Is It OK to Deny Sex to your Spouse?

[Pogo]

Other: The role of a woman in marriage is to please her Husband, so it is not appropriate for her to deny him. However, since the act is about His pleasure not hers, He is free to choose when He is and is not interested.

^^ Bizarre post of the day. Probably the week/month/year as well.

Love the way he capitalizes "husband" and "he" as if he thinks he's some kind of god.

 

[Buzz Jenkins]

Let's face it: poking the same pastrami over and over gets old after awhile. It takes an exceptionally horny dude to still hit it aggressively after a few years.

But for clarification, just how much tapping are you people talking about? 3-4 times a week? Once per week? Once bi-weekly? Once per month?

When I was married it was at least once each day the first year. Then it was 4-6 times per week for the next 5 years or so. Then a little less. I mean, we fucked right up until we permanently separated. But we were maybe a little more active than normal, I don't know.

My point is that expectations need to be gauged in order to determine if someone is being satisfied or not. As an extreme example of skewed expectations, if a chick still wants it twice a day at 60, the poor dude probably doesn't have a chance in hell of satisfying her.

There is also the common problem of not communicating your needs effectively with your partner. Some people, men and women, build up a ton of resentment because they never communicate. If you do not think your husband is interested in banging you in the same old position he has been bumping it in for the past 20 years, then it is just as incumbent on you as it is him to look into the problem.

Take him to Arby's and tell him that you want him to take you into the rest room to fuck you.
Or blow him under the dinner table. Whatever. Men are not hard to figure out.

Obviously if there is a medical issue then you got to get that seen about and follow the doctor's orders.

Now, if it is your bitch that has gone frigid, then fuck her (not literally). Get rid of her if you can. Of course, if you are worth a shit you have accumulated assets. Here you may not want to divorce. You may want to arrange for some sort of open marriage situation. That way you both can be happy and YOU remain title holder to your assets, at least until you and your lawyer can take some remedial action to hide as much as possible.

The most common sense thing to do if your wife goes cold is to get into marriage counseling. You are going to have to listen to a LOT of bullshit here about HER life long wants and needs, her trials and tribulations in discovering who she really is, and daddy issues. I have been through marriage counseling. I know what I am talking about. If is excruciatingly stupid.

So, while you are throwing literally THOUSANDS of dollars at marriage therapy, listening to her asinine, mind numbing bullshit, what are YOU going to do? Answer: take on a mistress!

Mistresses can be a tricky thing. You need someone who is not going to call up your wife at 3: am and blab. You need a mistress with something to lose. Get a woman who has a husband and kids. That way you can counter any hostility with threats to destroy her.

You could get a whore. But you have got to be careful with these professional bitches. Try to find a reputable and corporate-like pimp who you can trust. Ask around for some referrals. You have got to know that the whore is discreet and will not extort you, that she is clean, and that she can be trusted not to murder you and steal your money. There are reliable services out there if you are willing to drop some cash.

Fact is, things change over time. The best thing to try to do is to be open and communicate with your spouse. If you can make it work, that is great. If not, then fuck it.

 

[Unkotare]

Let's face it: poking the same pastrami over and over gets old after awhile. ......

Maybe you should throw out the rancid lunch meat and try to find an actual woman.

 

[Bonzi]

I went for "other" because of the verb "deny". That implies it's a commodity to be traded for a price. Sex is supposed to be a consensual gig. If it's done as a favor, such as "I'll mow your lawn while you're on vacation", then it has no meaning.

what if you grow "disinterested" in sex, and no amount of counseling has helped?

Ever see the end of 'Old Yeller'?

aww... that's not nice

 

[Bonzi]

Let's face it: poking the same pastrami over and over gets old after awhile. It takes an exceptionally horny dude to still hit it aggressively after a few years.

But for clarification, just how much tapping are you people talking about? 3-4 times a week? Once per week? Once bi-weekly? Once per month?

When I was married it was at least once each day the first year. Then it was 4-6 times per week for the next 5 years or so. Then a little less. I mean, we fucked right up until we permanently separated. But we were maybe a little more active than normal, I don't know.

My point is that expectations need to be gauged in order to determine if someone is being satisfied or not. As an extreme example of skewed expectations, if a chick still wants it twice a day at 60, the poor dude probably doesn't have a chance in hell of satisfying her.

There is also the common problem of not communicating your needs effectively with your partner. Some people, men and women, build up a ton of resentment because they never communicate. If you do not think your husband is interested in banging you in the same old position he has been bumping it in for the past 20 years, then it is just as incumbent on you as it is him to look into the problem.

Take him to Arby's and tell him that you want him to take you into the rest room to fuck you.
Or blow him under the dinner table. Whatever. Men are not hard to figure out.

Obviously if there is a medical issue then you got to get that seen about and follow the doctor's orders.

Now, if it is your bitch that has gone frigid, then fuck her (not literally). Get rid of her if you can. Of course, if you are worth a shit you have accumulated assets. Here you may not want to divorce. You may want to arrange for some sort of open marriage situation. That way you both can be happy and YOU remain title holder to your assets, at least until you and your lawyer can take some remedial action to hide as much as possible.

The most common sense thing to do if your wife goes cold is to get into marriage counseling. You are going to have to listen to a LOT of bullshit here about HER life long wants and needs, her trials and tribulations in discovering who she really is, and daddy issues. I have been through marriage counseling. I know what I am talking about. If is excruciatingly stupid.

So, while you are throwing literally THOUSANDS of dollars at marriage therapy, listening to her asinine, mind numbing bullshit, what are YOU going to do? Answer: take on a mistress!

Mistresses can be a tricky thing. You need someone who is not going to call up your wife at 3: am and blab. You need a mistress with something to lose. Get a woman who has a husband and kids. That way you can counter any hostility with threats to destroy her.

You could get a whore. But you have got to be careful with these professional bitches. Try to find a reputable and corporate-like pimp who you can trust. Ask around for some referrals. You have got to know that the whore is discreet and will not extort you, that she is clean, and that she can be trusted not to murder you and steal your money. There are reliable services out there if you are willing to drop some cash.

Fact is, things change over time. The best thing to try to do is to be open and communicate with your spouse. If you can make it work, that is great. If not, then fuck it.

some people just get bored easily

 

[Bonzi]

... is it ever OK to totally cut your spouse off from sex?
........

Depends. With whom?

I guess I should have been more specific.....

 

[Bonzi]

I went for "other" because of the verb "deny". That implies it's a commodity to be traded for a price. Sex is supposed to be a consensual gig. If it's done as a favor, such as "I'll mow your lawn while you're on vacation", then it has no meaning.

what if you grow "disinterested" in sex, and no amount of counseling has helped?

Then it is time to begin a self-improvement program of exercise, diet, and counseling.

That makes no sense at all. If someone is disinterested in sex and happy in their disinterest, why would they want to change it?

I go through this all the time and it is certainly bewildering to say the least.

It's a problem if one person is happy with no sex, but the other partner isn't.
It's a partnership - compromises and sacrifices SHOULD be made (have to be made) for it to be mutually satisfying and beneficial....

What happens is, the disinterested partner is put in the position of always acting, always faking, bears the entire burden of sacrifice. No one can do this for any length of time. It will only end up in a resentment that will make them both crazy.

The only reason you should put up with that is if your life is in danger.
No other reason.

 

[Sallow]

... is it ever OK to totally cut your spouse off from sex?
Is it even OK to say "no" more often than yes?
What if your spouse has a high sex drive and you don't.....

Actually, no sex is grounds for divorce.

It's called "abandonment".

 

[Bonzi]

... is it ever OK to totally cut your spouse off from sex?
Is it even OK to say "no" more often than yes?
What if your spouse has a high sex drive and you don't.....

Actually, no sex is grounds for divorce.

It's called "abandonment".

what if it's bad quality sex?

 

[Buzz Jenkins]

... is it ever OK to totally cut your spouse off from sex?
Is it even OK to say "no" more often than yes?
What if your spouse has a high sex drive and you don't.....

Actually, no sex is grounds for divorce.

It's called "abandonment".

I already made that point.

 

[Buzz Jenkins]

... is it ever OK to totally cut your spouse off from sex?
Is it even OK to say "no" more often than yes?
What if your spouse has a high sex drive and you don't.....

Actually, no sex is grounds for divorce.

It's called "abandonment".

what if it's bad quality sex?

Did the quality diminish after marriage, thereby creating a substantive change in circumstances? Well, if making fuck is that important I guess it could be grounds for divorce, as most states have some version of "irreconcilable differences" as legal grounds to dissolve a marriage. However, I would not want to be the one testifying that I wanted a divorce so that I could go get my "freak on". I suspect that a jury would punish you for that as frivolity if the divorce is contested.

 

[Bonzi]

It's why I never understood cheating.
Just leave.

 

[Bonzi]

... is it ever OK to totally cut your spouse off from sex?
Is it even OK to say "no" more often than yes?
What if your spouse has a high sex drive and you don't.....

Actually, no sex is grounds for divorce.

It's called "abandonment".

what if it's bad quality sex?

Did the quality diminish after marriage, thereby creating a substantive change in circumstances? Well, if making fuck is that important I guess it could be grounds for divorce, as most states have some version of "irreconcilable differences" as legal grounds to dissolve a marriage. However, I would not want to be the one testifying that I wanted a divorce so that I could go get my "freak on". I suspect that a jury would punish you for that as frivolity if the divorce is contested.

I just don't see the purpose of complaining - leave the marriage or go elsewhere... complaining to your spouse won't change things......

 

[Sallow]

... is it ever OK to totally cut your spouse off from sex?
Is it even OK to say "no" more often than yes?
What if your spouse has a high sex drive and you don't.....

Actually, no sex is grounds for divorce.

It's called "abandonment".

what if it's bad quality sex?

Um..just telling you the law, dude.

 

[Bonzi]

... is it ever OK to totally cut your spouse off from sex?
Is it even OK to say "no" more often than yes?
What if your spouse has a high sex drive and you don't.....

Actually, no sex is grounds for divorce.

It's called "abandonment".

what if it's bad quality sex?

Um..just telling you the law, dude.

dudette (why does everyone think I'm a guy!?)

 

[Moonglow]

... is it ever OK to totally cut your spouse off from sex?
Is it even OK to say "no" more often than yes?
What if your spouse has a high sex drive and you don't.....

Actually, no sex is grounds for divorce.

It's called "abandonment".

what if it's bad quality sex?

Um..just telling you the law, dude.

dudette (why does everyone think I'm a guy!?)

it's your lack of likability...

 

[Bonzi]

... is it ever OK to totally cut your spouse off from sex?
Is it even OK to say "no" more often than yes?
What if your spouse has a high sex drive and you don't.....

Actually, no sex is grounds for divorce.

It's called "abandonment".

what if it's bad quality sex?

Um..just telling you the law, dude.

dudette (why does everyone think I'm a guy!?)

it's your lack of likability...

so I've been told... opinions vary (but not that much...)

 

[Tresha91203]

I went for "other" because of the verb "deny". That implies it's a commodity to be traded for a price. Sex is supposed to be a consensual gig. If it's done as a favor, such as "I'll mow your lawn while you're on vacation", then it has no meaning.

what if you grow "disinterested" in sex, and no amount of counseling has helped?

Then it is time to begin a self-improvement program of exercise, diet, and counseling.

That makes no sense at all. If someone is disinterested in sex and happy in their disinterest, why would they want to change it?

I go through this all the time and it is certainly bewildering to say the least.

It's a problem if one person is happy with no sex, but the other partner isn't.
It's a partnership - compromises and sacrifices SHOULD be made (have to be made) for it to be mutually satisfying and beneficial....

What happens is, the disinterested partner is put in the position of always acting, always faking, bears the entire burden of sacrifice. No one can do this for any length of time. It will only end up in a resentment that will make them both crazy.

If someone is disinterested all the time, yes. That one should see a doctor or find an always disinterested partner. I was referring to occasional disinterest, which most people get.

 

[Buzz Jenkins]

... is it ever OK to totally cut your spouse off from sex?
Is it even OK to say "no" more often than yes?
What if your spouse has a high sex drive and you don't.....

Actually, no sex is grounds for divorce.

It's called "abandonment".

what if it's bad quality sex?

Um..just telling you the law, dude.

dudette (why does everyone think I'm a guy!?)

Latent homosexual ideation.

 

[Bonzi]

... is it ever OK to totally cut your spouse off from sex?
Is it even OK to say "no" more often than yes?
What if your spouse has a high sex drive and you don't.....

Actually, no sex is grounds for divorce.

It's called "abandonment".

what if it's bad quality sex?

Um..just telling you the law, dude.

dudette (why does everyone think I'm a guy!?)

Latent homosexual ideation.

Very Freudian. Isn't that mostly sexual? Not likely to come through in typed word... I don't think that's it....