Wow, I guess I shouldn't...

[R.D.]

I'm not playing anyone. I'm not going to repeat my origial post, it says it all. Read it again. There is truth there, along with anger and a dose of sarcasm.

As for getting rid of the gun, that's ridiculous. Shall I get rid of my car and garage, also? Actually, just the car, I read that you shouldn't do it in the garage as you might also kill anyone living in the house. So you get a hose, attach it to the exhaust and then route it into the car. I did go back and feel the exhaust pipe to see what type of hose I'd need. Should I get rid of my car?

I don't think I'll kill myself. I do, in fact, have several living creatures who depend on me. Their lives would be greatly diminished if they had to depend on my husband for their care. He seems to care only for himself. Especially my doberman, Hannah. She is Greta's half-sister and has tried to fill Greta's place in my life, although no one can fill Greta's place.

Only four months since Greta died? That is nothing. It is 134 days today since she died. I have cried every day.

It's been getting worse, lately, not better and I realized it's because it's spring. Bright sunny days, everything turning green. And I realize how much Greta would have loved this. How she loved the spring and summer, running outside on the grass...eating the grass! Basking in the sun. Greta lived life with gusto, she reveled in every little thing. The passing of winter into spring was not a little thing to Greta, it was nothing short of joyous. So as we enter this season, I miss her even more than before.

She was not "just a dog." She was not a pet. She was my best friend.

She was brilliant and beautiful and so full of life. Do you want to see her eyes? Look at these eyes..you can see the old soul there. Older and wiser than most people I know.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UXJTOxWFXI&feature=youtu.be

Maybe Samson nailed it. Played me, hope this brought you joy

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

You need professional help.

Blubblering away to message board sympathisers is no substitute.

As soon as I get a chance I am going to bash you something fierce. Just wait right there!

I'll probably survive.

Whether or not the rest of you will survive if poor Koosh takes her issues to a professional who can actually help her, might be another story.

Samson, you actually make a good point about professional help. The problem is, I can't really afford it. I have to try and deal with this on my own.

I have medical coverage through work, but my yearly deductible is $4000. That's why I didn't go to the ER a few nights ago when I thought something was wrong with my heart. I'm still alive, so it probably wasn't a heart attack, and if I'd gone to the ER I'd be a few thousand dollars in debt now. People can't be running to the ER every time they have an ache or pain.

I could go get a yearly physical, that's covered 100%, no deductible. I could tell them about my problems and they might refer me to a specialist to check out the heart and a psychologist or psychiatrist for help with the emotional issues and anxiety. But all those costs would be coming out of my pocket until I reach $4000. Going into the poorhouse on top of all my other problems is not going to help me.

I conquered my agoraphobia regarding driving by reading an anxiety/phobia workbook written by a psychologist. Actually, the book was given to me by my sister-in-law who is a clinical psychologist. I suppose I should pick the book up again as it covers this free floating anxiety I've started experiencing.

If I can't get ahold of this myself, I suppose I should seek professional help. But when I was a young woman going through a hell of anxiety and panic, they didn't help me a bit. Just told me I had too many stress factors in my life and sent me on my way. And like my husband says, today they push pills at you. I don't want any pills.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

Koosh-Greta sounds like a great dog. I lost both my dogs a couple years ago within 4 months of each other. It was devastating. What helped me was remembering the good times and getting new dogs. The new dogs don't replace the old ones, they just help the healing. Our humane society has pet loss support groups. If you have one near you, you should go and talk to others going through the same thing. Best of luck to you. Thanks for checking in today.

Well, I already have four other dogs. They help some, but actually when I do things with them, take them on walks and outings it makes me cry. Because I think about how much Greta would have loved it.

I had thought about getting a doberman puppy a few weeks after Greta died. But then I realized I was thinking it would be Greta reborn. So I backed off from the idea for now. Besides, my work situation doesn't really accomodate raising a puppy right now.

Dobermans are amazing animals.. When they are little and their ears are taped up they look like a little reindeer. They just have that look to them. They are cute when they are small and then when they get bigger they can really put on their mean face! lol. Mine did it all the time. He's been gone for a long time now.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

Oh, and sampson...blubbering away to message board sympathisers can actually help. You find out that others have been through similar ordeals, so you're not alone. It helps some.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

I'm not playing anyone. I'm not going to repeat my origial post, it says it all. Read it again. There is truth there, along with anger and a dose of sarcasm.

As for getting rid of the gun, that's ridiculous. Shall I get rid of my car and garage, also? Actually, just the car, I read that you shouldn't do it in the garage as you might also kill anyone living in the house. So you get a hose, attach it to the exhaust and then route it into the car. I did go back and feel the exhaust pipe to see what type of hose I'd need. Should I get rid of my car?

I don't think I'll kill myself. I do, in fact, have several living creatures who depend on me. Their lives would be greatly diminished if they had to depend on my husband for their care. He seems to care only for himself. Especially my doberman, Hannah. She is Greta's half-sister and has tried to fill Greta's place in my life, although no one can fill Greta's place.

Only four months since Greta died? That is nothing. It is 134 days today since she died. I have cried every day.

It's been getting worse, lately, not better and I realized it's because it's spring. Bright sunny days, everything turning green. And I realize how much Greta would have loved this. How she loved the spring and summer, running outside on the grass...eating the grass! Basking in the sun. Greta lived life with gusto, she reveled in every little thing. The passing of winter into spring was not a little thing to Greta, it was nothing short of joyous. So as we enter this season, I miss her even more than before.

She was not "just a dog." She was not a pet. She was my best friend.

She was brilliant and beautiful and so full of life. Do you want to see her eyes? Look at these eyes..you can see the old soul there. Older and wiser than most people I know.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UXJTOxWFXI&feature=youtu.be

Maybe Samson nailed it. Played me, hope this brought you joy

How did I play you? I don't follow that. I am being totally sincere.

 

[Wolfsister77]

Koosh-Greta sounds like a great dog. I lost both my dogs a couple years ago within 4 months of each other. It was devastating. What helped me was remembering the good times and getting new dogs. The new dogs don't replace the old ones, they just help the healing. Our humane society has pet loss support groups. If you have one near you, you should go and talk to others going through the same thing. Best of luck to you. Thanks for checking in today.

Well, I already have four other dogs. They help some, but actually when I do things with them, take them on walks and outings it makes me cry. Because I think about how much Greta would have loved it.

I had thought about getting a doberman puppy a few weeks after Greta died. But then I realized I was thinking it would be Greta reborn. So I backed off from the idea for now. Besides, my work situation doesn't really accomodate raising a puppy right now.

When I got my new dogs, I made sure they didn't look anything like my old ones. For me, that would of been tough. I understand not getting a puppy. They are a ton of work.

 

[R.D.]

You're not the least bit suicidal but you posted you were based on your grief over your dogs passing. So now anything you post is suspect. I'm not patient enough or kind enough to try to figure out the truth

 

[Samson]

You don't have what it takes to harrass me, Samson. I'm not in the least impressed by you. You're a small package. Get over Gracie and get a life. You're way past redeeming yourself on this thread. Tomorrow is another day. Better luck then. - J.

"Redeeming" myself?

For what?

Stick with the "holier-than-thou" attitude: It comes most naturally to you.

 

[Samson]

I'm embarassed to talk about myself anymore...maybe someone who is depressed or grieving or fearful will read this and realize they're not alone.

Before you leave, could you explain why you mentioned Gracie in the OP?

Certainly, no problem. I mentioned Gracie because she posted a thread in which she talked about some hard times she was having. People proceeed to be rather brutal. The point I think I wanted to make when I originally posted this thread, is you have no idea how bad people are hurting, or how close to the edge they are. When they post about struggles or problems they're having, it's probably best to try and give them some helpful advice or words of comfort, or shut the fuck up.

Because you don't know where someone's head is...harsh words may be all it takes to push them over the edge.

That's why I referenced Gracie. And everything I said was true. I have been struggling and thought to come here for comfort...but then I saw Gracie's thread and how she was treated...that's why my initial post was bitter and angry...and sarcastic.

I don't know why some people talk to Gracie that way. She and I have had differences of opinion and seem able to move past them without tearing each other to shreds. But if Gracie is attacked, I have seen that she will fight back. And I don't blame her, I'd do the same thing.

Thanks!

So this thread isn't really about suicidal tendencies, but more about your empathy towards, Gracie, or anyone else who may choose to share their woes on this message board. We should all be relieved to one degree or another.

This is pretty much what I suspected.

As you see, many jumped to the conclusion that you were a tad more than "bitter and angry....and sarcastic." These people love to dispense amature psychological advice. It gives them a deep sense of identity as it feeds their ego. This is why they became very concerned when you had not replied to them immediately after the OP: They need to be fed, as much as they need to feel superior.

And you are correct: there is a certain symbiosis between these people and anyone else who believes, as you do, that everyone else should, "shut the fuck up." Everyone else ruins the fantacy between those pretending to have an issue (e.g. suicidal tendencies...holding a loaded gun to your head, but omitting the fact it remained holstered) and those feeding off them (Jeremiah, et al).

 

[Samson]

You're not the least bit suicidal but you posted you were based on your grief over your dogs passing. So now anything you post is suspect. I'm not patient enough or kind enough to try to figure out the truth

Actually, that's the weird thing about the OP: There was no mention of her pet dying in January and the persistant depression that ensued because of this.

She only mentioned holding a gun to her head (omitting the holster, which would have had much less dramatic effect, IMHO), and the treatment Gracie was given. We are left to connect many dots, and the way you connected them certainly was not unpredictable, or unusual.

Whether the selective omission of facts was purposeful or not....who knows? I'm of the opinion that it was NOT. Clearly Koosh is one troubled puppy, and could easily have composed an imperfect OP.

 

[Samson]

Oh, and sampson...blubbering away to message board sympathisers can actually help. You find out that others have been through similar ordeals, so you're not alone. It helps some.

You're probably getting what you pay for: Quick, Cheap and Easy gratification.

Eating sugar will also help.

 

[R.D.]

You're not the least bit suicidal but you posted you were based on your grief over your dogs passing. So now anything you post is suspect. I'm not patient enough or kind enough to try to figure out the truth

Actually, that's the weird thing about the OP: There was no mention of her pet dying in January and the persistant depression that ensued because of this.

She only mentioned holding a gun to her head (omitting the holster, which would have had much less dramatic effect, IMHO), and the treatment Gracie was given. We are left to connect many dots, and the way you connected them certainly was not unpredictable, or unusual.

Whether the selective omission of facts was purposeful or not....who knows? I'm of the opinion that it was NOT. Clearly Koosh is one troubled puppy, and could easily have composed an imperfect OP.

The omission of the gun being holster NOT deliberate? I don't agree. Without her history i doubt her post would have received any positive/supportive attention

I don't know if she is sick or not but clearly she used several unfortunate episodes and twisted the truth in this thread. Making the entire subject suspect That's something I'm not in the least bit interested in participating in.

I don't have a problem with people offering help and or kind word when someone cries out. I don't question people compassion on message boards, it's an anonymous way to be nice to a stranger. Even if phoney it's kind so where is the harm?

 

[Samson]

You're not the least bit suicidal but you posted you were based on your grief over your dogs passing. So now anything you post is suspect. I'm not patient enough or kind enough to try to figure out the truth

Actually, that's the weird thing about the OP: There was no mention of her pet dying in January and the persistant depression that ensued because of this.

She only mentioned holding a gun to her head (omitting the holster, which would have had much less dramatic effect, IMHO), and the treatment Gracie was given. We are left to connect many dots, and the way you connected them certainly was not unpredictable, or unusual.

Whether the selective omission of facts was purposeful or not....who knows? I'm of the opinion that it was NOT. Clearly Koosh is one troubled puppy, and could easily have composed an imperfect OP.

The omission of the gun being holster NOT deliberate? I don't agree. Without her history i doubt her post would have received any positive/supportive attention

I don't know if she is sick or not but clearly she used several unfortunate episodes and twisted the truth in this thread. Making the entire subject suspect That's something I'm not in the least bit interested in participating in.

I don't have a problem with people offering help and or kind word when someone cries out. I don't question people compassion on message boards, it's an anonymous way to be nice to a stranger. Even if phoney it's kind so where is the harm?

Well there are a couple of harmful possibilities.

A. Not everyone, as in Gracie's case, is sympathetic, and as Koosh noted, could actually have a bad effect
B. People that need serious help are happy to receive amature advice, and this may have bad effects
C. Some actually "buy-into" suicidal fantacies (impressionable people; nominally teenagers), and will actually use them to justify their own.
D. Some of the most naive become invested in the "rescue." These make easy targets for especially nasty trolls.

 

[RandomVariable]

You're not the least bit suicidal but you posted you were based on your grief over your dogs passing. So now anything you post is suspect. I'm not patient enough or kind enough to try to figure out the truth

Actually, that's the weird thing about the OP: There was no mention of her pet dying in January and the persistant depression that ensued because of this.

She only mentioned holding a gun to her head (omitting the holster, which would have had much less dramatic effect, IMHO), and the treatment Gracie was given. We are left to connect many dots, and the way you connected them certainly was not unpredictable, or unusual.

Whether the selective omission of facts was purposeful or not....who knows? I'm of the opinion that it was NOT. Clearly Koosh is one troubled puppy, and could easily have composed an imperfect OP.

You might just be the very definition of cynical. That's what I like about you.

 

[Samson]

You're not the least bit suicidal but you posted you were based on your grief over your dogs passing. So now anything you post is suspect. I'm not patient enough or kind enough to try to figure out the truth

Actually, that's the weird thing about the OP: There was no mention of her pet dying in January and the persistant depression that ensued because of this.

She only mentioned holding a gun to her head (omitting the holster, which would have had much less dramatic effect, IMHO), and the treatment Gracie was given. We are left to connect many dots, and the way you connected them certainly was not unpredictable, or unusual.

Whether the selective omission of facts was purposeful or not....who knows? I'm of the opinion that it was NOT. Clearly Koosh is one troubled puppy, and could easily have composed an imperfect OP.

You might just be the very definition of cynical. That's what I like about you.

Here I though you liked me because you made me wet my pants.

 

[Noomi]

You're not the least bit suicidal but you posted you were based on your grief over your dogs passing. So now anything you post is suspect. I'm not patient enough or kind enough to try to figure out the truth

People can become extremely depressed over the loss of a pet. I have no doubt that Koosha is grieving.

 

[Samson]

You're not the least bit suicidal but you posted you were based on your grief over your dogs passing. So now anything you post is suspect. I'm not patient enough or kind enough to try to figure out the truth

People can become extremely depressed over the loss of a pet. I have no doubt that Koosha is grieving.

Bit of a difference between grieving and being suicidal.




Frankly, it comes as no surprise you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

 

[Avatar4321]

depression sucks. just dont give up hope.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

You're not the least bit suicidal but you posted you were based on your grief over your dogs passing. So now anything you post is suspect. I'm not patient enough or kind enough to try to figure out the truth

Ummm...I didn't say I "was suicidal." I said I held a gun to my head to see what it felt like. Yes it was in a holster, and no I didn't put my finger on the trigger. But I think it's a little scary to be pointing a large revolver at your head and wondering what it would be like to shoot yourself. The state I was in when I did it is probably the scariest thing. Kind of quiet and weird. Not myself.

I also researched ways to kill yourself and that's how I knew you don't just sit in the garage with the car running, you connect a hose to the exhaust and run it into the car.

Now, I wouldn't say that I'm suicidal, necessarily, but I am a little concerned about these things.

When they ask that question..."Do you have thoughts of suicide?" I would definitely have to answer "yes." And this is kind of a first for me, I'm been through some pretty bad shit and never thought about suicide, not even briefly.

I never meant to imply that I held a loaded gun to my head, cocked it and was starting to squeeze the trigger but came to my senses. My post was the complete truth. I've grown up around guns all my life, and holstered or not, you don't point them at your head. I am honestly concerned that I did something like that.

I think sometimes people commit suicide on an impulse, and that is why this is concerning. It's kind of like rehearsing. Like I said, I don't think I would commit suicide because I'm too big of a chicken, but who knows? Do normal people act like I've been acting lately?

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

You're not the least bit suicidal but you posted you were based on your grief over your dogs passing. So now anything you post is suspect. I'm not patient enough or kind enough to try to figure out the truth

People can become extremely depressed over the loss of a pet. I have no doubt that Koosha is grieving.

Bit of a difference between grieving and being suicidal.




Frankly, it comes as no surprise you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

Bit of a difference between grieving and being suicidal? But don't you see that the two might often go hand in hand?