make your own "the most interesting man in the world" bits

[shart_attack]

The disposable lighters he uses never run out of fuel.

 

[shart_attack]

He has never heard "crickets" — except for that one time back in '89 when they were too noisy, and he told them to shut up so he could get some sleep.

 

[shart_attack]

He regularly gets laid at Sinead O'Connor concerts.

 

[shart_attack]

He once spent just $1 to make a music video — and won more awards for it than both Kanye West AND Taylor Swift.

 

[shart_attack]

He regularly plays Russian Roulette — with FIVE bullets.

 

[shart_attack]

He once won a Nobel Prize — just for some Kool-Aid he mixed.

 

[Gracie]

Some funny ones!!

 

[shart_attack]

His Bloody Marys have actual blood.

 

[shart_attack]

He often gets into fights with his shadow — and wins, every time.

 

[shart_attack]

He has an internationally-recognized license to hate the player, AND the game.

 

[shart_attack]

He has never heard of a "tie ball".

 

[shart_attack]

He knows what his dates will look like in 20 years without ever seeing their mothers.

 

[shart_attack]

When he goes to jail, he still collects $200 for having passed "Go".

 

[shart_attack]

He sometimes listens to "Stairway to Heaven" backwards — FORWARDS.

 

[shart_attack]

He once dropped the soap in a jailhouse shower, just because he could.

 

[shart_attack]

Plants grow three times as fast when he pees on them.

 

[Valerie]

 

[shart_attack]

He has played "mutually assured destruction" — and won.

 

[Mad Scientist]

.

 

[shart_attack]

Strippers accept Parker Brothers Monopoly board dollars from him.