Refusing to Support Unwed Mother…

[Anathema]

My wife and found out earlier this week that our eldest (18) niece is pregnant for the second time in the last six months. Our niece lost the first baby within weeks. This time she’s at 13 weeks and everything appears normal.

Neither our niece nor her line-in (with her mother) boyfriend have a job. She will be graduating high school in a couple months and her 20 year old boyfriend is a high school grad. He was supposed to be working at his dad’s used car lot but he screwed that up. They have no income other than his SNAP benefits.

My wife and I as well as my in-laws have told this niece that she will not be receiving assistance from us during this pregnancy or after the child is born. Especially after her first pregnancy issue last fall. No money. No baby shower gifts. Nothing. She got herself into this mess, sheccan get herself out of it.

Are we wrong in doing this?

 

[White 6]

My wife and found out earlier this week that our eldest (18) niece is pregnant for the second time in the last six months. Our niece lost the first baby within weeks. This time she’s at 13 weeks and everything appears normal.

Neither our niece nor her line-in (with her mother) boyfriend have a job. She will be graduating high school in a couple months and her 20 year old boyfriend is a high school grad. He was supposed to be working at his dad’s used car lot but he screwed that up. They have no income other than his SNAP benefits.

My wife and I as well as my in-laws have told this niece that she will not be receiving assistance from us during this pregnancy or after the child is born. Especially after her first pregnancy issue last fall. No money. No baby shower gifts. Nothing. She got herself into this mess, sheccan get herself out of it.

Are we wrong in doing this?

No.

 

[rampart]

My wife and found out earlier this week that our eldest (18) niece is pregnant for the second time in the last six months. Our niece lost the first baby within weeks. This time she’s at 13 weeks and everything appears normal.

Neither our niece nor her line-in (with her mother) boyfriend have a job. She will be graduating high school in a couple months and her 20 year old boyfriend is a high school grad. He was supposed to be working at his dad’s used car lot but he screwed that up. They have no income other than his SNAP benefits.

My wife and I as well as my in-laws have told this niece that she will not be receiving assistance from us during this pregnancy or after the child is born. Especially after her first pregnancy issue last fall. No money. No baby shower gifts. Nothing. She got herself into this mess, sheccan get herself out of it.

Are we wrong in doing this?

not the kid's fault, and he is your family.

 

[Zincwarrior]

Who is taking care of your sister/sister in law currently?

 

[Vastator]

My wife and found out earlier this week that our eldest (18) niece is pregnant for the second time in the last six months. Our niece lost the first baby within weeks. This time she’s at 13 weeks and everything appears normal.

Neither our niece nor her line-in (with her mother) boyfriend have a job. She will be graduating high school in a couple months and her 20 year old boyfriend is a high school grad. He was supposed to be working at his dad’s used car lot but he screwed that up. They have no income other than his SNAP benefits.

My wife and I as well as my in-laws have told this niece that she will not be receiving assistance from us during this pregnancy or after the child is born. Especially after her first pregnancy issue last fall. No money. No baby shower gifts. Nothing. She got herself into this mess, sheccan get herself out of it.

Are we wrong in doing this?

Your money, your family, your call...

 

[MarathonMike]

That will probably change once the baby arrives, especially if the boy takes off. Sounds like a mess that happens all too often.

 

[Anathema]

Who is taking care of your sister/sister in law currently?

Nadya (our niece) and her boyfriend are currently living with Nadya’s mother, Stephanie; Stephanie’s husband and Stephanie’s other 3 kids (age 12-16). Nobody in that house has, or wants, a job. They rely totally on government assistance.

 

[marvin martian]

My wife and found out earlier this week that our eldest (18) niece is pregnant for the second time in the last six months. Our niece lost the first baby within weeks. This time she’s at 13 weeks and everything appears normal.

Neither our niece nor her line-in (with her mother) boyfriend have a job. She will be graduating high school in a couple months and her 20 year old boyfriend is a high school grad. He was supposed to be working at his dad’s used car lot but he screwed that up. They have no income other than his SNAP benefits.

My wife and I as well as my in-laws have told this niece that she will not be receiving assistance from us during this pregnancy or after the child is born. Especially after her first pregnancy issue last fall. No money. No baby shower gifts. Nothing. She got herself into this mess, sheccan get herself out of it.

Are we wrong in doing this?

I understand your frustration, but don't let the child suffer because of the parents' mistakes. Has she considered adoption?

 

[Anathema]

That will probably change once the baby arrives, especially if the boy takes off

We will see. I’m definitely not providing them with anything. I think the guy might hang around, but either way, my in-laws can barely support themselves at this point, so I doubt they will be able to do much.

 

[bodecea]

We will see. I’m definitely not providing them with anything. I think the guy might hang around, but either way, my in-laws can barely support themselves at this point, so I doubt they will be able to do much.

Have they asked you for any assistance?

 

[Rawley]

My wife and found out earlier this week that our eldest (18) niece is pregnant for the second time in the last six months. Our niece lost the first baby within weeks. This time she’s at 13 weeks and everything appears normal.

Neither our niece nor her line-in (with her mother) boyfriend have a job. She will be graduating high school in a couple months and her 20 year old boyfriend is a high school grad. He was supposed to be working at his dad’s used car lot but he screwed that up. They have no income other than his SNAP benefits.

My wife and I as well as my in-laws have told this niece that she will not be receiving assistance from us during this pregnancy or after the child is born. Especially after her first pregnancy issue last fall. No money. No baby shower gifts. Nothing. She got herself into this mess, sheccan get herself out of it.

Are we wrong in doing this?

tough call

 

[Anathema]

I understand your frustration, but don't let the child suffer because of the parents' mistakes. Has she considered adoption?

She won’t even consider it. Apparently she told my wife back in December that this is exactly what she and her boyfriend were trying for.

My wife told her that was a bad idea and reminded her that this is how Nadya’s own mother got into her troubles two decades ago.

 

[Anathema]

Have they asked you for any assistance?

We get dramatic phone/video calls from thst house on an every two to three day basis about having no food, no toilet paper, missing a bill payment, etc…

During the first , we were getting daily requests for assistance with this or that.

 

[Zincwarrior]

Nadya (our niece) and her boyfriend are currently living with Nadya’s mother, Stephanie; Stephanie’s husband and Stephanie’s other 3 kids (age 12-16). Nobody in that house has, or wants, a job. They rely totally on government assistance.

Thats a sucky situation indeed. Her entire environment and culture are like that, so chances she will attempt to break out of it are low.

If drugs or such appear are you ok with taking the baby yourself? I would imagine chances are not low.

 

[bodecea]

We get dramatic phone/video calls from thst house on an every two to three day basis about having no food, no toilet paper, missing a bill payment, etc…

During the first , we were getting daily requests for assistance with this or that.

Block them then.

 

[Anathema]

Thats a sucky situation indeed. Her entire environment and culture are like that, so chances she will attempt to break out of it are low.

If drugs or such appear are you ok with taking the baby yourself? I would imagine chances are not low

Unfortunately we are not capable… due to space and finances, to take Nadya or the baby in.

 

[Zincwarrior]

Unfortunately we are not capable… due to space and finances, to take Nadya or the baby in.

I understand. You are in a hard situation. Peace be with you.

 

[Anathema]

Block them then

My father in law, brother in law and I have done that. My wife and mother in law refuse to block that household out.

 

[Jarlaxle]

Thats a sucky situation indeed. Her entire environment and culture are like that, so chances she will attempt to break out of it are low.

If drugs or such appear are you ok with taking the baby yourself? I would imagine chances are not low.

Better to abort.

 

[Resnic]

My wife and found out earlier this week that our eldest (18) niece is pregnant for the second time in the last six months. Our niece lost the first baby within weeks. This time she’s at 13 weeks and everything appears normal.

Neither our niece nor her line-in (with her mother) boyfriend have a job. She will be graduating high school in a couple months and her 20 year old boyfriend is a high school grad. He was supposed to be working at his dad’s used car lot but he screwed that up. They have no income other than his SNAP benefits.

My wife and I as well as my in-laws have told this niece that she will not be receiving assistance from us during this pregnancy or after the child is born. Especially after her first pregnancy issue last fall. No money. No baby shower gifts. Nothing. She got herself into this mess, sheccan get herself out of it.

Are we wrong in doing this?

Absolutely you are not wrong.

Sadly our society should be taking this stance because things are getting out of hand. A lot of people will suffer and a lot of children will suffer, but at some point our society needs to put it's foot down and push morals, values, standards, pride, strength, intelligence and responsibility on all people. It would suck for a while but the end result is years down the line our entire society becomes better off.

Some people need help. They make mistakes, accidents happen, and so on. But when people keep making the same mistakes, they aren't trying to do better and so on then you need to let them go. The issue is cases like your niece are happening in greater and greater and greater numbers.