By RICHARD LITTLEJOHN
Dateline: some time in 2011...
As a celebration of modern Britain, designed to reflect the Age of Austerity and Diversity, yesterdays Royal Wedding was an unqualified triumph.
The marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton catapulted the monarchy from the last century into the second decade of the new millennium.
This was a break with tradition on an epic scale, carefully choreographed to bring our future King closer to his multicultural subjects.
It began with the couples decision to reject their initial choice of Westminster Abbey in favour of the Finsbury Park Mosque.
For the first time in history, the ceremony was conducted in the street because the building had been sealed off by the anti-terrorist squad.
The bride was resplendent in a designer burka from the Kate Moss Intifada Collection at Topshop
In line with the desire of Prince Charles to be defender of all faiths, the Archbishop of Canterbury agreed to stand aside in favour of Sheikh Abu Hamza, recently released from Belmarsh Prison with a £5 million compensation package.
As the wedding ring dangled from his diamond-encrusted left hook, Sheikh Hamza pronounced the infidel couple man and chattel and prayed for jihad.
The bride was resplendent in a designer burka from the Kate Moss Intifada Collection at Topshop. Prince William shunned Savile Row and wore a single-breasted suit from the Jamie Redknapp range at M&S.
Read more: Richard Littlejohn: A very British Royal Wedding... and the bride wore a burka! | Mail Online