I am shaking. Just...shaking.

[Gracie]

I can't. They live here. Today was the 30 day notice I gave them. They have 30 days.
And...brother in law is happy cuz he said he wants to go back to arizona and has been wanting to for some time now...according to SIL. So..pretty sure that is where they will go. And, BIL loves his brother. He will not stalk us or do anything else. He is childlike again, as I said. I will just avoid him and it will be ok.

I just needed to talk about it cuz I was freaked out.

 

[Vandalshandle]

No problem, Gracie. I understand. I see this a lot in my community of elderly retirees.

 

[Mertex]

Glad you're okay Gracie....be sure and watch out for him while they are still living with you. He may not seem dangerous to you, but you never know. Don't back out of having them move, you don't need someone like that living under your roof. Take care....

 

[CaféAuLait]

Brother in law just attacked me again. But thank goodness he didn't get hold of me. Hubby was standing there and so was sisterinlaw. He tried very hard to get past them and the look on his face was.....crazy. And he is.
Since his last stroke...he has been losing more brain cells. He is usually quiet, but he blew up because his tv wasn't working. And if his tv isn't working, all hell breaks loose. This time, the sisterinlaw was yelling, he was yelling, neither one would listen to me or hubby trying to explain we have activate their new cable boxes before it will work and he turned to me and began yelling he was going to KILL YOUUUUUUUUUUU!

After hubby got him out of the room, I said "that's it. I refuse to live with a violent person. get out".
Hubby agreed. His brother is just too dangerous now. Time to go.

But my hands are still shaking.

So sorry to hear, hugs you way.

Could this be the issue with a history of strokes?

Aggressive Behavior After a Stroke

Whatever the reason is you don't deserve to be treated like that.

 

[westwall]

Brother in law just attacked me again. But thank goodness he didn't get hold of me. Hubby was standing there and so was sisterinlaw. He tried very hard to get past them and the look on his face was.....crazy. And he is.
Since his last stroke...he has been losing more brain cells. He is usually quiet, but he blew up because his tv wasn't working. And if his tv isn't working, all hell breaks loose. This time, the sisterinlaw was yelling, he was yelling, neither one would listen to me or hubby trying to explain we have activate their new cable boxes before it will work and he turned to me and began yelling he was going to KILL YOUUUUUUUUUUU!

After hubby got him out of the room, I said "that's it. I refuse to live with a violent person. get out".
Hubby agreed. His brother is just too dangerous now. Time to go.

But my hands are still shaking.

I'm sorry you had to experience that Gracie. No one should ever have to suffer that. I am glad your hubby was able to prevent harm.

 

[JakeStarkey]

Brother in law just attacked me again. But thank goodness he didn't get hold of me. Hubby was standing there and so was sisterinlaw. He tried very hard to get past them and the look on his face was.....crazy. And he is.
Since his last stroke...he has been losing more brain cells. He is usually quiet, but he blew up because his tv wasn't working. And if his tv isn't working, all hell breaks loose. This time, the sisterinlaw was yelling, he was yelling, neither one would listen to me or hubby trying to explain we have activate their new cable boxes before it will work and he turned to me and began yelling he was going to KILL YOUUUUUUUUUUU!

After hubby got him out of the room, I said "that's it. I refuse to live with a violent person. get out".
Hubby agreed. His brother is just too dangerous now. Time to go.

But my hands are still shaking.

Sorry for that. He needs to be institutionalized if he is a threat to others and himself.

 

[Political Junky]

So sorry to hear that happened to you. Yes, he should be institutionalized, for the protection of others and himself.

 

[dr.d]

Unfortunately...a violent person on involuntary hospitalization is released as soon as some shrink deems him not to be an "imminent" danger...that can be just a couple of days and typically involves no follow up.
Scary that Gracie's assailment, who is evidently dangerously mentally ill..has unfettered use and ownership of a gun.


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[Chuckt]

Unfortunately...a violent person on involuntary hospitalization is released as soon as some shrink deems him not to be an "imminent" danger...that can be just a couple of days and typically involves no follow up.
Scary that Gracie's assailment, who is evidently dangerously mentally ill..has unfettered use and ownership of a gun.


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Unless it is jail, he will be out when the insurance runs out.

 

[Gracie]

He is not going to jail. Tomorrow, I plan on having sil get his gun and give it to me for safe keeping until they move out.
We all met in the dining room and had a talk. BIL claims he would not have hurt me. He said he does not hit women. I reminded him of him hitting me a few years ago and he had the deer in headlights look on his face. He doesn't remember.
Meanwhile, it looks like they are going to move to Modesto so his daughter can help SIL take care of him. They will either be gone by the 15th of next month, maybe as early as the first. Whichever makes no nevermind to me.
But at least everyone is calmed down and he is in major denial so if that keeps him at ease with himself and while in this house, then I plan to let him stay in denial. I also plan to stay away from him and SIL is no longer allowed to go to the store or the swap meet or to her kareoke bar or anywhere else unless my husband is home. They both cannot be gone and leave him alone with me in this house. I told her if I caught her not here, and my husband is not here, I would call the sheriff. He is not to be in this house with just me here and nobody else. I also said he is to stay in their part of the house. I said I can handle them being here until they get moved out and his kids come up to help them move. But only on those terms. Both agreed, but BIL looked confused on why I gave those terms. I think he already forgot.

 

[Gracie]

Meanwhile, both SIL and BIL told some whoppers to their relatives. They said I just told them to move. So now their relatives think hubby and I are just being mean. Eye roll.

 

[Mertex]

He is not going to jail. Tomorrow, I plan on having sil get his gun and give it to me for safe keeping until they move out.
We all met in the dining room and had a talk. BIL claims he would not have hurt me. He said he does not hit women. I reminded him of him hitting me a few years ago and he had the deer in headlights look on his face. He doesn't remember.
Meanwhile, it looks like they are going to move to Modesto so his daughter can help SIL take care of him. They will either be gone by the 15th of next month, maybe as early as the first. Whichever makes no nevermind to me.
But at least everyone is calmed down and he is in major denial so if that keeps him at ease with himself and while in this house, then I plan to let him stay in denial. I also plan to stay away from him and SIL is no longer allowed to go to the store or the swap meet or to her kareoke bar or anywhere else unless my husband is home. They both cannot be gone and leave him alone with me in this house. I told her if I caught her not here, and my husband is not here, I would call the sheriff. He is not to be in this house with just me here and nobody else. I also said he is to stay in their part of the house. I said I can handle them being here until they get moved out and his kids come up to help them move. But only on those terms. Both agreed, but BIL looked confused on why I gave those terms. I think he already forgot.

Sounds like he is in the beginning stages of dementia. Some people suffering from dementia get mean, and being a man he could very well overtake you, Gracie. It's good that you made it clear that you don't want to be alone with him, make sure they stick to it....and lock your door to your bedroom at night.

 

[Granny]

I'm truly sorry to hear about this, Gracie. You've done right to get any abuser out of your house.

I'm not sure asking SIL to give you his gun for safekeeping is enough. Maybe checking with your local authorities about having his permit (assuming the gun is registered) revoked altogether and turn the thing in if possible. I'd also make sure he can't gain access to your gun. If all else fails, please check with some elder care agency (your city's or county's council on aging or whatever it might be called) as to what can and can't be done not only for his sake but everyone else as well.

 

[Gracie]

They are moving. I am happy with that. It is not my place to find an agency to care for him. That's his wifes job.

 

[CaféAuLait]

They are moving. I am happy with that. It is not my place to find an agency to care for him. That's his wifes job.

I agree, but if also wonder with the behavior you're describing if she is not afraid of him, or abused as well?

 

[jon_berzerk]

Brother in law just attacked me again. But thank goodness he didn't get hold of me. Hubby was standing there and so was sisterinlaw. He tried very hard to get past them and the look on his face was.....crazy. And he is.
Since his last stroke...he has been losing more brain cells. He is usually quiet, but he blew up because his tv wasn't working. And if his tv isn't working, all hell breaks loose. This time, the sisterinlaw was yelling, he was yelling, neither one would listen to me or hubby trying to explain we have activate their new cable boxes before it will work and he turned to me and began yelling he was going to KILL YOUUUUUUUUUUU!

After hubby got him out of the room, I said "that's it. I refuse to live with a violent person. get out".
Hubby agreed. His brother is just too dangerous now. Time to go.

But my hands are still shaking.

you did the right thing

it is hard sometimes

but you have to separate yourself from

that sort of shit

 

[Gracie]

They are moving. I am happy with that. It is not my place to find an agency to care for him. That's his wifes job.

I agree, but if also wonder with the behavior you're describing if she is not afraid of him, or abused as well?

He has gone after her, too. She said she will not put him in a home and will let his daughter decide what to do. He is in bed. She and I were outside having a cig. I told her to call his daughter and her family and tell them the truth...that he has choked her often and they need to know and to stop covering for him. His brains are fried. The man she married is not the same person. They need to know the truth.

 

[Gracie]

It's been a pretty sucky day, to be honest. Looks like tonight isn't any better either.

 

[Asclepias]

Sorry to hear this happened to you. Be safe.

 

[jon_berzerk]

It's been a pretty sucky day, to be honest. Looks like tonight isn't any better either.

it does suck

moreso to watch people slip away

into persons you can no longer recognize