Adoption

[Againsheila]

The problem here is the adoption process is difficult and long. It makes me wonder if that was the law...if the adoption process here would get better.

I agree that it seems that they make more difficult to adopt here, ironically it seems to be the same people who complain about the lack of children being adopted here, that make it so hard to adopt a child. I do think that a "fostering" turned into adoption process is good with children who are older, that way if any issues arise the child can still be protected. If they make it through the "foster" process after a certain amount of time, then I think adoption could be granted.

lots of things here.... states do not want fosters to adopt, they may lose fosters. Fosters usual will not adopt, as fostering is a money making business......

I do agree that older children should have interaction with potential adoptive parents and the adoption should be what all parties involved want.

I have friends who fostered to adopt 2 children. There was a 3rd they fostered, but the parents took him back before they could adopt him.

 

[Sunshine]

Money shouldn't even come into the equation. Nor color/race.

That post has to show the least thought of any I have EVER seen posted on a forum. Yeah, let's just place kids in slums with gang members and in Appalachian shacks. Just farm then out anywhere. Because money doesn't matter at all, just sock them out there with homeless families living in homeless shelters. No reason any of that wouldn't work for orphans, they haven't lost enough and those pulled from abusive homes haven't been abused enough. Let's put them in boarding homes with mentally ill and retarded adoptive parents who can't care for themselves, let alone a child, and who don't know they shouldn't fuck their own children. Money doesn't matter at all. Not in the least! Let's make their lives complete and make them live in abject poverty along with everything else. The suggestion that money shouldn't come into the equation is the stupidest post I have ever read on a forum anywhere. Looks you finally won a prize for something.

 

[Asclepias]

Money shouldn't even come into the equation. Nor color/race.

That post has to show the least thought of any I have EVER seen posted on a forum. Yeah, let's just place kids in slums with gang members and in Appalachian shacks. Just farm then out anywhere. Because money doesn't matter at all, just sock them out there with homeless families living in homeless shelters. No reason any of that wouldn't work for orphans, they haven't lost enough and those pulled from abusive homes haven't been abused enough. Let's put them in boarding homes with mentally ill and retarded adoptive parents who can't care for themselves, let alone a child, and who don't know they shouldn't fuck their own children. Money doesn't matter at all. Not in the least! Let's make their lives complete and make them live in abject poverty along with everything else. The suggestion that money shouldn't come into the equation is the stupidest post I have ever read on a forum anywhere. Looks you finally won a prize for something.

I've never seen money love someone and provide encouragement. On the other hand I have seen people without two dimes to rub together have a strong family unit and raise outstanding children. Money is important but only for the lifestyle it can afford you. If you are a pedo, asshole, child abuser, or any other type of negative human, money only enables you to be a more effective pedo, etc. Children dont need a surplus of money to be happy. Your time is more important than money.

 

[Luissa]

Money shouldn't even come into the equation. Nor color/race.

That post has to show the least thought of any I have EVER seen posted on a forum. Yeah, let's just place kids in slums with gang members and in Appalachian shacks. Just farm then out anywhere. Because money doesn't matter at all, just sock them out there with homeless families living in homeless shelters. No reason any of that wouldn't work for orphans, they haven't lost enough and those pulled from abusive homes haven't been abused enough. Let's put them in boarding homes with mentally ill and retarded adoptive parents who can't care for themselves, let alone a child, and who don't know they shouldn't fuck their own children. Money doesn't matter at all. Not in the least! Let's make their lives complete and make them live in abject poverty along with everything else. The suggestion that money shouldn't come into the equation is the stupidest post I have ever read on a forum anywhere. Looks you finally won a prize for something.

Because that is what she meant, psycho. I do love how you took her statement and translated it into all that.


Sent from my iPhone using the tears of Raider's fans.

 

[DGS49]

About 20 years ago, there was a prominent news story in Pittsburgh about an interracial parenting situation. It seems that a prosperous, white, suburban couple had volunteered with the County Children and Youth Services to be foster parents to a kid, any kid. (Wife was infertile, later corrected). Since this is all public record, I will identify the couple as Mike and Karen Derzak.

As luck would have it, they were contacted by CYS some time later and told that there was an infant boy, son of a "crack whore," if you will, who was born addicted to cocaine, and needed a home where the foster parents had significant patience and resources to work through the kids' issues. The kid was referred to in the papers as "Baby Byron."

So they took Baby Byron and worked through all his issues over the first year or so of his life. The birth mother was going through rehab and whatnot. In fact, the mother was constantly on the border of homelessness, constantly fighting her demons, and with the aid of the local Legal Aid group, fighting to regain custody of Baby Byron.

The Derzak's understood their commitment to CYS, which included a commitment NOT to seek to adopt their foster child, but of course they had grown accustomed to having the little tyke around and they sued CYS for the right to apply for adoption, and to have the mother's parental rights removed. Meanwhile the mother found time to pop out another crack-addicted baby, this one a girl (Byrae), who was also fostered out to the Derzaks.

Very long and tedious story short: the Derzak's lost, the mother won, temporarily, and ultimately Byron and Byrae were adopted by a fine, middle-class black family with 2 or 3 other kids. Byron was a problem child, always getting into trouble with other kids of similar pigment and propensities, and the adoptive family ultimately moved out to Idaho (I think it was) to get Byron away from these influences. But as soon as he was old enough to drive, he ran away back to Pittsburgh and began living on the streets.

The Derzak's have reached out to him from time to time, but they have refused to support him in a life bordering on the criminal. Not surprisingly, Byron is the father of at least one bastard child on the streets of Pittsburgh.

He is currently incarcerated. Alas, the acorn doesn't fall very far from the tree.

Were the Derzak's the best option for Byron? Had they adopted him, he would have gone to schools in the lily-white North Allegheny School System, lived in posh white suburbs, and had adult supervision throughout his childhood. Had he needed emotional or academic help at any time, there would have been counselors, psychologists, tutors, and parental assistance to help him along. There is essentially no racial tension in these areas as their is essentially no critical mass of Blacks to have its own sub-community.

Would the Derzak's have taken him to social and athletic fields in Pittsburgh's Black neighborhoods to give him some sense of "who he is"? Maybe.

It's an interesting case, but I don't know what to make of it.

 

[Godboy]

You know, I really do try to be color blind.. Blacks and Hispanics that I work with day in and day out are absolutely great people.. We all work together in unity because without teamwork, we'd all fall apart, regardless of color.. We help each other if we need to borrow some money or need help on something at the job.. We work as one..

Now, dealing with the public.. I have 2 jobs as of right now and I go to school, one is at a pharmaceutical plant and the other is a server job(Working with the public)

What you notice working in the public is that when you are serving guests, whites and Hispanics tend to not complain much at all about anything.. Tonight at work, I had waited on a table of 4 African Americans, their bill was $95.. 2 teenagers, 1 over 18, and the mother.. Did everything I possibly could for them, kept them satisfied the whole time with no complaints, and at the end she didn't leave a tip..

Now was it because I was white?? I just don't know.. Even the black servers at the restaurant talk about how much that blacks tip(our wait staff there is 50% white/40% black/10% Hispanic) so it may not even be that.. Most leave maybe 5%-9% or not at all no matter what amounts of effort or service is provided.. No joke, the other African American servers say "I love serving white people, they don't complain, tip well, and don't cause us any stress.." I have heard it on a lot of occasions.. As far as the numbers go percentage wise, I would say about 70% of African Americans through my past year experience leave 9% or less..

Another instance I had tonight, the Lady ordered Seafood plate(Lobster, Crab cake, Grilled Shrimp, Garden Bar, Baked Potato) for $18.99
Knowing what its cost was for higher quality food, she received it and she was like "I am not gonna pay for this, take it back, let me speak to a manager now"
Okay, so I did, and she just started going off on a rant cursing and this and that.. Now of course we're talking Lobster, crab, shrimp, 2 sides, of course it's not gonna be a cheaper meal.. But anyways, we got it taken off..


But just real talk.. I don't know if anybody else has had to experience this side of things, but that will be what you notice.. This isn't to down any race at all, but it is just what I experience day in and day out dealing with race..

My experience is the same. I worked in the club industry and hip hop nights were always a bust when it came to tips. You would make more in one night serving white people than you could in 2-3 nights serving black people. That culture is cheap as fuck, and rude too.

 

[Unkotare]

Things People Say to Adopted Children - mom.me

 

[Sunshine]

Money shouldn't even come into the equation. Nor color/race.

That post has to show the least thought of any I have EVER seen posted on a forum. Yeah, let's just place kids in slums with gang members and in Appalachian shacks. Just farm then out anywhere. Because money doesn't matter at all, just sock them out there with homeless families living in homeless shelters. No reason any of that wouldn't work for orphans, they haven't lost enough and those pulled from abusive homes haven't been abused enough. Let's put them in boarding homes with mentally ill and retarded adoptive parents who can't care for themselves, let alone a child, and who don't know they shouldn't fuck their own children. Money doesn't matter at all. Not in the least! Let's make their lives complete and make them live in abject poverty along with everything else. The suggestion that money shouldn't come into the equation is the stupidest post I have ever read on a forum anywhere. Looks you finally won a prize for something.

I've never seen money love someone and provide encouragement. On the other hand I have seen people without two dimes to rub together have a strong family unit and raise outstanding children. Money is important but only for the lifestyle it can afford you. If you are a pedo, asshole, child abuser, or any other type of negative human, money only enables you to be a more effective pedo, etc. Children dont need a surplus of money to be happy. Your time is more important than money.

And you would shit a squealing worm if one of your little black abused children was to be placed in a home where the parents couldn't give him financial security. Hypocrite.

 

[Unkotare]

Things People Say to Adopted Children - mom.me

Some of the things people say (and to children!) are pretty shockingly thoughtless if not downright cruel.

 

[Sunshine]

Things People Say to Adopted Children - mom.me

Some of the things people say (and to children!) are pretty shockingly thoughtless if not downright cruel.

But given what we read in the news, I'm not sure that those questions are all that far out. They were just inappropriate to ask in front of the children.

It is a natural human trait to try to connect the dots. My older sister who died a few months ago was adopted. She didn't look like our mom the way my brother and I did, so people said she looked like our dad. Only, she really didn't. My dad's family lived two counties away and all had hair as black as a raven's wing. My sister's was a sandy red. My dad's was prematurely gray. They just mentally connected the dots that way even though they were wrong.

 

[Unkotare]

Things People Say to Adopted Children - mom.me

Some of the things people say (and to children!) are pretty shockingly thoughtless if not downright cruel.

But given what we read in the news, I'm not sure that those questions are all that far out. They were just inappropriate to ask in front of the children. .

They are inappropriate to ask anyone.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

It just came up on another thread that some African American social workers are opposed to interracial adoption. It was suggested they'd rather black children stay in foster homes than be adopted by white couples.

I was wondering - without prejudice aforethought - how African American USMB members feel about the issue.


Of course, it is an interesting question for any of our members of any 'race.' The question can be imagined for any combination of would-be parents and children up for adoption.

Must admit I have mixed feelings about it. Was adopted myself so have no objection to it on the whole level, but adopted other ethnicities seems wrong to me. A loss of ethnic heritage and identity. Especially when from other countries like India, Africa, Asian countries to white families in North America. It seems too commercialized and 'fad-oriented' or something. White parents adopting non-white children from abroad seems like stealing somehow. Or even slavery. Shouldn't children grow up among their own ethnic culture and identity? Pleanty of kids right here to adopt afterall.

On the other hand, mixing ethnicities together is good for genes and inevitable anyway. Maybe it's just some left-over racism in me that has me thinking of it in negative terms?

 

[Unkotare]

It just came up on another thread that some African American social workers are opposed to interracial adoption. It was suggested they'd rather black children stay in foster homes than be adopted by white couples.

I was wondering - without prejudice aforethought - how African American USMB members feel about the issue.


Of course, it is an interesting question for any of our members of any 'race.' The question can be imagined for any combination of would-be parents and children up for adoption.

Must admit I have mixed feelings about it. Was adopted myself so have no objection to it on the whole level, but adopted other ethnicities seems wrong to me. A loss of ethnic heritage and identity. Especially when from other countries like India, Africa, Asian countries to white families in North America.

And that, little Billy, is where racism comes from.