Experiences with Women

[Michelle420]

Basically, I desire a woman who is emotionally mature, and who literally wants to fall in love and get married, and be in love with her husband.

It's what every happily married couple on the planet has. What I want. A beautiful woman with an ugly soul makes for an unhappy relationship.

One of the problems was that this young woman [22] gave me her number unasked and would text me in the middle of the night [3am] to talk with me about her serious personal issues. She suffers from anxiety and depression and anorexia. She's been in abusive relationship after abusive relationship. I did start pursuing her knowing she had a boyfriend. It was common knowledge he was abusing her and making her feel horrible. Then they broke up for a bit. She and I had been texting and talking a bit, and I asked her out a few times. Nothing happened. The moment I told her I cared about her and developed feelings for her because it hurt seeing her beat herself up and abuse herself was when she turned ice-cold and started ignoring me. After her ex-boyfriend stalked her a few times, she went back to him.

She would give constant mixed signals. Saying yes she'd like to go out on a date, to maybe, to ignoring and going back to the guy who verbally abuses her constantly. I watched my dad abuse my mom a lot when I was a young kid. I still hate him, which is why I haven't spoken with him in six years. Told myself I'd be the good man my father never was. A man doesn't hit a woman, and he doesn't treat her like crap.

When she would post on FB horrible things about herself, or how sad she was, or other poetic things of that nature I'd get worried and call her to let her know that she was worth it and that no one deserves to be treated like garbage. During that month of interaction we'd chat on FB and talk. But when I let her know directly that I cared about her it all went south.

It sucks when you care about a woman, she is abused, she abuses herself, but she's not attracted to you [or she really is but is playing some maddening game], and is staying with the guy who keeps hurting her. She chose the man who screams and curses at her over a kind man who truly did care about her. That stung. Now I don't feel safe sharing any sort of simple, honest feeling or emotion for a woman I care about.

No offense to this young lady but you deserve someone without all this baggage Wake.

See... shit.... no we're getting somewhere... and this is helping me get the point.

There's a woman I know there, Jen, who tells me I don't need any more crazy in my life. She refers to that woman.

Spoke with another woman. Katee. An engaged young woman around my age who I regard as a friend. She tells me none of the women here are really worth it besides one or two. I was advised to not pursue that one, because she's a hot mess.


...

I felt I could save her and drag her out of that dark pit, as I drug myself out. That is why I loved her spirit, and cared about her, wanting to build her up and comfort her soul.

You should have just been her friend, helped her get therapy and reconnect with a strong support system of friends or family.

As far as advice from others at work, they won't be in that relationship so you have to be the one to pick who you like and want to be with but you should also make a point to understand what that woman wants in her life and where she's at. This way you can know if you two are on the same path or not.

 

[skye]

but OP

if you can not take care of her

forget it

and find somebody who is not so valuable

any shit out there

 

[Wake]

OP?

it's all chemical....and its.....like


IDK


can not explain .....how does it work....so sorry

Well, shit.

 

[ChrisL]

I will repeat what I said before. Not all women are the same. Not all women play games. Young women, and men, will to a certain degree. In college, I dated a lot. I like someone who was confident in themselves but not arrogant or a great big jerk about it or whatever. I like smart people because I actually wanted to be able to have a conversation about more than just lighthearted subject matter. I absolutely had to have someone with a good sense of humor and who liked to have fun. Playing hard to get is something I did a little bit of but it was all for fun and it worked like a charm. As I matured, I played less games. I was more interested in someone who I could see spending a future with. Games were a lot less important then. Meeting the right person was more important. And really, it happened when I wasn't looking or trying hard. That's when it always seems to happen for people. When they aren't even looking for it.

I feel frustrated.

Katee tells me it took her 8 years to find the right man, and many broken hearts.

Where the hell do I find a good woman? A truly good woman who doesn't want to play games?

Maybe the hospital and many of the women here go against what you say, but are not how it is in general. Maybe I am just in a particularly bad situation and should search out a woman's heart elsewhere. I have only asked out two women in my life, and both have been at the hospital. One was 21, and the other was 22. I'm learning to avoid emotionally immature women who behave like girls. I don't want a girl. I want a woman.

I am making myself more into a man, and loving it.

Spoke with four female nurses much older than me.

All of them told me not to date coworkers, and to strictly avoid the young women here in general, unless there really is a good one somewhere here. More than some of the CNAs, nurses, and EMTs/security just hook up for fun during the night, and none of them are looking for anything serious.

Jen keeps telling me she wants to drag me down to their level.

You should relax, go out with your friends and have fun. Stop worrying so much! Once you relax and have fun and you aren't thinking about it all the time, maybe the women will come to you.

 

[Wake]

nope OP

sadly

you are not getting the how it is...you mean well ..............but

hmmm no

more I can not say..............

You would help me by telling me where you think I am wrong.

I do have ears, and I will hear you, and consider your input.

it's chemical Wake....

and there is the will...

because if the man wants it bad enough.....he will use all avenues.....

the man always has to be stronger than her.....he has to suggest security and protection....

know what I say?

that is very very attractive for a nice woman.....security


I am all helping you here OP

When one of the PT students walked up behind me, rubbed my back, and ran her fingers between my shoulderblades, well.

Being 6'4", muscular, and someone who protects and cares for others, I do suggest security and protection.

I just don't want to be objectified, like a piece of meat.

 

[Wolfsister77]

I will repeat what I said before. Not all women are the same. Not all women play games. Young women, and men, will to a certain degree. In college, I dated a lot. I like someone who was confident in themselves but not arrogant or a great big jerk about it or whatever. I like smart people because I actually wanted to be able to have a conversation about more than just lighthearted subject matter. I absolutely had to have someone with a good sense of humor and who liked to have fun. Playing hard to get is something I did a little bit of but it was all for fun and it worked like a charm. As I matured, I played less games. I was more interested in someone who I could see spending a future with. Games were a lot less important then. Meeting the right person was more important. And really, it happened when I wasn't looking or trying hard. That's when it always seems to happen for people. When they aren't even looking for it.

I feel frustrated.

Katee tells me it took her 8 years to find the right man, and many broken hearts.

Where the hell do I find a good woman? A truly good woman who doesn't want to play games?

Maybe the hospital and many of the women here go against what you say, but are not how it is in general. Maybe I am just in a particularly bad situation and should search out a woman's heart elsewhere. I have only asked out two women in my life, and both have been at the hospital. One was 21, and the other was 22. I'm learning to avoid emotionally immature women who behave like girls. I don't want a girl. I want a woman.

I am making myself more into a man, and loving it.

Spoke with four female nurses much older than me.

All of them told me not to date coworkers, and to strictly avoid the young women here in general, unless there really is a good one somewhere here. More than some of the CNAs, nurses, and EMTs/security just hook up for fun during the night, and none of them are looking for anything serious.

Jen keeps telling me she wants to drag me down to their level.

Well, that's the tough part. I met my husband when my sister dragged me to a party at her boyfriend's a long time ago. My husband was his roomate at the time. We just kind of connected. A lot of times it happens that way, through friends or family. Perhaps there's a hobby or something you are interested in that has activities you could go to. I know that sounds vague but I'm not sure where your interests lie. In this day and age where so many people talk through social media, it's tougher to meet people but certainly very possible.

 

[Wolfsister77]

nope OP

sadly

you are not getting the how it is...you mean well ..............but

hmmm no

more I can not say..............

You would help me by telling me where you think I am wrong.

I do have ears, and I will hear you, and consider your input.

it's chemical Wake....

and there is the will...

because if the man wants it bad enough.....he will use all avenues.....

the man always has to be stronger than her.....he has to suggest security and protection....

know what I say?

that is very very attractive for a nice woman.....security


I am all helping you here OP

When one of the PT students walked up behind me, rubbed my back, and ran her fingers between my shoulderblades, well.

Being 6'4", muscular, and someone who protects and cares for others, I do suggest security and protection.

I just don't want to be objectified, like a piece of meat.

That should not be allowed in any workplace. It's called sexual harassment for a reason. You should always report that kind of thing.

 

[Michelle420]

nope OP

sadly

you are not getting the how it is...you mean well ..............but

hmmm no

more I can not say..............

You would help me by telling me where you think I am wrong.

I do have ears, and I will hear you, and consider your input.

it's chemical Wake....

and there is the will...

because if the man wants it bad enough.....he will use all avenues.....

the man always has to be stronger than her.....he has to suggest security and protection....

know what I say?

that is very very attractive for a nice woman.....security


I am all helping you here OP

When one of the PT students walked up behind me, rubbed my back, and ran her fingers between my shoulderblades, well.

Being 6'4", muscular, and someone who protects and cares for others, I do suggest security and protection.

I just don't want to be objectified, like a piece of meat.

I miss the Gary Cooper types

 

[skye]

nope OP

sadly

you are not getting the how it is...you mean well ..............but

hmmm no

more I can not say..............

You would help me by telling me where you think I am wrong.

I do have ears, and I will hear you, and consider your input.

it's chemical Wake....

and there is the will.

because if the man wants it bad enough.....he will use all avenues.....

the man always has to be stronger than her.....he has to suggest security and protection....

know what I say?

that is very very attractive for a nice woman.....security


I am all helping you here OP

When one of the PT students walked up behind me, rubbed my back, and ran her fingers between my shoulderblades, well.

Being 6'4", muscular, and someone who protects and cares for others, I do suggest security and protection.

I just don't want to be objectified, like a piece of meat.

cool

so

does that student owns a house and can take care of you??

is she prepared to feed you forever? and all thoset money things?


I live in another platform of life..............where men are the ones who are the strong ones ....you know.....

but for you

IDK what to say.....

get the Lotto darling....

don't know what else to advise

 

[Wake]

So I'm thinking of where to go from here.

Women want what they can't have.

When I stopped giving the single women at work attention, suddenly they changed, and started giving me attention, asking questions [some pretty personal], and flirting far more than before.

I just... it's fucking weird. Is it true that their brains are wired differently? And if so, how the hell do we guys navigate that?

It's like when I stopped searching, and started ignoring, those who were ignoring stopped ignoring, and most started paying attention. It's like they noticed they weren't getting attention any more.

God! Why does it have to be like a game? Now that I've been ignoring single women there, it's like some of them are now starting more conversations with me, or trying to get my attention. One of the 19-year-old CNAs now tries to get my attention, and though they say men don't have good peripheral vision I know that's a fucking lie, and I can feel her eyes boring into me when I'm doing my charting. But... I'm learning more about how the female brain works. I also know [at least at the hospital we work at] that when you tell one female coworker something, they all end up knowing it. Started slowly capitalizing on that. Let one of them know that I really am looking to start rock-climbing, and told another I'm learning how to slow dance [fact], and suddenly the flirting went up a bit the next day.

Was is it a secret you were learning dancing and rock climbing? I thought you were looking for a woman aren't you putting that out there to see who is interested?.

I asked you what do you think women want and you answered you don't know. Could you invest time into finding out what women want?

What do you think a woman being beaten who is anorexic and writing emo poetry wants??? It's not a new boyfriend.

I realized about six days ago that she wasn't interested,, and had too much baggage. I still post words of encouragement when she posts self-destroying things... but she ignores them, too, which hurts and serves as a reminder, and then I see that she responds to other people very quickly, which tells me she doesn't value me as a person and that she is clearly not worth my time.

See, you're helping me work this out. I just need to process this aloud.

It was a secret I was learning those things. I haven't directly posted on FB that I am looking. Spoken indirectly about how a man behaves regarding women, and much of those coworkers [all friended] react to it positively and then get more responses from them when at work.

I don't know what exactly women want. This man is kind, but you'd have to really get a deep, deep understanding of his background to know it.

If a woman just wants a sexy body on her I'm gone. There is so much more to men and women than just their bodies.

 

[ChrisL]

nope OP

sadly

you are not getting the how it is...you mean well ..............but

hmmm no

more I can not say..............

You would help me by telling me where you think I am wrong.

I do have ears, and I will hear you, and consider your input.

it's chemical Wake....

and there is the will...

because if the man wants it bad enough.....he will use all avenues.....

the man always has to be stronger than her.....he has to suggest security and protection....

know what I say?

that is very very attractive for a nice woman.....security


I am all helping you here OP

When one of the PT students walked up behind me, rubbed my back, and ran her fingers between my shoulderblades, well.

Being 6'4", muscular, and someone who protects and cares for others, I do suggest security and protection.

I just don't want to be objectified, like a piece of meat.

That last sentence just sounds funny coming from a guy. Most of them like that, I think.

 

[Wake]

nope OP

sadly

you are not getting the how it is...you mean well ..............but

hmmm no

more I can not say..............

You would help me by telling me where you think I am wrong.

I do have ears, and I will hear you, and consider your input.

it's chemical Wake....

and there is the will.

because if the man wants it bad enough.....he will use all avenues.....

the man always has to be stronger than her.....he has to suggest security and protection....

know what I say?

that is very very attractive for a nice woman.....security


I am all helping you here OP

When one of the PT students walked up behind me, rubbed my back, and ran her fingers between my shoulderblades, well.

Being 6'4", muscular, and someone who protects and cares for others, I do suggest security and protection.

I just don't want to be objectified, like a piece of meat.

cool

so

does that student owns a house and can take care of you??

is she prepared to feed you forever? and all thoset money things?


I live in another platform of life..............where men are the ones who are the strong ones ....you know.....

but for you

IDK what to say.....

get the Lotto darling....

don't know what else to advise

I don't understand.

I'm financially stable, in spite of putting myself through nursing school on my own dime.

 

[Wake]

That last sentence just sounds funny coming from a guy. Most of them like that, I think.

Should I like it when female coworkers put their hands on me?

 

[ChrisL]

That last sentence just sounds funny coming from a guy. Most of them like that, I think.

Should I like it when female coworkers put their hands on me?

I have no idea. I'm willing to bet there are more than a few guys who would like it though. Lol. Probably more than a few wish their female coworkers WOULD put hands on them.

 

[skye]

look OP

words are not enough ok?

you want to impress somebody?


lol you need more than words

bloody hell what a....................with respect

 

[skye]

you will have a sad ending ...OP

Cheers baby

 

[Wake]

look OP

words are not enough ok?

you want to impress somebody?


lol you need more than words

bloody hell what a....................with respect

What, be a rugged, sexy man?

Getting there. Maybe I'm just thinking too much.

If that's not what you mean then you're being vague.

 

[Wake]

you will have a sad ending ...OP

Cheers baby

Why?

 

[ChrisL]

you will have a sad ending ...OP

Cheers baby

Why?

She is crazy! Don't you know that by now? Maybe part of your problem is reading people and what they are really all about?

 

[Alex.]

The moment I told her I cared about her and developed feelings for her because it hurt seeing her beat herself up and abuse herself was when she turned ice-cold and started ignoring me. After her ex-boyfriend stalked her a few times, she went back to him.

She would give constant mixed signals.

There are no mixed signals. She is with this guy for whatever her reasons are and she is not available for what you want. You are available to her for what she wants.

It sucks I know, but that is the reality.