The Rise of Lonely, Single Men

[Unkotare]

Grew up faster than you.

...

Apparently not.

 

[Unkotare]

We've got more than a few of these on this site. The problem is supposedly grown men who avoid any and all vestiges of adult manhood. They would rather squander their lives avoiding the responsibilities of being a grown man. How many "men" here have boasted about never getting married, having children, etc.? The same leftist forces that have been working hard for decades to undermine family, faith, and tradition have pushed the message that never growing up is "cool." It isn't. These self-centered weaklings are pathetic.

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[Blues Man]

Apparently not.

Obviously apparent.

Having children is not any indication of maturity and you are living proof of that.

 

[Unkotare]

.

We've got more than a few of these on this site. The problem is supposedly grown men who avoid any and all vestiges of adult manhood. They would rather squander their lives avoiding the responsibilities of being a grown man. How many "men" here have boasted about never getting married, having children, etc.? The same leftist forces that have been working hard for decades to undermine family, faith, and tradition have pushed the message that never growing up is "cool." It isn't. These self-centered weaklings are pathetic.

.

 

[Canon Shooter]

Such a weird thing.

When I was a kid, we didn't have the internet or video games to keep us occupied. We went outside and played with our friends. We went places, whether it was down to the local diner or to the movies. We weren't "forced" to meet people, but it was an inevitable by-product of growing up the way we did.

Kids today get apoplectic if they can't play their video games online with their friends. A friend of mine grounded her son and didn't permit him to play his video games for two weeks. The kid was a basket case.

I literally met my smokin' hot Puerto Rican girlfriend in the produce area in Publix. I thought she was stunning, so I walked up to where she was and made the comment that I'd always wanted to meet a pretty girl in the produce aisle. She laughed and said "Well, I'm glad that I was able to help you with that." She didn't come across as smug or conceited, but as remarkably confident. I just can't imagine that you'd ever be able to get a sense for in a dating app. We've been together almost ten years.

I think single guys would be in far better shape if they put down their goddamn phones down, got off the computer and went grocery shopping...

 

[Blues Man]

Such a weird thing.

When I was a kid, we didn't have the internet or video games to keep us occupied. We went outside and played with our friends. We went places, whether it was down to the local diner or to the movies. We weren't "forced" to meet people, but it was an inevitable by-product of growing up the way we did.

Kids today get apoplectic if they can't play their video games online with their friends. A friend of mine grounded her son and didn't permit him to play his video games for two weeks. The kid was a basket case.

I literally met my smokin' hot Puerto Rican girlfriend in the produce area in Publix. I thought she was stunning, so I walked up to where she was and made the comment that I'd always wanted to meet a pretty girl in the produce aisle. She laughed and said "Well, I'm glad that I was able to help you with that." She didn't come across as smug or conceited, but as remarkably confident. I just can't imagine that you'd ever be able to get a sense for in a dating app. We've been together almost ten years.

I think single guys would be in far better shape if they put down their goddamn phones down, got off the computer and went grocery shopping...

Exactly.

That people think they can cultivate relationships sitting on their asses in from of TV or a video game and not have to actually be face to face with people is the problem

 

[initforme]

Exactly.

That people think they can cultivate relationships sitting on their asses in from of TV or a video game and not have to actually be face to face with people is the problem

I don't see a "problem" in the whole scenario. Just a shift. Many are happier without the ties of a relationship. In our church we have several young, working, eligiblemales as well as females. They are happy being single. The one I know is a fishing guide and he said a woman would be a waste of his time because he's gone all the time. He's married to his boat. He's as happy as anyone.

 

[Vastator]

From my observations, even experiences,


1. Agree the risk to reward balance is bad for marriage from a male perspective.

2. But men are not, generally happy to be alone. or "Lone". Especially as they age and they find they don't have a family or their family fell apart for some reason. Yes, they have lives, but their lives are less then they could or SHOULD be.

3. AND, there are implications and effects on SOCIETY, that make this a valid political issue for discussion and policy. IMO.

Men fare far, far better at maintaining happiness while being alone, than women do. And not all of todays guys plan on being alone forever. A growing portion of these young men, are hip to the game. Marriage in the west is a categorically bad contract for a man. Men today know that. They’ve seen it with their own eyes. Fathers, uncles, cousins, friends, co-workers even themselves have seen how the system plays out for men. It doesn’t mean they are going to quit playing the game. It’s just that more, and more men are choosing the play the game elsewhere.
Working on themselves, building a foundation of career, experience, and wealth (which all men should do before marriage to begin with); then taking their family building aspirations abroad where women still value being the classic traditional woman. I have 5 friends who have done this. 2 moved to Thailand, and took their wealth with them, married beautiful, grateful, happy Thai women, and have started their own families there. Not bad for being 38, and 42 years old. Same goes for 3 friends who went the expat route in the Philippines. Each of them say it was one of the best decisions they’ve ever made in their lives.
They built themselves, and their fortunes, took advantage of opportunities todays women offered here the US while doing it. (At the rate modern women literally give pussy away for nothing, prostitution is going to become extinct.) And once they reached their goals, they left the States behind, Left Feminism behind, left the barbaric, predatory marriage, and family courts behind. Took their wealth with them, and have never been happier.
They did also leave another thing behind. The women who were instrumental in making the system, and culture what is today. And they haven missed it yet.

 

[Blues Man]

I don't see a "problem" in the whole scenario. Just a shift. Many are happier without the ties of a relationship. In our church we have several young, working, eligiblemales as well as females. They are happy being single. The one I know is a fishing guide and he said a woman would be a waste of his time because he's gone all the time. He's married to his boat. He's as happy as anyone.

If he found a nice girl that loves fishing as much as he does I bet he'd be even happier

 

[Canon Shooter]

You really don't believe that do you?

I have a buddy who's 66 years old. He owned a large landscaping company in San Diego. When he got out of the Navy in 1981 he went back to Michigan to work at the nursery owned by his parents. He went to night school (there were no online course back then) to learn about... whatever the Hell it is landscapers need to learn about.

He moved back to San Diego and started his business with a Ford Ranger pick-up that had a lawnmower in the bed. His business grew expoentiallyto the point where he had the landscaping contracts for every Denny's restaurant in San Diego County and several hotels along the waterfront. What started out as a one-man show ended up employing over 60 people.

He sold that business and retired a little over two years ago.

Jimmy never married, although he's been close twice. He's got no kids, but is the best uncle possible to his nieces and nephews. He's generous to a fault with his family and friends. He's a self-made millionaire who lives life on his terms. He was given nothing growing up, and has worked hard for everything he has.

I don't see how someone could look at him and conclude that he's less of a man than someone else just because he never had kids...

 

[Unkotare]

I don't see a "problem" in the whole scenario. Just a shift. Many are happier without the ties of a relationship. In our church we have several young, working, eligiblemales as well as females. They are happy being single. The one I know is a fishing guide and he said a woman would be a waste of his time because he's gone all the time. He's married to his boat. He's as happy as anyone.

NO, he isn't.

 

[Correll]

No

So, why did you say it?

you just defend their misogynism

Nope. I didn't do that either.

And the thing you don't seem to get is that relationships do not involve large populations of people.

Sure I do. But that does not mean that we cannot discuss large numbers of people and their relationships and discuss issues about or with or relating to them.

Every individual is responsible for their own relationships.

When these individuals start blaming other people for their lack of a relationship then we as a society have a problem.

Depends what you mean by "other people". If by that, you are discussing the most extreme cases who push the idea that women, or some women "owe them sex" for some reason, sure, that's a problem.


But, if it is something more reasonable like, " lying feminists are filling women's head with stupid and selfish ideas, that are undermining the whole concept of healthy relationships", then discussing that is not only ok, but a good idea.

 

[Blues Man]

So, why did you say it?



Nope. I didn't do that either.




Sure I do. But that does not mean that we cannot discuss large numbers of people and their relationships and discuss issues about or with or relating to them.





Depends what you mean by "other people". If by that, you are discussing the most extreme cases who push the idea that women, or some women "owe them sex" for some reason, sure, that's a problem.


But, if it is something more reasonable like, " lying feminists are filling women's head with stupid and selfish ideas, that are undermining the whole concept of healthy relationships", then discussing that is not only ok, but a good idea.

See you blame the feminists as being man hating harpies

 

[Correll]

I have a buddy who's 66 years old. He owned a large landscaping company in San Diego. When he got out of the Navy in 1981 he went back to Michigan to work at the nursery owned by his parents. He went to night school (there were no online course back then) to learn about... whatever the Hell it is landscapers need to learn about.

He moved back to San Diego and started his business with a Ford Ranger pick-up that had a lawnmower in the bed. His business grew expoentiallyto the point where he had the landscaping contracts for every Denny's restaurant in San Diego County and several hotels along the waterfront. What started out as a one-man show ended up employing over 60 people.

He sold that business and retired a little over two years ago.

Jimmy never married, although he's been close twice. He's got no kids, but is the best uncle possible to his nieces and nephews. He's generous to a fault with his family and friends. He's a self-made millionaire who lives life on his terms. He was given nothing growing up, and has worked hard for everything he has.

I don't see how someone could look at him and conclude that he's less of a man than someone else just because he never had kids...

Might be interesting to discuss why women didn't look at that guy and find him very attractive.

 

[Correll]

See you blame the feminists as being man hating harpies

Many of them are. And the ideas they spread, have impact on people. Specifically in this case, young women.


Do you disagree?

 

[Blues Man]

Many of them are. And the ideas they spread, have impact on people. Specifically in this case, young women.


Do you disagree?

Yup there you go.

You are living a self fulfilling prophecy so you might as well just accept it and stop whining.

I have never had any problem meeting women I liked and respected and I was pathologically shy as a young adult.

 

[initforme]

If he found a nice girl that loves fishing as much as he does I bet he'd be even happier

Yep. But he is 31 and has not dated since high school

 

[Blues Man]

Yep. But he is 31 and has not dated since high school

He's still young then.

He might very well decide to look for a relationship later.

I wasn't in a serious relationship until my late 30s and i had no plans of getting married but I met a great girl.

 

[initforme]

Many of them are. And the ideas they spread, have impact on people. Specifically in this case, young women.


Do you disagree?

Bottom line is that it is ok not to get married and have kids. Many young people don't need this. It's a choice not a responsibility. That's the way things should be.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

I don't see a "problem" in the whole scenario. Just a shift. Many are happier without the ties of a relationship. In our church we have several young, working, eligiblemales as well as females. They are happy being single. The one I know is a fishing guide and he said a woman would be a waste of his time because he's gone all the time. He's married to his boat. He's as happy as anyone.

You don't know that.
As young men, I absolutely guarantee you at the VERY least half of them are engaged in the filthiest of pornography and online "sex". Like all vices, use of pornography grows and mutates as the person becomes bored with "regular porn"... and they continue to seek out something different. And none of them are healthy.