After Motorcade Involved In Minor Accident, Tim Walz Asks to Add Purple Heart To Resume

[Votto]

After the recent car accident involving Tim Walz, it was reported that Tim officially requested a purple heart after the accident.

To be approved for the medal, Tim first had to answer a questionnaire he had to fill out and send in the US armed services

Here is a sample:

The petitioning soldier must comply with the following:

(1) In any action against an enemy of the United States.

Yes, I was in the process of running for political office against Donald Trump, aka Hitler, who is a well-known combatant of the United States.

(2) As a result of an act of any such enemy of opposing armed forces.

See above

(3) Once a member of the armed forces and has seen combat outside the United States.

Um.........................not sure.............no wait, our car was hit in Canada. Sure, that's the ticket. I was attacked outside the borders of the US. Next question.

Unfortunately, however, the petition was rejected for obvious reasons. But on the bright side, Tim did end up being nominated for a Golden Turkey Award after turning in the bogus petition for a purple heart.

Tim Walz, what a turkey he really is.

 

[Augustine_]

He should've argued his way out of being in the motorcade by claiming bone spurs

 

[Crepitus]

View attachment 1006541

After the recent car accident involving Tim Walz, it was reported that Tim officially requested a purple heart after the accident.

To be approved for the medal, Tim first had to answer a questionnaire he had to fill out and send in the US armed services

Here is a sample:

The petitioning soldier must comply with the following:

(1) In any action against an enemy of the United States.

Yes, I was in the process of running for political office against Donald Trump, aka Hitler, who is a well-known combatant of the United States.

(2) As a result of an act of any such enemy of opposing armed forces.

See above

(3) Once a member of the armed forces and has seen combat outside the United States.

Um.........................not sure.............no wait, our car was hit in Canada. Sure, that's the ticket. I was attacked outside the borders of the US. Next question.

Unfortunately, however, the petition was rejected for obvious reasons. But on the bright side, Tim did end up being nominated for a Golden Turkey Award after turning in the bogus petition for a purple heart.

Tim Walz, what a turkey he really is.

I like your determination, but you still aren't funny.

 

[mamooth]

Conservative "satire" is always so lame. As it's not related to reality in any way, it makes no sense, so normal people see it as a display of butthurt.

Conservatives in general fail at humor because conservatives see cruelty, humiliation and punching down as being funny, and normal people are disgusted by such behavior.