Yes I have past

[Iceweasel]

I'm a retired prize fighter. Champion in my weight division, once considered pound for pound the squirreliest pro boxer ever. No, I'm not giving out my name. I once beat the entire Norman Luboff choir senseless but they had it coming, being off key the way they were. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx, you should have seen mine. He's kick my ass for something I didn't do and then do it again if it looked like I was unhappy about it. I joined the military so I could grow my hair and relax.

 

[Statistikhengst]

I was born under a glacier and with my bare hands, as as 2 hour old child, clawed my way to the top; then I killed a bear and used his skin to make my first clothes. Then, I walked 3,000 miles barefoot in the snow without ever pissing upwind until, at the strapping age of 2, I landed in Ohio. I then proceeded ingest small portions of kryptonite every night. I bent my first spoon with my mind when I was five. Grandma ,sorry, I know that was your favorite spoon. When I was 6, using my mind power, I helped the Apollo 11 to land on the moon - they never knew that I did it. By the time I was 13, my cock grew to be 18 and 1/2 inches long and I then did high quality porn for the next 10 years (at night) while studying rocket science and time travel (during the day). I then, in between beating up punks right and left, transported Obama to Mars and secretly placed his birth announcements in a number of Honolulu newspapers when I myself travelled back into time. When I got back, I then started to eat more kryptonite and now every night, I fly to the sun and back at least once, just to stay in shape. Over the last 20 years, my penis has now grown to a legendary 27 inches and is an excellent softball bat. I once blew the OP's dad a kiss and the wind blew him over. Iron Man tried to audition with me, but he couldn't keep up. True story. And fuck anyone who doesn't believe this incredibly true story.

 

[percysunshine]

Yes USMB, I have a past, well la dee dah.

And that doesn't mean that I'm a fucking pussy today either, and that doesn't mean that I would allow somebody to tell me what the fuck to do today either.

Everybody who is almost 30 years old, like me... has a past.
And guess what ?

I also have baggage.
I have a hell of a lot more baggage than about 75-80 % of people my age.

.....

So the moral of the story is.... I have a past, and I am not mister perfect, and I am also not mister henpecked husband either nor am I mister pushover, and I don't intend on being either.

.

USMB has a $25 surcharge for extra bags, with no guarantees about lost luggage.

.

 

[percysunshine]

I was born under a glacier and with my bare hands....

.

You were self delivered? That is one hell of a trick right there...

.

 

[Judicial review]

I was born under a glacier and with my bare hands....

.

You were self delivered? That is one hell of a trick right there...

.

He was was drunk on the titanic and fell on the the glacier when the titanic hit, and the rest is history.

 

[Iceweasel]

USMB has a $25 surcharge for extra bags, with no guarantees about lost luggage.

I think his luggage has been going around the carousel for a long time now.

 

[Statistikhengst]

I was born under a glacier and with my bare hands....

.

You were self delivered? That is one hell of a trick right there...

.

The immaculate glacieration.

 

[percysunshine]

I was born under a glacier and with my bare hands....

.

You were self delivered? That is one hell of a trick right there...

.

He was was drunk on the titanic and fell on the the glacier when the titanic hit, and the rest is history.

.

Everyone, eventually, must run the USMB gauntlet. Statisticalangst ran it when he first started posting ... now it is your turn.


What is the land airspeed velocity of an unladen European swallow?

.

 

[Statistikhengst]

I was born under a glacier and with my bare hands....

.

You were self delivered? That is one hell of a trick right there...

.

He was was drunk on the titanic and fell on the the glacier when the titanic hit, and the rest is history.

.

Everyone, eventually, must run the USMB gauntlet. Statisticalangst ran it when he first started posting ... now it is your turn.


What is the land airspeed velocity of an unladen European swallow?

.

What do you intend to swallow, again?

 

[Statistikhengst]

Someone needs to make a "Yes, I have future" thread....

 

[Iceweasel]

What is the land airspeed velocity of an unladen European swallow?

Trick question, European swallows never velocitate on land while they are unlading.

 

[Iceweasel]

Don't give Jud any hints. Let him do this on his own....chuckle

I learned that while searching for a bucket of relative bearing grease on a Coast Guard cutter.

 

[Roadrunner]

Don't give Jud any hints. Let him do this on his own....chuckle

I learned that while searching for a bucket of relative bearing grease on a Coast Guard cutter.

Was that left handed or right handed relative bearing grease?