Adoption

[Asclepias]

As expected, the insidious germ of racial division has crept into this thread.

How do you rationalize this post when you specifically mentioned African American in your OP? Maybe you should have left the racial aspect out of it?

 

[Asclepias]

The facts are that most white people cannot prepare a Black child for what they are going to experience in this society. They simply have no frame of reference. What a black couple knows simply through experience a white couple would have to take the equivalent of the hours needed to obtain a BA or BS or more and still not be able to cover everything. However, if a Black couple cannot be found then the child should go to the next qualified adoptive parent. I agree with Penny(!) that it should be as close culturally to the child's reality as possible. A foster home can be a great place but I think the status of being adopted as opposed to being fostered is significant to these kids. Using horror stories about foster, adoptive, and biological parents is not fair as all have their issues. These social workers are educated in their field and they know this reality. If they are picking foster homes over adoptive homes then they are to be trusted as they know whats best for the child.

What a bunch of bull.

I detect more than a hint of emotion backed up by nothing but empty air. What is it that is bull? Are you know going to say you know what the reality is for a Black child growing up in this society?

 

[Asclepias]

The facts are that most white people cannot prepare a Black child for what they are going to experience in this society. They simply have no frame of reference. What a black couple knows simply through experience a white couple would have to take the equivalent of the hours needed to obtain a BA or BS or more and still not be able to cover everything. However, if a Black couple cannot be found then the child should go to the next qualified adoptive parent. I agree with Penny(!) that it should be as close culturally to the child's reality as possible. A foster home can be a great place but I think the status of being adopted as opposed to being fostered is significant to these kids. Using horror stories about foster, adoptive, and biological parents is not fair as all have their issues. These social workers are educated in their field and they know this reality. If they are picking foster homes over adoptive homes then they are to be trusted as they know whats best for the child.

oh bull shit.... being loved and cared for by adoptive parents is better then staying in foster care. I dont care what color the parents or children are.


do you see something wrong with a black couple adopting a white child?

Another emotive response but at least you qualified it. You cant say that is case all the time and that is where the social workers discretion comes in. My wife works with an organization in her spare time that helps foster parents. Some of those people are truly saints. You cannot say that it is always better for them to be adopted as sometimes people regret adopting kids and end up abusing them.

I never said it was wrong for a white couple to adopt a black child. I said that a Black couple would be a better match all things being equal. I think in our society it is much easier for a Black couple to raise a white child than vice versa.

I had a white guy I played ball with that hung around nothing but Black people. He was complaining to me that no one would want to hire him because he was so "hood". I explained to him that if he took the dreads out of his hair, shaved and put on a suit no one would be the wiser. He was smart so he ended up being a stock broker.

 

[Noomi]

It just came up on another thread that some African American social workers are opposed to interracial adoption. It was suggested they'd rather black children stay in foster homes than be adopted by white couples.

I was wondering - without prejudice aforethought - how African American USMB members feel about the issue.


Of course, it is an interesting question for any of our members of any 'race.' The question can be imagined for any combination of would-be parents and children up for adoption.

Ask the white folk here as well - would they prefer to adopt a white child, or a black child, or wouldn't it matter? I think you'd find that many people would prefer a child with the same color skin.

I wouldn't care. A child is a child, after all.

 

[JakeStarkey]

The facts are that most white people cannot prepare a Black child for what they are going to experience in this society. They simply have no frame of reference. What a black couple knows simply through experience a white couple would have to take the equivalent of the hours needed to obtain a BA or BS or more and still not be able to cover everything. However, if a Black couple cannot be found then the child should go to the next qualified adoptive parent. I agree with Penny(!) that it should be as close culturally to the child's reality as possible. A foster home can be a great place but I think the status of being adopted as opposed to being fostered is significant to these kids. Using horror stories about foster, adoptive, and biological parents is not fair as all have their issues. These social workers are educated in their field and they know this reality. If they are picking foster homes over adoptive homes then they are to be trusted as they know whats best for the child.

I agree with you and Penny.

 

[Asclepias]

and here is another FACT....

Why arent the black people who could "prepare adoptive children as black" not adopting them?

how may adoptive children do obamas have?
jessie jackson?
all sharpton?
oprah?
micheal jackson?


is there something wrong with single white mothers ..... being mothers to their half black children? Should white women be prohibited from having black children becasue they can bring up their black children.... black enough?

i also dont see that barry had any problems connecting with his blackness..... or suffering in any way not being brought up black enough by his white mother.



Loving parenting is NOT about preparing you to be a color. It is about bringing a child they love up to be a good, hopefully successful. happy person.

Probably because they don't want to adopt any children? I didnt realize you had to adopt children if you were well off financially. Why are there still white kids up for adoption? Shouldnt some wealthy white people adopt all of them?

Why would there be something wrong with white mothers that have children that are half Black? If they had the child with a Black guy chances are they are a little more knowledgeable about Black culture than one never having been involved with a Black guy. They have resources such as the child's Black grandparents, uncles, and aunts to assist as well. Also a white women with a mixed child has one important thing going for her. Its her child.

If you notice the POTUS married a Black woman. Anything he missed out on regarding Black culture is being provided by his wife.

You are correct. Being a loving parent is not about a color but it is about providing that child the best tools to deal with life. Unfortunately people that pretend life for a Black person is just like life for a white person is not dealing in reality.

 

[syrenn]

I see nothing wrong with interracial adoptions, provided it is in the best interest of the child. For instance, if the child has to choose between a foster home or a caring family of a different race, hands down the child should be placed with the caring family.

We already have interracial adoptions from overseas countries, and for the most part there are no issues, otherwise the process would have been discontinued. We also have interracial marriage, and children in those families are doing fine, so I don't see why interracial adoption would be an issue.

I have issues with any overseas adoptions.....

until every last child in this country has been adopted.... none should be allowed from overseas.

 

[syrenn]

and here is another FACT....

Why arent the black people who could "prepare adoptive children as black" not adopting them?

how may adoptive children do obamas have?
jessie jackson?
all sharpton?
oprah?
micheal jackson?


is there something wrong with single white mothers ..... being mothers to their half black children? Should white women be prohibited from having black children becasue they can bring up their black children.... black enough?

i also dont see that barry had any problems connecting with his blackness..... or suffering in any way not being brought up black enough by his white mother.



Loving parenting is NOT about preparing you to be a color. It is about bringing a child they love up to be a good, hopefully successful. happy person.

Probably because they don't want to adopt any children? I didnt realize you had to adopt children if you were well off financially. Why are there still white kids up for adoption? Shouldnt some wealthy white people adopt all of them?

Why would there be something wrong with white mothers that have children that are half Black? If they had the child with a Black guy chances are they are a little more knowledgeable about Black culture than one never having been involved with a Black guy. They have resources such as the child's Black grandparents, uncles, and aunts to assist as well. Also a white women with a mixed child has one important thing going for her. Its her child.

If you notice the POTUS married a Black woman. Anything he missed out on regarding Black culture is being provided by his wife.

You are correct. Being a loving parent is not about a color but it is about providing that child the best tools to deal with life. Unfortunately people that pretend life for a Black person is just like life for a white person is not dealing in reality.

until every black family has adopted every black child in this country...... then the issue of being " not brought up black enough" is nothing more then racism.

 

[Asclepias]

and here is another FACT....

Why arent the black people who could "prepare adoptive children as black" not adopting them?

how may adoptive children do obamas have?
jessie jackson?
all sharpton?
oprah?
micheal jackson?


is there something wrong with single white mothers ..... being mothers to their half black children? Should white women be prohibited from having black children becasue they can bring up their black children.... black enough?

i also dont see that barry had any problems connecting with his blackness..... or suffering in any way not being brought up black enough by his white mother.



Loving parenting is NOT about preparing you to be a color. It is about bringing a child they love up to be a good, hopefully successful. happy person.

Probably because they don't want to adopt any children? I didnt realize you had to adopt children if you were well off financially. Why are there still white kids up for adoption? Shouldnt some wealthy white people adopt all of them?

Why would there be something wrong with white mothers that have children that are half Black? If they had the child with a Black guy chances are they are a little more knowledgeable about Black culture than one never having been involved with a Black guy. They have resources such as the child's Black grandparents, uncles, and aunts to assist as well. Also a white women with a mixed child has one important thing going for her. Its her child.

If you notice the POTUS married a Black woman. Anything he missed out on regarding Black culture is being provided by his wife.

You are correct. Being a loving parent is not about a color but it is about providing that child the best tools to deal with life. Unfortunately people that pretend life for a Black person is just like life for a white person is not dealing in reality.

until every black family has adopted every black child in this country...... then the issue of being " not brought up black enough" is nothing more then racism.

What do you mean by "not brought up black enough"? Who said that?

 

[syrenn]

Probably because they don't want to adopt any children? I didnt realize you had to adopt children if you were well off financially. Why are there still white kids up for adoption? Shouldnt some wealthy white people adopt all of them?

Why would there be something wrong with white mothers that have children that are half Black? If they had the child with a Black guy chances are they are a little more knowledgeable about Black culture than one never having been involved with a Black guy. They have resources such as the child's Black grandparents, uncles, and aunts to assist as well. Also a white women with a mixed child has one important thing going for her. Its her child.

If you notice the POTUS married a Black woman. Anything he missed out on regarding Black culture is being provided by his wife.

You are correct. Being a loving parent is not about a color but it is about providing that child the best tools to deal with life. Unfortunately people that pretend life for a Black person is just like life for a white person is not dealing in reality.

until every black family has adopted every black child in this country...... then the issue of being " not brought up black enough" is nothing more then racism.

What do you mean by "not brought up black enough"? Who said that?

you do...in just about every post you have made here.....

pretty damn racist.

 

[Asclepias]

until every black family has adopted every black child in this country...... then the issue of being " not brought up black enough" is nothing more then racism.

What do you mean by "not brought up black enough"? Who said that?

you do...in just about every post you have made here.....

pretty damn racist.

I dont recall saying that ever. Can you quote it or are you just assuming?

 

[syrenn]

What do you mean by "not brought up black enough"? Who said that?

you do...in just about every post you have made here.....

pretty damn racist.

I dont recall saying that ever. Can you quote it or are you just assuming?

The facts are that most white people cannot prepare a Black child for what they are going to experience in this society. They simply have no frame of reference. What a black couple knows simply through experience a white couple would have to take the equivalent of the hours needed to obtain a BA or BS or more and still not be able to cover everything..

sugar coat it any way you want to


you are flat out saying.... white people wont be able to bring up a black child.... black enough.


and that is racist.

 

[Asclepias]

you do...in just about every post you have made here.....

pretty damn racist.

I dont recall saying that ever. Can you quote it or are you just assuming?

The facts are that most white people cannot prepare a Black child for what they are going to experience in this society. They simply have no frame of reference. What a black couple knows simply through experience a white couple would have to take the equivalent of the hours needed to obtain a BA or BS or more and still not be able to cover everything..

sugar coat it any way you want to


you are flat out saying.... white people wont be able to bring up a black child.... black enough.


and that is racist.

So you did assume and did so badly. If I were expressing that view 2 things would not have happened. I would never agree to a white couple raising a black child under any circumstance and I would advocate for mixed children to be taken away from any white female. The only way a child can be raised "Black enough" is by totally Black parents. Do you see the error in your assumption now?

 

[syrenn]

I dont recall saying that ever. Can you quote it or are you just assuming?

The facts are that most white people cannot prepare a Black child for what they are going to experience in this society. They simply have no frame of reference. What a black couple knows simply through experience a white couple would have to take the equivalent of the hours needed to obtain a BA or BS or more and still not be able to cover everything..

sugar coat it any way you want to


you are flat out saying.... white people wont be able to bring up a black child.... black enough.


and that is racist.

So you did assume and did so badly. If I were expressing that view 2 things would not have happened. I would never agree to a white couple raising a black child under any circumstance and I would advocate for mixed children to be taken away from any white female. The only way a child can be raised "Black enough" is by totally Black parents. Do you see the error in your assumption now?

you agree to white couples adopting black children... with riders and qualifiers.... as a last resort. That is racist.

 

[Asclepias]

sugar coat it any way you want to


you are flat out saying.... white people wont be able to bring up a black child.... black enough.


and that is racist.

So you did assume and did so badly. If I were expressing that view 2 things would not have happened. I would never agree to a white couple raising a black child under any circumstance and I would advocate for mixed children to be taken away from any white female. The only way a child can be raised "Black enough" is by totally Black parents. Do you see the error in your assumption now?

you agree to white couples adopting black children... with riders and qualifiers.... as a last resort. That is racist.

I agree to white couples adopting Black children in the event no Black couple can or will do it. Why is bringing up a child with the best tools to handle life racist?

 

[Unkotare]

sugar coat it any way you want to


you are flat out saying.... white people wont be able to bring up a black child.... black enough.


and that is racist.

So you did assume and did so badly. If I were expressing that view 2 things would not have happened. I would never agree to a white couple raising a black child under any circumstance and I would advocate for mixed children to be taken away from any white female. The only way a child can be raised "Black enough" is by totally Black parents. Do you see the error in your assumption now?

you agree to white couples adopting black children... with riders and qualifiers.... as a last resort. That is racist.

You're wasting your time trying to communicate with that person. He's clearly one of the worst racists on this site. He'll just deny being a racist in the same breath that he says yet another absurdly racist thing.

 

[syrenn]

So you did assume and did so badly. If I were expressing that view 2 things would not have happened. I would never agree to a white couple raising a black child under any circumstance and I would advocate for mixed children to be taken away from any white female. The only way a child can be raised "Black enough" is by totally Black parents. Do you see the error in your assumption now?

you agree to white couples adopting black children... with riders and qualifiers.... as a last resort. That is racist.

I agree to white couples adopting Black children in the event no Black couple can or will do it. Why is bringing up a child with the best tools to handle life racist?

and again.... that is racist. The fact is.... black people do not adopt children as much as white couples as far as i can tell. If they did.... this would be a non issue.

Children should be adopted by anyone who wants them. It is not about color..... its about lavishing love on that child. Adoptive parents fall in love with the child.... not its color.

 

[Unkotare]

I have issues with any overseas adoptions.....

until every last child in this country has been adopted.... none should be allowed from overseas.

"Allowed"? Allowed by whom?

 

[syrenn]

I have issues with any overseas adoptions.....

until every last child in this country has been adopted.... none should be allowed from overseas.

"Allowed"? Allowed by whom?

are you seriously telling me you have no idea about overseas adoptions?

 

[Againsheila]

The facts are that most white people cannot prepare a Black child for what they are going to experience in this society. They simply have no frame of reference. What a black couple knows simply through experience a white couple would have to take the equivalent of the hours needed to obtain a BA or BS or more and still not be able to cover everything. However, if a Black couple cannot be found then the child should go to the next qualified adoptive parent. I agree with Penny(!) that it should be as close culturally to the child's reality as possible. A foster home can be a great place but I think the status of being adopted as opposed to being fostered is significant to these kids. Using horror stories about foster, adoptive, and biological parents is not fair as all have their issues. These social workers are educated in their field and they know this reality. If they are picking foster homes over adoptive homes then they are to be trusted as they know whats best for the child.

What a bunch of bull.

I detect more than a hint of emotion backed up by nothing but empty air. What is it that is bull? Are you know going to say you know what the reality is for a Black child growing up in this society?

Two of my nieces are black. I know several white people who have adopted black children. They are happy families. Family isn't just blood. It's love and commitment and caring and being willing to sacrifice. Race doesn't enter into it at all.