Adoption

[Againsheila]

and here is another FACT....

Why arent the black people who could "prepare adoptive children as black" not adopting them?

how may adoptive children do obamas have?
jessie jackson?
all sharpton?
oprah?
micheal jackson?


is there something wrong with single white mothers ..... being mothers to their half black children? Should white women be prohibited from having black children becasue they can bring up their black children.... black enough?

i also dont see that barry had any problems connecting with his blackness..... or suffering in any way not being brought up black enough by his white mother.



Loving parenting is NOT about preparing you to be a color. It is about bringing a child they love up to be a good, hopefully successful. happy person.

Probably because they don't want to adopt any children? I didnt realize you had to adopt children if you were well off financially. Why are there still white kids up for adoption? Shouldnt some wealthy white people adopt all of them?

Why would there be something wrong with white mothers that have children that are half Black? If they had the child with a Black guy chances are they are a little more knowledgeable about Black culture than one never having been involved with a Black guy. They have resources such as the child's Black grandparents, uncles, and aunts to assist as well. Also a white women with a mixed child has one important thing going for her. Its her child.

If you notice the POTUS married a Black woman. Anything he missed out on regarding Black culture is being provided by his wife.

You are correct. Being a loving parent is not about a color but it is about providing that child the best tools to deal with life. Unfortunately people that pretend life for a Black person is just like life for a white person is not dealing in reality.

As long as people think like you, there will always be racism.

Quote from Booker T. Washington

"There is a class of colored people who make a business of keeping the troubles, the wrongs, and the hardships of the Negro race before the public. Some of these people do not want the Negro to lose his grievances, because they do not want to lose their jobs. There is a certain class of race-problem solvers who don't want the patient to get well."

Booker called it long before you were born. And he actually was a slave and had a legitimate grievance.

Today there is no reason why a black child cannot be raised in a white family. Check out the movie Blind Side based on Michael Oher and his adoption by a white family. Then think about how many white people there are out there who have adopted black children and love them like their own. Raise them, educate them, care for them. Only a heartless bigot would somehow think that a child isn't good enough for a couple because of his/her color, or the couple isn't good enough for the child based on their color.

 

[Againsheila]

I see nothing wrong with interracial adoptions, provided it is in the best interest of the child. For instance, if the child has to choose between a foster home or a caring family of a different race, hands down the child should be placed with the caring family.

We already have interracial adoptions from overseas countries, and for the most part there are no issues, otherwise the process would have been discontinued. We also have interracial marriage, and children in those families are doing fine, so I don't see why interracial adoption would be an issue.

I have issues with any overseas adoptions.....

until every last child in this country has been adopted.... none should be allowed from overseas.

Except that too many people have adopted babies in this country and raised them for a few years before the parents decided they wanted them back and the children were taken from them by force. That's why my neighbor decided to adopt from china. She wanted special needs children. First she adopted an adorable 18 month old little girl. Apparently, in China, if you're 18 months old and not adopted yet, you're special needs. They went back a few years later and adopted an 11 year old boy with a cleft pallet. He's had many operations and graduated from High school and is now going to college. She takes the kids to Chinese lessons every week so that if they ever decide to go back to China, they will be able to communicate.

Personally, I think China is selling their children and it's wrong, but those two kids are very lucky to be in that family. I too think children here should be adopted first but when you read about someone with a child and that child is taken from them, it would break me. We need to change our laws, once a child is adopted, that should be it, no one should be able to come back and take that child from you even if the mother didn't tell the father about the child.

 

[syrenn]

I see nothing wrong with interracial adoptions, provided it is in the best interest of the child. For instance, if the child has to choose between a foster home or a caring family of a different race, hands down the child should be placed with the caring family.

We already have interracial adoptions from overseas countries, and for the most part there are no issues, otherwise the process would have been discontinued. We also have interracial marriage, and children in those families are doing fine, so I don't see why interracial adoption would be an issue.

I have issues with any overseas adoptions.....

until every last child in this country has been adopted.... none should be allowed from overseas.

Except that too many people have adopted babies in this country and raised them for a few years before the parents decided they wanted them back and the children were taken from them by force. That's why my neighbor decided to adopt from china. She wanted special needs children. First she adopted an adorable 18 month old little girl. Apparently, in China, if you're 18 months old and not adopted yet, you're special needs. They went back a few years later and adopted an 11 year old boy with a cleft pallet. He's had many operations and graduated from High school and is now going to college. She takes the kids to Chinese lessons every week so that if they ever decide to go back to China, they will be able to communicate.

Personally, I think China is selling their children and it's wrong, but those two kids are very lucky to be in that family. I too think children here should be adopted first but when you read about someone with a child and that child is taken from them, it would break me. We need to change our laws, once a child is adopted, that should be it, no one should be able to come back and take that child from you even if the mother didn't tell the father about the child.

dont get me wrong....i understand the problems adopting children here....

I agree with you...once the child is adopted...that is IT. End of story... the biologicals have no more say.

i feel for the children overseas ..... i feel MORE for the children here.

 

[Asclepias]

you agree to white couples adopting black children... with riders and qualifiers.... as a last resort. That is racist.

I agree to white couples adopting Black children in the event no Black couple can or will do it. Why is bringing up a child with the best tools to handle life racist?

and again.... that is racist. The fact is.... black people do not adopt children as much as white couples as far as i can tell. If they did.... this would be a non issue.

Children should be adopted by anyone who wants them. It is not about color..... its about lavishing love on that child. Adoptive parents fall in love with the child.... not its color.

Again no it is not racist. It doesnt matter if black people adopt less. That has nothing to do with it. If it did then there would be no white kids up for adoption. Children should not be adopted solely by what someone else wishes. They should be adopted with the intention of giving that child the best life and tools to deal with life as possible. They are not pets. I may want to adopt a whale but I don't own a ocean. I can be as well intentioned as possible but not be able to give someone what they need to make it through life.

 

[Asclepias]

What a bunch of bull.

I detect more than a hint of emotion backed up by nothing but empty air. What is it that is bull? Are you know going to say you know what the reality is for a Black child growing up in this society?

Two of my nieces are black. I know several white people who have adopted black children. They are happy families. Family isn't just blood. It's love and commitment and caring and being willing to sacrifice. Race doesn't enter into it at all.

Thats not what I asked you. I asked you if are you going to tell me if you what the reality is for a Black child growing up in this society? i have white and also filipino family members but I cannot relate to their experiences and how life treats them in this society.

 

[Unkotare]

I have issues with any overseas adoptions.....

until every last child in this country has been adopted.... none should be allowed from overseas.

"Allowed"? Allowed by whom?

are you seriously telling me you have no idea about overseas adoptions?

Where do you get that from my question?

 

[syrenn]

I agree to white couples adopting Black children in the event no Black couple can or will do it. Why is bringing up a child with the best tools to handle life racist?

and again.... that is racist. The fact is.... black people do not adopt children as much as white couples as far as i can tell. If they did.... this would be a non issue.

Children should be adopted by anyone who wants them. It is not about color..... its about lavishing love on that child. Adoptive parents fall in love with the child.... not its color.

Again no it is not racist. It doesnt matter if black people adopt less. That has nothing to do with it. If it did then there would be no white kids up for adoption. Children should not be adopted solely by what someone else wishes. They should be adopted with the intention of giving that child the best life and tools to deal with life as possible. They are not pets. I may want to adopt a whale but I don't own a ocean. I can be as well intentioned as possible but not be able to give someone what they need to make it through life.

yes, it does matter that black people adopt less.

they are the ones leaving said black children to fend for themselves in a White home.

black children being adopted by White parents....ARE being adopted with the intention of giving that child the best life and tools to deale with life as possible..... regardless of color

What is... and what you would want in a perfect world are very different things..... but then again...if black people adopted more of the unwanted black children....this would be a non issue.

they don't......

 

[Asclepias]

and here is another FACT....

Why arent the black people who could "prepare adoptive children as black" not adopting them?

how may adoptive children do obamas have?
jessie jackson?
all sharpton?
oprah?
micheal jackson?


is there something wrong with single white mothers ..... being mothers to their half black children? Should white women be prohibited from having black children becasue they can bring up their black children.... black enough?

i also dont see that barry had any problems connecting with his blackness..... or suffering in any way not being brought up black enough by his white mother.



Loving parenting is NOT about preparing you to be a color. It is about bringing a child they love up to be a good, hopefully successful. happy person.

Probably because they don't want to adopt any children? I didnt realize you had to adopt children if you were well off financially. Why are there still white kids up for adoption? Shouldnt some wealthy white people adopt all of them?

Why would there be something wrong with white mothers that have children that are half Black? If they had the child with a Black guy chances are they are a little more knowledgeable about Black culture than one never having been involved with a Black guy. They have resources such as the child's Black grandparents, uncles, and aunts to assist as well. Also a white women with a mixed child has one important thing going for her. Its her child.

If you notice the POTUS married a Black woman. Anything he missed out on regarding Black culture is being provided by his wife.

You are correct. Being a loving parent is not about a color but it is about providing that child the best tools to deal with life. Unfortunately people that pretend life for a Black person is just like life for a white person is not dealing in reality.

As long as people think like you, there will always be racism.

Quote from Booker T. Washington

"There is a class of colored people who make a business of keeping the troubles, the wrongs, and the hardships of the Negro race before the public. Some of these people do not want the Negro to lose his grievances, because they do not want to lose their jobs. There is a certain class of race-problem solvers who don't want the patient to get well."

Booker called it long before you were born. And he actually was a slave and had a legitimate grievance.

Today there is no reason why a black child cannot be raised in a white family. Check out the movie Blind Side based on Michael Oher and his adoption by a white family. Then think about how many white people there are out there who have adopted black children and love them like their own. Raise them, educate them, care for them. Only a heartless bigot would somehow think that a child isn't good enough for a couple because of his/her color, or the couple isn't good enough for the child based on their color.

I think somewhere along the line you let your emotions cloud your reading comprehension. Maybe if I type it short you will get what I am saying. Black child. First option should be a black family. No black family? Other options including a white family is fine. Make no mistake about my position/opinion. It should be a black family first before a white family. It gives them the best possible scenario of growing up with tools to navigate life in this society being black. I loved the Blind Side and I love Sandra Bullock.

 

[History]

You know, I really do try to be color blind.. Blacks and Hispanics that I work with day in and day out are absolutely great people.. We all work together in unity because without teamwork, we'd all fall apart, regardless of color.. We help each other if we need to borrow some money or need help on something at the job.. We work as one..

Now, dealing with the public.. I have 2 jobs as of right now and I go to school, one is at a pharmaceutical plant and the other is a server job(Working with the public)

What you notice working in the public is that when you are serving guests, whites and Hispanics tend to not complain much at all about anything.. Tonight at work, I had waited on a table of 4 African Americans, their bill was $95.. 2 teenagers, 1 over 18, and the mother.. Did everything I possibly could for them, kept them satisfied the whole time with no complaints, and at the end she didn't leave a tip..

Now was it because I was white?? I just don't know.. Even the black servers at the restaurant talk about how much that blacks tip(our wait staff there is 50% white/40% black/10% Hispanic) so it may not even be that.. Most leave maybe 5%-9% or not at all no matter what amounts of effort or service is provided.. No joke, the other African American servers say "I love serving white people, they don't complain, tip well, and don't cause us any stress.." I have heard it on a lot of occasions.. As far as the numbers go percentage wise, I would say about 70% of African Americans through my past year experience leave 9% or less..

Another instance I had tonight, the Lady ordered Seafood plate(Lobster, Crab cake, Grilled Shrimp, Garden Bar, Baked Potato) for $18.99
Knowing what its cost was for higher quality food, she received it and she was like "I am not gonna pay for this, take it back, let me speak to a manager now"
Okay, so I did, and she just started going off on a rant cursing and this and that.. Now of course we're talking Lobster, crab, shrimp, 2 sides, of course it's not gonna be a cheaper meal.. But anyways, we got it taken off..


But just real talk.. I don't know if anybody else has had to experience this side of things, but that will be what you notice.. This isn't to down any race at all, but it is just what I experience day in and day out dealing with race..

 

[Jughead]

I see nothing wrong with interracial adoptions, provided it is in the best interest of the child. For instance, if the child has to choose between a foster home or a caring family of a different race, hands down the child should be placed with the caring family.

We already have interracial adoptions from overseas countries, and for the most part there are no issues, otherwise the process would have been discontinued. We also have interracial marriage, and children in those families are doing fine, so I don't see why interracial adoption would be an issue.

I have issues with any overseas adoptions.....

until every last child in this country has been adopted.... none should be allowed from overseas.

I'll agree with that. I would be extremely happy if instead of adopting from overseas, we could implement an adoption program for babies that would otherwise be aborted.

 

[JakeStarkey]

I dont recall saying that ever. Can you quote it or are you just assuming?

The facts are that most white people cannot prepare a Black child for what they are going to experience in this society. They simply have no frame of reference. What a black couple knows simply through experience a white couple would have to take the equivalent of the hours needed to obtain a BA or BS or more and still not be able to cover everything..

sugar coat it any way you want to


you are flat out saying.... white people wont be able to bring up a black child.... black enough.


and that is racist.

So you did assume and did so badly. If I were expressing that view 2 things would not have happened. I would never agree to a white couple raising a black child under any circumstance and I would advocate for mixed children to be taken away from any white female. The only way a child can be raised "Black enough" is by totally Black parents. Do you see the error in your assumption now?

Fail, A.

1. You don't decide what is racism by yourself.

2. Your belief and actions decide for you.

 

[katsteve2012]

Ok, but what exactly do you mean in regards to the question at hand?

You're [sic] opener doesn't exactly pose a direct question Bro'.

Alright, then how about this one: Should the social workers in question really be working in that field if they are motivated by race rather than placing children with good families?

First and foremost, the responsibility of the social worker should be to place children in a safe and nurturing environment.

Of course, being that we live in a society where the racial makeup of an individual still largely defines how they are initially perceived, especially if they are a minority, there should be dialogue between the adoption administrators and the prospective parents prior to adoption to ensure that they have a clear understanding of some of the unique challenges that could be associated with adopting a child who is part of a racial minority, and are equipped to handle those challenges.

As an example, I can use some friends of our family as an example. They are caucasion and adopted a black child some years ago. They encountered some negative backlash from both sides of their biological family, as well as negative reactions from people of different races that they had considered to be "friends", but ended being shocked by their negativity.

In the everyday responsibilities of parenting the child they have encountered mixed reactions at parent/teacher conferences, as well as regular activities like little league baseball and soccer games. Even when the child has friends come to visit, he has been asked, "why don't you look like your Mom and Dad?".

These are all issues to be considered when adopting interacially.

As an editorial comment, I have to acknowledge the strength of these friends, this adoption has brought them closer together, and led them to seek out others in support groups who have taken on similar responsibility.

Just my two cents, for whatever it is worth.

 

[Asclepias]

and again.... that is racist. The fact is.... black people do not adopt children as much as white couples as far as i can tell. If they did.... this would be a non issue.

Children should be adopted by anyone who wants them. It is not about color..... its about lavishing love on that child. Adoptive parents fall in love with the child.... not its color.

Again no it is not racist. It doesnt matter if black people adopt less. That has nothing to do with it. If it did then there would be no white kids up for adoption. Children should not be adopted solely by what someone else wishes. They should be adopted with the intention of giving that child the best life and tools to deal with life as possible. They are not pets. I may want to adopt a whale but I don't own a ocean. I can be as well intentioned as possible but not be able to give someone what they need to make it through life.

yes, it does matter that black people adopt less.

they are the ones leaving said black children to fend for themselves in a White home.

black children being adopted by White parents....ARE being adopted with the intention of giving that child the best life and tools to deale with life as possible..... regardless of color

What is... and what you would want in a perfect world are very different things..... but then again...if black people adopted more of the unwanted black children....this would be a non issue.

they don't......

No it doesnt matter. You are talking about 2 different things. The rate of black adoption by Black people and the order of priority that Black children should be given to prospective parents. Again I cite the unadopted white children to illustrate how far off base you are. How can you tie the 2 together? White children are left to fend for themselves in foster homes by white couples. What is the rationale for that and what does it have to do with the issue we are discussing?

I dont have a problem with Black children being adopted by white couples as long as a black couple is given the first option. its only an issue to you because you are making it one. Again intentions may be good but the facts are the intentions should be coupled with the know how necessary to teach a Black child coping skills in a society that has historically shown his/her people they are regarded as less than human. How do you do that if you have never experienced it yourself?

 

[Unkotare]

black children being adopted by White parents....ARE being adopted with the intention of giving that child the best life and tools to deale with life as possible..... regardless of color

The racist won't hear what it doesn't want to hear. You can expect rationalizations, justifications, and qualifications to follow.

 

[Montrovant]

Again no it is not racist. It doesnt matter if black people adopt less. That has nothing to do with it. If it did then there would be no white kids up for adoption. Children should not be adopted solely by what someone else wishes. They should be adopted with the intention of giving that child the best life and tools to deal with life as possible. They are not pets. I may want to adopt a whale but I don't own a ocean. I can be as well intentioned as possible but not be able to give someone what they need to make it through life.

yes, it does matter that black people adopt less.

they are the ones leaving said black children to fend for themselves in a White home.

black children being adopted by White parents....ARE being adopted with the intention of giving that child the best life and tools to deale with life as possible..... regardless of color

What is... and what you would want in a perfect world are very different things..... but then again...if black people adopted more of the unwanted black children....this would be a non issue.

they don't......

No it doesnt matter. You are talking about 2 different things. The rate of black adoption by Black people and the order of priority that Black children should be given to prospective parents. Again I cite the unadopted white children to illustrate how far off base you are. How can you tie the 2 together? White children are left to fend for themselves in foster homes by white couples. What is the rationale for that and what does it have to do with the issue we are discussing?

I dont have a problem with Black children being adopted by white couples as long as a black couple is given the first option. its only an issue to you because you are making it one. Again intentions may be good but the facts are the intentions should be coupled with the know how necessary to teach a Black child coping skills in a society that has historically shown his/her people they are regarded as less than human. How do you do that if you have never experienced it yourself?

Have you considered that making racial distinctions such as this, even for the best of intentions, can only help to continue racial divides in the country? That every example of systemic attempts to keep people within their own race, so to speak, is an expression of the differences between people rather than the similarities, and an almost inherent endorsement of continuing racial separations?

Your statements are also somewhat of a condemnation of interracial couples. You are basically saying such relationships are less than racially similar couples because any children involved will be at a disadvantage.

Then there's the question of who this should apply to. Blacks go to black families first; who decides who is or is not black? Should the same reasoning apply to whites, Asians, Hispanics, Native Americans, which racial designations should be placed in families with similar backgrounds and why? And who determines which people fit the criteria to be part of a given race?

 

[Againsheila]

Probably because they don't want to adopt any children? I didnt realize you had to adopt children if you were well off financially. Why are there still white kids up for adoption? Shouldnt some wealthy white people adopt all of them?

Why would there be something wrong with white mothers that have children that are half Black? If they had the child with a Black guy chances are they are a little more knowledgeable about Black culture than one never having been involved with a Black guy. They have resources such as the child's Black grandparents, uncles, and aunts to assist as well. Also a white women with a mixed child has one important thing going for her. Its her child.

If you notice the POTUS married a Black woman. Anything he missed out on regarding Black culture is being provided by his wife.

You are correct. Being a loving parent is not about a color but it is about providing that child the best tools to deal with life. Unfortunately people that pretend life for a Black person is just like life for a white person is not dealing in reality.

As long as people think like you, there will always be racism.

Quote from Booker T. Washington

"There is a class of colored people who make a business of keeping the troubles, the wrongs, and the hardships of the Negro race before the public. Some of these people do not want the Negro to lose his grievances, because they do not want to lose their jobs. There is a certain class of race-problem solvers who don't want the patient to get well."

Booker called it long before you were born. And he actually was a slave and had a legitimate grievance.

Today there is no reason why a black child cannot be raised in a white family. Check out the movie Blind Side based on Michael Oher and his adoption by a white family. Then think about how many white people there are out there who have adopted black children and love them like their own. Raise them, educate them, care for them. Only a heartless bigot would somehow think that a child isn't good enough for a couple because of his/her color, or the couple isn't good enough for the child based on their color.

I think somewhere along the line you let your emotions cloud your reading comprehension. Maybe if I type it short you will get what I am saying. Black child. First option should be a black family. No black family? Other options including a white family is fine. Make no mistake about my position/opinion. It should be a black family first before a white family. It gives them the best possible scenario of growing up with tools to navigate life in this society being black. I loved the Blind Side and I love Sandra Bullock.

I must've misread you. That's not the idea I got from your posts. I apologize. Yes, a black child should probably go to a black home first, but not just because they are black. A thorough study should be done first to make sure it will be a good home, just as if they were white.

 

[Againsheila]

I see nothing wrong with interracial adoptions, provided it is in the best interest of the child. For instance, if the child has to choose between a foster home or a caring family of a different race, hands down the child should be placed with the caring family.

We already have interracial adoptions from overseas countries, and for the most part there are no issues, otherwise the process would have been discontinued. We also have interracial marriage, and children in those families are doing fine, so I don't see why interracial adoption would be an issue.

I have issues with any overseas adoptions.....

until every last child in this country has been adopted.... none should be allowed from overseas.

I'll agree with that. I would be extremely happy if instead of adopting from overseas, we could implement an adoption program for babies that would otherwise be aborted.

When I was younger, I offered to adopt several babies who's mothers wanted to and did abort them. Seems they'd rather kill them than let someone else raise them.

 

[Asclepias]

yes, it does matter that black people adopt less.

they are the ones leaving said black children to fend for themselves in a White home.

black children being adopted by White parents....ARE being adopted with the intention of giving that child the best life and tools to deale with life as possible..... regardless of color

What is... and what you would want in a perfect world are very different things..... but then again...if black people adopted more of the unwanted black children....this would be a non issue.

they don't......

No it doesnt matter. You are talking about 2 different things. The rate of black adoption by Black people and the order of priority that Black children should be given to prospective parents. Again I cite the unadopted white children to illustrate how far off base you are. How can you tie the 2 together? White children are left to fend for themselves in foster homes by white couples. What is the rationale for that and what does it have to do with the issue we are discussing?

I dont have a problem with Black children being adopted by white couples as long as a black couple is given the first option. its only an issue to you because you are making it one. Again intentions may be good but the facts are the intentions should be coupled with the know how necessary to teach a Black child coping skills in a society that has historically shown his/her people they are regarded as less than human. How do you do that if you have never experienced it yourself?

Have you considered that making racial distinctions such as this, even for the best of intentions, can only help to continue racial divides in the country? That every example of systemic attempts to keep people within their own race, so to speak, is an expression of the differences between people rather than the similarities, and an almost inherent endorsement of continuing racial separations?

Your statements are also somewhat of a condemnation of interracial couples. You are basically saying such relationships are less than racially similar couples because any children involved will be at a disadvantage.

Then there's the question of who this should apply to. Blacks go to black families first; who decides who is or is not black? Should the same reasoning apply to whites, Asians, Hispanics, Native Americans, which racial designations should be placed in families with similar backgrounds and why? And who determines which people fit the criteria to be part of a given race?

Yes I have considered that very thing. I once was of the opinion that it should not matter and making it a point of contention was at least maintaining the racial divide. Then I woke up. As a black person I have more societal barriers to success in life from the get go simply because I was lucky enough to be born with brown skin. My parents taught me how to cope with those barriers and maintain my resolve to keep going despite what the world throws at me. They taught me a shared history that a white person just would not be able to do.

My statements are not a condemnation of interracial couples. What makes you think that? Biracial/interracial Black children literally are Black and whatever. They can have a choice as to which side they claim or not claim one at all and embrace both. Are they less capable? It depends. I can use my oldest daughter as an example. Her mother is white and knew very little about Black people until she met me. My girl cousins had to teach her how to take care of my daughters hair. Since a mother is the primary source of instruction for a daughter can a white mother teach her more effectively how to be a black woman than a Black woman? If society was not as racial as it is this would be a non issue.

When deciding who goes where that decision should be made by the social workers which is what this OP is about. I believe its imperative that adoptions should be "racially coded" as a first option. I have however thought of the benefit that may be gained by placing a white child in a "minority" family. There would be more enlightened white people teaching other white people the truth about "minorities".

 

[syrenn]

Again no it is not racist. It doesnt matter if black people adopt less. That has nothing to do with it. If it did then there would be no white kids up for adoption. Children should not be adopted solely by what someone else wishes. They should be adopted with the intention of giving that child the best life and tools to deal with life as possible. They are not pets. I may want to adopt a whale but I don't own a ocean. I can be as well intentioned as possible but not be able to give someone what they need to make it through life.

yes, it does matter that black people adopt less.

they are the ones leaving said black children to fend for themselves in a White home.

black children being adopted by White parents....ARE being adopted with the intention of giving that child the best life and tools to deale with life as possible..... regardless of color

What is... and what you would want in a perfect world are very different things..... but then again...if black people adopted more of the unwanted black children....this would be a non issue.

they don't......

No it doesnt matter. You are talking about 2 different things. The rate of black adoption by Black people and the order of priority that Black children should be given to prospective parents. Again I cite the unadopted white children to illustrate how far off base you are. How can you tie the 2 together? White children are left to fend for themselves in foster homes by white couples. What is the rationale for that and what does it have to do with the issue we are discussing?

I dont have a problem with Black children being adopted by white couples as long as a black couple is given the first option. its only an issue to you because you are making it one. Again intentions may be good but the facts are the intentions should be coupled with the know how necessary to teach a Black child coping skills in a society that has historically shown his/her people they are regarded as less than human. How do you do that if you have never experienced it yourself?

the rational is that the white parents are not adopting based on color. They are adopting based on the love for a child they are willing to share their lives with.....

^^ not racist.

Its not about .... "oh lets adopt a white kid because we can teach it to be a white kid."

 

[Montrovant]

No it doesnt matter. You are talking about 2 different things. The rate of black adoption by Black people and the order of priority that Black children should be given to prospective parents. Again I cite the unadopted white children to illustrate how far off base you are. How can you tie the 2 together? White children are left to fend for themselves in foster homes by white couples. What is the rationale for that and what does it have to do with the issue we are discussing?

I dont have a problem with Black children being adopted by white couples as long as a black couple is given the first option. its only an issue to you because you are making it one. Again intentions may be good but the facts are the intentions should be coupled with the know how necessary to teach a Black child coping skills in a society that has historically shown his/her people they are regarded as less than human. How do you do that if you have never experienced it yourself?

Have you considered that making racial distinctions such as this, even for the best of intentions, can only help to continue racial divides in the country? That every example of systemic attempts to keep people within their own race, so to speak, is an expression of the differences between people rather than the similarities, and an almost inherent endorsement of continuing racial separations?

Your statements are also somewhat of a condemnation of interracial couples. You are basically saying such relationships are less than racially similar couples because any children involved will be at a disadvantage.

Then there's the question of who this should apply to. Blacks go to black families first; who decides who is or is not black? Should the same reasoning apply to whites, Asians, Hispanics, Native Americans, which racial designations should be placed in families with similar backgrounds and why? And who determines which people fit the criteria to be part of a given race?

Yes I have considered that very thing. I once was of the opinion that it should not matter and making it a point of contention was at least maintaining the racial divide. Then I woke up. As a black person I have more societal barriers to success in life from the get go simply because I was lucky enough to be born with brown skin. My parents taught me how to cope with those barriers and maintain my resolve to keep going despite what the world throws at me. They taught me a shared history that a white person just would not be able to do.

My statements are not a condemnation of interracial couples. What makes you think that? Biracial/interracial Black children literally are Black and whatever. They can have a choice as to which side they claim or not claim one at all and embrace both. Are they less capable? It depends. I can use my oldest daughter as an example. Her mother is white and knew very little about Black people until she met me. My girl cousins had to teach her how to take care of my daughters hair. Since a mother is the primary source of instruction for a daughter can a white mother teach her more effectively how to be a black woman than a Black woman? If society was not as racial as it is this would be a non issue.

When deciding who goes where that decision should be made by the social workers which is what this OP is about. I believe its imperative that adoptions should be "racially coded" as a first option. I have however thought of the benefit that may be gained by placing a white child in a "minority" family. There would be more enlightened white people teaching other white people the truth about "minorities".

How can a dark-skinned child of mixed race have a choice about 'which side they claim' if skin color creates this impenetrable divide? Sure, a child with a white and a black parent can say they are white, but if they have dark skin, aren't you saying that they will have a 'black' life experience because of it?

I'm sorry, but needing help doing a child's hair is an extremely poor example of why it's better to worry about race when it comes to children. More, I don't see how that example would change a great deal if society were not as racial. No matter what society is like, a parent in that situation may need outside help determining the best way to deal with the child's hair.

On to the section I put in bold. I believe they show pretty conclusively that your point has nothing to do with races being better off with their own. Instead, it shows you think minorities are better off within their own race. Whites, on the other hand, you think would gain separate advantages being reared by people of other races. It is a very clear bias. Why wouldn't minority children gain perspective on what it means to be white by growing up with a white family? Either you believe that the experiences of whites are much easier to understand than those of minorities, or you think that the experiences of whites are less worth knowing. I can't see what other reason you have for the difference in importance when it comes to race.