Anyone of you old geezers have any stories about your colonoscopies?

[Rocko]

i just had one. Not pretty! First I hurt my back at the gym. Then my doc prescribed ibuprofen for it. Well apparently the ibuprofen caused internal bleeding and my hemoglobin levels were at 6! The problem was I wasn’t feeling pain from the bleeding, just lightheaded when I would stand and i also was suffering from exhaustion. Anyway to find out where I was bleeding from they first did an endoscopy, and when that wasn’t conclusive they did a colonoscopy. After the colonoscopy couldn’t find the bleed I had to swallow a pill with a camera in it, but forget about that I want to talk about my experience with the colonoscopy lol. The colonoscopy itself is no big deal because you’re on such powerful drugs that you don’t feel anything, nor do you remember the procedure. The colonoscopy prep as they call it is the nightmare. First they made me drink a gallon of this salty, disgusting laxative that is supposed to be the best thing to clean you out before the procedure. I was drinking it up until the last cup of it. I threw it all up - a gallon of that shit. All over myself and my hospital bed. So after the nurses cleaned me up (the nurses were hot btw) they had to stick a tube up my nose going down my stomach so they could pour the stuff directly into my stomach from my nose. This process took 5 or 6 hours and it hurt my nose and throat like crazy. Now mind you I’m in an uncomfortable hospital bed, hooked up to an IV, a bag of blood for a blood transfusion and a bag of iron, so going to the bathroom wasn’t a possibility. They had to put a commode near my bed. The only problem was they forgot to put the big bucket inside the commode and things got extremely messy when I went. It was a disaster. I shit all over everywhere like you would not believe. The nurses cleaned me up and cleaned the room. I was really impressed with them. The next day right before the procedure they made me me put an enema in my rectum that caused an automatic bowl movement. That was messy as well, and disgusting. My experience was dreadful

 

[Coyote]

TMI

 

[Moonglow]

Usually you are euthanized er I mean anesthetized and sleep through the hole thing...Waking to a bloody anus and a deep feeling of remorse in yer anal cavity...While the attendant smiles evil grins....

 

[Rocko]

TMI

Probably..

 

[Rocko]

Usually you are euthanized er I mean anesthetized and sleep through the hole thing...Waking to a bloody anus and a deep feeling of remorse in yer anal cavity...While the attendant smiles evil grins....

As I said it’s not the procedure that’s bad, it’s the prep.

 

[Moonglow]

Just wait until the prostate exam, don't get a woody...

 

[Coyote]

The prep....



sucks.

 

[Moonglow]

Usually you are euthanized er I mean anesthetized and sleep through the hole thing...Waking to a bloody anus and a deep feeling of remorse in yer anal cavity...While the attendant smiles evil grins....

As I said it’s not the procedure that’s bad, it’s the prep.

Yes the drinking of the nasty chaulk is most regrettable, but so is not knowing what they really did while passed out....

 

[Coyote]

They probably tell raunchy jokes about the state of your anus.

 

[Rocko]

Usually you are euthanized er I mean anesthetized and sleep through the hole thing...Waking to a bloody anus and a deep feeling of remorse in yer anal cavity...While the attendant smiles evil grins....

As I said it’s not the procedure that’s bad, it’s the prep.

Yes the drinking of the nasty chaulk is most regrettable, but so is not knowing what they really did while passed out....

I didn’t even think of that....thanks

 

[Moonglow]

When I had surgery for hydrocele in my thirties they were going to shave my, ahem, balls and scrotum..I let them know it was okay to enjoy the perfect piece while working..

 

[Hossfly]

i just had one. Not pretty! First I hurt my back at the gym. Then my doc prescribed ibuprofen for it. Well apparently the ibuprofen caused internal bleeding and my hemoglobin levels were at 6! The problem was I wasn’t feeling pain from the bleeding, just lightheaded when I would stand and i also was suffering from exhaustion. Anyway to find out where I was bleeding from they first did an endoscopy, and when that wasn’t conclusive they did a colonoscopy. After the colonoscopy couldn’t find the bleed I had to swallow a pill with a camera in it, but forget about that I want to talk about my experience with the colonoscopy lol. The colonoscopy itself is no big deal because you’re on such powerful drugs that you don’t feel anything, nor do you remember the procedure. The colonoscopy prep as they call it is the nightmare. First they made me drink a gallon of this salty, disgusting laxative that is supposed to be the best thing to clean you out before the procedure. I was drinking it up until the last cup of it. I threw it all up - a gallon of that shit. All over myself and my hospital bed. So after the nurses cleaned me up (the nurses were hot btw) they had to stick a tube up my nose going down my stomach so they could pour the stuff directly into my stomach from my nose. This process took 5 or 6 hours and it hurt my nose and throat like crazy. Now mind you I’m in an uncomfortable hospital bed, hooked up to an IV, a bag of blood for a blood transfusion and a bag of iron, so going to the bathroom wasn’t a possibility. They had to put a commode near my bed. The only problem was they forgot to put the big bucket inside the commode and things got extremely messy when I went. It was a disaster. I shit all over everywhere like you would not believe. The nurses cleaned me up and cleaned the room. I was really impressed with them. The next day right before the procedure they made me me put an enema in my rectum that caused an automatic bowl movement. That was messy as well, and disgusting. My experience was dreadful

Oh, shit!

 

[JoeMoma]

I had one. I felt like I was getting raped by the doctor.

 

[JustAnotherNut]

i just had one. Not pretty! First I hurt my back at the gym. Then my doc prescribed ibuprofen for it. Well apparently the ibuprofen caused internal bleeding and my hemoglobin levels were at 6! The problem was I wasn’t feeling pain from the bleeding, just lightheaded when I would stand and i also was suffering from exhaustion. Anyway to find out where I was bleeding from they first did an endoscopy, and when that wasn’t conclusive they did a colonoscopy. After the colonoscopy couldn’t find the bleed I had to swallow a pill with a camera in it, but forget about that I want to talk about my experience with the colonoscopy lol. The colonoscopy itself is no big deal because you’re on such powerful drugs that you don’t feel anything, nor do you remember the procedure. The colonoscopy prep as they call it is the nightmare. First they made me drink a gallon of this salty, disgusting laxative that is supposed to be the best thing to clean you out before the procedure. I was drinking it up until the last cup of it. I threw it all up - a gallon of that shit. All over myself and my hospital bed. So after the nurses cleaned me up (the nurses were hot btw) they had to stick a tube up my nose going down my stomach so they could pour the stuff directly into my stomach from my nose. This process took 5 or 6 hours and it hurt my nose and throat like crazy. Now mind you I’m in an uncomfortable hospital bed, hooked up to an IV, a bag of blood for a blood transfusion and a bag of iron, so going to the bathroom wasn’t a possibility. They had to put a commode near my bed. The only problem was they forgot to put the big bucket inside the commode and things got extremely messy when I went. It was a disaster. I shit all over everywhere like you would not believe. The nurses cleaned me up and cleaned the room. I was really impressed with them. The next day right before the procedure they made me me put an enema in my rectum that caused an automatic bowl movement. That was messy as well, and disgusting. My experience was dreadful

Well I guess nobody could say you are full of shit......... (for a day or two anyway)

 

[MarathonMike]

I think it is fair to say you had the Mother of all colonoscopies. Mine was easy compared to all that. I did have to drink that liquid yuck but I did it all the day before. I had an IV drip and I remember looking at the TV screen. I told the doctor i wanted to be awake and I was initially, but he told me after that I seemed uncomfortable (wonder why?) so they knocked me out. The next minute I was waking up in the recovery room.

 

[Billy_Kinetta]

"The last thing I remember before going under was the lovely medical assistant Stacy slapping a big ol' glob of ice-cold KY jelly right on my ..."

 

[Borillar]

Just wait until the prostate exam, don't get a woody...

You can always ask the doc for a reach-around.

 

[my2¢]

Mine was uneventful, beforehand I recall being wheeled into the room. Next thing I'm in aftercare where the place sort of sounded like the camp cookout scene in Blazing Saddles.

 

[Slyhunter]

My first time I had a bowel movement in a Dollar General. I got up to wipe my ass and had blood dribbling out my ass onto the floor. I waded up toilet paper after toilet paper and they were all soaked with blood so I called 911. I left bits of shit and blood all over that bathroom. Hours I spend in the Emergency room covered in shit before I was allowed to take a shower. Then I had to do prep work for my first time and it was awful. They put a porto-potty in my room. My family came in to visit me while I was in the middle of shitting and never figured it out until I got up to wipe my ass. Well there was the smell. I remember thinking as they stuck that pipe up my ass, hey wait I'm still awake. 15 minutes of poking and proding my ass and they were done. And I had cancer in my polyps.

My second time, I did at home. No cancer. But doc said inconclusive because I did the prep wrong.

The third time. I did the prep right. Shitting yellow gunk out my ass towards the end of it. Then the magnesium. Then the blood. Lots of blood pee'd out my ass. Then the enema. And they had to clean the bathroom from the blood dropplings I left on the floor. They did endoscopy and a colonoscopy at the same time and I was conscious for the whole bit. My bare ass stuck out the back, my mouth with a pipe stuck in it and my tongue was in the pipe. The dr. in front of me holding a hose saying I can't get this in, his tongue is in the way. That was after they argued where they were going to put the bed to do both because they've never done both in that small of a room before.

After 2 years of tests and bullshit, I don't have cancer. I don't need chemo, or radiation. It just miraculously cured itself. hallaluah.

I'm never doing it again. I could've skipped the whole thing and I would've been fine without owing the VA the copays.

 

[Borillar]

Prep was the worst part for me. They had me sedated for the procedure, so it was painless. I just remember going in and then waking up in recovery room.