Substitute Teaching

[Roadrunner]

I spent Friday subbing at a rural high school in the Ag classes. Here's the view out the school's south door...

I am curious, what state?

I retired on a hearing disability, I do not know if I could sub or not, but, am thinking of looking in to it.

Do they take out Social Security and stuff like that?

 

[Moonglow]

Whenever I notice a student writing left-handed, I ask "so... how long have you been left-handed"?

They get this puzzled look, then reply "all my life"

To which I reply "me too- true story".

Sometimes I connect with students on the simplest of levels.

It builds credibility.

My Mom was a lefty and school insisted on being right handed, so I learned to write with either hand....

 

[Roadrunner]

My sub teachers would get the Playboy fold out when they pulled down the screen, thanks to the Bart in me...

Every now and then something happens, and I think, God just bitchslapped me for the way we did Mrs. Spence!

I think maybe I taught all those years as penance for being such a bastard to my teachers.

Hey, I was bored, what can I say!

 

[Roadrunner]

Whenever I notice a student writing left-handed, I ask "so... how long have you been left-handed"?

They get this puzzled look, then reply "all my life"

To which I reply "me too- true story".

Sometimes I connect with students on the simplest of levels.

It builds credibility.

My Mom was a lefty and school insisted on being right handed, so I learned to write with either hand....

I was a lefty, and my dad a righty.

He always told me I was doing shit wrong.

I showed him though.

First Thanksgiving with him after getting married he asked me to sharpen the turkey slicing knife.

I was putting a razor edge on it when the old bastard told me I was doing it backwards and wrong.

I grabbed his arm and shaved off a 4 inch wide and foot long strip of his forearm clean as a baby's ass.

Fucker never said a thing about my knife sharpening again.

 

[Moonglow]

My sub teachers would get the Playboy fold out when they pulled down the screen, thanks to the Bart in me...

Every now and then something happens, and I think, God just bitchslapped me for the way we did Mrs. Spence!

I think maybe I taught all those years as penance for being such a bastard to my teachers.

Hey, I was bored, what can I say!

They should be glad that super glue was not on the market when we were kids.....

 

[Roadrunner]

My sub teachers would get the Playboy fold out when they pulled down the screen, thanks to the Bart in me...

Every now and then something happens, and I think, God just bitchslapped me for the way we did Mrs. Spence!

I think maybe I taught all those years as penance for being such a bastard to my teachers.

Hey, I was bored, what can I say!

They should be glad that super glue was not on the market when we were kids.....

Yeah, but today's kids never have known the innocent joys of cherry-bombing for shits and giggles.

 

[emilynghiem]

I've made a couple of posts in the Coffee Shop but figured to just start a thread.

I subbed for 5-6 years before, but it's been quite a while. I recently started back up again and wish I'd done so earlier. It's like I picked up where I left off... which is a good thing. I'm comfortable and confident around the kids and that's crucial, because these little shits can smell fear. And they'll take advantage of it.

These are just fun anecdotal experiences and I'll try to post them when I can.

Today was High School French. The teacher had me show a couple of the classes the movie Tin-Tin. No other instructions. So I set it up to play in French, with English subtitles.

Afterwards, asked the classes "did you notice that a dog barking in French sounds the same as a dog barking in English"?

Hi Mr. H. and that's great you are teaching!
The kids have a wonderful advantage to have you as a teacher.

To add to your story, in a way, dogs DO bark in different languages
because people are conditioned to hear the linguistic patterns they assign to the sounds:

How Dogs Bark in Different Languages Psychology Today

When I was nannying for a 8 month old girl,
her name for the dog was "WHOA WHOA"
because that is the sound she heard and could imitate with her limited language skills.

In college the linguistics professor I had put up a whole list of
"what a Chinese rooster" sounds like phonetically, etc.

Fascinating lesson in cultural conditioning,
where we associate sounds and perception by our language. I'll never forget the lesson where I learned that some cultures DON'T have a separate word -- or concept --
for PINK but call this "LIGHT RED". (And the opposite for AZURE that in English is LIGHT BLUE and not its own color.) If we don't even divide the color spectrum the same because of language, what about the spiritual, religious or political spectrum where we identify things by label? mindblowing!

 

[Mr. H.]

Whoda thunkit?
Thanks.

 

[Mr. H.]

Oofah. What a day. Middle School science 8:30am-3:20pm. Then jumped in the car for a 40 minute drive to another job at the nursing home where I helped with a Valentine's Day dinner/party. Served tables, delivered trays to residents's rooms, did some serious dancing with the ladies including a few wheelchair-bound gals. There's one resident whose face is half-eaten with cancer but by god we got even her to break out in a smile.

Tomorrow I take charge of the high school library 12-3:30, after getting caught up at my office in the morning.

 

[Mr. H.]

Ha- I showed up for that Library gig and was told it isn't until March 6.

Today it's fourth-graders. I should have passed on this one. It's been a long time since I subbed with kids this young.
Same classroom all day. Same kids. At least the subjects matter will be at a level commensurate with my memory.

 

[Mr. H.]

Well, this was an adventure from the git-go. Found my way to the office, signed in, picked up the day's class notes, got directions to the room, walked in and... it's 50 degrees in there. The only room in the entire school with a failed heating system. Maintenance stops by, principal stops by, next door teacher stops by... and it's 10 minutes until the bell. Luckily the kids were to spend the first hour at the library so I took attendance and sent them on their way. Next door teacher said her kids would be gone from her room next period and that we can use the room for the following hour. After that, we decided to double up the kids in her room so my class hauled their chairs and belongings next door when suddenly we got word about a classroom up on the third floor that was being renovated. So... chairs back to my room and then march them all upstairs. By then, the heat was fixed and our room started to warm up. The rest of the day is a blur LOL.

But... I'd forgotten how much I dig the younger kids- rowdy as they can be. They're so damn cute and just like miniature adults. Anyhow- I survived but damn that wore me down. Took an hour nap after dinner this evening. If I get called in tomorrow, I'll just press 5 for "hung over".

 

[Mr. H.]

Damn, I got called to do 1-1/2 days but can't since I'll be out of town at a conference.
That's $120 I could have used.

 

[Mr. H.]

Make that $280. I got two more calls while I was gone.

Watched a really good (and gritty) movie last night about a substitute teacher.

Detachment 2011 - IMDb

It stars Adrien Brody who was in the Pianist and Grand Budapest Hotel

Anyhow this time change is going to make for an interesting morning today.

 

[Mr. H.]

Gawd what a day that was. Up at 6 (the new 5), to the office for 1-1/2 hours, sub teach 8:30-3:20, back to the office for 2-1/2 hours...

Highlight of the day - no cell phones. A gal was furiously texting on her phone and ignoring my pleas for her to stop. So I removed the "no cell phones" sign from the classroom wall and put it on her desk. She said (while texting) "my books and homework are in my car my car was towed get out of my face".

So I did. She was close to tears.

After class I said "sorry to jump you on that- hang in there". To which she curtly replied "no problem".

I had a bi-lingual student in another class who had a personal interpreter. I took the time to try and converse with them in what little Spanish that I know. They really appreciated that.

Got a call this morning to sub yet again, but today's plate is already filled. Another $80 lost opportunity.

 

[Muhammed]

When I was in the eleventh grade, one of my favorite instructors was a substitute teacher. Actually, I had a major crush on her. :blush:

 

[Mr. H.]

Middle school science today.
Tomorrow- back to the country school and the Ag classroom.

Maybe I'll take Friday off and get stinkin' drunk the night before.

 

[Mr. H.]

I quickly learned that I can only take 3 days per week of this. Oofah. I've done Tue/Wed/Thur and need a break. At least that's $240 I didn't have before the week started.

I got three calls to sub tomorrow, but I've got an 8am meeting and duties at my office. Besides, the oil needs changed in the Jeep (long overdue) and I've got to have it at the shop by 9am.

Today I went back to the Ag classroom at the "country" school. Surprisingly, most of the kids remembered me. The teacher had plenty for each class, but invariably they descended into controlled chaos during the last 15 minutes.

Another teacher brought a student to me during my "prep" (free) period. A sixth grade dancer. The teacher knows my daughter is a dancer and wanted me to share her experiences. I was flattered.

During study hall, I heard one kid complain about how he hates the "job shadowing" assignments. He's expected to go to Wal Mart 15 miles away and spend the day with the manager. I told him that he's welcome to spend a day with Mr. H. and learn about the oil business. He really perked up at that. So we're trying to get it arranged for next month.

In the Ag classroom, there were posters illustrating the different cuts of beef. I asked the class if they knew the difference between "loin" and "sirloin". I told them that sirloin was knighted and that's why they call it sir loin.

 

[Mr. H.]

The job shadowing with the high school senior went really well. We spent three hours at my office, went to lunch, then spent about 2 hours at the oilfield.

I was in a meeting yesterday morning when a call came in. I recognized the number, so stepped out in the hall to take it. They needed a sub ASAP, so I told them I'd be right over after my meeting.

5 and 6 graders this time. The highlights:

One little girl came up to my desk mumbling something. The only word I recognized was "Bible". She asked me "do you believe it"? I told her that it was not an appropriate topic of discussion to have in a public school setting.

That afternoon, another 5th grader told me how his dad thinks that Obama uses the Constitution and the Bill of Rights for toilet paper. I told him it wasn't an appropriate topic of conversation for the classroom, but that I didn't disagree with his dad.

 

[Moonglow]

I quickly learned that I can only take 3 days per week of this. Oofah. I've done Tue/Wed/Thur and need a break. At least that's $240 I didn't have before the week started.

I got three calls to sub tomorrow, but I've got an 8am meeting and duties at my office. Besides, the oil needs changed in the Jeep (long overdue) and I've got to have it at the shop by 9am.

Today I went back to the Ag classroom at the "country" school. Surprisingly, most of the kids remembered me. The teacher had plenty for each class, but invariably they descended into controlled chaos during the last 15 minutes.

Another teacher brought a student to me during my "prep" (free) period. A sixth grade dancer. The teacher knows my daughter is a dancer and wanted me to share her experiences. I was flattered.

During study hall, I heard one kid complain about how he hates the "job shadowing" assignments. He's expected to go to Wal Mart 15 miles away and spend the day with the manager. I told him that he's welcome to spend a day with Mr. H. and learn about the oil business. He really perked up at that. So we're trying to get it arranged for next month.

In the Ag classroom, there were posters illustrating the different cuts of beef. I asked the class if they knew the difference between "loin" and "sirloin". I told them that sirloin was knighted and that's why they call it sir loin.

No wonder the kids are dumb....

 

[Mr. H.]

Today wore me out! Morning went fine, but the afternoon dragged on and on.

The geometry class had 7 boys and one girl. The guys were rowdy and the girl picked up her things and stormed out. I read those shits the riot act about manners, respect, and behavior. I told them they had to stay in there seats for 30 seconds after the bell. When the bell went off, they were sitting there bummed out until I stood up and said "You know what? I changed my mind. Get out of here! ".

In another class, a student told me that I inspired her to draw a cartoon character. Last week, I shared my creations with her and told her about my copyright. I gave her some suggestions and tips. She appreciated that.

One class had a Black kid named John Long.