Cheers!

[pacer]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=_EPsuOEH1fY]The Irish Rovers - The Unicorn Song - YouTube[/ame]

 

[Statistikhengst]

The Irish Rovers - The Unicorn Song - YouTube

 

[Nosmo King]

Bars, St. Patrick's Day and funny Irish stories are a powerful emulsion in the early days of Spring. After a few pints, someone is bound to say in a loud, yet slurred voice "An' I'll tell ya another goddamn thing!" and then it's on!

Paddy and Michael bumped into one another on the street. Paddy seemed to be in an awful rush. Michael asks, "Where ya off to in such a hurry, Paddy me lad?"

"Ah Michael!" began Paddy, "There's a bar that for fifty cents, ya get a pint, a lunch and then they take ya into the back room and get ya laid!"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute!" exclaimed Michael "Yer tellin' me that there's a bar that for only fifty cents ya get a pint, a lunch and then they get ya laid?!? I don't believe it! Have ye ever been there lad?"

Paddy considered the question and said "No... but me sister has!"

 

[Derideo_Te]

Paddy's Wedding Night!

Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses & lies on the bed spreadeagled and says "You know what I want dont you?"

"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole friggin' bed by the looks of it!"

 

[Statistikhengst]

Paddy is very, very sick. Paddy goes to the doc, who runs a number of tests and tells Paddy to come back two dees layter.

Two dees Layter, Paddy is too sick to got to the doctor, so he sends his lass.

His wife of 40 yeers appears in the doctor's office, where Dr. O'Malley says:

"Mrs. Paddy, I've a wee bit o bad news fer ye. Yer man is very, very sick. If you want him to survive this dread ordeal, they ye must cook him three good meals a day, do all his clothes her him and give him sex twice a day".

Mrs. Paddy hear ye old Dr.'s words, turns around, go home.

Paddy, wheezing, says: "na deerie, what ye olde Doctor say?"

Mrs. Paddy: "he's says yer going to die!"

 

[Nosmo King]

Paddy is sitting at his kitchen table confused and worried. His friend Michael tapped at the door and Paddy was so relieved to see him.

"Michael! Tank God! I've been sittin' here workin' at this jigsaw puzzle and I'm stumped! It's supposed to be a likeness of a tiger, but I cannot figger it out!"

"Paddy!" said Michael, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box and sober up!"

 

[Nosmo King]

Elderly Paddy and his wife are in the doctor's office together seeking a cure to Paddy's malady. The puzzled doctor told Paddy "I want to run some tests, Paddy. But I'll need some specimens. Can ya bring me a stool sample, a urine sample and a sample o' yer semen?"

Elderly Paddy has lost most of his hearing and leaned forward "Eh?"

To avoid further repetition and confusion, Mrs. Paddy turned Elderly Paddy's face toward hers and spoke in a loud, clear voice "He wants a pair of yer underwear!"

 

[Dot Com]

lol

 

[Sarah G]

Paddy is very, very sick. Paddy goes to the doc, who runs a number of tests and tells Paddy to come back two dees layter.

Two dees Layter, Paddy is too sick to got to the doctor, so he sends his lass.

His wife of 40 yeers appears in the doctor's office, where Dr. O'Malley says:

"Mrs. Paddy, I've a wee bit o bad news fer ye. Yer man is very, very sick. If you want him to survive this dread ordeal, they ye must cook him three good meals a day, do all his clothes her him and give him sex twice a day".

Mrs. Paddy hear ye old Dr.'s words, turns around, go home.

Paddy, wheezing, says: "na deerie, what ye olde Doctor say?"

Mrs. Paddy: "he's says yer going to die!"

 

[Sarah G]

Elderly Paddy and his wife are in the doctor's office together seeking a cure to Paddy's malady. The puzzled doctor told Paddy "I want to run some tests, Paddy. But I'll need some specimens. Can ya bring me a stool sample, a urine sample and a sample o' yer semen?"

Elderly Paddy has lost most of his hearing and leaned forward "Eh?"

To avoid further repetition and confusion, Mrs. Paddy turned Elderly Paddy's face toward hers and spoke in a loud, clear voice "He wants a pair of yer underwear!"

 

[Mertex]

Hi, Stats. Just popped in to say I heard on the radio the RIDE program will be in effect throughout the entire St. Paddy's Day weekend through to Monday, starting at noon today.

You may want to pass it along to your customers to not drink and drive; take a taxi or get a designated driver.

I will be personally carrying them out or using my green lantern power to get them home!!

Here, sit down, read the newspaper:

Hey, some of us may decide to just spend the night here......when you pass out, you pass out....

 

[Mertex]

Woohoo.....looking mighty sexy there, Ms Boop!

 

[Mertex]

The Irish Rovers - The Unicorn Song - YouTube

Hmmmm, now that's a fine color of green, if I say so myself.....

 

[Sarah G]

An Irish man is sitting at a bar drinking
A flamboyantly gay man comes up to him and asks, “can i give you a blow job?”
The Irishman stands up and punches the gay man.
The bar tender comes over and asks, “Why did you hit that guy?”
The Irish man replied, “He said somethin about me gettin a job

 

[pacer]

The Irish Rovers - The Unicorn Song - YouTube

Hmmmm, now that's a fine color of green, if I say so myself.....

It's a beautiful olive green. I owned two cars the same colour.

 

[Statistikhengst]

The Irish Rovers - The Unicorn Song - YouTube

Hmmmm, now that's a fine color of green, if I say so myself.....

It's a beautiful olive green. I owned two cars the same colour.

Did you own both of them at once?


I need you to do a favor for me, Pacer. Drink a beer for me on Patties Day!

 

[pacer]

Hmmmm, now that's a fine color of green, if I say so myself.....

It's a beautiful olive green. I owned two cars the same colour.

Did you own both of them at once?


I need you to do a favor for me, Pacer. Drink a beer for me on Patties Day!

No, I didn't own both cars at the same time. lol I can only afford to buy one at a time.

I will certainly have a beer on St. Paddy's day. It goes without saying.

 

[Statistikhengst]

It's a beautiful olive green. I owned two cars the same colour.

Did you own both of them at once?


I need you to do a favor for me, Pacer. Drink a beer for me on Patties Day!

No, I didn't own both cars at the same time. lol I can only afford to buy one at a time.

I will certainly have a beer on St. Paddy's day. It goes without saying.

Good. Cuz I can't....

 

[pacer]

Did you own both of them at once?


I need you to do a favor for me, Pacer. Drink a beer for me on Patties Day!

No, I didn't own both cars at the same time. lol I can only afford to buy one at a time.

I will certainly have a beer on St. Paddy's day. It goes without saying.

Good. Cuz I can't....

Why can you not, Stats, if you mind my asking?

 

[Statistikhengst]

No, I didn't own both cars at the same time. lol I can only afford to buy one at a time.

I will certainly have a beer on St. Paddy's day. It goes without saying.

Good. Cuz I can't....

Why can you not, Stats, if you mind my asking?

I have an extremely rare allergy to beer. Not a drop for me.

However, I am part Irish somewhere in me body, fer Eye can dreek whiskey all night long!!!