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It been a long time since I was single but it was tough finding a near perfect fit. Oddly enough perhaps, I'd pretty well given up, prayed and met my wife of almost 30yrs. 2 days later.Perhaps an arranged marriage would be an option........do you trust your parents......
This is a joke? I don't think an arranged marriage is a very good option for a 27-year-old man.
Basically, I desire a woman who is emotionally mature, and who literally wants to fall in love and get married, and be in love with her husband.
It's what every happily married couple on the planet has. What I want. A beautiful woman with an ugly soul makes for an unhappy relationship.
One of the problems was that this young woman [22] gave me her number unasked and would text me in the middle of the night [3am] to talk with me about her serious personal issues. She suffers from anxiety and depression and anorexia. She's been in abusive relationship after abusive relationship. I did start pursuing her knowing she had a boyfriend. It was common knowledge he was abusing her and making her feel horrible. Then they broke up for a bit. She and I had been texting and talking a bit, and I asked her out a few times. Nothing happened. The moment I told her I cared about her and developed feelings for her because it hurt seeing her beat herself up and abuse herself was when she turned ice-cold and started ignoring me. After her ex-boyfriend stalked her a few times, she went back to him.
She would give constant mixed signals. Saying yes she'd like to go out on a date, to maybe, to ignoring and going back to the guy who verbally abuses her constantly. I watched my dad abuse my mom a lot when I was a young kid. I still hate him, which is why I haven't spoken with him in six years. Told myself I'd be the good man my father never was. A man doesn't hit a woman, and he doesn't treat her like crap.
When she would post on FB horrible things about herself, or how sad she was, or other poetic things of that nature I'd get worried and call her to let her know that she was worth it and that no one deserves to be treated like garbage. During that month of interaction we'd chat on FB and talk. But when I let her know directly that I cared about her it all went south.
It sucks when you care about a woman, she is abused, she abuses herself, but she's not attracted to you [or she really is but is playing some maddening game], and is staying with the guy who keeps hurting her. She chose the man who screams and curses at her over a kind man who truly did care about her. That stung. Now I don't feel safe sharing any sort of simple, honest feeling or emotion for a woman I care about.
Basically, I desire a woman who is emotionally mature, and who literally wants to fall in love and get married, and be in love with her husband.
It's what every happily married couple on the planet has. What I want. A beautiful woman with an ugly soul makes for an unhappy relationship.
One of the problems was that this young woman [22] gave me her number unasked and would text me in the middle of the night [3am] to talk with me about her serious personal issues. She suffers from anxiety and depression and anorexia. She's been in abusive relationship after abusive relationship. I did start pursuing her knowing she had a boyfriend. It was common knowledge he was abusing her and making her feel horrible. Then they broke up for a bit. She and I had been texting and talking a bit, and I asked her out a few times. Nothing happened. The moment I told her I cared about her and developed feelings for her because it hurt seeing her beat herself up and abuse herself was when she turned ice-cold and started ignoring me. After her ex-boyfriend stalked her a few times, she went back to him.
She would give constant mixed signals. Saying yes she'd like to go out on a date, to maybe, to ignoring and going back to the guy who verbally abuses her constantly. I watched my dad abuse my mom a lot when I was a young kid. I still hate him, which is why I haven't spoken with him in six years. Told myself I'd be the good man my father never was. A man doesn't hit a woman, and he doesn't treat her like crap.
When she would post on FB horrible things about herself, or how sad she was, or other poetic things of that nature I'd get worried and call her to let her know that she was worth it and that no one deserves to be treated like garbage. During that month of interaction we'd chat on FB and talk. But when I let her know directly that I cared about her it all went south.
It sucks when you care about a woman, she is abused, she abuses herself, but she's not attracted to you [or she really is but is playing some maddening game], and is staying with the guy who keeps hurting her. She chose the man who screams and curses at her over a kind man who truly did care about her. That stung. Now I don't feel safe sharing any sort of simple, honest feeling or emotion for a woman I care about.
I can't help but concider I'm involved then...i was going to say something here...
but I will not
I can't help but concider I'm involved then...i was going to say something here...
but I will not
You have me a tad gun shy....
Basically, I desire a woman who is emotionally mature, and who literally wants to fall in love and get married, and be in love with her husband.
It's what every happily married couple on the planet has. What I want. A beautiful woman with an ugly soul makes for an unhappy relationship.
One of the problems was that this young woman [22] gave me her number unasked and would text me in the middle of the night [3am] to talk with me about her serious personal issues. She suffers from anxiety and depression and anorexia. She's been in abusive relationship after abusive relationship. I did start pursuing her knowing she had a boyfriend. It was common knowledge he was abusing her and making her feel horrible. Then they broke up for a bit. She and I had been texting and talking a bit, and I asked her out a few times. Nothing happened. The moment I told her I cared about her and developed feelings for her because it hurt seeing her beat herself up and abuse herself was when she turned ice-cold and started ignoring me. After her ex-boyfriend stalked her a few times, she went back to him.
She would give constant mixed signals. Saying yes she'd like to go out on a date, to maybe, to ignoring and going back to the guy who verbally abuses her constantly. I watched my dad abuse my mom a lot when I was a young kid. I still hate him, which is why I haven't spoken with him in six years. Told myself I'd be the good man my father never was. A man doesn't hit a woman, and he doesn't treat her like crap.
When she would post on FB horrible things about herself, or how sad she was, or other poetic things of that nature I'd get worried and call her to let her know that she was worth it and that no one deserves to be treated like garbage. During that month of interaction we'd chat on FB and talk. But when I let her know directly that I cared about her it all went south.
It sucks when you care about a woman, she is abused, she abuses herself, but she's not attracted to you [or she really is but is playing some maddening game], and is staying with the guy who keeps hurting her. She chose the man who screams and curses at her over a kind man who truly did care about her. That stung. Now I don't feel safe sharing any sort of simple, honest feeling or emotion for a woman I care about.
You've got it all wrong.Lightening your load by arresting the trying-too-hard effort is a definite plus. They have a sixth sense about that. It's a bit like trying to see that faint star in the night sky -- you can't quite get it until you look away from it, then it shows up peripherally.
Very Zen.
You want to know what really attracts women?
--- being in a relationship with one, who is not at that moment present. It's like a magnet.
This I am also learning. When you are trying to attract the woman you like, and you have secret feelings for her, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, LET HER KNOW. Sad but true. It's like you have to express your interest in her in small spoonfuls. And don't tell her so much about you, either. Give her something to think and wonder about. Play it real cool, because you know her first reaction if you tell her you honestly care about her is to get the fuck out of Dodge.
I experienced the 'friend zone' for the first time, and I aim to fight like hell to never, ever end up there again. It's insulting.
So I'm thinking of where to go from here.
Women want what they can't have.
When I stopped giving the single women at work attention, suddenly they changed, and started giving me attention, asking questions [some pretty personal], and flirting far more than before.
I just... it's fucking weird. Is it true that their brains are wired differently? And if so, how the hell do we guys navigate that?
It's like when I stopped searching, and started ignoring, those who were ignoring stopped ignoring, and most started paying attention. It's like they noticed they weren't getting attention any more.
God! Why does it have to be like a game? Now that I've been ignoring single women there, it's like some of them are now starting more conversations with me, or trying to get my attention. One of the 19-year-old CNAs now tries to get my attention, and though they say men don't have good peripheral vision I know that's a fucking lie, and I can feel her eyes boring into me when I'm doing my charting. But... I'm learning more about how the female brain works. I also know [at least at the hospital we work at] that when you tell one female coworker something, they all end up knowing it. Started slowly capitalizing on that. Let one of them know that I really am looking to start rock-climbing, and told another I'm learning how to slow dance [fact], and suddenly the flirting went up a bit the next day.
Speaking for myself, being ignored does nothing for me. Neither do men I can't have. Of course, I'm ten years older than you, so things are different for me.
Basically, I desire a woman who is emotionally mature, and who literally wants to fall in love and get married, and be in love with her husband.
It's what every happily married couple on the planet has. What I want. A beautiful woman with an ugly soul makes for an unhappy relationship.
One of the problems was that this young woman [22] gave me her number unasked and would text me in the middle of the night [3am] to talk with me about her serious personal issues. She suffers from anxiety and depression and anorexia. She's been in abusive relationship after abusive relationship. I did start pursuing her knowing she had a boyfriend. It was common knowledge he was abusing her and making her feel horrible. Then they broke up for a bit. She and I had been texting and talking a bit, and I asked her out a few times. Nothing happened. The moment I told her I cared about her and developed feelings for her because it hurt seeing her beat herself up and abuse herself was when she turned ice-cold and started ignoring me. After her ex-boyfriend stalked her a few times, she went back to him.
She would give constant mixed signals. Saying yes she'd like to go out on a date, to maybe, to ignoring and going back to the guy who verbally abuses her constantly. I watched my dad abuse my mom a lot when I was a young kid. I still hate him, which is why I haven't spoken with him in six years. Told myself I'd be the good man my father never was. A man doesn't hit a woman, and he doesn't treat her like crap.
When she would post on FB horrible things about herself, or how sad she was, or other poetic things of that nature I'd get worried and call her to let her know that she was worth it and that no one deserves to be treated like garbage. During that month of interaction we'd chat on FB and talk. But when I let her know directly that I cared about her it all went south.
It sucks when you care about a woman, she is abused, she abuses herself, but she's not attracted to you [or she really is but is playing some maddening game], and is staying with the guy who keeps hurting her. She chose the man who screams and curses at her over a kind man who truly did care about her. That stung. Now I don't feel safe sharing any sort of simple, honest feeling or emotion for a woman I care about.
No offense to this young lady but you deserve someone without all this baggage Wake.
So I'm thinking of where to go from here.
Women want what they can't have.
When I stopped giving the single women at work attention, suddenly they changed, and started giving me attention, asking questions [some pretty personal], and flirting far more than before.
I just... it's fucking weird. Is it true that their brains are wired differently? And if so, how the hell do we guys navigate that?
It's like when I stopped searching, and started ignoring, those who were ignoring stopped ignoring, and most started paying attention. It's like they noticed they weren't getting attention any more.
God! Why does it have to be like a game? Now that I've been ignoring single women there, it's like some of them are now starting more conversations with me, or trying to get my attention. One of the 19-year-old CNAs now tries to get my attention, and though they say men don't have good peripheral vision I know that's a fucking lie, and I can feel her eyes boring into me when I'm doing my charting. But... I'm learning more about how the female brain works. I also know [at least at the hospital we work at] that when you tell one female coworker something, they all end up knowing it. Started slowly capitalizing on that. Let one of them know that I really am looking to start rock-climbing, and told another I'm learning how to slow dance [fact], and suddenly the flirting went up a bit the next day.
nope OP
sadly
you are not getting the how it is...you mean well ..............but
hmmm no
more I can not say..............
So I'm thinking of where to go from here.
Women want what they can't have.
When I stopped giving the single women at work attention, suddenly they changed, and started giving me attention, asking questions [some pretty personal], and flirting far more than before.
I just... it's fucking weird. Is it true that their brains are wired differently? And if so, how the hell do we guys navigate that?
It's like when I stopped searching, and started ignoring, those who were ignoring stopped ignoring, and most started paying attention. It's like they noticed they weren't getting attention any more.
God! Why does it have to be like a game? Now that I've been ignoring single women there, it's like some of them are now starting more conversations with me, or trying to get my attention. One of the 19-year-old CNAs now tries to get my attention, and though they say men don't have good peripheral vision I know that's a fucking lie, and I can feel her eyes boring into me when I'm doing my charting. But... I'm learning more about how the female brain works. I also know [at least at the hospital we work at] that when you tell one female coworker something, they all end up knowing it. Started slowly capitalizing on that. Let one of them know that I really am looking to start rock-climbing, and told another I'm learning how to slow dance [fact], and suddenly the flirting went up a bit the next day.
nope OP
sadly
you are not getting the how it is...you mean well ..............but
hmmm no
more I can not say..............
You would help me by telling me where you think I am wrong.
I do have ears, and I will hear you, and consider your input.
Basically, I desire a woman who is emotionally mature, and who literally wants to fall in love and get married, and be in love with her husband.
It's what every happily married couple on the planet has. What I want. A beautiful woman with an ugly soul makes for an unhappy relationship.
One of the problems was that this young woman [22] gave me her number unasked and would text me in the middle of the night [3am] to talk with me about her serious personal issues. She suffers from anxiety and depression and anorexia. She's been in abusive relationship after abusive relationship. I did start pursuing her knowing she had a boyfriend. It was common knowledge he was abusing her and making her feel horrible. Then they broke up for a bit. She and I had been texting and talking a bit, and I asked her out a few times. Nothing happened. The moment I told her I cared about her and developed feelings for her because it hurt seeing her beat herself up and abuse herself was when she turned ice-cold and started ignoring me. After her ex-boyfriend stalked her a few times, she went back to him.
She would give constant mixed signals. Saying yes she'd like to go out on a date, to maybe, to ignoring and going back to the guy who verbally abuses her constantly. I watched my dad abuse my mom a lot when I was a young kid. I still hate him, which is why I haven't spoken with him in six years. Told myself I'd be the good man my father never was. A man doesn't hit a woman, and he doesn't treat her like crap.
When she would post on FB horrible things about herself, or how sad she was, or other poetic things of that nature I'd get worried and call her to let her know that she was worth it and that no one deserves to be treated like garbage. During that month of interaction we'd chat on FB and talk. But when I let her know directly that I cared about her it all went south.
It sucks when you care about a woman, she is abused, she abuses herself, but she's not attracted to you [or she really is but is playing some maddening game], and is staying with the guy who keeps hurting her. She chose the man who screams and curses at her over a kind man who truly did care about her. That stung. Now I don't feel safe sharing any sort of simple, honest feeling or emotion for a woman I care about.
No offense to this young lady but you deserve someone without all this baggage Wake.
See... shit.... no we're getting somewhere... and this is helping me get the point.
There's a woman I know there, Jen, who tells me I don't need any more crazy in my life. She refers to that woman.
Spoke with another woman. Katee. An engaged young woman around my age who I regard as a friend. She tells me none of the women here are really worth it besides one or two. I was advised to not pursue that one, because she's a hot mess.
...
I felt I could save her and drag her out of that dark pit, as I drug myself out. That is why I loved her spirit, and cared about her, wanting to build her up and comfort her soul.
I have learned in these past few months that many women say they want a nice man with [insert list of qualities], but they aren't really attracted to what they want, and are sadly oblivious to the man with all of that right in front of them.
Tell me I'm wrong that in general this isn't true. I've experienced it first-hand. This one young woman I work with continuously posts about how she wanted a nice, good man, and that she was tired of dating men who mistreated her. I struck up a few conversations with her [we've been coworkers for a year], and did ask her out a few times. Paradoxically she completely turned off. She stopped talking with me on FB, and simply ignored me. Why do some women despise men who would show them kindness, and dare say that they care about her?
Learning it's better to just focus on improving myself. Getting my body more and more muscular, working out my brain getting through my studies, and going out and working my ass off and enjoying life.
I've started ignoring women, and not being that 'nice guy' who never gets women. Women associate niceness with femininity. They're not attracted to niceness, no matter WHAT anonymous voices come on here, lying, about how it isn't so. Prove it. It's just not true in real life. Learned that real fucking quickly. You gotta respect your heart and your dignity. Do not ever invest your emotions in someone before a relationship ever happens. There are a LOT of emotionally immature women out there that don't know what the hell they want.
And since I started ignoring women, two things happened.
A, women started trying to get my attention.
B, I started getting an idea of which women actually had interest.
I started testing this out.
Monday I was the old, normal me. Some flirting towards me, some attention. Wednesday I ignored available women [without being a jerk], was confident and funny as hell, and reached down deep and showed off my awesome personality to everyone else. Major difference. Like, BAM. You tell me how that makes sense. I had to learn these things, because apparently walking up to a woman you know and simply letting her know you care about her and would like to take her out for dinner isn't right. It's like they want a challenge. If they know you're just another guy who's nice to them then suddenly they don't want you. But, if you ignore her she's like 'what the hell, why aren't you giving me attention?', and it's on now.
You tell me why it's like this.
I will repeat what I said before. Not all women are the same. Not all women play games. Young women, and men, will to a certain degree. In college, I dated a lot. I like someone who was confident in themselves but not arrogant or a great big jerk about it or whatever. I like smart people because I actually wanted to be able to have a conversation about more than just lighthearted subject matter. I absolutely had to have someone with a good sense of humor and who liked to have fun. Playing hard to get is something I did a little bit of but it was all for fun and it worked like a charm. As I matured, I played less games. I was more interested in someone who I could see spending a future with. Games were a lot less important then. Meeting the right person was more important. And really, it happened when I wasn't looking or trying hard. That's when it always seems to happen for people. When they aren't even looking for it.
