing submissive society has an obligation to satisfy the dominant's sexual desires by increasing the number of submissives. BDSM is normal and desirable. It's glamorized as preferable. Someone who rejects being beaten is a bigot.

So it would seem by some posters' angry responses and non answers to any valid questions.

 

[emilynghiem]

You have free speech, feel free to share.
If anyone responds, we can have a nice conversation.
Floor is yours.

I Dated Christian Grey How Women Are Groomed For Abuse The Mary Sue

Thanks for this article. I think the writer made very clear points about not accepting domineering behavior as the norm, so that anything naturally considerate of others is no longer normal but seen as a sign of something special. while taking women for granted who are expected to be nice and agreeable all the time, and anything less is seen as deficient.

I couldn't believe the times I ran into this.
I would donate rent to help volunteers with nonprofits sharing a duplex for office space.
And when I couldn't pay it any longer I got blamed with demands for "how were they were expected to pay the costs."
And I said why didn't they push that hard and demand help when I was struggling to pay the costs.
Why was my labor taken for granted and yet they weren't expected to work to pay for their volunteer costs.

And the same thing happened when I had worked extra hours to pay for some media work to
cover the community plans for a press conference.

The volunteer I had gone out of my way to pay expenses for in order to free up their time to work on this
complained I was treating them like a slave. I said well I'm paying for this work and cannot afford this.
They claimed they normally charge xyz per hour, and they had worked so many hours and deserved
the thousands of dollars I covered for just a single project that they didn't even finish. the work was lost.
but supposedly this person had put in enough hours to justify covering thousands of dollars of debts I covered.

So then I pointed out that I had worked at less than 15.00 an hour to earn that money minus the taxes I had to pay.
so the hours that I had put into this project to cover the costs were far more than the hours this person had put in.
there was NO comparison.

But those hours didn't count. Once the money "magically came out of nowhere"
then this person swore they earned it by charging their usual rates per hour.

And that is what happens with people who think govt needs to take care of them
because they think they pay for it. they think that any taxes that businesses pay
belong to govt and th epublic, this isn't the business people earning it and having to pay their labor to govt.
they think that is owed to govt and owed to them.

so this becomes the NORM
and anything less is seen as GREED

so that's how they say rich people are greedy and need to pay more taxes to pay their share
because the only way they earned their money was because govt "allowed them to"

and poor people are either blamed or made dependent on govt or both.

so that is like keeping women dependent on men, where that is the norm.
everything is supposed to go through the men, just like people think everything has to be done through govt

you cannot trust people to act independently on their own. very similar setting up these norms to feel safe.

Well, okay, I guess that is KIND OF related. Lol. I am sticking to the topic of BDSM though and it shows, IMO, that it is no different than any other abusive relationship.

Why do you think a person would agree to be abused and actually enjoy the act of being abused by another, whether that be a man, a woman, or even a business partner?

Why do you think a person would enjoy abusing another person and gain some kind of sexual satisfaction from such abuse?

Just because the people involved have found a fancy name and have made abuse into some type of sexual game makes it more acceptable?

I don't find anything normal or healthy about, regardless of any "safe words" or "trust." Plenty of people trust the wrong kinds of people all the time, every day.

And again, what if the "dominant" person in the game cannot find a willing participant? Does his or her proclivity to violence during sex just go away? Do you think a person who enjoys these kinds of activities would need more and more to become satisfied with his or her sex life? Or do you think they reach some kind of plateau and just keep it there?

These are just some of the questions a person should probably ask him or herself before getting involved in such a game. I mean, I really can't even refer to this as a Relationship. Lol.

Hi ChrisL

1. individually
I know with some people, their brain chemistry is different. One person who tried to explain to me why he needed to do RISKY behavior was he didn't feel the same stimulation other people feel naturally. It took things like driving fast, or bungee jumping, etc. to even boost the brain up to the level people have naturally from regular stimulations and interactions.

If you look up books on sociopathy, this is being studied as just how brains are different and don't respond as much to social interaction, empathy for others, etc. So the need for stimulation can be triggered by doing excessive things.

It's one thing to stimulate yourself in ways that only affect you. What becomes criminal is when people only get stimulation, or in extreme cases relief from an addiction, from torturing other people to get a reaction out of them they can "feel."

That is one factor.

2. between partners
Another approach to understanding this is some people are naturally more dominant or submissive in relations.
So what happens if people go to extremes with these extremes? Then they need partners who either meet their natural inclinations or balance them out. So you end up with people seeking others who fall into certain roles that complement each other.

3. spiritually or collectively
Now, as for spiritually what is going on, if you believe people are trying to restore balance between male and female energies collectively, this could all be some serious karma working itself out. Who knows WHERE this came from or where it's going, but the point is to heal and resolve old things and not let them repeat. So if this is leftover karma from the past, maybe it's just working itself through like slaves who were beaten or raped by masters, and now this is the reverse karma.
However, if it is not out of forgiveness and resolution of the past, but is projected guilt that is just going in circles that isn't healing anything but perpetuating the sickness to go on and on.

That's why I'd make sure people are truly spiritual healed of past issues/karma so this isn't a projection in vicious cycle, but really is a natural expression to get this energy out of the system, wherever it may have come from, and release it permanently.

I have even proposed that if people WANT to do these things, what if they only get pleasure from KILLING someone,
why not set it up where they can. So if people AGREE they committed a capital offense and AGREE to the death penalty.
Or they AGREE they tortured people and AGREE to be tortured, then let these people do the job instead of judging them for it.

I met someone who swears her fantasy is to do the bondage torture rape stuff, and everyone kids her and says she is fake.
But what if someone did AGREE they deserved that for what they did to other people. Why not let her come in and perform her fantasy on this person?

Because that is not how we do things in our society. What of the person who wants to torture and hurt others? I'm sorry, but I have yet to hear a good reason or a justification for that. They are sociopaths? Well that is a mental disorder, which is what I started off saying when others seemed to get offended. Correct?

Sociopath is not enough to distinguish the criminal factor.
There are many sociopaths who are not criminal, but use their objective minds
to make astute business decisions without emotional distractions that other people have.
Some learn to use their different mindsets in productive ways that cause no harm.

There is something else that determines if people will cause harm to themselves or others.
I think studies on this will prove that factor is whether we are forgiving or not. If we don't forgive and fully heal, we project our emotions onto other people and cause emotional abuse. Because this is so commonplace, it becomes hypocritical to judge who is abusive if everyone bullies and overrides the consent of others, out of defense.

We cannot even isolate this factor if we go around teaching it is normal to hate and fear
and not to forgive. The challenge is to reform society where everyone else agrees to
consistent norms of respecting the consent and beliefs of others, and then the people who are
truly sick will stand out. We can't do that right now if EVERYONE is bullying and judging
people emotionally. If we resolve those issues that can be resolved, it will become more
clear which people cannot resolve their issues. Instead of hiding behind everyone else.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

Ah, she's simply an attention whore.

I have no patience for those.

Disir I understand that you have no patience for those,
but ChrisL is not one.

Very passionate, and honest enough to say what's going on her side.
Trying to resolve this openly. some projection going on, mutually,
but that's not the point of the conversation but a side effect of it.

Pfftt......she's an attention whore.

So, I put her on ignore.

Call it Sadism light.

Lol.

Why We Need To Rethink The Attention Whore Label Emma Gray

Nova contends that our envy of other women and our lack of understanding for people who are different from us is part of what drives us to assign someone the label. She admits that her conservative Christian upbringing drove her to ridicule women who didn't fit that mold. "Basically, I learned that shaming those who craved attention and acted on their impulses was a necessary part of upholding my self-esteem as a woman, and the wider the distinction between myself and them, the better," she admitted.

Is Attention Ho better? ppbbfftt

Oh, and Emily. I did find an article about how BDSM is a way to get away with abusing women. I'm not sure if I want to post it though, because it talks a lot about feminism. I don't REALLY consider myself a feminist as I enjoy my femininity, and I know that women cannot do EVERYTHING that men can do, and vice versa. But the article does make some valid points. Should I post it? I'm sure I'll get attacked as being a feminazi if I do. Lol.

If you wanna get away with abusing women become a Christian.

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