In 2016... What the hell does "Gay" even mean?

[LoneLaugher]

I feel sorry for the OP. Looks like he spent a long night struggling with his sexual identity. The pictures of "attractive" males he's posted look gay.

I think this thread is in the wrong place. I will assist.

 

[Toro]

Not that's there's anything wrong with that.

 

[Skull Pilot]

Gay used to be a perfectly fine word to describe joyful emotion it has been co opted to the detriment of the language

 

[Coloradomtnman]

I think gay is slang for homosexual. How did you get so confused about what gay means?

Well okay.. so what makes one a "homosexual" then? Do you have to engage in homosexual relations? Or is it just the simple attraction that makes you gay? And what if you are some combination of both? Or any of the myriad of examples I presented? Where do we actually define this "gayness" thing?

You should invest in a dictionary or poll people that may be gay. I think you have worked yourself into a lather over this. May I ask why you are so bent out of shape over it? Did you meet a guy that turned you on or something?

Perhaps it is something about reading text as opposed to hearing the spoken word but for some reason you've interpreted my comments to be "bent out of shape" and I can only assure you that is not the case. I am not the least bit "bent out of shape" or "worked into a lather" over this. I am merely positing a topic for discussion among adult people on the forum and you're welcome to interject your opinion.

Since you asked.. I often meet men who I consider sexually attractive. They don't arouse me sexually but I can see how they would arouse a female or someone who is attracted to sexy males. I'm personally attracted to sexy females but I can acknowledge the sexual appeal of another individual. Does that make me gay?

No, it makes you bi.

 

[Coloradomtnman]

I think gay is slang for homosexual. How did you get so confused about what gay means?

Well okay.. so what makes one a "homosexual" then? Do you have to engage in homosexual relations? Or is it just the simple attraction that makes you gay? And what if you are some combination of both? Or any of the myriad of examples I presented? Where do we actually define this "gayness" thing?

You should invest in a dictionary or poll people that may be gay. I think you have worked yourself into a lather over this. May I ask why you are so bent out of shape over it? Did you meet a guy that turned you on or something?

Perhaps it is something about reading text as opposed to hearing the spoken word but for some reason you've interpreted my comments to be "bent out of shape" and I can only assure you that is not the case. I am not the least bit "bent out of shape" or "worked into a lather" over this. I am merely positing a topic for discussion among adult people on the forum and you're welcome to interject your opinion.

Since you asked.. I often meet men who I consider sexually attractive. They don't arouse me sexually but I can see how they would arouse a female or someone who is attracted to sexy males. I'm personally attracted to sexy females but I can acknowledge the sexual appeal of another individual. Does that make me gay?

Dude you wrote a large paragraph. Its not that serious.

I would think it made you bi sexual. I can never tell when a guy would be appealing to women.

Well okay... exhibit A:

If you can't tell this guys is appealing to women, that's pretty odd.

Am I "bisexual" because I think he is a sexy ass mofo? I would never have homosexual relations with him... he doesn't arouse me sexually... but I think he is very sexually appealing... I wish the fuck I looked like that!

He looks like a meathead douchebag and I don't understand why women would want to have sex with him.

You're bisexual.

 

[playtime]

wow... you put WAY too much thought into that. seriously dude...who cares? will your life change by getting an answer?

 

[Billy_Kinetta]

Well okay.. so what makes one a "homosexual" then? Do you have to engage in homosexual relations? Or is it just the simple attraction that makes you gay? And what if you are some combination of both? Or any of the myriad of examples I presented? Where do we actually define this "gayness" thing?

Andrew Dice Clay said it best -

"Ya either suck cock, or you don't."

 

[aaronleland]

Boss is SO gay.

 

[Asclepias]

There is nothing wrong or 'homosexual' about being able to appreciate the beauty of another person's physical atributes of the same gender & doesn't qualify as being gay or homosexual or even having such tendencies.
I think a true homosexual person is one that is only sexually attracted to the same gender. BUT there are many out there that 'claim' they are gay, but are really only following the crowd because it's kind of the 'big' thing to do. A type of rebellion.


But, am I the only one that remembers the word 'gay' meant happy? And homosexuals were called queer?

Who said anything was wrong with it? I just find it odd that he would find another man sexually attractive and not be gay or bi. Yes I remember when gay meant happy. I never heard the word queer until I was on this site.

Really? What about fag or faggot? All terms used to indicate a homosexual up to around late 70's, early 80's maybe?

Really. Yes I have heard fag. We would call people that all the time to make fun of them.

 

[bodecea]

I am serious here... what does it actually mean this day and age? Is a person "gay" because they are attracted to the same gender? Or do they have to act upon their attraction and have a homosexual relationship to qualify? If someone acknowledges that someone of the same gender is sexually appealing, does that make them gay? What if you are physically attracted to both genders? Are you gay by default? Do you have to engage in actual sexual relationships and how far can you go without being actually gay? What if you get turned on by making yourself intentionally attractive to same gender but you're not interested in having sexual relations? Like a gay tease? Is that gay? Does that make you a gay person? What if you enjoy the mystique of the closet gay lifestyle, slipping around and frequenting gay bars to have promiscuous sex with same gender but you are happily married to the opposite gender? Does that mean you're gay or straight? What if you are completely heterosexual but you enjoy entertaining people dressed as a transgender? Are you gay then? What if you are straight but attracted to same gender transsexuals? What if you don't have sex at all and you love all people of both genders and see them as equally appealing sexually? Is that gay? What if you have been straight your entire life, always knew you were straight, never had any desire to be with the same gender physically and you get drunk one night and have homosexual relations... are you made gay by that one-off? What if you're in high school and you don't really know what you are and you experiment with homosexual relations but decide you didn't like it... can you become "ungay" or are you forever gay?

Just curious... it seems we've painted ourselves into a rather bigoted corner.

Just curious, eh?

 

[bodecea]

I think gay is slang for homosexual. How did you get so confused about what gay means?

Well okay.. so what makes one a "homosexual" then? Do you have to engage in homosexual relations? Or is it just the simple attraction that makes you gay? And what if you are some combination of both? Or any of the myriad of examples I presented? Where do we actually define this "gayness" thing?

The phrase "homosexual" is probably racist now. They use Cis or Xi or something now. "Homosexual" is so 1990s bro.

Some idiots like Miley Cyrus don't even acknowledge homo or hetero. They just say sex is sex and no label matters they just do what feels good.

There is no more male or female or hetero or homo man.

It's just 1 person and 1 other person doing shit. Whatevs.

I see you've given some serious thought to this.

 

[Asclepias]

You know exactly what I'm talking about. You said that guy was sexually attractive. If he is attractive to you then you are attracted to him.

I am attracted to a well-cooked T-bone steak... I don't want to have sex with it. I think Halle Berry is a sexually attractive female but she is not my type, she doesn't turn me on sexually. I think George Clooney is a sexually attractive male but I don't get a boner when I see him without a shirt... I don't have fantasies about him... I wouldn't have sex with him... I'm not sexually stimulated by him. I've never found another male to be sexually arousing but I can often acknowledge sexually attractive men.

My ex wife used to be crazy about Sean Connery. She said he was the sexiest man alive... I never really saw that.. he seemed handsome in a way, but I thought Roger Moore and Pierce Brosnan were sexier James Bonds. Back in my single days when I went out clubbing, looking to pick up women, I wanted to go with guys who were sexy looking like me and not some dumpy nerds who couldn't pick up chicks... but I didn't want to go with guys who were hotter than me either.

I've just never had the problem with recognizing sexual attractiveness in both males and females and I don't understand how any male really does because it's perfectly natural and it's okay. It doesn't make you gay. Much of my career, I spent making men more attractive in the way they dress and present themselves to appeal to the female market. Sexual attractiveness is such a huge part of marketing and it's very important to know what works and what doesn't. That said, in my field, there were a lot of "gay" males. But really... in 2016... why do we cling to these ambiguous labels that simply keep us segregated? It seems so dumb and backward-thinking to me.

You keep saying its natural to find other men sexually attractive and I disagree. If I dont know what makes a male sexually attractive to women how would I know what makes a male sexually attractive to me since I am only attracted to women? I've asked women what was sexually attractive about myself and I have gotten all kinds of responses even from the same female. I honestly think you may be bi or gay if you find another man sexually attractive. Like I said before its no big deal because I understand sexuality is on a sliding scale.

 

[bodecea]

I think gay is slang for homosexual. How did you get so confused about what gay means?

Well okay.. so what makes one a "homosexual" then? Do you have to engage in homosexual relations? Or is it just the simple attraction that makes you gay? And what if you are some combination of both? Or any of the myriad of examples I presented? Where do we actually define this "gayness" thing?

You should invest in a dictionary or poll people that may be gay. I think you have worked yourself into a lather over this. May I ask why you are so bent out of shape over it? Did you meet a guy that turned you on or something?

Perhaps it is something about reading text as opposed to hearing the spoken word but for some reason you've interpreted my comments to be "bent out of shape" and I can only assure you that is not the case. I am not the least bit "bent out of shape" or "worked into a lather" over this. I am merely positing a topic for discussion among adult people on the forum and you're welcome to interject your opinion.

Since you asked.. I often meet men who I consider sexually attractive. They don't arouse me sexually but I can see how they would arouse a female or someone who is attracted to sexy males. I'm personally attracted to sexy females but I can acknowledge the sexual appeal of another individual. Does that make me gay?

Dude you wrote a large paragraph. Its not that serious.

I would think it made you bi sexual. I can never tell when a guy would be appealing to women.

Well okay... exhibit A:

If you can't tell this guys is appealing to women, that's pretty odd.

Am I "bisexual" because I think he is a sexy ass mofo? I would never have homosexual relations with him... he doesn't arouse me sexually... but I think he is very sexually appealing... I wish the fuck I looked like that!

Interesting choice considering he's bi-sexual.

 

[Disgruntled_American]

I think gay is slang for homosexual. How did you get so confused about what gay means?

Well okay.. so what makes one a "homosexual" then? Do you have to engage in homosexual relations? Or is it just the simple attraction that makes you gay? And what if you are some combination of both? Or any of the myriad of examples I presented? Where do we actually define this "gayness" thing?

It's not that hard. homosexual is someone that is attracted to the same sex. Why is that so hard?

 

[bodecea]

Who are you to force everyone to the morality of your fucking religon? I say fuck you!

The only people trying to force their morality and religion on others are homo-progressive atheists.

So...evangelical christians are gay? That's priceless!

 

[mdk]

Gay is like Gozer. It's whatever it wants to be.

 

[bodecea]

There is nothing wrong or 'homosexual' about being able to appreciate the beauty of another person's physical atributes of the same gender & doesn't qualify as being gay or homosexual or even having such tendencies.
I think a true homosexual person is one that is only sexually attracted to the same gender. BUT there are many out there that 'claim' they are gay, but are really only following the crowd because it's kind of the 'big' thing to do. A type of rebellion.


But, am I the only one that remembers the word 'gay' meant happy? And homosexuals were called queer?

I don't know that I'd use the word 'many'. There aren't that many homosexuals in general, at least compared to total population, and I doubt that anything close to a majority of those who identify as gay are just rebelling.

Come on out to Seattle and surrounding areas, more than you can shake a stick at.

How do you know that the people identifying as gay are not actually gay?

And before this goes further, I find it entirely plausible that some people, particularly young people, might claim to be gay as a form of rebellion, or to fit in with a particular crowd, things like that. It just seems unlikely to me that it would be particularly widespread.

You're right I don't, but those who claim gay identity has skyrocketed in just the past few years, more so than ever before. Yes part of this is because of 'coming out of the closet' and being more widely accepted than the old 'shame on you' attitudes of history. But all of it?

Or...maybe they aren't afraid to admit it anymore. Did you think of that?

 

[Montrovant]

YOU don't find the men sexually attractive unless you are sexually attracted to them. If you see how they are attractive to others, but not to you, then you don't find them sexually attractive. I don't know why you keep repeating this. You are basically saying, "I find these people attractive, but I don't find them attractive.". It doesn't make sense.

No... I can certainly find people sexually attractive and not be aroused sexually by their sexual attractiveness.

Person A:

Person B:

You're honestly trying to tell me that you don't see any differentiation between the sexual attractiveness of Person A and Person B? ...Really?

In other words, you don't find them sexually attractive, you instead recognize their sexual attractiveness to others.

The phrase 'I find so-and-so sexually attractive' is saying that the person is good-looking to you; the person has qualities you look for in a sexual partner; the person arouses you. 'I find' makes it about what you personally think of the person.

If you actually read what I've been saying to you you'd know that nothing I've said means you cannot see a difference in the looks of two men. However, if you don't consider either man desirable, you find neither one sexually attractive.

Let's look at the Mona Lisa. If you don't particularly care for the painting, but you recognize things about it that others are impressed by, would you say you find it beautiful? Of course not. You might say you can see why others find it beautiful, but you wouldn't say that you find it beautiful. This is the same kind of situation. You don't find the men sexually attractive, but you can see why others do.

What is so difficult to understand here?

 

[bodecea]

Gay means the same thing in 2016 that it meant in 1990, 1950, 1850, etc. If you're a man and you're gay you like to take it up the ass. Disgusting I know. But thats what it means.

I find it fascinating how you think of the sex act when you talk of gay people...When I talk of straight people, I don't immediately default to thinking of what they do for sex.

 

[Montrovant]

Well you already said that you found another man sexually attractive so its hard to believe you.

I havent judged you I am trying to help you sort out your feelings for other men.

Thats a long paragraph and you admitted you were exasperated. Yes its common knowledge unless you have been living under a rock for a couple of decades.

No... I wrote an average paragraph in compliance with standard English composition. I admitted I am exasperated by this ambiguous label of 'gay' which doesn't seem to have any definitive parameters other than opinions. It's simply NOT common knowledge or we'd all be in agreement on this and we're obviously not.

I do find other men sexually attractive. Not sexually arousing to me personally but I prefer women. I find some women very sexually unattractive and unarousing... does that mean I'm not straight? I sometimes find lesbian women sexually attractive and arousing... does that mean I'm gay again? Watching two guys make out doesn't do anything for me but I don't mind watching two women make out.

It's the 21st century man... Sexuality is beyond our trite little catchphrases we've invented to denigrate, insult, ostracize, ridicule, condemn, exploit or use against people we don't like. I'm not the one living under the rock.... you seem to be.

YOU don't find the men sexually attractive unless you are sexually attracted to them. If you see how they are attractive to others, but not to you, then you don't find them sexually attractive. I don't know why you keep repeating this. You are basically saying, "I find these people attractive, but I don't find them attractive.". It doesn't make sense.

love is beyond skin deep, love in the person inside

Yes, but I'm discussing sexual attraction.