emilynghiem
Constitutionalist / Universalist
This is a very old attitude, Emily. I have recently been watching the Drama "Downton Abbey". The series takes place at the turn of the 20th century, and there have been several episodes that dealt with sexual relations. Invariably, even when the man initiated, the woman, and the woman alone suffered the consequences. In one case, the lord of the manor took a maid, and began to make out with her, entirely consensual. However, it was the maid who was forced to leave, and lose her job, because, even then, "boys will be boys", but, apparently, it is entirely the woman's responsibility to refuse. The thinking is that, apparently, women do not feel sexual attraction, and are always in complete control of their emotions; or if they are not, they are wanton hussies. So, sexual intercourse is never the man's responsibility; only the woman's. Sadly, it seems that a hundred years later, we still haven't learned any better.You mean refusing to ignore the truth and running like a little bitch.
My statement was fact unless you're going to claim that a woman willingly spreading her legs knowing what the result could be isn't considered a choice.
Dear Conservative65 Did any of these women get pregnant without a man?
What about him knowing that pregnancy is a potential outcome of sex, and what about him running from his responsibility?
What about cases of coercion, or fraud, where the men misrepresent their intentions and pressure women to go along.
In cases of sex, what are the chances of women pressuring men to have sex against their will
vs men pressuring women. What do you think half the problem is here?
I wish that the men involved in the process would take responsibility so the rest of us that didn't create it were held on a higher level of responsibility than those who did. However, unless it's rape, the only way the man can do what he does if if the woman allows it.
Thanks Conservative65
but even with consensual sex, it can't happen if the man says no either!
So if the man and woman aren't both ready and in agreement to have children together if pregnancy occurs,
shouldn't the man also say NO. to avoid any risk of pregnancy or abortion if they aren't in agreement.
isn't it equally on the man to think ahead and say no thanks we can't afford the risk.
It's the responsibility of both involved. It's ultimately the woman's choice whether or not the man can take part except in cases of rape.
I wish the man taking part would be responsible so those of you thinking those of us that didn't get a piece are more financially responsible for what he did that he is.
I agree with most of what you said Conservative65
the only shaky area is on rape vs. coercion or relationship abuse
too many men (and women) will swear up and down the person consented,
but when I hear them complain of each other, clearly they should not have been intimately involved.
They didn't even get their terms of relationship straight, what the expectations were,
so certainly the sex was an added complication that neither of them was prepared for.
they may consider that consent, but from them both complaining of abuse, I would argue it isn't consensual.
had the two partners known in advance they didn't agree on terms, they shouldn't have sex in the first place
ie not consensual.
So i have a higher standard on what is consent and what is abuse.
And if people addressed that in advance, fewer people would agree to have sex.
most would realize that isn't right for their relationship and isn't worth the problems, thus not consensual.