Adoption

[Asclepias]

yes, it does matter that black people adopt less.

they are the ones leaving said black children to fend for themselves in a White home.

black children being adopted by White parents....ARE being adopted with the intention of giving that child the best life and tools to deale with life as possible..... regardless of color

What is... and what you would want in a perfect world are very different things..... but then again...if black people adopted more of the unwanted black children....this would be a non issue.

they don't......

No it doesnt matter. You are talking about 2 different things. The rate of black adoption by Black people and the order of priority that Black children should be given to prospective parents. Again I cite the unadopted white children to illustrate how far off base you are. How can you tie the 2 together? White children are left to fend for themselves in foster homes by white couples. What is the rationale for that and what does it have to do with the issue we are discussing?

I dont have a problem with Black children being adopted by white couples as long as a black couple is given the first option. its only an issue to you because you are making it one. Again intentions may be good but the facts are the intentions should be coupled with the know how necessary to teach a Black child coping skills in a society that has historically shown his/her people they are regarded as less than human. How do you do that if you have never experienced it yourself?

the rational is that the white parents are not adopting based on color. They are adopting based on the love for a child they are willing to share their lives with.....

^^ not racist.

Its not about .... "oh lets adopt a white kid because we can teach it to be a white kid."

How do they know they love this child? You don't just arbitrarily love someone. Its a decision. Yes it is about color if they are intentionally adopting a Black child. How can you say its not? That doesnt make them bad people as their aim is to help provide a home. However in doing so they should be aware that they will not be able to provide that cultural component themselves.

 

[syrenn]

No it doesnt matter. You are talking about 2 different things. The rate of black adoption by Black people and the order of priority that Black children should be given to prospective parents. Again I cite the unadopted white children to illustrate how far off base you are. How can you tie the 2 together? White children are left to fend for themselves in foster homes by white couples. What is the rationale for that and what does it have to do with the issue we are discussing?

I dont have a problem with Black children being adopted by white couples as long as a black couple is given the first option. its only an issue to you because you are making it one. Again intentions may be good but the facts are the intentions should be coupled with the know how necessary to teach a Black child coping skills in a society that has historically shown his/her people they are regarded as less than human. How do you do that if you have never experienced it yourself?

the rational is that the white parents are not adopting based on color. They are adopting based on the love for a child they are willing to share their lives with.....

^^ not racist.

Its not about .... "oh lets adopt a white kid because we can teach it to be a white kid."

How do they know they love this child? You don't just arbitrarily love someone. Its a decision. Yes it is about color if they are intentionally adopting a Black child. How can you say its not? That doesnt make them bad people as their aim is to help provide a home. However in doing so they should be aware that they will not be able to provide that cultural component themselves.

How do you know they dont?

aaahhh so what you are trying to say is white couples are going out of their way telling agencies.... they want a black kid?

funny that.

and again.... what you are saying is that white women should not be having black children..... they cant bring them up black enough for you.

 

[Pheonixops]

It just came up on another thread that some African American social workers are opposed to interracial adoption. It was suggested they'd rather black children stay in foster homes than be adopted by white couples.

I was wondering - without prejudice aforethought - how African American USMB members feel about the issue.


Of course, it is an interesting question for any of our members of any 'race.' The question can be imagined for any combination of would-be parents and children up for adoption.

My best friend is a German-American white guy with a shaved head, he has three children of his own and they adopted a child who is African-American who is fourteen years old and was in trouble. I think that it's great, he's my friend's twelve year old son's best friend.

 

[Unkotare]

the rational is that the white parents are not adopting based on color. They are adopting based on the love for a child they are willing to share their lives with.....

^^ not racist.

Its not about .... "oh lets adopt a white kid because we can teach it to be a white kid."

How do they know they love this child? You don't just arbitrarily love someone. Its a decision. Yes it is about color if they are intentionally adopting a Black child. How can you say its not? That doesnt make them bad people as their aim is to help provide a home. However in doing so they should be aware that they will not be able to provide that cultural component themselves.

How do you know they dont?

aaahhh so what you are trying to say is white couples are going out of their way telling agencies.... they want a black kid?

funny that.

and again.... what you are saying is that white women should not be having black children..... they cant bring them up black enough for you.

The racist is reacting exactly the way I said he would.

 

[Pheonixops]

I see nothing wrong with interracial adoptions, provided it is in the best interest of the child. For instance, if the child has to choose between a foster home or a caring family of a different race, hands down the child should be placed with the caring family.

We already have interracial adoptions from overseas countries, and for the most part there are no issues, otherwise the process would have been discontinued. We also have interracial marriage, and children in those families are doing fine, so I don't see why interracial adoption would be an issue.

I have issues with any overseas adoptions.....

until every last child in this country has been adopted.... none should be allowed from overseas.

Good point, though I wouldn't want it to be a law. There are plenty of children here in this country of many different "races" who need to be adopted. I think that we should concentrate on our own "house" before we start taking care of other people's "houses".

 

[Pheonixops]

You're [sic] opener doesn't exactly pose a direct question Bro'.

Alright, then how about this one: Should the social workers in question really be working in that field if they are motivated by race rather than placing children with good families?

First and foremost, the responsibility of the social worker should be to place children in a safe and nurturing environment.

Of course, being that we live in a society where the racial makeup of an individual still largely defines how they are initially perceived, especially if they are a minority, there should be dialogue between the adoption administrators and the prospective parents prior to adoption to ensure that they have a clear understanding of some of the unique challenges that could be associated with adopting a child who is part of a racial minority, and are equipped to handle those challenges.

As an example, I can use some friends of our family as an example. They are caucasion and adopted a black child some years ago. They encountered some negative backlash from both sides of their biological family, as well as negative reactions from people of different races that they had considered to be "friends", but ended being shocked by their negativity.

In the everyday responsibilities of parenting the child they have encountered mixed reactions at parent/teacher conferences, as well as regular activities like little league baseball and soccer games. Even when the child has friends come to visit, he has been asked, "why don't you look like your Mom and Dad?".

These are all issues to be considered when adopting interacially.

As an editorial comment, I have to acknowledge the strength of these friends, this adoption has brought them closer together, and led them to seek out others in support groups who have taken on similar responsibility.

Just my two cents, for whatever it is worth.

I'm willing to bet that they are receiving an education about what some Black people go through in life. My friend knew about it already, but now that it's for a child he loves, cares for, and is responsible for he sees things from another complete perspective. I remember there was a fight that his son and adopted son were involved in, it was with a few other kids trying to pick on them, well both of his sons (Black & White) took care of business, and then he says to me; "Guess who got blamed for the whole thing, the Black kid of course.", he was pissed off and went to bat for his son and told the people his sentiments. The funny thing about it is if you could picture my friend, White, shaved head, and tatted with some Norse type of shit.

 

[syrenn]

I see nothing wrong with interracial adoptions, provided it is in the best interest of the child. For instance, if the child has to choose between a foster home or a caring family of a different race, hands down the child should be placed with the caring family.

We already have interracial adoptions from overseas countries, and for the most part there are no issues, otherwise the process would have been discontinued. We also have interracial marriage, and children in those families are doing fine, so I don't see why interracial adoption would be an issue.

I have issues with any overseas adoptions.....

until every last child in this country has been adopted.... none should be allowed from overseas.

Good point, though I wouldn't want it to be a law. There are plenty of children here in this country of many different "races" who need to be adopted. I think that we should concentrate on our own "house" before we start taking care of other people's "houses".

The problem here is the adoption process is difficult and long. It makes me wonder if that was the law...if the adoption process here would get better.

 

[Pheonixops]

I have issues with any overseas adoptions.....

until every last child in this country has been adopted.... none should be allowed from overseas.

Good point, though I wouldn't want it to be a law. There are plenty of children here in this country of many different "races" who need to be adopted. I think that we should concentrate on our own "house" before we start taking care of other people's "houses".

The problem here is the adoption process is difficult and long. It makes me wonder if that was the law...if the adoption process here would get better.

I agree that it seems that they make more difficult to adopt here, ironically it seems to be the same people who complain about the lack of children being adopted here, that make it so hard to adopt a child. I do think that a "fostering" turned into adoption process is good with children who are older, that way if any issues arise the child can still be protected. If they make it through the "foster" process after a certain amount of time, then I think adoption could be granted.

 

[syrenn]

Good point, though I wouldn't want it to be a law. There are plenty of children here in this country of many different "races" who need to be adopted. I think that we should concentrate on our own "house" before we start taking care of other people's "houses".

The problem here is the adoption process is difficult and long. It makes me wonder if that was the law...if the adoption process here would get better.

I agree that it seems that they make more difficult to adopt here, ironically it seems to be the same people who complain about the lack of children being adopted here, that make it so hard to adopt a child. I do think that a "fostering" turned into adoption process is good with children who are older, that way if any issues arise the child can still be protected. If they make it through the "foster" process after a certain amount of time, then I think adoption could be granted.

lots of things here.... states do not want fosters to adopt, they may lose fosters. Fosters usual will not adopt, as fostering is a money making business......

I do agree that older children should have interaction with potential adoptive parents and the adoption should be what all parties involved want.

 

[Unkotare]

I have issues with any overseas adoptions.....

until every last child in this country has been adopted.... none should be allowed from overseas.

Good point, though I wouldn't want it to be a law. There are plenty of children here in this country of many different "races" who need to be adopted. I think that we should concentrate on our own "house" before we start taking care of other people's "houses".

The problem here is the adoption process is difficult and long. It makes me wonder if that was the law...if the adoption process here would get better.

What kind of "law" are you hoping for? A federal law? Based on what? Where in the Constitution do you find justification for that kind of encroachment on individual liberty? Would you want a "law" that says no American citizen can marry someone from another country until all the single people who are interested in marriage in the US are already matched up?

 

[Asclepias]

Have you considered that making racial distinctions such as this, even for the best of intentions, can only help to continue racial divides in the country? That every example of systemic attempts to keep people within their own race, so to speak, is an expression of the differences between people rather than the similarities, and an almost inherent endorsement of continuing racial separations?

Your statements are also somewhat of a condemnation of interracial couples. You are basically saying such relationships are less than racially similar couples because any children involved will be at a disadvantage.

Then there's the question of who this should apply to. Blacks go to black families first; who decides who is or is not black? Should the same reasoning apply to whites, Asians, Hispanics, Native Americans, which racial designations should be placed in families with similar backgrounds and why? And who determines which people fit the criteria to be part of a given race?

Yes I have considered that very thing. I once was of the opinion that it should not matter and making it a point of contention was at least maintaining the racial divide. Then I woke up. As a black person I have more societal barriers to success in life from the get go simply because I was lucky enough to be born with brown skin. My parents taught me how to cope with those barriers and maintain my resolve to keep going despite what the world throws at me. They taught me a shared history that a white person just would not be able to do.

My statements are not a condemnation of interracial couples. What makes you think that? Biracial/interracial Black children literally are Black and whatever. They can have a choice as to which side they claim or not claim one at all and embrace both. Are they less capable? It depends. I can use my oldest daughter as an example. Her mother is white and knew very little about Black people until she met me. My girl cousins had to teach her how to take care of my daughters hair. Since a mother is the primary source of instruction for a daughter can a white mother teach her more effectively how to be a black woman than a Black woman? If society was not as racial as it is this would be a non issue.

When deciding who goes where that decision should be made by the social workers which is what this OP is about. I believe its imperative that adoptions should be "racially coded" as a first option. I have however thought of the benefit that may be gained by placing a white child in a "minority" family. There would be more enlightened white people teaching other white people the truth about "minorities".

How can a dark-skinned child of mixed race have a choice about 'which side they claim' if skin color creates this impenetrable divide? Sure, a child with a white and a black parent can say they are white, but if they have dark skin, aren't you saying that they will have a 'black' life experience because of it?

I'm sorry, but needing help doing a child's hair is an extremely poor example of why it's better to worry about race when it comes to children. More, I don't see how that example would change a great deal if society were not as racial. No matter what society is like, a parent in that situation may need outside help determining the best way to deal with the child's hair.

On to the section I put in bold. I believe they show pretty conclusively that your point has nothing to do with races being better off with their own. Instead, it shows you think minorities are better off within their own race. Whites, on the other hand, you think would gain separate advantages being reared by people of other races. It is a very clear bias. Why wouldn't minority children gain perspective on what it means to be white by growing up with a white family? Either you believe that the experiences of whites are much easier to understand than those of minorities, or you think that the experiences of whites are less worth knowing. I can't see what other reason you have for the difference in importance when it comes to race.

A darker skinned mixed child can have the choice by refusing to bow to what society tells them they are. Yes they will be treated as Black but if they refuse to accept it there is not much anyone can do about the fact that they are indeed half white. I know kids like that now.

It may be a poor example to you but you may not understand about how important hair is to Black females. In a society where race is not an issue a child with a white adopted mother would have no qualms about going to a Black source for information. There are cultural differences between the ethnicities to deny that is an insult and indicative of why a white couple would have a harder time raising a black child. You just dont seem to get it.

If whites were one of the groups historically and presently discriminated against I would believe they should be offered to a white couple as a first option. Even so I still think its important but less of an urgent need for white children. As society stands they have no burden to bear being of the ethnicity thats is acclaimed to be superior. A minority child in the home of a white couple would not learn as much. You forget white culture is promoted at every turn. It is taught in school and every time you turn on the TV. Its everywhere from the fact Christopher Columbus is hailed as discovering America to whatever is the top rated show on TV to the first president being a white person. Everything else is secondary and that is reflected in the fact that most people know very little about the history of minorities in this country.

 

[Asclepias]

the rational is that the white parents are not adopting based on color. They are adopting based on the love for a child they are willing to share their lives with.....

^^ not racist.

Its not about .... "oh lets adopt a white kid because we can teach it to be a white kid."

How do they know they love this child? You don't just arbitrarily love someone. Its a decision. Yes it is about color if they are intentionally adopting a Black child. How can you say its not? That doesnt make them bad people as their aim is to help provide a home. However in doing so they should be aware that they will not be able to provide that cultural component themselves.

How do you know they dont?

aaahhh so what you are trying to say is white couples are going out of their way telling agencies.... they want a black kid?

funny that.

and again.... what you are saying is that white women should not be having black children..... they cant bring them up black enough for you.

Simple. They are not Black. How can they possibly teach Black culture better than a Black person?

Yes there are white couples that do that. Nothing wrong with it as they are trying to help but first priority should be given to a black family.

No. Thats what you think I'm saying. The fact that the child is half white creates a different dynamic. They need that white mother/father to provide the other half of self identity. You keep saying "black enough" and attributing it to me. Why are you doing that when I have never said those words?

 

[syrenn]

How do they know they love this child? You don't just arbitrarily love someone. Its a decision. Yes it is about color if they are intentionally adopting a Black child. How can you say its not? That doesnt make them bad people as their aim is to help provide a home. However in doing so they should be aware that they will not be able to provide that cultural component themselves.

How do you know they dont?

aaahhh so what you are trying to say is white couples are going out of their way telling agencies.... they want a black kid?

funny that.

and again.... what you are saying is that white women should not be having black children..... they cant bring them up black enough for you.

Simple. They are not Black. How can they possibly teach Black culture better than a Black person?

Yes there are white couples that do that. Nothing wrong with it as they are trying to help but first priority should be given to a black family.

No. Thats what you think I'm saying. The fact that the child is half white creates a different dynamic. They need that white mother/father to provide the other half of self identity. You keep saying "black enough" and attributing it to me. Why are you doing that when I have never said those words?

you dont seem to get it do you

raising a child has nothing to do with "teaching black or white culture".... unless you are trying to raise a racist.

 

[Montrovant]

Yes I have considered that very thing. I once was of the opinion that it should not matter and making it a point of contention was at least maintaining the racial divide. Then I woke up. As a black person I have more societal barriers to success in life from the get go simply because I was lucky enough to be born with brown skin. My parents taught me how to cope with those barriers and maintain my resolve to keep going despite what the world throws at me. They taught me a shared history that a white person just would not be able to do.

My statements are not a condemnation of interracial couples. What makes you think that? Biracial/interracial Black children literally are Black and whatever. They can have a choice as to which side they claim or not claim one at all and embrace both. Are they less capable? It depends. I can use my oldest daughter as an example. Her mother is white and knew very little about Black people until she met me. My girl cousins had to teach her how to take care of my daughters hair. Since a mother is the primary source of instruction for a daughter can a white mother teach her more effectively how to be a black woman than a Black woman? If society was not as racial as it is this would be a non issue.

When deciding who goes where that decision should be made by the social workers which is what this OP is about. I believe its imperative that adoptions should be "racially coded" as a first option. I have however thought of the benefit that may be gained by placing a white child in a "minority" family. There would be more enlightened white people teaching other white people the truth about "minorities".

How can a dark-skinned child of mixed race have a choice about 'which side they claim' if skin color creates this impenetrable divide? Sure, a child with a white and a black parent can say they are white, but if they have dark skin, aren't you saying that they will have a 'black' life experience because of it?

I'm sorry, but needing help doing a child's hair is an extremely poor example of why it's better to worry about race when it comes to children. More, I don't see how that example would change a great deal if society were not as racial. No matter what society is like, a parent in that situation may need outside help determining the best way to deal with the child's hair.

On to the section I put in bold. I believe they show pretty conclusively that your point has nothing to do with races being better off with their own. Instead, it shows you think minorities are better off within their own race. Whites, on the other hand, you think would gain separate advantages being reared by people of other races. It is a very clear bias. Why wouldn't minority children gain perspective on what it means to be white by growing up with a white family? Either you believe that the experiences of whites are much easier to understand than those of minorities, or you think that the experiences of whites are less worth knowing. I can't see what other reason you have for the difference in importance when it comes to race.

A darker skinned mixed child can have the choice by refusing to bow to what society tells them they are. Yes they will be treated as Black but if they refuse to accept it there is not much anyone can do about the fact that they are indeed half white. I know kids like that now.

It may be a poor example to you but you may not understand about how important hair is to Black females. In a society where race is not an issue a child with a white adopted mother would have no qualms about going to a Black source for information. There are cultural differences between the ethnicities to deny that is an insult and indicative of why a white couple would have a harder time raising a black child. You just dont seem to get it.

If whites were one of the groups historically and presently discriminated against I would believe they should be offered to a white couple as a first option. Even so I still think its important but less of an urgent need for white children. As society stands they have no burden to bear being of the ethnicity thats is acclaimed to be superior. A minority child in the home of a white couple would not learn as much. You forget white culture is promoted at every turn. It is taught in school and every time you turn on the TV. Its everywhere from the fact Christopher Columbus is hailed as discovering America to whatever is the top rated show on TV to the first president being a white person. Everything else is secondary and that is reflected in the fact that most people know very little about the history of minorities in this country.

Blacks are not some homogenous culture. There are cultural differences among blacks. So this idea that a black family is going to have some predetermined cultural identity because of their race is absurd. Race and culture are separate things. In fact, I think that the insistence on combining the two is part of the problem.

So you think that white parents will be unwilling to find a good source of information for taking care of a black child's hair? Not only do you assume they will have no black friends with whom to discuss the issue, but I guess they have no access to the internet either?

If skin color is only important if the individual chooses to make it important by accepting being treated a certain way, you are contradicting yourself. All that needs to happen for minority children adopted by white parents is the parents teach the children not to accept being treated that way. Therefore, the race of the parents is immaterial.

If differences in race between parent and child are important, that should hold true for biological and adoptive parents.

The more ways we find to separate people based on race, the longer race will remain a divisive issue. This is all the more true when it comes to children.

 

[syrenn]

Alright.... hypothetical question.


A black couple living in the inner city hood looking to adopt a child. Low income, no education, no prospects in life.

a white couple, living in a good neighborhood, wealthy, highly educated and upwardly mobile

the child in question.... likes the white couple better then the black couple.

who should be given the black child for adoption?

 

[Asclepias]

How do you know they dont?

aaahhh so what you are trying to say is white couples are going out of their way telling agencies.... they want a black kid?

funny that.

and again.... what you are saying is that white women should not be having black children..... they cant bring them up black enough for you.

Simple. They are not Black. How can they possibly teach Black culture better than a Black person?

Yes there are white couples that do that. Nothing wrong with it as they are trying to help but first priority should be given to a black family.

No. Thats what you think I'm saying. The fact that the child is half white creates a different dynamic. They need that white mother/father to provide the other half of self identity. You keep saying "black enough" and attributing it to me. Why are you doing that when I have never said those words?

you dont seem to get it do you

raising a child has nothing to do with "teaching black or white culture".... unless you are trying to raise a racist.

Thanks for proving my point. I guess at this point I just have to say I disagree with your opinion.

 

[Montrovant]

How do you know they dont?

aaahhh so what you are trying to say is white couples are going out of their way telling agencies.... they want a black kid?

funny that.

and again.... what you are saying is that white women should not be having black children..... they cant bring them up black enough for you.

Simple. They are not Black. How can they possibly teach Black culture better than a Black person?

Yes there are white couples that do that. Nothing wrong with it as they are trying to help but first priority should be given to a black family.

No. Thats what you think I'm saying. The fact that the child is half white creates a different dynamic. They need that white mother/father to provide the other half of self identity. You keep saying "black enough" and attributing it to me. Why are you doing that when I have never said those words?

you dont seem to get it do you

raising a child has nothing to do with "teaching black or white culture".... unless you are trying to raise a racist.

I would say that raising a child only has to do with teaching black or white or any other culture if the parents want it to. There is no inherent need to teach a certain culture to your children. Obviously certain aspects of culture will be important to live by in this country, but that doesn't mean a racial culture.

I reject the idea of racial culture anyway; it is an idea that tries to force people into a certain mold. Being born a certain race does not automatically convey any particular cultural characteristics. Those things are taught, and depending on the country, the region, even the individual family, those things will differ.

 

[Asclepias]

How can a dark-skinned child of mixed race have a choice about 'which side they claim' if skin color creates this impenetrable divide? Sure, a child with a white and a black parent can say they are white, but if they have dark skin, aren't you saying that they will have a 'black' life experience because of it?

I'm sorry, but needing help doing a child's hair is an extremely poor example of why it's better to worry about race when it comes to children. More, I don't see how that example would change a great deal if society were not as racial. No matter what society is like, a parent in that situation may need outside help determining the best way to deal with the child's hair.

On to the section I put in bold. I believe they show pretty conclusively that your point has nothing to do with races being better off with their own. Instead, it shows you think minorities are better off within their own race. Whites, on the other hand, you think would gain separate advantages being reared by people of other races. It is a very clear bias. Why wouldn't minority children gain perspective on what it means to be white by growing up with a white family? Either you believe that the experiences of whites are much easier to understand than those of minorities, or you think that the experiences of whites are less worth knowing. I can't see what other reason you have for the difference in importance when it comes to race.

A darker skinned mixed child can have the choice by refusing to bow to what society tells them they are. Yes they will be treated as Black but if they refuse to accept it there is not much anyone can do about the fact that they are indeed half white. I know kids like that now.

It may be a poor example to you but you may not understand about how important hair is to Black females. In a society where race is not an issue a child with a white adopted mother would have no qualms about going to a Black source for information. There are cultural differences between the ethnicities to deny that is an insult and indicative of why a white couple would have a harder time raising a black child. You just dont seem to get it.

If whites were one of the groups historically and presently discriminated against I would believe they should be offered to a white couple as a first option. Even so I still think its important but less of an urgent need for white children. As society stands they have no burden to bear being of the ethnicity thats is acclaimed to be superior. A minority child in the home of a white couple would not learn as much. You forget white culture is promoted at every turn. It is taught in school and every time you turn on the TV. Its everywhere from the fact Christopher Columbus is hailed as discovering America to whatever is the top rated show on TV to the first president being a white person. Everything else is secondary and that is reflected in the fact that most people know very little about the history of minorities in this country.

Blacks are not some homogenous culture. There are cultural differences among blacks. So this idea that a black family is going to have some predetermined cultural identity because of their race is absurd. Race and culture are separate things. In fact, I think that the insistence on combining the two is part of the problem.

So you think that white parents will be unwilling to find a good source of information for taking care of a black child's hair? Not only do you assume they will have no black friends with whom to discuss the issue, but I guess they have no access to the internet either?

If skin color is only important if the individual chooses to make it important by accepting being treated a certain way, you are contradicting yourself. All that needs to happen for minority children adopted by white parents is the parents teach the children not to accept being treated that way. Therefore, the race of the parents is immaterial.

If differences in race between parent and child are important, that should hold true for biological and adoptive parents.

The more ways we find to separate people based on race, the longer race will remain a divisive issue. This is all the more true when it comes to children.

The differences between all Black cultures are minute in comparison with the difference in Black culture and white culture. Every single Black family does not necessarily have a Black culture but the chances are astronomically greater that a Black family will have a Black culture. Does that make sense?

Yes I think that a white adoptive couple may have qualms about gathering information from a variety of Black sources based on comfort level, amount of Black friends, and their interaction with Black people in general. I applaud those that do make the effort but my point is that a Black couple would not need to do that. They already know. Did you really say the internet? Thats what I'm talking about. You cant teach Black culture via the internet you can only teach facts devoid of emotion or context.

I'm not contradicting myself. I could claim to be white since I technically do have Irish blood. However that is not realistic. I made a choice to embrace my Black culture. Most people chose a side culturally in order to belong to a group. My parents taught me not to let people dictate my choices as well. However I am most comfortable around my people as we understand each other. We look alike and at most times share a common experience in this society. A white couple cannot teach that because they have no point of reference. Many mixed children, adopted Black children, and children of Black parents that raise their kids in predominantly white areas devoid of any Black culture have a hard time with this unseen dynamic. I know too many of them that have anywhere from slight to severe problems with their identity because of this. They end up getting it from both sides. They are shunned by Black people for acting white and of course they get the daily reminders just living in this society that they are Black.

A very simple resolution exists to the race problem. Accept and respect the validity of other peoples cultures. Listen instead of trying to dictate. White people in general have a very bad problem with this one. They seem to think they have all the answers instead of listening. Their are real differences. Embrace that and stop pretending everyone is tan.

 

[Unkotare]

I suppose every rational person reading this can see by now that this racist fucking douchebag is part of the problem and every bit as vile and divisive - as corrosive to our nation - as any other racist of any color.

 

[Sunshine]

I suppose every rational person reading this can see by now that this racist fucking douchebag is part of the problem and every bit as vile and divisive - as corrosive to our nation - as any other racist of any color.

I hate to say 'I told you so.' Not really.

The facts are that most white people cannot prepare a Black child for what they are going to experience in this society. They simply have no frame of reference. What a black couple knows simply through experience a white couple would have to take the equivalent of the hours needed to obtain a BA or BS or more and still not be able to cover everything. However, if a Black couple cannot be found then the child should go to the next qualified adoptive parent. I agree with Penny(!) that it should be as close culturally to the child's reality as possible. A foster home can be a great place but I think the status of being adopted as opposed to being fostered is significant to these kids. Using horror stories about foster, adoptive, and biological parents is not fair as all have their issues. These social workers are educated in their field and they know this reality. If they are picking foster homes over adoptive homes then they are to be trusted as they know whats best for the child.

Really, can you cite these supposed "facts" that you claim to exist?
Let us slightly change your words and see if you agree that the statement is racist.

The facts are that most black people cannot prepare a white child for what they are going to experience in this society. They simply have no frame of reference. What a white couple knows simply through experience a black couple would have to take the equivalent of the hours needed to obtain a BA or BS or more and still not be able to cover everything. However, if a white couple cannot be found then the child should go to the next qualified adoptive parent. I agree with Penny(!) that it should be as close culturally to the child's reality as possible. A foster home can be a great place but I think the status of being adopted as opposed to being fostered is significant to these kids. Using horror stories about foster, adoptive, and biological parents is not fair as all have their issues. These social workers are educated in their field and they know this reality. If they are picking foster homes over adoptive homes then they are to be trusted as they know whats best for the child.

He is a racist. He will never get your point.