Child Support is unfair

[Aristotle]

Again, the bulk of child support issues is in the context of divorce, where the parents made a decision and commitment to have and raise children together as a married couple.

Well that remains to be seen and if you havw statistics to back this claim up I am interested in seeing it.

The issue is that the states get a cut of the child support provided by a parent or both parents. The state sees children as items than human beings. Which is why paying cash and keeping receipts is not sufficient in family court. Any money has to go to the state and the state dispurses it. If a man goes deliquent on child support, he goes deliquent on the state not the child. Even if the man is providing the necessary aid for their child. Simply put, a man taking care of his child without the mediation.of the court is not going to offshoot any/or deliquency he mY have because the state didn't get its cut.

not that i've ever heard of. do you mean social services liens when the mother is collecting assistance?

Not sure of your question, can you rephrase it?

 

[jillian]

Well that remains to be seen and if you havw statistics to back this claim up I am interested in seeing it.

The issue is that the states get a cut of the child support provided by a parent or both parents. The state sees children as items than human beings. Which is why paying cash and keeping receipts is not sufficient in family court. Any money has to go to the state and the state dispurses it. If a man goes deliquent on child support, he goes deliquent on the state not the child. Even if the man is providing the necessary aid for their child. Simply put, a man taking care of his child without the mediation.of the court is not going to offshoot any/or deliquency he mY have because the state didn't get its cut.

not that i've ever heard of. do you mean social services liens when the mother is collecting assistance?

Not sure of your question, can you rephrase it?

sorry. i was saying that i've never heard of the state taking a vig on child support payments. so i was wondering if, perhaps, in those instances, assuming they exist, the state was taking money from dad's child support payments to pay back the state for public assistance payments they had given to mom.

 

[Aristotle]

not that i've ever heard of. do you mean social services liens when the mother is collecting assistance?

Not sure of your question, can you rephrase it?

sorry. i was saying that i've never heard of the state taking a vig on child support payments. so i was wondering if, perhaps, in those instances, assuming they exist, the state was taking money from dad's child support payments to pay back the state for public assistance payments they had given to mom.

Yes this is the case.

From my understanding speaking to my friend the state does get a what I personally call a "maintanence kickback." If you read the link I found by accident it explains that.

Here is a link that explains it in detail

http://fathersunite.org/ChildSupport/child_support_or_child_extortion.html

 

[Aristotle]

Here is a YouTube video that is perfect for this thread

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGGhKkzkSo8&feature=youtube_gdata_player]Are Child Support Rules Unfair to Fathers? - YouTube[/ame]

 

[Aristotle]

Another good video:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drI1YdbTSx8&feature=youtube_gdata_player

 

[Aristotle]

Hey ladies think the rest of you women are fair when it comes to child support?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hfRM3NbzwI&feature=youtube_gdata_player

 

[Aristotle]

Here is my final argument since my videos have shown actual fathers who are responsible and get the low end of the stick.

Only reasons states put men in jail is because of deliquency due to failure to receive a kickback. Of course you won't know that because it obviously doesn't say kickback but do enough research the states get a percentage from the federal government.

Women say "he should've worn a condom" but comments like these vindicate women who have bad breakups justifying their vindictiveness in going to court. A man in jail or homeless is no good to the child because he thus becomes apart of the system and is an absentee father.

 

[High_Gravity]

Here is my final argument since my videos have shown actual fathers who are responsible and get the low end of the stick.

Only reasons states put men in jail is because of deliquency due to failure to receive a kickback. Of course you won't know that because it obviously doesn't say kickback but do enough research the states get a percentage from the federal government.

Women say "he should've worn a condom" but comments like these vindicate women who have bad breakups justifying their vindictiveness in going to court. A man in jail or homeless is no good to the child because he thus becomes apart of the system and is an absentee father.

Its like you said though the system doesn't really care about the child involved, this is all about one thing.

 

[Borillar]

I am in no way defending the irresponisbility of men who lack the fortitude to take care of their own responsibility as an adult, but I firmly believe any system that awards someone with money ought to be tracked. I'm not sure about you guys but I meet far too many men with no representation regarding child support and the issues they face regarding money. How is it that the state can track EBT payments but not child support? I personally believe the system is unfair towards responsible men and are soft on irresponsible women....What say ye?

If they were to do so, then they'd be accused of starting a war on women. Actually, here in Louisiana, you can bring an action against a parent for misuse of child support... but it is a tough nut to crack. You'd better have pretty damning evidence or it's going to be dismissed. Or worse, it could be ordered that the parent just isn't receiving enough, that's why the kids aren't being taken care of properly.

Exactly what happened to me. Ex ran off with an old boyfriend and took the kids with her. She used my child support money to buy crack and beer. The state wouldn't even look into this. All they wanted to know was how much money I made and then upped my support payments. They didn't care about morality, the welfare of the children, right or wrong. It was just all about $$$ and that's it. I had my kids back in my custody when they were 16 after the bastard who wrecked my marriage turned around and left my ex. Even while I had my kids living with me, the state continued to take my money and gave it to my ex. I had to fight to end that.

If it is all about the welfare of the children, then why aren't more men awarded custody of their kids? Why is it automatically assumed that women are better parents? Why are kids treated as the sole property of the mother? Why is it that the mother can do any damn thing she wants to do, and there isn't anything the dad can do about it unless he wants to bring in a lawyer (which he probably can't afford due to the massive "child support" payments he has to make)?

 

[koshergrl]

Here is my final argument since my videos have shown actual fathers who are responsible and get the low end of the stick.

Only reasons states put men in jail is because of deliquency due to failure to receive a kickback. Of course you won't know that because it obviously doesn't say kickback but do enough research the states get a percentage from the federal government.

Women say "he should've worn a condom" but comments like these vindicate women who have bad breakups justifying their vindictiveness in going to court. A man in jail or homeless is no good to the child because he thus becomes apart of the system and is an absentee father.

All those points have already been dealt with. In great detail.

 

[koshergrl]

Here is my final argument since my videos have shown actual fathers who are responsible and get the low end of the stick.

Only reasons states put men in jail is because of deliquency due to failure to receive a kickback. Of course you won't know that because it obviously doesn't say kickback but do enough research the states get a percentage from the federal government.

Women say "he should've worn a condom" but comments like these vindicate women who have bad breakups justifying their vindictiveness in going to court. A man in jail or homeless is no good to the child because he thus becomes apart of the system and is an absentee father.

Its like you said though the system doesn't really care about the child involved, this is all about one thing.

If you had ever raised a child on your own, you would know exactly how much of that it takes to do it. People seem to think women should be able to raise children without any support. I promise you, children can't be raised without money. Poverty leads to failure in children, but I guess most of the guys on this thread are okay with keeping kids in poverty.

 

[Borillar]

Here is my final argument since my videos have shown actual fathers who are responsible and get the low end of the stick.

Only reasons states put men in jail is because of deliquency due to failure to receive a kickback. Of course you won't know that because it obviously doesn't say kickback but do enough research the states get a percentage from the federal government.

Women say "he should've worn a condom" but comments like these vindicate women who have bad breakups justifying their vindictiveness in going to court. A man in jail or homeless is no good to the child because he thus becomes apart of the system and is an absentee father.

Its like you said though the system doesn't really care about the child involved, this is all about one thing.

If you had ever raised a child on your own, you would know exactly how much of that it takes to do it. People seem to think women should be able to raise children without any support. I promise you, children can't be raised without money. Poverty leads to failure in children, but I guess most of the guys on this thread are okay with keeping kids in poverty.

Maybe the kids should go live with dad then, since according to women, he has an endless supply of money.

 

[koshergrl]

Which women say that?

 

[Bigfoot]

I raised my kid on my own with no child support. I didn't want any.

 

[koshergrl]

I have raised 4 of my own, and at times 2 extras on my own with no child support.

I would like to be able to feed my kids something besides beans and rice, but hey, apparently that makes me money hungry.

 

[Borillar]

Which women say that?

I apologize for my hyperbole. This discussion opened up some old wounds, a very painful chapter in my life. Even though the events happened almost 20 years ago, it still pisses me off.

I still recall the pain of my ex leaving. The worry I felt over my kids. The anger of having to fund her life choices. In all the things she did, the welfare of our kids was pretty far down the list. None of that mattered to the state. All that mattered was how much $$$ they could extract. For years, I had to live in crappy apartments and drive old beater cars and wear thrift store clothes because it was all I could afford. I had to go through bankruptcy for our debts, which of course, she didn't have to pay a penny of.

The capper came a few years later after her boyfriend left her and the kids came home to live with me. Even though I had the kids, I still had to pay her child support. I had to fight to end the support payments. She never had to pay me a thin dime of child support. Where was the welfare of the children in all this? Seems like "child support" has less to do with the children and more to do with spousal lifestyle support. YMMV.

 

[Bigfoot]

I have raised 4 of my own, and at times 2 extras on my own with no child support.

I would like to be able to feed my kids something besides beans and rice, but hey, apparently that makes me money hungry.

We have seven kids between us. I raised one and three step-kids at the same time without aid. I don't think anyone is singling you out as you have proven what a good person you are on this forum. I think that it is more the overall perception of the weighted child-support system that regularly and often unfairly targets fathers. Government programs can not solve everything and the child support program (to me) is geared more as a revenue generating apparatus for government then a system to help children while playing fairly to both parents.

 

[sealadaigh]

Here is my final argument since my videos have shown actual fathers who are responsible and get the low end of the stick.

Only reasons states put men in jail is because of deliquency due to failure to receive a kickback. Of course you won't know that because it obviously doesn't say kickback but do enough research the states get a percentage from the federal government.

Women say "he should've worn a condom" but comments like these vindicate women who have bad breakups justifying their vindictiveness in going to court. A man in jail or homeless is no good to the child because he thus becomes apart of the system and is an absentee father.

Its like you said though the system doesn't really care about the child involved, this is all about one thing.

If you had ever raised a child on your own, you would know exactly how much of that it takes to do it. People seem to think women should be able to raise children without any support. I promise you, children can't be raised without money. Poverty leads to failure in children, but I guess most of the guys on this thread are okay with keeping kids in poverty.

i raised my son on my own and the court's awarded me $25.00/month child support. i didn't take it.

if you have ever raised a child on your own as a single father without the many safety nets made available to women, you wouldn't be so flippant.

 

[koshergrl]

Uh...what safety nets are available to mothers that aren't available to mothers?

 

[sealadaigh]

Which women say that?

I apologize for my hyperbole. This discussion opened up some old wounds, a very painful chapter in my life. Even though the events happened almost 20 years ago, it still pisses me off.

I still recall the pain of my ex leaving. The worry I felt over my kids. The anger of having to fund her life choices. In all the things she did, the welfare of our kids was pretty far down the list. None of that mattered to the state. All that mattered was how much $$$ they could extract. For years, I had to live in crappy apartments and drive old beater cars and wear thrift store clothes because it was all I could afford. I had to go through bankruptcy for our debts, which of course, she didn't have to pay a penny of.

The capper came a few years later after her boyfriend left her and the kids came home to live with me. Even though I had the kids, I still had to pay her child support. I had to fight to end the support payments. She never had to pay me a thin dime of child support. Where was the welfare of the children in all this? Seems like "child support" has less to do with the children and more to do with spousal lifestyle support. YMMV.

been there. i got custody of my son when he was three years old and continued to have pay child support to his mom for two years after that. i had to go to court and saaid "here, i cannot afford to provide or this child anymore" and they finally stopped.