Statistikhengst
Diamond Member
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #621
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- Thread starter Statistikhengst
- Start date
Who's still here?
Have you little Bastards reached the stars yet?
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiOr5WoAJgg]George Harrison & Paul Simon - Here Comes The Sun - YouTube[/ame]
Have you little Bastards reached the stars yet?
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiOr5WoAJgg]George Harrison & Paul Simon - Here Comes The Sun - YouTube[/ame]
Drink up!!!
Twist my arm.
Ow! Enough!!
Gimme a beer already!
Mertex
Cat Lady =^..^=
- Apr 27, 2013
- 26,532
- 13,987
- 1,445
Before I leave for a while.....I'll leave my friend here.....please, see that he is treated nicely this time....whoever's in charge....
Tell your cat to let go of my Guinness.
No, no, that's his Guinness.......he's SirDrinksAlot.......
Mertex
Cat Lady =^..^=
- Apr 27, 2013
- 26,532
- 13,987
- 1,445
Before I leave for a while.....I'll leave my friend here.....please, see that he is treated nicely this time....whoever's in charge....
Tell your cat to let go of my Guinness.
All of Mertex's cats have drinking problems.
It can't just be a coincidence!
Are you insinuating something, Mister? Cause I'll turn my little fur ball loose on you.....
Mertex
Cat Lady =^..^=
- Apr 27, 2013
- 26,532
- 13,987
- 1,445
Tell your cat to let go of my Guinness.
All of Mertex's cats have drinking problems.
It can't just be a coincidence!
I must bite my tongue, I must bite my tongue, I must bite...
You're a very wise man.....
Nosmo King
Gold Member
It's Friday afternoon and not late enough for a wee dram of Scotch, but early enough for a draft beer. So pour me one and one for the bar and I'll tell you a joke.
Three general contractors were killed in a car crash on their way to a convention. One of the contractors was Jewish, another was Black and the third was Irish Catholic.
Standing before St. Peter, the trio was contrite and felt unworthy. St. Peter said "Gentlemen, I never admit general contractors to Heaven because, well you know how you treated your customers on earth and the sins you committed against your employees and subs. But, this may be our lucky day. The Pearly Gates are in desperate need of repair. Could you fellows submit a bid on the spot so I can discuss it with God?"
The Black contractor stepped right up, assessed the repairs the gates needed and said, "St. Peter, my firm can do the work for $5,000."
"Can you itemize your bid?" asked St. Peter.
"Well," began the Black contractor "We will install new hinges, replace some of the gem stones that have fallen out, reset the locks, provide video surveillance and polish all the hardware."
The Irish Catholic contractor took his turn. "St. Peter, I don't have to tell you how well these Heavenly Gates are regarded on earth. My firm will complete the work for $10,000. We will also reset the locks and hinges, replace all the gemstones, build a heated and air conditioned guard booth with a restroom for your comfort and convenience, and then make a substantial donation to Catholic Charities for tax purposes!"
Then the Jewish contractor draped his arm over St. Peter's shoulders and walked him toward the gates. "St. Peter, bubby, my firm will do the job for $55,000."
"That's eleven times the low bid! How am I supposed to sell that to the Lord?" exclaimed St. Peter.
"It breaks down like this" explained the Jewish contractor "$25,000 goes directly to you. $25,000 goes in my pocket. And then we hire the Colored boy for $5,000!"
Three general contractors were killed in a car crash on their way to a convention. One of the contractors was Jewish, another was Black and the third was Irish Catholic.
Standing before St. Peter, the trio was contrite and felt unworthy. St. Peter said "Gentlemen, I never admit general contractors to Heaven because, well you know how you treated your customers on earth and the sins you committed against your employees and subs. But, this may be our lucky day. The Pearly Gates are in desperate need of repair. Could you fellows submit a bid on the spot so I can discuss it with God?"
The Black contractor stepped right up, assessed the repairs the gates needed and said, "St. Peter, my firm can do the work for $5,000."
"Can you itemize your bid?" asked St. Peter.
"Well," began the Black contractor "We will install new hinges, replace some of the gem stones that have fallen out, reset the locks, provide video surveillance and polish all the hardware."
The Irish Catholic contractor took his turn. "St. Peter, I don't have to tell you how well these Heavenly Gates are regarded on earth. My firm will complete the work for $10,000. We will also reset the locks and hinges, replace all the gemstones, build a heated and air conditioned guard booth with a restroom for your comfort and convenience, and then make a substantial donation to Catholic Charities for tax purposes!"
Then the Jewish contractor draped his arm over St. Peter's shoulders and walked him toward the gates. "St. Peter, bubby, my firm will do the job for $55,000."
"That's eleven times the low bid! How am I supposed to sell that to the Lord?" exclaimed St. Peter.
"It breaks down like this" explained the Jewish contractor "$25,000 goes directly to you. $25,000 goes in my pocket. And then we hire the Colored boy for $5,000!"
Last edited:
Dot Com
Nullius in verba
best social club thread on USMB 
It is one of the best and I think it should be sticky'd as a permanent fixture in the USMB Lounge under the USMB Coffee Shop. Anyone else think this is a good idea?best social club thread on USMB
Stats informed me we're having a beer drinking contest this evening. You can enter your cat. LOLMy cat wanted to say hello to you all.....before he gets drunk and passes out......again...
Derideo_Te
Je Suis Charlie
- Mar 2, 2013
- 20,461
- 7,961
- 360
For your information, none of the contestants will be permitted to drive. Contestants will be chauffeured to their home, at Cheers' expense.
The free Cheers cab?
Or the sponsored cab?
Statistikhengst
Diamond Member
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #640
Oh, my, look at how her, uh, front end gets all wet....
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