The Work Involved.

[AVG-JOE]

What does a Monkey need to DO if becoming a Christian is the goal?

​

How about becoming a Muslim? A Buddhist? A Mormon?



I don't have a clue as to the steps involved in joining the Muslims, Buddhists or Mormons as a true believer, but I'm curious.


It's my understanding, as a former Protestant Christian, that one can call oneself a true believer in Jesus of Nazareth as The Christ promised by The God of Abraham in The Torah if one:

>Believes that The God of Abraham, as described in The Torah, The New Testament and The Koran exists, and that The Torah and New Testament are inspired by God.

> Understands that God Himself walked the earth in the skin of a Jew named Jesus of Nazareth.

>Understands that Monkeys are broken creatures, dying from sin and greed and in need of an advocate because God is perfect.

>Understands that when God experienced human death on a cross in the skin of Jesus, He became that advocate, and when God asks you to account for your time on earth, if He is asked sincerely in prayer to do so, Jesus will step forward and declare the price for your sins and indiscretions paid in full, granting you access to an eternity of worshiping God in Heaven.​

Believe, three understandings and one simple prayer and your in the club as a baby Christian, ready to begin the lifelong education involved in defining "sin". Obviously, walking the talk is when the work truly begins, but those are the steps to becoming a Protestant Christian.

I'm really curious as to how the steps to becoming a Muslim compare, as there in lies the only alternative pathway for Monkeys not lucky enough to be born Jewish to access The God of Abraham.

 

[AVG-JOE]

 

[PostmodernProph]

What does a Monkey need to DO if becoming a Christian is the goal?

​

How about becoming a Muslim? A Buddhist? A Mormon?



I don't have a clue as to the steps involved in joining the Muslims, Buddhists or Mormons as a true believer, but I'm curious.


It's my understanding, as a former Protestant Christian, that one can call oneself a true believer in Jesus of Nazareth as The Christ promised by The God of Abraham in The Torah if one:

>Believes that The God of Abraham, as described in The Torah, The New Testament and The Koran exists, and The Torah and that New Testament are inspired by God.

> Understands that God Himself walked the earth in the skin of a Jew named Jesus of Nazareth.

>Understands that Monkeys are broken creatures, dying from sin and greed and in need of advocate because God is perfect.

>Understands that when God experienced human death on a cross in the skin of Jesus, He became that advocate, and when God asks you to account for your time on earth, if He is asked sincerely in prayer to do so, Jesus will step forward and declare the price for your sins and indiscretions paid in full, granting you access to an eternity of worshiping God in Heaven.​

Believe, three understandings and one simple prayer and your in the club as a baby Christian, ready to begin the lifelong education involved in defining "sin". Obviously, walking the talk is when the work truly begins, but those are the steps to becoming a Protestant Christian.

I'm really curious as to how the steps to becoming a Muslim compare, as there in lies the only alternative pathway for Monkeys not lucky enough to be born Jewish to access The God of Abraham.

????....didn't pay much attention in Sunday School I take it......

 

[AVG-JOE]

Who me?

I taught Sunday School, Bro.

What did I miss in the opener?

 

[PostmodernProph]

Who me?

I taught Sunday School, Bro.

What did I miss in the opener?

interesting......when they asked you to teach did they tell you that your job was to teach baby Christians how to spend their lives defining sin?.....if so I'm glad you quit...who knows how many young lives you've fucked up......

 

[AVG-JOE]

Among other things. The other thing I was back then was conservative, where defining sin can be a lucrative political career.

 

[westwall]

Among other things. The other thing I was back then was conservative, where defining sin can be a lucrative political career.

Liberals define sin all of the time too. It's required to generate power. Most people desire power, the hope is they temper that desire with compassion and love for their fellow life forms.

 

[LiberalMedia]

It's my understanding, as a former Protestant Christian, that one can call oneself a true believer in Jesus of Nazareth as The Christ promised by The God of Abraham in The Torah if one:

> Understands that God Himself walked the earth in the skin of a Jew named Jesus of Nazareth.​

Stopped reading there. Obviously, your complete ignorance of history, geography, and the Bible is fueling your blatant anti-semitism.

Nazareth is in the land of Galilee, referred to as "the Galilee of non-Jewish nations," "Galilee of the nations," "Galil goyim," or "Galilee of the Gentiles," in various translations of Isaiah 9:1. References to "nations" refer explicitly to non-Jews. This anti-semitic conspiracy theory that Jesus (as if such a person even existed!) was a Jew is completely false, and would be akin to claiming, for example, that a guy known as "Wong of Chinatown" was white.

You and all the other conservatard followers of Christ-insanity on this board have a lot of studying up to do on your own backwards religion.

 

[Blackrook]

It's my understanding, as a former Protestant Christian, that one can call oneself a true believer in Jesus of Nazareth as The Christ promised by The God of Abraham in The Torah if one:

> Understands that God Himself walked the earth in the skin of a Jew named Jesus of Nazareth.​

Stopped reading there. Obviously, your complete ignorance of history, geography, and the Bible is fueling your blatant anti-semitism.

Nazareth is in the land of Galilee, referred to as "the Galilee of non-Jewish nations," "Galilee of the nations," "Galil goyim," or "Galilee of the Gentiles," in various translations of Isaiah 9:1. References to "nations" refer explicitly to non-Jews. This anti-semitic conspiracy theory that Jesus (as if such a person even existed!) was a Jew is completely false, and would be akin to claiming, for example, that a guy known as "Wong of Chinatown" was white.

You and all the other conservatard followers of Christ-insanity on this board have a lot of studying up to do on your own backwards religion.

Are you really an atheist, or are you a Christian pretending to be an atheist to make atheists look bad?

 

[Avatar4321]

To be a latter day saint, you need to exercise faith in Jesus Christ, repent, and enter into the waters of baptism. When you are baptized you make a covenant with God. We promise to always remember Him, follow Him, to stand as a witness for Him at all times and places. We promise to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those in need of comfort.

After baptism we are confirmed a member of the Church and given the gift of the Holy Ghost. That is His promise we will be filled with the Holy Spirit and receive spiritual gifts, knowledge, wisdom, and counsel in life.

Typically a convert will go through several lessons with the missionaries before they are considered for baptism. I invite you to meet with them sometime. They can teach you more.

 

[PratchettFan]

What does a Monkey need to DO if becoming a Christian is the goal?

​

How about becoming a Muslim? A Buddhist? A Mormon?



I don't have a clue as to the steps involved in joining the Muslims, Buddhists or Mormons as a true believer, but I'm curious.


It's my understanding, as a former Protestant Christian, that one can call oneself a true believer in Jesus of Nazareth as The Christ promised by The God of Abraham in The Torah if one:

>Believes that The God of Abraham, as described in The Torah, The New Testament and The Koran exists, and that The Torah and New Testament are inspired by God.

> Understands that God Himself walked the earth in the skin of a Jew named Jesus of Nazareth.

>Understands that Monkeys are broken creatures, dying from sin and greed and in need of an advocate because God is perfect.

>Understands that when God experienced human death on a cross in the skin of Jesus, He became that advocate, and when God asks you to account for your time on earth, if He is asked sincerely in prayer to do so, Jesus will step forward and declare the price for your sins and indiscretions paid in full, granting you access to an eternity of worshiping God in Heaven.​

Believe, three understandings and one simple prayer and your in the club as a baby Christian, ready to begin the lifelong education involved in defining "sin". Obviously, walking the talk is when the work truly begins, but those are the steps to becoming a Protestant Christian.

I'm really curious as to how the steps to becoming a Muslim compare, as there in lies the only alternative pathway for Monkeys not lucky enough to be born Jewish to access The God of Abraham.

I don't think you become anything. You gravitate to what you are. If Christianity makes sense to you, then you become a Christian. If Buddhism makes sense, you become a Buddhist.

 

[Coyote]

I'm a heathen.

I think that means that, when I took the eye exam, I didn't recognize the right diety.

That's ok.

As long as I have plenty of banannas I'm a happy monkey

 

[AVG-JOE]

Among other things. The other thing I was back then was conservative, where defining sin can be a lucrative political career.

Liberals define sin all of the time too. It's required to generate power. Most people desire power, the hope is they temper that desire with compassion and love for their fellow life forms.

So it's a power thing, not necessarily an ideological thing, eh? Defining sin.

I suppose that your right. Parents, teachers, cops, bosses, anyone with authority and the power of consequences has some duties defining the parameters of what is 'sin' within the context of the group.

Religion fits. At least in my humble opinion. Even right down to Sunday School.



Teaching little Monkeys right from wrong is what big Monkeys should do, no?

`​

 

[PostmodernProph]

Among other things. The other thing I was back then was conservative, where defining sin can be a lucrative political career.

/yawn.....tiresome memes can be so tiresome......

 

[AVG-JOE]

It's my understanding, as a former Protestant Christian, that one can call oneself a true believer in Jesus of Nazareth as The Christ promised by The God of Abraham in The Torah if one:

> Understands that God Himself walked the earth in the skin of a Jew named Jesus of Nazareth.​

Stopped reading there. Obviously, your complete ignorance of history, geography, and the Bible is fueling your blatant anti-semitism.

Nazareth is in the land of Galilee, referred to as "the Galilee of non-Jewish nations," "Galilee of the nations," "Galil goyim," or "Galilee of the Gentiles," in various translations of Isaiah 9:1. References to "nations" refer explicitly to non-Jews. This anti-semitic conspiracy theory that Jesus (as if such a person even existed!) was a Jew is completely false, and would be akin to claiming, for example, that a guy known as "Wong of Chinatown" was white.

You and all the other conservatard followers of Christ-insanity on this board have a lot of studying up to do on your own backwards religion.

You have no idea, Kiddo.

I am curious though... since I'm so completely misguided as to what the steps are to becoming a Christian, enlighten us.

​

 

[AVG-JOE]

I'm a heathen.

I think that means that, when I took the eye exam, I didn't recognize the right diety.

That's ok.

As long as I have plenty of banannas I'm a happy monkey

I like this answer!

 

[AVG-JOE]

Among other things. The other thing I was back then was conservative, where defining sin can be a lucrative political career.

/yawn.....tiresome memes can be so tiresome......

So tell me... What ARE the steps to becoming a genuine Christian?

 

[westwall]

Among other things. The other thing I was back then was conservative, where defining sin can be a lucrative political career.

Liberals define sin all of the time too. It's required to generate power. Most people desire power, the hope is they temper that desire with compassion and love for their fellow life forms.

So it's a power thing, not necessarily an ideological thing, eh? Defining sin.

I suppose that your right. Parents, teachers, cops, bosses, anyone with authority and the power of consequences has some duties defining the parameters of what is 'sin' within the context of the group.

Religion fits. At least in my humble opinion. Even right down to Sunday School.



Teaching little Monkeys right from wrong is what big Monkeys should do, no?

`​

Yes, but it my belief that teaching them not only entails what is right or wrong, but WHY it's right or wrong. That is most often left out because it's a lot of work to teach an 8 year old (in my case) the history behind why judgments have been made, the code of ethics that has evolved over millennia etc.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Why is ALWAYS the hardest question to answer. Ask any victim of violent sin.

 

[Hollie]

What does a Monkey need to DO if becoming a Christian is the goal?

​

How about becoming a Muslim? A Buddhist? A Mormon?



I don't have a clue as to the steps involved in joining the Muslims, Buddhists or Mormons as a true believer, but I'm curious.


It's my understanding, as a former Protestant Christian, that one can call oneself a true believer in Jesus of Nazareth as The Christ promised by The God of Abraham in The Torah if one:

>Believes that The God of Abraham, as described in The Torah, The New Testament and The Koran exists, and The Torah and that New Testament are inspired by God.

> Understands that God Himself walked the earth in the skin of a Jew named Jesus of Nazareth.

>Understands that Monkeys are broken creatures, dying from sin and greed and in need of advocate because God is perfect.

>Understands that when God experienced human death on a cross in the skin of Jesus, He became that advocate, and when God asks you to account for your time on earth, if He is asked sincerely in prayer to do so, Jesus will step forward and declare the price for your sins and indiscretions paid in full, granting you access to an eternity of worshiping God in Heaven.​

Believe, three understandings and one simple prayer and your in the club as a baby Christian, ready to begin the lifelong education involved in defining "sin". Obviously, walking the talk is when the work truly begins, but those are the steps to becoming a Protestant Christian.

I'm really curious as to how the steps to becoming a Muslim compare, as there in lies the only alternative pathway for Monkeys not lucky enough to be born Jewish to access The God of Abraham.

????....didn't pay much attention in Sunday School I take it......

As with the overwhelming majority of religionists, you simply accepted the religion you were given by your parents and never made any conscious decision about it. That's lazy, but very typical.