The Rise of Lonely, Single Men

[Correll]

I doubt that.

Why?

 

[Blues Man]

Why?

Because if a man or anyone else thinks that no woman is worth his time then he is the one with the problem

 

[Anathema]

I doubt that.

Maybe not for the gamer-freaks, but definitely for a large percentage of the young single guys I know (educated, employed, emotionally stable); they say there are few worthwhile women out there these days.

 

[Unkotare]

Yes we know you are pathetic you don't have to sign your posts with it.

And real men have integrity, you don't.

??????

 

[Blues Man]

??????

Figure it out

 

[BasicHumanUnit]

ounger and middle-aged men are the loneliest they’ve been in generations, and it’s probably going to get worse.

This is not my typical rosy view of relationships but a reality nonetheless. Over the last 30 years, men have become a larger portion of that growing group of long-term single people. And while you don’t actually need to be in a relationship to be happy, men typically are happier and healthier when partnered.


Here are three broad trends in the relationship landscape that suggest heterosexual men are in for a rough road ahead:

• Dating Apps. Whether you’re just starting to date or you’re recently divorced and dating again, dating apps are a huge driver of new romantic connections in the United States. The only problem is that upwards of 62% of users are men and many women are overwhelmed by the number of options they have. Competition in online dating is fierce, and lucky in-person chance encounters with dreamy partners are rarer than ever.
• Relationship Standards. With so many options, it’s not surprising that women are increasingly selective. I do a live TikTok show (@abetterloveproject) and speak with hundreds of audience members every week; I hear recurring dating themes from women between the ages of 25 and 45: They prefer men who are emotionally available, who are good communicators, and who share their values.
• Skills Deficits. For men, this means a relationship skills gap that, if not addressed, will likely lead to fewer dating opportunities and longer periods of being single. There's less patience for poor communication skills today. The problem for men is that emotional connection is the lifeblood of healthy, long-term love and it requires all the skills that families still are not consistently teaching young boys.

While there’s probably no chance of stemming the rising tide of unintentional single men, there is some good news.

The algorithms are becoming increasingly more complex on dating apps and other online platforms. One result is that great matches are on the rise. One dating app, Hinge, found through beta trials that 90% of users rated their first date positively, with 72% indicating that they wanted a second date.


How can men reap the benefit of the algorithms? Level up your mental health game. That means getting into some individual therapy to address your skills gap. It means valuing your own internal world and respecting your ideas enough to communicate them effectively. It means seeing intimacy, romance, and emotional connection as worthy of your time and effort.


Ultimately, we have an opportunity to revolutionize romantic relationships and establish new, healthier norms starting with the first date. It’s likely that some of these romances will be transformative and healing, disrupting generational trauma and establishing a fresh culture of admiration and validation.


Men have a key role in this transformation but only if they go all-in. It’s going to take that kind of commitment to themselves, to their mental health, and to the kind of love they want to generate in the world. Will we step up?

The Rise of Lonely, Single Men

Damn, talk about a snake-oil salesman.

It's only WHITE men / boys.
Brown and Black men are having the times of their lives.
Inundated with choices.
Most women prefer strength in a man.

 

[Correll]

Because if a man or anyone else thinks that no woman is worth his time then he is the one with the problem

He did not say "none", he said "fewer".


The spread of bad ideas, such as feminism or cancel cultural radicalization, can certainly take a portion of the population and change it so it contains fewer and fewer attractive potential spouses. Or culture can change so that the way women and men are expected to interact, can be less rewarding for the men. Or both.


And, imo, that has happened.

 

[Correll]

It's only WHITE men / boys.
Brown and Black men are having the times of the lives.
Inundated with choices.

Somewhat. THey are not expected to conform to societial norms to the same level white men are.


BUT, they are just as open to being fucked by child support or divorce, or bitter mothers not letting them see their children, for some examples.

 

[Blues Man]

He did not say "none", he said "fewer".


The spread of bad ideas, such as feminism or cancel cultural radicalization, can certainly take a portion of the population and change it so it contains fewer and fewer attractive potential spouses. Or culture can change so that the way women and men are expected to interact, can be less rewarding for the men. Or both.


And, imo, that has happened.

Broad brushism

 

[Correll]

Broad brushism

Correct. We are after all, discussing a massive group of people, ie all potential female mates.


Discussing over a hundred million women, individually, is not possible.


Not in a timely fashion anyways. I have to work in a few hours. And I'll probably die of old age in 30 or 40 years.

 

[Blues Man]

Correct. We are after all, discussing a massive group of people, ie all potential female mates.


Discussing over a hundred million women, individually, is not possible.


Not in a timely fashion anyways. I have to work in a few hours. And I'll probably die of old age in 30 or 40 years.

OH that's right you're the guy who think incels have a valid claim that all women owe them sexual favors.

 

[Unkotare]

Yes you are pathetic.

No one has to have children if they don't want to.

Yes, little boys don't have to grow up. Over the past several decades the left has promoted that "lifestyle." The weakest among us have accepted that message.

 

[Blues Man]

Yes, little boys don't have to grow up. Over the past several decades the left has promoted that "lifestyle." The weakest among us have accepted that message.

Some of us actually grew up faster than others.

 

[Correll]

OH that's right you're the guy who think incels have a valid claim that all women owe them sexual favors.

Nope. I never said anything like that. I'm not sure why you keep insisting that I said that.


Do you want to discuss large groups of people, without generalizions? Can you teach me how?

 

[Blues Man]

Nope. I never said anything like that. I'm not sure why you keep insisting that I said that.


Do you want to discuss large groups of people, without generalizions? Can you teach me how?

No you just defend their misogynism

And the thing you don't seem to get is that relationships do not involve large populations of people.

Every individual is responsible for their own relationships.

When these individuals start blaming other people for their lack of a relationship then we as a society have a problem.

 

[Unkotare]

Some of us actually grew up faster than others.

Apparently not.

 

[Blues Man]

Apparently not.

I was an emancipated minor at 17 while your mommy was still making your lunches and doing your laundry

 

[iamwhatiseem]

When these individuals start blaming other people for their lack of a relationship then we as a society have a problem.

That began at least 30 years ago. (blaming one's shortcomings on others en masse)
And society definitely has major problems.
This is only one of them.

 

[Unkotare]

I was an emancipated minor at 17...

Who never grew up.

 

[Blues Man]

Who never grew up.

Grew up faster than you.

Having children in no way implies maturity

you are proof of that