The Government's Free Lunch Counter

[g5000]

Congress serves as a waiter at a free lunch counter. The owner of the free lunch counter is the President of the United States.

Let's observe a typical day at the Uncle Sam's Free Lunch Counter.

WAITER: Welcome to Uncle Sam’s Free Lunch counter. How may I help you?

CUSTOMER 1: I would like you to give me some of my income tax back if I buy a house. And the bigger house I buy, the more money I want back.

WAITER: All right, you got it! But I am going to have to take more of the other customers’ income to make up the difference.

CUSTOMER 1: Only a commie would be opposed to me keeping more of my money!

WAITER: But that guy over there will have to pay more so you can keep more, and he earns the same income you do.

CUSTOMER 1: Screw him.

WAITER: Anything else?

CUSTOMER 1: Hell yes. I have a long list of demands. Let’s start with a tax break for having kids.

WAITER: Okay, but that means the other guy will have to pay mo-

CUSTOMER 1: Didn’t I just say I don’t give a damn?

WAITER: Yes, sir!

CUSTOMER 2: Excuse me!

WAITER: Yes, ma’am. How may I help you?

CUSTOMER 2: I need health insurance.

WAITER: Well, doesn’t your job offer it to you?

CUSTOMER 2: No. They are corporatist pigs who feel profits come before people.

WAITER: Why don’t you get a better job?

CUSTOMER 2: I’m a high school dropout. How the hell am I supposed to get a better job?

WAITER: So you would like the other customers to pay for your health insurance?

CUSTOMER 2: They use all these roads and bridges, don’t they? So hell yes they should buy my insurance!

WAITER: Don’t you use the same roads and bridges they do?

CUSTOMER 2: Watch your mouth! You work for ME! The customer is always right. You want to keep your job?

WAITER: Sorry. Won’t happen again. I will give you whatever you wish.

CUSTOMER 3: Hey! Are you trying to take more money from me?

WAITER: Yes, sir. Sorry, but we have to pay that guy some money for buying a house, and we have to pay for that lady’s health insurance.

CUSTOMER 3: I will NOT pay more of my income to you! If you ever want to see me here again, you will find another way. If enough of us don’t come back, you will be out of a job.

WAITER: I will see what I can do for you, sir.

CUSTOMER 4: I see you just gave Customer 1 a lot of his money back and some other privileges for being married.

WAITER: That’s right.

CUSTOMER 4: I am also married. I would like those same cash and prizes.

CUSTOMER 1: Oh, boy. This guy thinks he’s special.

CUSTOMER 3: No, sir. I just want to order the same things off the menu you did.

CUSTOMER 1: We have never done that before and we aren’t going to start now. I resent you trying to get the same privileges I demanded for myself! What do you think, Waiter?

WAITER: I am going to have to study the issue…for several years.

OWNER: Ladies and gentlemen, due to the rising demands of our customers, we are going to have to raise prices on everyone.

CUSTOMERS: Oh no, you don’t! We will stop coming here and put you out of business if you do that!

OWNER: But I am losing money!

CUSTOMERS: We don’t give a damn!

OWNER: Fine. I guess I will borrow the money rather than make everyone pay for all this stuff.

 

[g5000]

CUSTOMER 1: Can you believe the free lunch counter gave that lady a $50 phone for free?

CUSTOMER 2: Didn't you get several hundred dollars back for buying a house?

CUSTOMER 1: Hey! The housing sector needs as many government crutches as it can get!

 

[LordBrownTrout]

Govt bubbles, scams, and schemes. Always impeding progress.

 

[g5000]

Govt bubbles, scams, and schemes. Always impeding progress.

Indeed. I only believe people who call for "less government, less spending, etc." when their actions match their words. Unfortunately, most people demand their own free lunch from the government at other people's expense and scream like a hippie if you try to take it away.

We are one good budget away from getting back on the road to fiscal sanity. But we are also one bad budget away from falling into ruin.

 

[LordBrownTrout]

Govt bubbles, scams, and schemes. Always impeding progress.

Indeed. I only believe people who call for "less government, less spending, etc." when their actions match their words. Unfortunately, most people demand their own free lunch from the government at other people's expense and scream like a hippie if you try to take it away.

We are one good budget away from getting back on the road to fiscal sanity. But we are also one bad budget away from falling into ruin.

Yes, that is true.

 

[Moonglow]

ain't life a bitch.

 

[g5000]

ain't life a bitch.

WAITER: I'm giving you some of your income back for that brilliant observation. I'm going to borrow the difference from China.

 

[g5000]

Don't forget to tip your waiters with your votes for excellent service!

 

[BlindBoo]

Hey Waiter, over here.

I want cheaper fuel for my gas guzzling SUV. Can you help me out with that?

 

[Uncensored2008]

Hey Waiter, over here.

I want cheaper fuel for my gas guzzling SUV. Can you help me out with that?

Waiter: Hell NO! In fact I'm charging you an extra dollar a gallon so I can give it to my buddy who grows corn!

 

[BlindBoo]

Hey Waiter, over here.

I want cheaper fuel for my gas guzzling SUV. Can you help me out with that?

Waiter: Hell NO! In fact I'm charging you an extra dollar a gallon so I can give it to my buddy who grows corn!

Hey, you're not my waiter. Your section is way over there on the far right side of this joint, I want to see the manager of this greasy spoon.

 

[g5000]

 

[Soggy in NOLA]

Govt bubbles, scams, and schemes. Always impeding progress.

Indeed. I only believe people who call for "less government, less spending, etc." when their actions match their words. Unfortunately, most people demand their own free lunch from the government at other people's expense and scream like a hippie if you try to take it away.

We are one good budget away from getting back on the road to fiscal sanity. But we are also one bad budget away from falling into ruin.

Great... another lib who thinks tax breaks come at somebody else's expense.... this only works in a world where the gubmint is entitled to 100% of your money bub.

 

[Soggy in NOLA]

Hey Waiter, over here.

I want cheaper fuel for my gas guzzling SUV. Can you help me out with that?

What's your point?

 

[g5000]

Govt bubbles, scams, and schemes. Always impeding progress.

Indeed. I only believe people who call for "less government, less spending, etc." when their actions match their words. Unfortunately, most people demand their own free lunch from the government at other people's expense and scream like a hippie if you try to take it away.

We are one good budget away from getting back on the road to fiscal sanity. But we are also one bad budget away from falling into ruin.

Great... another lib who thinks tax breaks come at somebody else's expense.... this only works in a world where the gubmint is entitled to 100% of your money bub.

Of course tax expenditures come at someone else's expense, with the result of people earning identical incomes paying wildly different income taxes.

Without tax expenditures, we could lower everyone's tax rates.

CUSTOMER 1 and CUSTOMER 3 live next door to each other. If you use the stretch of road in front of their houses as representative of all government spending (we'll say $2000), and they both earn identical incomes, then they should be paying $1,000 each in a balanced budget world.

However, CUSTOMER 1 got some of his $1000 returned to him because he has a mortgage and two children, and he bought the right kind of energy-saver refrigerator. So his tax bill came out to $700.

In a balanced budget world, CUSTOMER 3 is now going to have to cough up $1300 instead of $1000. CUSTOMER 1's tax break came at CUSTOMER 3's expense.

People like you don't like to look at that part of the truth.

Of course, CUSTOMER 3 is not going to go along with having his taxes increased by 33%. He will tolerate a few percentage points, but not 33%. So his Congressman promises not to raise them that much. But CUSTOMER 3 is still going to have pay more than his fair share. He is going to have to cough up more than $1000. He is losing some of his income to support CUSTOMER 1 on his back.

And our country will have to borrown the remainder of CUSTOMER 1's tax break from China. All because CUSTOMER 1 demands to be treated differently than his neighbor who earns the same income.

And that is one of the reasons we are in debt.

If we eliminate CUSTOMER 1's tax kickback, we can lower CUSTOMER 3's taxes, and we can stop borrowing from China.

But there you are, demanding your free lunch and not giving a damn other people have to support you.

 

[LoneLaugher]

Waiter!

My kid just came home with hepatitis that he got from another kid who's parents could not afford medical care. What the fuck!

 

[g5000]

WAITER: Let me take over healthcare for you. CUSTOMERS 1 and 3 can afford it.

 

[g5000]

CUSTOMER 5: Waiter, there was a horrible incident in our neighborhood. What are you going to do to prevent horrible incidents from ever happening again?

 

[Edgetho]

CUSTOMER 1: Can you believe the free lunch counter gave that lady a $50 phone for free?

CUSTOMER 2: Didn't you get several hundred dollars back for buying a house?

CUSTOMER 1: Hey! The housing sector needs as many government crutches as it can get!

The homeowner had to buy the house first.

What did the dimocrap voter do to earn an obamphone?

There's something wrong with your mind

 

[Seawytch]

Hey Waiter, I'm a multi-national corporation that has shipped all my jobs to countries that employ 9 year olds for $30 a month. Can I get a US tax break for that?