Is There NEVER a Time to Hit a Woman? NEVER?

[BluePhantom]

Yeah...you called me out and you were totally wrong. You are making assumptions just like Chris is but you really don't know and frankly you don't care. In your mind a white man and a black man can't have that kind of a relationship. If that is not racist I don't know what is

That's very far from the truth. I just don't believe your ridiculous story. Let's recap your story of Fred, the friend who could not protect you from scary racist black people at an Earth, Wind, and Fire concert.

but racism is not a white institution. Sorry...these guys were assholes and fuck them. But it goes both ways. My best man at my wedding was a black man named Fred (I am white). Fred and I are still close. He always said when it came to music I had far too much soul for a white boy. LOL. We both love Earth, Wind and Fire. We would drive to school and sing. We had worked out the harmonies and sang together incredibly. I saw that EWF was playing in our city and I went to Fred all excited and said "we have to go". Fred looked at the venue and said "you can't go".

I was confused and didn't understand. I said "this is our band. We have to go" and he said. "I am sorry you can't go. I can't protect you if you go" Racism goes both ways

Now lets look at the scary people who attend Earth, Wind, and Fire concerts.



You're full of shit.

It wasn't the band that was the problem, genius; it was where they were playing. I am guessing you haven't spent a lot of time in Pittsburgh or you would be aware that Homewood and the Hill District are two of the most dangerous neighborhoods in the United States. Think it would be a good idea for a 24 year old, upper middle class white boy to go strolling through Compton after dark? PROBABLY, not the wisest course of action. Those neighborhoods re every bit as bad (and probably worse).

If my black friend who had lived in Pittsburgh all his life says I can't go there for an event taking place after dark, I think it's probably wise to take his advice don't you?

OMG, that's laughable. EWF has no scary venue, with scary racist people attending. Is it possible that "Fred" just doesn't want to be seen with you?

OMG you CAN'T be this dense. A band does not create the venue and they don't book the venue. Their manager arranges it and the band shows up and plays there. You know EWF doesn't exactly sell out Heinz Field anymore. By 1993, when this went down, they were not selling out much of anything. Their sound had changed, their records were not selling well, and they had just come back from a three year hiatus. They were in the middle stages of their history where their glory days were over and it was too soon for them to sell out major arenas as a classic band. When they played that show in Pittsburgh it was a very low point for them and getting a booking at a huge venue that was in a better part of town wasn't going to happen. They took what they could get at the time which happened to be a very small venue in a part of town wasn't safe for 24 year old upper middle class white boys to go walking around in. .How hard is that to understand?

No one is talking about who creates the venue. That's not the point.
You used Fred, your pretend friend, to validate your racist views on scary black people, when you were trying to prove that racism goes both ways.

In the past and in the present, EWF crowds are mostly middle age white folks, and they don't play in areas where you would need protection from scary black people. Stop being such a wuss.

The only person insisting Fred is imaginary is you because apparently it's inconceivable to you that a black man and a white man can not only be friends, but that I would ask a black man to stand for me at my wedding. You are INCREDIBLY racist for dismissing that. You are also arrogant for insisting that simply because you insist it's not the truth that it somehow constitutes some form of evidence. You said earlier that you caught me in a lie about my friend Fred...you didn't catch me in shit. All you did was display your racist views and insist I could not possible have a black friend and then insisted that was somehow "proof".

Then you chase me from thread to thread harassing me about my friend and being a general racist bitch. You don't know shit Carla. You don't know my life, you don't know who my friends are. You don't know the life I have lived. You don't know what my experiences have been and frankly you are an idiot for assuming you do. Who the fuck do you think you are making such assumptions and accusations?

Like I said...DT described you in several ways. I notice "intelligent" wasn't one of them.

 

[Carla_Danger]

Carla is neither racist nor mysandrist, BP, and I have never seen her post anything that even verges on either of those positions.

As you posted yourself it is possible to misunderstand what someone is saying because the written word lacks ability to convey, tone, expression, etc.

Carla is witty and outspoken and could very well have been sarcastic in what you misperceived as racism and mysandry.

But I will leave it up to the both of you to sort that out between yourselves.

Oh I don't think I am misunderstanding anything, brother. Your experience has clearly been different than mine and I will leave it at that so as to avoid drawing you in the middle, but based on past exchanges between the two of us, I have very little doubt that she is BOTH a racist and a mysandrist. But as you said...that's our issue and not yours.

Oh come on now. You're just a big baby. You couldn't handle two women giving you a piece of their mind, so you accused me and Esmeralda of being socks.

No it was very simple. You believe women should have superior rights to men. That makes you a mysandrist. Only you can try to spin it some other way.

You're a big baby and a control freak, upset that you can't have any control over the decisions women make concerning their bodies.

And here we go with the "men are just trying to control women's bodies" bullshit. The typical mysandrist rhetoric when you can't debate the merits of the argument. No wonder DT described you as "witty" instead of "intelligent".

I'll wait here while you go find the quote showing I dislike men.

 

[Carla_Danger]

That's very far from the truth. I just don't believe your ridiculous story. Let's recap your story of Fred, the friend who could not protect you from scary racist black people at an Earth, Wind, and Fire concert.

Now lets look at the scary people who attend Earth, Wind, and Fire concerts.



You're full of shit.

It wasn't the band that was the problem, genius; it was where they were playing. I am guessing you haven't spent a lot of time in Pittsburgh or you would be aware that Homewood and the Hill District are two of the most dangerous neighborhoods in the United States. Think it would be a good idea for a 24 year old, upper middle class white boy to go strolling through Compton after dark? PROBABLY, not the wisest course of action. Those neighborhoods re every bit as bad (and probably worse).

If my black friend who had lived in Pittsburgh all his life says I can't go there for an event taking place after dark, I think it's probably wise to take his advice don't you?

OMG, that's laughable. EWF has no scary venue, with scary racist people attending. Is it possible that "Fred" just doesn't want to be seen with you?

OMG you CAN'T be this dense. A band does not create the venue and they don't book the venue. Their manager arranges it and the band shows up and plays there. You know EWF doesn't exactly sell out Heinz Field anymore. By 1993, when this went down, they were not selling out much of anything. Their sound had changed, their records were not selling well, and they had just come back from a three year hiatus. They were in the middle stages of their history where their glory days were over and it was too soon for them to sell out major arenas as a classic band. When they played that show in Pittsburgh it was a very low point for them and getting a booking at a huge venue that was in a better part of town wasn't going to happen. They took what they could get at the time which happened to be a very small venue in a part of town wasn't safe for 24 year old upper middle class white boys to go walking around in. .How hard is that to understand?

No one is talking about who creates the venue. That's not the point.
You used Fred, your pretend friend, to validate your racist views on scary black people, when you were trying to prove that racism goes both ways.

In the past and in the present, EWF crowds are mostly middle age white folks, and they don't play in areas where you would need protection from scary black people. Stop being such a wuss.

The only person insisting Fred is imaginary is you because apparently it's inconceivable to you that a black man and a white man can not only be friends, but that I would ask a black man to stand for me at my wedding. You are INCREDIBLY racist for dismissing that. You are also arrogant for insisting that simply because you insist it's not the truth that it somehow constitutes some form of evidence. You said earlier that you caught me in a lie about my friend Fred...you didn't catch me in shit. All you did was display your racist views and insist I could not possible have a black friend and then insisted that was somehow "proof".

Then you chase me from thread to thread harassing me about my friend and being a general racist bitch. You don't know shit Carla. You don't know my life, you don't know who my friends are. You don't know the life I have lived. You don't know what my experiences have been and frankly you are an idiot for assuming you do. Who the fuck do you think you are making such assumptions and accusations?

Like I said...DT described you in several ways. I notice "intelligent" wasn't one of them.

The argument is not that a white man and a black man can't be friends, you idiot boob. That was your same straw man argument towards those of us who didn't buy your garbage on the other thread. It didn't work. Sorry, but I just don't buy your ridiculous story about your black friend not being able to protect you at an Earth, Wind, and Fire concert.

Your story is ridiculous and you know it. I brought it up because this story of you having to hit a woman is just as suspect.

If you don't want people commenting on this shit you spew, keep your personal life off the public forum, otherwise I'm going to give you my 2 cents.

 

[Carla_Danger]

Like I said...DT described you in several ways. I notice "intelligent" wasn't one of them.

And btw, I am also going to point out that you are the only one trying to drag Deri into this. I think it's pretty sorry of you, and it definitely shows your lack of character. Maybe you should call Fred to come to your rescue instead.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread. It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed. I am going to share something personal with you. I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser. Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can. It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.

In my case my ex-girlfriend and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before. She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support. She didn't do well. Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis. Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous. She started using pans and statuettes to attack me. I took it for many reasons. One, I didn't want to lose my daughter. Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances. It didn't get better.

After a few months I realized I had to get rid of her . She had started threatening my life and the life of our daughter if I ever left her. I had not hit her because I refused to hit a woman but she beat me black and blue a few times a week. All I did was try to fend off her attacks. One week she kept saying that she was going to kill me. I tried my best to calm her down but the night came. I don't know why I woke up but for whatever reason I awoke to find her over me with a 12" chef's knife in her hand. She thrust it down at me and I rolled out of the way and it stuck in the bed. She wasn't kidding around. She pulled it out of the bed and lunged at me stabbing and slashing at me and then I did it. I clocked her dead in the face. She stumbled back and gathered herself and screamed "how dare you hit me" and charged me again with the knife above her head screaming like a banshee. I deflected her stab, kicked her in the crotch, and punched her in the throat. She went down and I took the knife from her and called the police.

The police told me that since there were only marks on her they would have to arrest me for domestic violence and of course she screamed that I attacked her for no reason. It never came to that, but I had to endure three more months of her abuse until she was stupid enough to attack me in front of a witness. Then I was able to get rid of her and keep my child.

I have no doubt in my mind that she would have killed me had I not clocked her. I have no doubt in my mind that had I not endured it until I had a witness that allowed me to keep my daughter that my daughter would be dead now. She would have killed her.

So that's my "why I stayed" story. I look back on it often given the recent "it's NEVER ok to hit a woman" stuff and think to myself "people who say that have never experienced what I have experienced or the thousands of men who have abusive wives/girlfriends". Sometimes it IS ok I think. I am completely convinced that had I not clocked that girl I would be dead now and my daughter may be as well.

I think there IS a time to hit a woman. I think the circumstances are very select and a man should show restraint to only use violence to stop the threat, but in certain circumstances...it's justified. My experience with that girl has taught me that I don't care who it is. If someone (man or woman) is attacking me and I feel I am in danger of real harm I am going to take that person out to the best of my abilities and gender doesn't matter to me at all.

I welcome your thoughts.

Time for physical force isn't sex-dependent. If someone's out of control a good smack can help.

 

[ChrisL]

I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread. It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed. I am going to share something personal with you. I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser. Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can. It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.

In my case my ex-girlfriend and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before. She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support. She didn't do well. Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis. Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous. She started using pans and statuettes to attack me. I took it for many reasons. One, I didn't want to lose my daughter. Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances. It didn't get better.

After a few months I realized I had to get rid of her . She had started threatening my life and the life of our daughter if I ever left her. I had not hit her because I refused to hit a woman but she beat me black and blue a few times a week. All I did was try to fend off her attacks. One week she kept saying that she was going to kill me. I tried my best to calm her down but the night came. I don't know why I woke up but for whatever reason I awoke to find her over me with a 12" chef's knife in her hand. She thrust it down at me and I rolled out of the way and it stuck in the bed. She wasn't kidding around. She pulled it out of the bed and lunged at me stabbing and slashing at me and then I did it. I clocked her dead in the face. She stumbled back and gathered herself and screamed "how dare you hit me" and charged me again with the knife above her head screaming like a banshee. I deflected her stab, kicked her in the crotch, and punched her in the throat. She went down and I took the knife from her and called the police.

The police told me that since there were only marks on her they would have to arrest me for domestic violence and of course she screamed that I attacked her for no reason. It never came to that, but I had to endure three more months of her abuse until she was stupid enough to attack me in front of a witness. Then I was able to get rid of her and keep my child.

I have no doubt in my mind that she would have killed me had I not clocked her. I have no doubt in my mind that had I not endured it until I had a witness that allowed me to keep my daughter that my daughter would be dead now. She would have killed her.

So that's my "why I stayed" story. I look back on it often given the recent "it's NEVER ok to hit a woman" stuff and think to myself "people who say that have never experienced what I have experienced or the thousands of men who have abusive wives/girlfriends". Sometimes it IS ok I think. I am completely convinced that had I not clocked that girl I would be dead now and my daughter may be as well.

I think there IS a time to hit a woman. I think the circumstances are very select and a man should show restraint to only use violence to stop the threat, but in certain circumstances...it's justified. My experience with that girl has taught me that I don't care who it is. If someone (man or woman) is attacking me and I feel I am in danger of real harm I am going to take that person out to the best of my abilities and gender doesn't matter to me at all.

I welcome your thoughts.

Time for physical force isn't sex-dependent. If someone's out of control a good smack can help.

Sometimes a person might have some mental issues or something, so no, a "smack" isn't going to do anything except piss the person off even more sometimes and escalate the situation. The correct thing to do is to gather your things and leave, even if only for the night or something. Whatever you have to do.

 

[Ravi]

Yeah...you called me out and you were totally wrong. You are making assumptions just like Chris is but you really don't know and frankly you don't care. In your mind a white man and a black man can't have that kind of a relationship. If that is not racist I don't know what is

That's very far from the truth. I just don't believe your ridiculous story. Let's recap your story of Fred, the friend who could not protect you from scary racist black people at an Earth, Wind, and Fire concert.

but racism is not a white institution. Sorry...these guys were assholes and fuck them. But it goes both ways. My best man at my wedding was a black man named Fred (I am white). Fred and I are still close. He always said when it came to music I had far too much soul for a white boy. LOL. We both love Earth, Wind and Fire. We would drive to school and sing. We had worked out the harmonies and sang together incredibly. I saw that EWF was playing in our city and I went to Fred all excited and said "we have to go". Fred looked at the venue and said "you can't go".

I was confused and didn't understand. I said "this is our band. We have to go" and he said. "I am sorry you can't go. I can't protect you if you go" Racism goes both ways

Now lets look at the scary people who attend Earth, Wind, and Fire concerts.



You're full of shit.

It wasn't the band that was the problem, genius; it was where they were playing. I am guessing you haven't spent a lot of time in Pittsburgh or you would be aware that Homewood and the Hill District are two of the most dangerous neighborhoods in the United States. Think it would be a good idea for a 24 year old, upper middle class white boy to go strolling through Compton after dark? PROBABLY, not the wisest course of action. Those neighborhoods re every bit as bad (and probably worse).

If my black friend who had lived in Pittsburgh all his life says I can't go there for an event taking place after dark, I think it's probably wise to take his advice don't you?

OMG, that's laughable. EWF has no scary venue, with scary racist people attending. Is it possible that "Fred" just doesn't want to be seen with you?

OMG you CAN'T be this dense. A band does not create the venue and they don't book the venue. Their manager arranges it and the band shows up and plays there. You know EWF doesn't exactly sell out Heinz Field anymore. By 1993, when this went down, they were not selling out much of anything. Their sound had changed, their records were not selling well, and they had just come back from a three year hiatus. They were in the middle stages of their history where their glory days were over and it was too soon for them to sell out major arenas as a classic band. When they played that show in Pittsburgh it was a very low point for them and getting a booking at a huge venue that was in a better part of town wasn't going to happen. They took what they could get at the time which happened to be a very small venue in a part of town wasn't safe for 24 year old upper middle class white boys to go walking around in. .How hard is that to understand?

No one is talking about who creates the venue. That's not the point.
You used Fred, your pretend friend, to validate your racist views on scary black people, when you were trying to prove that racism goes both ways.

In the past and in the present, EWF crowds are mostly middle age white folks, and they don't play in areas where you would need protection from scary black people. Stop being such a wuss.

I seriously doubt a self-respecting scary black person would ever, ever, ever attend an EWF concert.

 

[Carla_Danger]

I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread. It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed. I am going to share something personal with you. I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser. Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can. It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.

In my case my ex-girlfriend and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before. She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support. She didn't do well. Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis. Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous. She started using pans and statuettes to attack me. I took it for many reasons. One, I didn't want to lose my daughter. Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances. It didn't get better.

After a few months I realized I had to get rid of her . She had started threatening my life and the life of our daughter if I ever left her. I had not hit her because I refused to hit a woman but she beat me black and blue a few times a week. All I did was try to fend off her attacks. One week she kept saying that she was going to kill me. I tried my best to calm her down but the night came. I don't know why I woke up but for whatever reason I awoke to find her over me with a 12" chef's knife in her hand. She thrust it down at me and I rolled out of the way and it stuck in the bed. She wasn't kidding around. She pulled it out of the bed and lunged at me stabbing and slashing at me and then I did it. I clocked her dead in the face. She stumbled back and gathered herself and screamed "how dare you hit me" and charged me again with the knife above her head screaming like a banshee. I deflected her stab, kicked her in the crotch, and punched her in the throat. She went down and I took the knife from her and called the police.

The police told me that since there were only marks on her they would have to arrest me for domestic violence and of course she screamed that I attacked her for no reason. It never came to that, but I had to endure three more months of her abuse until she was stupid enough to attack me in front of a witness. Then I was able to get rid of her and keep my child.

I have no doubt in my mind that she would have killed me had I not clocked her. I have no doubt in my mind that had I not endured it until I had a witness that allowed me to keep my daughter that my daughter would be dead now. She would have killed her.

So that's my "why I stayed" story. I look back on it often given the recent "it's NEVER ok to hit a woman" stuff and think to myself "people who say that have never experienced what I have experienced or the thousands of men who have abusive wives/girlfriends". Sometimes it IS ok I think. I am completely convinced that had I not clocked that girl I would be dead now and my daughter may be as well.

I think there IS a time to hit a woman. I think the circumstances are very select and a man should show restraint to only use violence to stop the threat, but in certain circumstances...it's justified. My experience with that girl has taught me that I don't care who it is. If someone (man or woman) is attacking me and I feel I am in danger of real harm I am going to take that person out to the best of my abilities and gender doesn't matter to me at all.

I welcome your thoughts.

Time for physical force isn't sex-dependent. If someone's out of control a good smack can help.

Sometimes a person might have some mental issues or something, so no, a "smack" isn't going to do anything except piss the person off even more sometimes and escalate the situation. The correct thing to do is to gather your things and leave, even if only for the night or something. Whatever you have to do.

There's always two sides of the story. I'm sure the ex has quite a different version of events.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread. It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed. I am going to share something personal with you. I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser. Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can. It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.

In my case my ex-girlfriend and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before. She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support. She didn't do well. Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis. Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous. She started using pans and statuettes to attack me. I took it for many reasons. One, I didn't want to lose my daughter. Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances. It didn't get better.

After a few months I realized I had to get rid of her . She had started threatening my life and the life of our daughter if I ever left her. I had not hit her because I refused to hit a woman but she beat me black and blue a few times a week. All I did was try to fend off her attacks. One week she kept saying that she was going to kill me. I tried my best to calm her down but the night came. I don't know why I woke up but for whatever reason I awoke to find her over me with a 12" chef's knife in her hand. She thrust it down at me and I rolled out of the way and it stuck in the bed. She wasn't kidding around. She pulled it out of the bed and lunged at me stabbing and slashing at me and then I did it. I clocked her dead in the face. She stumbled back and gathered herself and screamed "how dare you hit me" and charged me again with the knife above her head screaming like a banshee. I deflected her stab, kicked her in the crotch, and punched her in the throat. She went down and I took the knife from her and called the police.

The police told me that since there were only marks on her they would have to arrest me for domestic violence and of course she screamed that I attacked her for no reason. It never came to that, but I had to endure three more months of her abuse until she was stupid enough to attack me in front of a witness. Then I was able to get rid of her and keep my child.

I have no doubt in my mind that she would have killed me had I not clocked her. I have no doubt in my mind that had I not endured it until I had a witness that allowed me to keep my daughter that my daughter would be dead now. She would have killed her.

So that's my "why I stayed" story. I look back on it often given the recent "it's NEVER ok to hit a woman" stuff and think to myself "people who say that have never experienced what I have experienced or the thousands of men who have abusive wives/girlfriends". Sometimes it IS ok I think. I am completely convinced that had I not clocked that girl I would be dead now and my daughter may be as well.

I think there IS a time to hit a woman. I think the circumstances are very select and a man should show restraint to only use violence to stop the threat, but in certain circumstances...it's justified. My experience with that girl has taught me that I don't care who it is. If someone (man or woman) is attacking me and I feel I am in danger of real harm I am going to take that person out to the best of my abilities and gender doesn't matter to me at all.

I welcome your thoughts.

Time for physical force isn't sex-dependent. If someone's out of control a good smack can help.

Sometimes a person might have some mental issues or something, so no, a "smack" isn't going to do anything except piss the person off even more sometimes and escalate the situation. The correct thing to do is to gather your things and leave, even if only for the night or something. Whatever you have to do.

If there's ever a time to hit a man, there's also a time to hit a woman. Being mentally ill doesn't pardon you. If you're doing something detrimental to public order or safety and you get hit, thank you lucky stars that's all that happened.

 

[ChrisL]

That's very far from the truth. I just don't believe your ridiculous story. Let's recap your story of Fred, the friend who could not protect you from scary racist black people at an Earth, Wind, and Fire concert.

Now lets look at the scary people who attend Earth, Wind, and Fire concerts.



You're full of shit.

It wasn't the band that was the problem, genius; it was where they were playing. I am guessing you haven't spent a lot of time in Pittsburgh or you would be aware that Homewood and the Hill District are two of the most dangerous neighborhoods in the United States. Think it would be a good idea for a 24 year old, upper middle class white boy to go strolling through Compton after dark? PROBABLY, not the wisest course of action. Those neighborhoods re every bit as bad (and probably worse).

If my black friend who had lived in Pittsburgh all his life says I can't go there for an event taking place after dark, I think it's probably wise to take his advice don't you?

OMG, that's laughable. EWF has no scary venue, with scary racist people attending. Is it possible that "Fred" just doesn't want to be seen with you?

OMG you CAN'T be this dense. A band does not create the venue and they don't book the venue. Their manager arranges it and the band shows up and plays there. You know EWF doesn't exactly sell out Heinz Field anymore. By 1993, when this went down, they were not selling out much of anything. Their sound had changed, their records were not selling well, and they had just come back from a three year hiatus. They were in the middle stages of their history where their glory days were over and it was too soon for them to sell out major arenas as a classic band. When they played that show in Pittsburgh it was a very low point for them and getting a booking at a huge venue that was in a better part of town wasn't going to happen. They took what they could get at the time which happened to be a very small venue in a part of town wasn't safe for 24 year old upper middle class white boys to go walking around in. .How hard is that to understand?

No one is talking about who creates the venue. That's not the point.
You used Fred, your pretend friend, to validate your racist views on scary black people, when you were trying to prove that racism goes both ways.

In the past and in the present, EWF crowds are mostly middle age white folks, and they don't play in areas where you would need protection from scary black people. Stop being such a wuss.

I seriously doubt a self-respecting scary black person would ever, ever, ever attend an EWF concert.

Earth, Wind and Fire = so gangsta.

 

[Bonzi]

In movies you see girls fighting guys all the time.... some women welcome and can handle the challenge.

Give me your best shot!

 

[ChrisL]

I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread. It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed. I am going to share something personal with you. I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser. Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can. It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.

In my case my ex-girlfriend and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before. She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support. She didn't do well. Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis. Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous. She started using pans and statuettes to attack me. I took it for many reasons. One, I didn't want to lose my daughter. Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances. It didn't get better.

After a few months I realized I had to get rid of her . She had started threatening my life and the life of our daughter if I ever left her. I had not hit her because I refused to hit a woman but she beat me black and blue a few times a week. All I did was try to fend off her attacks. One week she kept saying that she was going to kill me. I tried my best to calm her down but the night came. I don't know why I woke up but for whatever reason I awoke to find her over me with a 12" chef's knife in her hand. She thrust it down at me and I rolled out of the way and it stuck in the bed. She wasn't kidding around. She pulled it out of the bed and lunged at me stabbing and slashing at me and then I did it. I clocked her dead in the face. She stumbled back and gathered herself and screamed "how dare you hit me" and charged me again with the knife above her head screaming like a banshee. I deflected her stab, kicked her in the crotch, and punched her in the throat. She went down and I took the knife from her and called the police.

The police told me that since there were only marks on her they would have to arrest me for domestic violence and of course she screamed that I attacked her for no reason. It never came to that, but I had to endure three more months of her abuse until she was stupid enough to attack me in front of a witness. Then I was able to get rid of her and keep my child.

I have no doubt in my mind that she would have killed me had I not clocked her. I have no doubt in my mind that had I not endured it until I had a witness that allowed me to keep my daughter that my daughter would be dead now. She would have killed her.

So that's my "why I stayed" story. I look back on it often given the recent "it's NEVER ok to hit a woman" stuff and think to myself "people who say that have never experienced what I have experienced or the thousands of men who have abusive wives/girlfriends". Sometimes it IS ok I think. I am completely convinced that had I not clocked that girl I would be dead now and my daughter may be as well.

I think there IS a time to hit a woman. I think the circumstances are very select and a man should show restraint to only use violence to stop the threat, but in certain circumstances...it's justified. My experience with that girl has taught me that I don't care who it is. If someone (man or woman) is attacking me and I feel I am in danger of real harm I am going to take that person out to the best of my abilities and gender doesn't matter to me at all.

I welcome your thoughts.

Time for physical force isn't sex-dependent. If someone's out of control a good smack can help.

Sometimes a person might have some mental issues or something, so no, a "smack" isn't going to do anything except piss the person off even more sometimes and escalate the situation. The correct thing to do is to gather your things and leave, even if only for the night or something. Whatever you have to do.

If there's ever a time to hit a man, there's also a time to hit a woman. Being mentally ill doesn't pardon you. If you're doing something detrimental to public order or safety and you get hit, thank you lucky stars that's all that happened.

Of course it does. That is the whole thing about "mental illness." Lol. The person who is mentally is a person who cannot control him or herself. They need medicine and therapy, not smacking. Good Lord.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

Seen pleanty of "women" on reality shows I'd pay good money to wail on.

 

[ChrisL]

I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread. It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed. I am going to share something personal with you. I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser. Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can. It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.

In my case my ex-girlfriend and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before. She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support. She didn't do well. Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis. Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous. She started using pans and statuettes to attack me. I took it for many reasons. One, I didn't want to lose my daughter. Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances. It didn't get better.

After a few months I realized I had to get rid of her . She had started threatening my life and the life of our daughter if I ever left her. I had not hit her because I refused to hit a woman but she beat me black and blue a few times a week. All I did was try to fend off her attacks. One week she kept saying that she was going to kill me. I tried my best to calm her down but the night came. I don't know why I woke up but for whatever reason I awoke to find her over me with a 12" chef's knife in her hand. She thrust it down at me and I rolled out of the way and it stuck in the bed. She wasn't kidding around. She pulled it out of the bed and lunged at me stabbing and slashing at me and then I did it. I clocked her dead in the face. She stumbled back and gathered herself and screamed "how dare you hit me" and charged me again with the knife above her head screaming like a banshee. I deflected her stab, kicked her in the crotch, and punched her in the throat. She went down and I took the knife from her and called the police.

The police told me that since there were only marks on her they would have to arrest me for domestic violence and of course she screamed that I attacked her for no reason. It never came to that, but I had to endure three more months of her abuse until she was stupid enough to attack me in front of a witness. Then I was able to get rid of her and keep my child.

I have no doubt in my mind that she would have killed me had I not clocked her. I have no doubt in my mind that had I not endured it until I had a witness that allowed me to keep my daughter that my daughter would be dead now. She would have killed her.

So that's my "why I stayed" story. I look back on it often given the recent "it's NEVER ok to hit a woman" stuff and think to myself "people who say that have never experienced what I have experienced or the thousands of men who have abusive wives/girlfriends". Sometimes it IS ok I think. I am completely convinced that had I not clocked that girl I would be dead now and my daughter may be as well.

I think there IS a time to hit a woman. I think the circumstances are very select and a man should show restraint to only use violence to stop the threat, but in certain circumstances...it's justified. My experience with that girl has taught me that I don't care who it is. If someone (man or woman) is attacking me and I feel I am in danger of real harm I am going to take that person out to the best of my abilities and gender doesn't matter to me at all.

I welcome your thoughts.

Time for physical force isn't sex-dependent. If someone's out of control a good smack can help.

Sometimes a person might have some mental issues or something, so no, a "smack" isn't going to do anything except piss the person off even more sometimes and escalate the situation. The correct thing to do is to gather your things and leave, even if only for the night or something. Whatever you have to do.

There's always two sides of the story. I'm sure the ex has quite a different version of events.

Probably. That's usually the way it goes with a failed relationship.

 

[ChrisL]

Seen pleanty of "women" on reality shows I'd pay good money to wail on.

Okay, well if you meet someone that you really don't like, then it's probably not a good idea to start any kind of relationship with said person. That way, they aren't your problem. When already with someone, if you have an urge to strike them, it probably a good idea to just go at that point. Hitting and physically fighting is NOT going to solve any of the issues, is it?

 

[ChrisL]

If you are physically abusive or intimidating to a person, all you will accomplish is to make that person FEAR you. Is that the kind of relationship that anyone would want? Where your significant other is afraid of you? Afraid that if you get angry, you will hit him or her? And, if you are the victim, to try and counter that with violence of your own? Geesh, where does it end? Not anyplace good, I can tell you that much.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

If you are physically abusive or intimidating to a person, all you will accomplish is to make that person FEAR you. Is that the kind of relationship that anyone would want? Where your significant other is afraid of you? Afraid that if you get angry, you will hit him or her? And, if you are the victim, to try and counter that with violence of your own? Geesh, where does it end? Not anyplace good, I can tell you that much.

Not talking about relationships. Talking about having a vulva being some kind of magical protection against getting a well-deserved ass whooping. Women can be more annoying and stress-inducing than men to be certain. If one's going off all hysterical and throwing things, that she's a she isn't going to protect her from a man's well deserved wrath.

Wanna be equal, fine, but there are consequences. Treat you as my equal no problem, but gonna treat you like one of the boys and if you get uppity and it's justifiable (if not legally so) you're gonna get hit.

 

[ChrisL]

If you are physically abusive or intimidating to a person, all you will accomplish is to make that person FEAR you. Is that the kind of relationship that anyone would want? Where your significant other is afraid of you? Afraid that if you get angry, you will hit him or her? And, if you are the victim, to try and counter that with violence of your own? Geesh, where does it end? Not anyplace good, I can tell you that much.

Not talking about relationships. Talking about having a vulva being some kind of magical protection against getting a well-deserved ass whooping. Women can be more annoying and stress-inducing than men to be certain. If one's going off all hysterical and throwing things, that she's a she isn't going to protect her from a man's well deserved wrath.

Wanna be equal, fine, but there are consequences. Treat you as my equal no problem, but gonna treat you like one of the boys and if you get uppity and it's justifiable (if not legally so) you're gonna get hit.

You dumbass! This isn't about your immature "boys versus girls" war! People die from this shit, and people like YOU are encouraging it!

Domestic Violence Facts

 

[Delta4Embassy]

If you are physically abusive or intimidating to a person, all you will accomplish is to make that person FEAR you. Is that the kind of relationship that anyone would want? Where your significant other is afraid of you? Afraid that if you get angry, you will hit him or her? And, if you are the victim, to try and counter that with violence of your own? Geesh, where does it end? Not anyplace good, I can tell you that much.

Not talking about relationships. Talking about having a vulva being some kind of magical protection against getting a well-deserved ass whooping. Women can be more annoying and stress-inducing than men to be certain. If one's going off all hysterical and throwing things, that she's a she isn't going to protect her from a man's well deserved wrath.

Wanna be equal, fine, but there are consequences. Treat you as my equal no problem, but gonna treat you like one of the boys and if you get uppity and it's justifiable (if not legally so) you're gonna get hit.

You dumbass! This isn't about your immature "boys versus girls" war! People die from this shit, and people like YOU are encouraging it!

Domestic Violence Facts

Ever asked whether the victim of deomstic violence was a complete tool and deserved their fate? Ask that first time every time. You're like the vocal blacks siding with some pos who got roughed up by police never bothering to inquire whether this was some animal you'd gladly shove off a cliff. Men don't side with all men, so why should women all women, or blacks all blacks? It doesn't make much sense.

 

[ChrisL]

If you are physically abusive or intimidating to a person, all you will accomplish is to make that person FEAR you. Is that the kind of relationship that anyone would want? Where your significant other is afraid of you? Afraid that if you get angry, you will hit him or her? And, if you are the victim, to try and counter that with violence of your own? Geesh, where does it end? Not anyplace good, I can tell you that much.

Not talking about relationships. Talking about having a vulva being some kind of magical protection against getting a well-deserved ass whooping. Women can be more annoying and stress-inducing than men to be certain. If one's going off all hysterical and throwing things, that she's a she isn't going to protect her from a man's well deserved wrath.

Wanna be equal, fine, but there are consequences. Treat you as my equal no problem, but gonna treat you like one of the boys and if you get uppity and it's justifiable (if not legally so) you're gonna get hit.

You dumbass! This isn't about your immature "boys versus girls" war! People die from this shit, and people like YOU are encouraging it!

Domestic Violence Facts

Ever asked whether the victim of deomstic violence was a complete tool and deserved their fate? Ask that first time every time. You're like the vocal blacks siding with some pos who got roughed up by police never bothering to inquire whether this was some animal you'd gladly shove off a cliff. Men don't side with all men, so why should women all women, or blacks all blacks? It doesn't make much sense.

I'm not "siding" with anyone. I am saying, the best idea is to leave the bad situation ASAP before it escalates to abuse.