Abishai100
VIP Member
- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,957
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This a sports-media parody inspired by Jerry Maguire.
What do you think?
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We the members of the United Philadelphia Front (UPF) which includes aliens from the mystical green planet of Vega (outside Earth's solar-system!) are proud to defend the media and democratic 'values/virtues' that make the supreme Underdog Team of the New Millennium, the gritty and inspiring Philadelphia Eagles, a modern symbol of fanfare excellence. We are not terrorists but rather Utopian Idealists and as such condemn the tragedies of 9/11 and Black Friday 2017 (when 300 Sufi Muslims were murdered in an Egyptian mosque apparently by ISIS terrorist forces!). We believe that the NFL is a proud trophy of media inclusiveness and that the high-flying Eagles (reaching the NFC Championship game a whopping 6 times since 2000!) reflect our mission of promoting 'pedestrian friendship.'
We know that Tom Brady's Goliath-like 'Metal Machine' New England Patriots are by far the Super Bowl Team of the New Millennium, but we also hope that the Philly-Eagles can reach Super Bowl 52 and pull off arguably the greatest upset in NFL history by finally downing the seemingly-indomitable(!!!) Patriots. We feel empathy for Patriots fans who lack our sense of camaraderie and are therefore 'jealous' of our sense of unified brotherhood in the prophetic 'City of Brotherly Love.' We therefore welcome all kinds of joint Patriots-Eagles parties and BBQs on city apartment rooftops on relatively warm days (unaffected by the odiousness of global warming!) when fans of both the Patriots and Eagles can embrace the power the media/TV has in promoting all-around citizenry-revelry! This is indeed our 'Mission Statement.'
We also know that if the Philadelphia Eagles lose in the NFC Championship game this year (to the very mighty Minnesota Vikings) and the Patriots go on to win their record 6th Super Bowl title (since 2000!), we will be remembered as cheerful pro-Philly 'crusaders' and friends of democracy. That is why the United Philadelphia Front (UPF), led by our 'Lord Protector' Damien Patel (Indian-American U.S. citizen from an Ivy League school), is committed to pure debate.
GOD: I like this 'Lord Protector' Damien Patel.
SATAN: I don't trust anyone with the surname 'Patel.'
GOD: I think you worry too much about immigration.
SATAN: Is Philadelphia truly a pluralistic place?
GOD: I think the Eagles fanfare exemplifies multiculturalism!
SATAN: Really? Maybe Philadelphia will succumb to a race-riot.
GOD: No, Philly is nothing like Los Angeles...
SATAN: Perhaps Damien Patel is the 'right stuff.'
GOD: I hope he can safeguard Americans from fanaticism.
SATAN: Rebelliousness is a part of the American nature.
GOD: America is a land of 'negotiation,' and I like Hollywood.
SATAN: Movie-stars (e.g., Tom Cruise) symbolize fanfare, not IQ.
GOD: I disagree. Sports-themed films (e.g., Jerry Maguire) represent democracy.
SATAN: Maybe Patel's Eagles-fanfare trumpeting will increase comic book sales!
GOD: I could see Green Lantern becoming very popular because of Eagles spirit.
SATAN: I wager 1-million Yen that the Eagles win Super Bowl 52.
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What do you think?
====
We the members of the United Philadelphia Front (UPF) which includes aliens from the mystical green planet of Vega (outside Earth's solar-system!) are proud to defend the media and democratic 'values/virtues' that make the supreme Underdog Team of the New Millennium, the gritty and inspiring Philadelphia Eagles, a modern symbol of fanfare excellence. We are not terrorists but rather Utopian Idealists and as such condemn the tragedies of 9/11 and Black Friday 2017 (when 300 Sufi Muslims were murdered in an Egyptian mosque apparently by ISIS terrorist forces!). We believe that the NFL is a proud trophy of media inclusiveness and that the high-flying Eagles (reaching the NFC Championship game a whopping 6 times since 2000!) reflect our mission of promoting 'pedestrian friendship.'
We know that Tom Brady's Goliath-like 'Metal Machine' New England Patriots are by far the Super Bowl Team of the New Millennium, but we also hope that the Philly-Eagles can reach Super Bowl 52 and pull off arguably the greatest upset in NFL history by finally downing the seemingly-indomitable(!!!) Patriots. We feel empathy for Patriots fans who lack our sense of camaraderie and are therefore 'jealous' of our sense of unified brotherhood in the prophetic 'City of Brotherly Love.' We therefore welcome all kinds of joint Patriots-Eagles parties and BBQs on city apartment rooftops on relatively warm days (unaffected by the odiousness of global warming!) when fans of both the Patriots and Eagles can embrace the power the media/TV has in promoting all-around citizenry-revelry! This is indeed our 'Mission Statement.'
We also know that if the Philadelphia Eagles lose in the NFC Championship game this year (to the very mighty Minnesota Vikings) and the Patriots go on to win their record 6th Super Bowl title (since 2000!), we will be remembered as cheerful pro-Philly 'crusaders' and friends of democracy. That is why the United Philadelphia Front (UPF), led by our 'Lord Protector' Damien Patel (Indian-American U.S. citizen from an Ivy League school), is committed to pure debate.
GOD: I like this 'Lord Protector' Damien Patel.
SATAN: I don't trust anyone with the surname 'Patel.'
GOD: I think you worry too much about immigration.
SATAN: Is Philadelphia truly a pluralistic place?
GOD: I think the Eagles fanfare exemplifies multiculturalism!
SATAN: Really? Maybe Philadelphia will succumb to a race-riot.
GOD: No, Philly is nothing like Los Angeles...
SATAN: Perhaps Damien Patel is the 'right stuff.'
GOD: I hope he can safeguard Americans from fanaticism.
SATAN: Rebelliousness is a part of the American nature.
GOD: America is a land of 'negotiation,' and I like Hollywood.
SATAN: Movie-stars (e.g., Tom Cruise) symbolize fanfare, not IQ.
GOD: I disagree. Sports-themed films (e.g., Jerry Maguire) represent democracy.
SATAN: Maybe Patel's Eagles-fanfare trumpeting will increase comic book sales!
GOD: I could see Green Lantern becoming very popular because of Eagles spirit.
SATAN: I wager 1-million Yen that the Eagles win Super Bowl 52.
====
