New document unearthed about Jesus

[Votto]

Apparently a new document has been unearthed that reveals an eye witness writing about Jesus performing a miracle.

Newly-Found Document Holds Eyewitness Account of Jesus Performing Miracle

The Roman historian Marcus Valleius Paterculus writes about the account. A woman by the name of Elisheba gave birth to a still born. Jesus then took the lad into his hands, looked up to heaven and muttered something incomprehensible in Aramaic, and life sprang into the boy.

Marcus referred to Jesus as lesous de Nazarenus, the Greco-Latin term for Jesus.

 

[JakeStarkey]

interesting

let more research and testing occur

 

[Iceweasel]

No extant writings exist from that time period. Sorry.

 

[JakeStarkey]

OK, post some evidence that is so.

 

[Tom Sweetnam]

No extant writings exist from that time period. Sorry.

God, what an idiot.

 

[Derideo_Te]

snopes.com Historian Discovers Eyewitness Account of Jesus Performing a Miracle.

Miracle Witness

Claim: A historian recently discovered an eyewitness account of Jesus' performing a miracle.

FALSE

[TBODY] [/TBODY]

Example: [Collected via email, October 2014]

I just read about this which I think is fascinating, but don't know if it is real..... Supposedly an ancient document was found with an account of one of Jesus' miracles.


Origins: On 4 October 2014, the web site World News Daily Report published an articleclaiming that historian Ignazio Perrucci discovered an eyewitness account of Jesus' performing a miracle:
An Italian expert studying a first century document written by the Roman historian Marcus Velleius Paterculus that was recently discovered in the archives of the Vatican, found what is presumed to be the first eyewitness account ever recorded of a miracle of Jesus Christ. The author describes a scene that he allegedly witnessed, in which a prophet and teacher that he names Iesous de Nazarenus, resuscitated a stillborn boy and handed him back to his mother.
The article has been shared more than 25,000 times on Facebook and another 500 times on Twitter. Unfortunately, there is no truth to the report.

First off, the image used in the World News Daily Report article, displayed above, does not show a document written by Marcus Velleius Paterculus. The photo, which was taken from a Wikipedia article about Britain's oldest handwritten documents, actually shows the Vindolanda tablets.

There are several other factors that discredit the article, the main being that World News Daily Report is a fake news site that includes fictional stories such as "Rancher Shoots Down UFO Near Area 51," "15-Ton Prehistoric Shark Captured Off Coast of Pakistan," and "Nessie Sighting Brings Surge of Enthusiasm in Favor of Scottish Independence."

The site also carries a disclaimer that clearly states none of its reports are meant to be read as fact:
World News Daily Report is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All news articles contained within worldnewsdailyreport.com are fiction, and presumably fake news.

Last updated: 6 October 2014

 

[The VOR]

Apparently a new document has been unearthed that reveals an eye witness writing about Jesus performing a miracle.

Newly-Found Document Holds Eyewitness Account of Jesus Performing Miracle

A woman by the name of Elisheba gave birth to a still born. Jesus then took the lad into his hands, looked up to heaven and muttered something incomprehensible in Aramaic, and life sprang into the boy.

Actually, the dude held the kid upside down by his ankles and gave him a little swat on his ass, and then "life sprang into the boy."

Eh, whatever. Either way, it should be good for a few bucks on Ebay.

 

[Tom Sweetnam]

Cool. Now if only the Vatican would open their extensive archives on Giordano Bruno, I'd be a happy man.

 

[Moonglow]

No extant writings exist from that time period. Sorry.

God, what an idiot.

Damn, you beat me to it...

 

[Moonglow]

Cool. Now if only the Vatican would open their extensive archives on Giordano Bruno, I'd be a happy man.

I'd be glad if they'd give me the Spear of Destiny...So I could conquer the world for peace..

 

[Iceweasel]

No extant writings exist from that time period. Sorry.

God, what an idiot.

Can you back that up? I missed your evidence. I've studied it for 20+ years, and you? All you need is one extant document from around 30AD to prove me wrong, asshole.

 

[Iceweasel]

Cool. Now if only the Vatican would open their extensive archives on Giordano Bruno, I'd be a happy man.

You'd still be a fucking retard, happy or not.

 

[Taz]

Apparently a new document has been unearthed that reveals an eye witness writing about Jesus performing a miracle.

Newly-Found Document Holds Eyewitness Account of Jesus Performing Miracle

The Roman historian Marcus Valleius Paterculus writes about the account. A woman by the name of Elisheba gave birth to a still born. Jesus then took the lad into his hands, looked up to heaven and muttered something incomprehensible in Aramaic, and life sprang into the boy.

Marcus referred to Jesus as lesous de Nazarenus, the Greco-Latin term for Jesus.

Ya, because there's never been a forgery in the history of the world (hello Shroud of Turin). I'll wait for the carbon dating, thanks.