Is There NEVER a Time to Hit a Woman? NEVER?

[jon_berzerk]

I never said Bonzi was my real life sister. I said she was my "sister" as in a "sister from another Mister"..."a sister in Christ". Christians tend to talk like that about other Christians and call them "brothers" and "sisters". I wasn't lying, I simply wasn't clear what I meant and you took me literally. It was a misunderstanding, not deception.

Of course I took it literally. You said "Go easy on Bonzi. She is my sister". You meant to be deceptive, dude. Otherwise you would have been more clear.
But that's neither here nor there. However, it does tend to make me wary on whatever you say.

Shut up or I'll punch your face. Oops. Sorry baby. I love you it'll never happen again. And when I say never I mean not again this week.

if there ever comes a time

when this question is seriously raised in a relationship

it is time to end the relationship

There are cases you have to stay, because some people will NEVER let go

that is all the more reason to end the relationship

even if that means abruptly leaving the state

those types of situations are very dangerous

a powder keg waiting to be lit

I remember in highschool guys and gals would lose it if they were dumped or cheated on. Talk about killing themselves type crazy.

Most of us grew up. If we are or were in a bad relationship we left it. Anyone in a dysfunctional relationship must be mentally immature. I know it can happen to anyone but to stay in it?

oddly many do stay in really dysfunctional relationships

almost as if they feed on it

 

[jon_berzerk]

Of course I took it literally. You said "Go easy on Bonzi. She is my sister". You meant to be deceptive, dude. Otherwise you would have been more clear.
But that's neither here nor there. However, it does tend to make me wary on whatever you say.

Shut up or I'll punch your face. Oops. Sorry baby. I love you it'll never happen again. And when I say never I mean not again this week.

if there ever comes a time

when this question is seriously raised in a relationship

it is time to end the relationship

There are cases you have to stay, because some people will NEVER let go

that is all the more reason to end the relationship

even if that means abruptly leaving the state

those types of situations are very dangerous

a powder keg waiting to be lit

It's a scary thing either way and some people just don't have the courage, but, fortunately they are rare cases (I hope...)

hopefully they have a support network family and friends

I would never put my family or friends in the middle of that, sometimes the only answer is to disappear

sometimes one has to reach out to a family member or a friend in order to disappear

 

[sealybobo]

if there ever comes a time

when this question is seriously raised in a relationship

it is time to end the relationship

There are cases you have to stay, because some people will NEVER let go

Get a gun then file a restraining order and just wait for them to break the order.

If someone is that way they need to die. "Will never let go?" Put them in prison with a big black queer who "will never let go".

 

[sealybobo]

Shut up or I'll punch your face. Oops. Sorry baby. I love you it'll never happen again. And when I say never I mean not again this week.

There are cases you have to stay, because some people will NEVER let go

that is all the more reason to end the relationship

even if that means abruptly leaving the state

those types of situations are very dangerous

a powder keg waiting to be lit

It's a scary thing either way and some people just don't have the courage, but, fortunately they are rare cases (I hope...)

hopefully they have a support network family and friends

I would never put my family or friends in the middle of that, sometimes the only answer is to disappear

sometimes one has to reach out to a family member or a friend in order to disappear

You shouldn't have to disappear. These people aren't former slaves.

We should have an underground railroad for abused people.

 

[Bonzi]

I never said Bonzi was my real life sister. I said she was my "sister" as in a "sister from another Mister"..."a sister in Christ". Christians tend to talk like that about other Christians and call them "brothers" and "sisters". I wasn't lying, I simply wasn't clear what I meant and you took me literally. It was a misunderstanding, not deception.

Of course I took it literally. You said "Go easy on Bonzi. She is my sister". You meant to be deceptive, dude. Otherwise you would have been more clear.
But that's neither here nor there. However, it does tend to make me wary on whatever you say.

Shut up or I'll punch your face. Oops. Sorry baby. I love you it'll never happen again. And when I say never I mean not again this week.

if there ever comes a time

when this question is seriously raised in a relationship

it is time to end the relationship

There are cases you have to stay, because some people will NEVER let go

that is all the more reason to end the relationship

even if that means abruptly leaving the state

those types of situations are very dangerous

a powder keg waiting to be lit

I remember in highschool guys and gals would lose it if they were dumped or cheated on. Talk about killing themselves type crazy.

Most of us grew up. If we are or were in a bad relationship we left it. Anyone in a dysfunctional relationship must be mentally immature. I know it can happen to anyone but to stay in it?

oddly many do stay in really dysfunctional relationships

almost as if they feed on it

Mostly it's fear and lack of courage, plus men that beat women physically also do it emotionally and they are a shell

 

[jon_berzerk]

that is all the more reason to end the relationship

even if that means abruptly leaving the state

those types of situations are very dangerous

a powder keg waiting to be lit

It's a scary thing either way and some people just don't have the courage, but, fortunately they are rare cases (I hope...)

hopefully they have a support network family and friends

I would never put my family or friends in the middle of that, sometimes the only answer is to disappear

sometimes one has to reach out to a family member or a friend in order to disappear

You shouldn't have to disappear. These people aren't former slaves.

We should have an underground railroad for abused people.

in a perfect world i would agree

however we do not live in a perfect world

 

[Bonzi]

that is all the more reason to end the relationship

even if that means abruptly leaving the state

those types of situations are very dangerous

a powder keg waiting to be lit

It's a scary thing either way and some people just don't have the courage, but, fortunately they are rare cases (I hope...)

hopefully they have a support network family and friends

I would never put my family or friends in the middle of that, sometimes the only answer is to disappear

sometimes one has to reach out to a family member or a friend in order to disappear

You shouldn't have to disappear. These people aren't former slaves.

We should have an underground railroad for abused people.

Like I said, some people can't let go. There was a story on tv where the woman got a restraining order, was on her way to court and he shot her

 

[jon_berzerk]

Of course I took it literally. You said "Go easy on Bonzi. She is my sister". You meant to be deceptive, dude. Otherwise you would have been more clear.
But that's neither here nor there. However, it does tend to make me wary on whatever you say.

Shut up or I'll punch your face. Oops. Sorry baby. I love you it'll never happen again. And when I say never I mean not again this week.

if there ever comes a time

when this question is seriously raised in a relationship

it is time to end the relationship

There are cases you have to stay, because some people will NEVER let go

that is all the more reason to end the relationship

even if that means abruptly leaving the state

those types of situations are very dangerous

a powder keg waiting to be lit

I remember in highschool guys and gals would lose it if they were dumped or cheated on. Talk about killing themselves type crazy.

Most of us grew up. If we are or were in a bad relationship we left it. Anyone in a dysfunctional relationship must be mentally immature. I know it can happen to anyone but to stay in it?

oddly many do stay in really dysfunctional relationships

almost as if they feed on it

Mostly it's fear and lack of courage, plus men that beat women physically also do it emotionally and they are a shell

men who beat on women do it as control

emotionally and /or physically

 

[jon_berzerk]

It's a scary thing either way and some people just don't have the courage, but, fortunately they are rare cases (I hope...)

hopefully they have a support network family and friends

I would never put my family or friends in the middle of that, sometimes the only answer is to disappear

sometimes one has to reach out to a family member or a friend in order to disappear

You shouldn't have to disappear. These people aren't former slaves.

We should have an underground railroad for abused people.

Like I said, some people can't let go. There was a story on tv where the woman got a restraining order, was on her way to court and he shot her

yes i had a LPN that worked in my home care several years ago

that was in a really sick relationship

she ended up putting a rat tail file through his belly

and out his back one night

 

[Bonzi]

I'd rather be dead that living in fear constantly looking over my shoulder

 

[Bonzi]

hopefully they have a support network family and friends

I would never put my family or friends in the middle of that, sometimes the only answer is to disappear

sometimes one has to reach out to a family member or a friend in order to disappear

You shouldn't have to disappear. These people aren't former slaves.

We should have an underground railroad for abused people.

Like I said, some people can't let go. There was a story on tv where the woman got a restraining order, was on her way to court and he shot her

yes i had a LPN that worked in my home care several years ago

that was in a really sick relationship

she ended up putting a rat tail file through his belly

and out his back one night

In the worst of these situations, some does and often both or others in the way as well

 

[sealybobo]

It's a scary thing either way and some people just don't have the courage, but, fortunately they are rare cases (I hope...)

hopefully they have a support network family and friends

I would never put my family or friends in the middle of that, sometimes the only answer is to disappear

sometimes one has to reach out to a family member or a friend in order to disappear

You shouldn't have to disappear. These people aren't former slaves.

We should have an underground railroad for abused people.

Like I said, some people can't let go. There was a story on tv where the woman got a restraining order, was on her way to court and he shot her

Areal Castro, the guy who kidnapped 3 girls for ten years, told his ex wife he'd kill her if she pressed charges. Or he'd buy her a car if she didn't. She never pressed charges but he never bought her a car either.

Women in abusive relationships probably saw signs early but stayed because they thought they could change them, blame themselves, hope they won't do it again, are afraid or financially dependent on the person.


I'm sure it's never easy to leave.

My advice is get a gun and tell the police. That way they won't be surprised when they end up dead. Stay alert for 1 month. If they haven't bothered you in a month they are over you.

 

[sealybobo]

Shut up or I'll punch your face. Oops. Sorry baby. I love you it'll never happen again. And when I say never I mean not again this week.

There are cases you have to stay, because some people will NEVER let go

that is all the more reason to end the relationship

even if that means abruptly leaving the state

those types of situations are very dangerous

a powder keg waiting to be lit

I remember in highschool guys and gals would lose it if they were dumped or cheated on. Talk about killing themselves type crazy.

Most of us grew up. If we are or were in a bad relationship we left it. Anyone in a dysfunctional relationship must be mentally immature. I know it can happen to anyone but to stay in it?

oddly many do stay in really dysfunctional relationships

almost as if they feed on it

Mostly it's fear and lack of courage, plus men that beat women physically also do it emotionally and they are a shell

men who beat on women do it as control

emotionally and /or physically

Women who mentally abuse men do it to control.

 

[jon_berzerk]

that is all the more reason to end the relationship

even if that means abruptly leaving the state

those types of situations are very dangerous

a powder keg waiting to be lit

I remember in highschool guys and gals would lose it if they were dumped or cheated on. Talk about killing themselves type crazy.

Most of us grew up. If we are or were in a bad relationship we left it. Anyone in a dysfunctional relationship must be mentally immature. I know it can happen to anyone but to stay in it?

oddly many do stay in really dysfunctional relationships

almost as if they feed on it

Mostly it's fear and lack of courage, plus men that beat women physically also do it emotionally and they are a shell

men who beat on women do it as control

emotionally and /or physically

Women who mentally abuse men do it to control.

yes it goes both ways

hence "sick relationships"

 

[sealybobo]

I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread. It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed. I am going to share something personal with you. I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser. Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can. It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.

In my case my ex-girlfriend and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before. She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support. She didn't do well. Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis. Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous. She started using pans and statuettes to attack me. I took it for many reasons. One, I didn't want to lose my daughter. Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances. It didn't get better.

After a few months I realized I had to get rid of her . She had started threatening my life and the life of our daughter if I ever left her. I had not hit her because I refused to hit a woman but she beat me black and blue a few times a week. All I did was try to fend off her attacks. One week she kept saying that she was going to kill me. I tried my best to calm her down but the night came. I don't know why I woke up but for whatever reason I awoke to find her over me with a 12" chef's knife in her hand. She thrust it down at me and I rolled out of the way and it stuck in the bed. She wasn't kidding around. She pulled it out of the bed and lunged at me stabbing and slashing at me and then I did it. I clocked her dead in the face. She stumbled back and gathered herself and screamed "how dare you hit me" and charged me again with the knife above her head screaming like a banshee. I deflected her stab, kicked her in the crotch, and punched her in the throat. She went down and I took the knife from her and called the police.

The police told me that since there were only marks on her they would have to arrest me for domestic violence and of course she screamed that I attacked her for no reason. It never came to that, but I had to endure three more months of her abuse until she was stupid enough to attack me in front of a witness. Then I was able to get rid of her and keep my child.

I have no doubt in my mind that she would have killed me had I not clocked her. I have no doubt in my mind that had I not endured it until I had a witness that allowed me to keep my daughter that my daughter would be dead now. She would have killed her.

So that's my "why I stayed" story. I look back on it often given the recent "it's NEVER ok to hit a woman" stuff and think to myself "people who say that have never experienced what I have experienced or the thousands of men who have abusive wives/girlfriends". Sometimes it IS ok I think. I am completely convinced that had I not clocked that girl I would be dead now and my daughter may be as well.

I think there IS a time to hit a woman. I think the circumstances are very select and a man should show restraint to only use violence to stop the threat, but in certain circumstances...it's justified. My experience with that girl has taught me that I don't care who it is. If someone (man or woman) is attacking me and I feel I am in danger of real harm I am going to take that person out to the best of my abilities and gender doesn't matter to me at all.

I welcome your thoughts.

Kevin Hart's character in get hard with will pharrell was in a loving relationship and his wife beat him. Have you seen the movie? He's telling his old lady he's going to teach will how to survive prison. To be hard. She laughs at him and he says " bitch I can be hard" and she says what the hell did you say to me and starts bitch slapping him.

We aren't all the same and not all situations are the same. What's the difference between Kevin harts character and yours? Because there's a difference. I can't put my finger on why her punches were OK or not reason for her to be arrested. Is it because she didn't go to far? You say by hitting him she did. Was it because he deserved it? In their culture you don't disrespect a woman like that. Is it OK that black women will hit you if you call them bitch? Probably not but what if she's a good person besides this one flaw?

I think that's it. Bet your old lady had more than just this one fatal flaw. Of course she did if she walked away from her child. Everyone knows women like that are selfish, but I probably don't have to tell you that.

I wonder how many loving men or women with zero problems in their marriages would kill their spouse or themselves if the other one left. My mother's dying of Alzheimer's and she's killing my dad. He's her primary caregiver and she needs a lot of physical and emotional attention. He will be better off when shes gone. And he'd be better off if she was in a home. But he says if she dies he wants to die too. What if 30 years ago she left him for another man? I could see him losing it. Lol yes love makes people crazy.

 

[sealybobo]

I would hope that I would have left a person long before it escalated into a situation like that. Geesh! Thankfully nobody has ever tried to kill me before is all I can say.

Based on how you argue here I could see a guy leaving you so he doesn't go to jail.

All hot chicks are a little crazy. Usually the hotter the crazier

 

[Bonzi]

And some people are just crazy.....

 

[sealybobo]

i dunn believe you bro

nuttin personal tho

Because women are so so angelic that they are incapable of attacking men? Your response is exactly why men don't report it when they have been abused.

nah...
cuz thats attempted murder and most leo's arent that incompetent to not address it as such.

Yeah...prove it. Like to cops said. She had marks and I didn't. They threatened to arrest ME dude.

I have a lot more compassion for a woman who gets herself in an abusive relationship. Sorry to say if you go back far enough in the relationship you will find you got yourself into that relationship. And when was the first time she hit you like a bitch? How did you handle it? How did YOU get yourself in this situation? What would you do different if you could do it again?

 

[sealybobo]

I'd rather be dead that living in fear constantly looking over my shoulder

Then you would commit suicide?

 

[Valerie]

If you are abused you have a right to defend yourself. Why the attempted gender war?

he just wants to share all his infinite wisdom about love... he's a stage 5 Christian, donthchaknow...

If you have never wanted to kill someone you have never been in love.