Ladies.... It's not how you look it's how you feel about it.

[Sherry]

Blah, blah, blah, orange cream smoothie, blah, blah, blah......now I want one.

 

[Shadow]

LOL!!

Good post. Generally speaking, I would say that way too many women have lost their sense of who they are or they never knew who they were/are in the first place.

As an old lady, I'm lucky to be able to say I have very few wrinkles. I color my hair because I'm not ready to be "old" yet. Gray or white looks great on anyone else other than me. I eat right and exercise because it's just a good thing to do. I don't dress like an old lady because I don't feel like an old lady. And I don't want to be dressed like everybody else. I know who I am and feel good about it.

Young girls and/or their mothers start competing at a very early age. In a sense they are being "aged" very quickly. They're being sucked into the ideal of perfection. They are taught they have to be "perfect" little clones of each other rather than being taught to be themselves as individuals; wear makeup in grade school - (everybody's doing it); they HAVE to have what everybody else is wearing - (it's in style); they HAVE to have the same hairstyle as everybody else and on and on it goes. It's all about what's on the outside rather than the inside.

Hollywood celebrities set the standard. Some look absolutely anorexic and others have enough cellulite to choke an elephant. These celebrities have personal trainers and spend God knows how many hours "working out" (gotta stay buff); they also have make-up artists to keep them looking good - and air brushes to "remove" any imperfections that might be there; they set the clothing standard for teens. They always look "perfect."
Being thin has less to do with being healthy as advertized than it does with having that perfect body - and the food police are going to make us become thin or die trying.

Clothes become more and more skimpy and/or risque. It used to be that leaving something to the imagination was the way to go. Now it's let's let it all hang out. Fashion designers stay one step ahead of the game - this season's color and/or style is going to be passe in about 6 weeks - helps keep the money flowing.

The "reasons" could go on and on - but bottom line is that the perfection ideal is in full play. For lack of a better term we live in a "plastic" world these days - the "right" schools; the "right" neighborhood; the "right" car; the "right" clothes; the "right" employer; ...... It's all about what's on the outside.

I agree. Society sets women up at a very young age to feel their self worth is based on their beauty and "image". Flaws are seen as a negative(must have the right body,the right nose/perfect features,the right hair,clothes,make up,the right friends...etc)...they are led to believe they must be constantly "desired" sexally (or that is a sign that they are lacking somehow)...and then as they age they feel the need to spend thousands trying to maintain youth and beauty. It's sad because perfection can never be achieved....it's a losing battle.

 

[Grace]

I don't know if you drink or not but I met alot the older women I was with at bars, there are certain nights where the late 30s, early 40s crowd will go out, I found some good pickings there. An older woman might be what you are looking for.Don't blame you about the college girls, they are good for some fun but not much else, definently not a serious relationship.

I don't drink a whole lot. Most of the times I go out it's to Sports Bars more than your general saloon and tavern type place. That might be the sort of place I start frequenting more once I move. It's an interesting idea, and yes an "older" (30's to early 40's) woman might be much more what I'm looking for.

Have you tried PlentyOfFish dot com? Its a dating site. Say what you are looking for in your profile and see what happens. And yes, its free. HUGE site, too.

 

[Grace]

My "look" is what I was born with.

I am far more concerned with charactor.


take a gander at how pelosi and Mrs Clinton were treated surrounding their looks and you will see why most women feel insecure about their looks.

Found just now in my yahoo news:

Truth is, Moore is far too beautiful to portray the Secretary of State. That's not a knock against Clinton, who navigated the macho world of politics through brains rather than beauty; for Hollywood stars like Moore, the road to fame is often the other way around. It's not surprising that HBO would choose Moore over actresses who convincingly resemble Clinton -- the entertainment industry can be superficial like that

Looks like a knock to me.

Unearthed Photo: Julianne Moore as Hillary Clinton - The Famous - omg! on Yahoo

 

[High_Gravity]

I don't drink a whole lot. Most of the times I go out it's to Sports Bars more than your general saloon and tavern type place. That might be the sort of place I start frequenting more once I move. It's an interesting idea, and yes an "older" (30's to early 40's) woman might be much more what I'm looking for.

I did date a few women in their 40s but because of the age difference (I was 24) it never turned into anything serious, but I definently found those women more grounded mentally and more sophisticated than their 20 year old counter parts.

That's pretty much been my experience, HG; it's relatively rare to find a woman under thirty-five or so who is truly emotionally secure, sophisticated, and comfortable in her own skin. Part of this is societal; it simply takes both men and women longer to become mature now, than when I was young. The guys, on the one hand are told they should be responsible, caring and sensitive, while the Hollywood imagery they see in the movies suggests that the bad boys get the hot women; they then have trouble reconciling the messages. Its just as confusing for women, who are told, on the one hand, how independent they should be, and how far they've come, while Hollywood and the media promote an "ideal" body image that most women are physically incapable of achieving, let alone maintaining; small wonder so many are insecure, or have a negative body image of themselves.The resulting anxiety, and even serious eating disorders, speak volumes about this; and now, there's evidence these are spreading among younger men as well. There's nothing wrong with being fit, but the current thin-is-in fad is killing people.....literally. It's especially telling, I think, that the movie sex goddesses of my generation's youth, women like Marilyn Monroe, Gina Lollobriggida, Sophia Loren, and Jayne Mansfield, would be considered "fat" by today's standards. It takes a certain level of maturity to overcome this garbage(which is what most of it is).

This whole state of affairs would be somewhat amusing, just for its sheer silliness, were it not for the number of women (and men) who are being psychologically and physically damaged by it.

You nailed it.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Ok, I will not claim to be ANY form of expert on relationships, clothing, fashion, or women in general but this is something I need to get off my chest before I explode. Mostly because it's something I've run into three or four times in my personal life over the last couple of weeks and I can't believe that it isn't obvious to everyone....

Why is it that so many women cannot comprehend that their level of "attractiveness" is generally nowhere near as much about WHAT they are wearing as HOW you feel about what you are wearing?!?!?! I believe it was once said that a truly beautiful woman could make a burlap sack with arm and neck holes look GOOD. I know that a lot of women nowadays would probably disagree with that.

With the advent of clothing and undergarments designed to enhance this, reduce that, show off something else we seem to have reached a point where women feel that they have to look a very specific way in order to feel "attractive"; when in reality the truth is that it is the confidence that a woman has in her appearance that makes her truly beautiful regardless of what cup size her bra might be, or what size jeans she's wearing.

My frustration on this issue comes mostly from a pair of conversations I had at the gym I go to yesterday....

The first was with a lady who just turned 31. I've attended a couple of group classes with her, so we know each other a little bit. She got on the elyptical machine next to me and put a fashion magazine on the rack in front of her, without opening it. After a couple of minutes I asked her if she was going to read the magazine or if she was trying to absorb the articles through osmosis. She laughed and told me that she was trying to use the photo of the actress/model in a bikini on the cover as a means of motivation. "I'm hoping to look like that by the time my vacation comes around in August" Lynn informed me. When I looked over at the cover, I told Lynn that so far as I was concerned she already looked BETTER than the woman in the bikini. She laughed and told me I must be blind because the model was obviously much thinner than she is. I reminded her that while the model might be thinner she also had no hips or chest and looked almost boyish; which I at least personally don't find to be terribly good looking; while she has very nice curves, which I find to be much more feminine and attractive. She smiled that "You're a guy, you wouldn't understand what I'm talking about." smile and we both went back to our workouts.

The second happened while I was waiting for my post-workout Orange Creame smoothie with protein that is part of my end of workout routine. Sitting there at the smoothie bar was Alicia, another very attractive young woman who I know from several group classes. She was commenting to one of the female staff members that her twin sister Erica (who is engaged to one of the staff members) gets all the looks from the guys at the gym but nobody really seems to pay any attention to her. Even when they wear essentially identical outfits to workout. I quietly and politely mentioned that if she was really interested I could explain to her why that was. Of course they both wanted to know what I felt the reason was. "When Erica wears something she doesn't care who is looking at her butt, her hips, her chest, etc... She has the confidence that she looks good in it and goes with it. You on the other hand always seem to be trying to hide something. Almost like you're embarassed of what you're wearing or how your body looks. You're both incredibly attractive young women, but Erica's confidence just makes all the difference in how guys see the two of you." Of course I immediately got told that I had no idea what I was talking about.

This is something I've gone through with my roommate and several former girlfriends as well. Is it really that tough of a concept to get..... When you feel happy and confident about what you look like, you end up being a lot more attractive to other people as well. That's why a lot of makeup on a woman turns most guys off... we wonder what it is you're hiding underneath it. It's also why a pair of jeans and a nice blouse can be 100X sexier on a woman who OWNS that look than a miniskirt and corset-top is on a woman who is not confident about what she's wearing.

Ok. I feel better now. [/rant]

You're right.

I have to wonder who that chick Lynn is trying to look good for, if she's thinking, "Men just don't understand what I'm talking about." Apparently NOT for men. Someone's sure to say, "For herself", but whose standard is deciding what looks good to HER? Again, apparently not heterosexual men. In my experience, THEY definitely are more attracted to confidence and comfort with one's own body, and I can tell you why: because a woman, no matter how beautiful she is, who is clearly uncomfortable and lacking in confidence, is going to drive them NUTS complaining about her "flaws" and constantly looking for validation and reassurance. A woman who might sag a bit here and there but shrugs and says, "Gravity sucks", then moves on with her life, is going to be a lot more fun to be around in the long run.

 

[Cecilie1200]

I gave up fashion, makeup and the like in my teens for just this reason.

Its bullshit and full of self defeating crap designed to make women feel like there is always something wrong with them and that they NEED to buy something to be attractive.


This world makes HUGE bucks off the backs of women who are constantly given a newer and younger version of what pretty is so people can make money.


Now watch the idiots insult me for doing so because Im left leaning.

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. The laws of probability say even YOU are likely to stumble into a correct answer once in a while.

 

[Cecilie1200]

I gave up fashion, makeup and the like in my teens for just this reason.

Its bullshit and full of self defeating crap designed to make women feel like there is always something wrong with them and that they NEED to buy something to be attractive.


This world makes HUGE bucks off the backs of women who are constantly given a newer and younger version of what pretty is so people can make money.


Now watch the idiots insult me for doing so because Im left leaning.

Fashion is an industry just like any other. I don't blame it for any individuals woes.

I would by lying if I said it didn't matter to me how I looked. My look is low maintenance with a lot of effort

It matters to me how I look, but I'M the one who decides what that look should be, not some gay fashion designer or magazine editor, and my look is based on who nature made me, not who I've been told to WISH nature made me.

Scrawny beanpoles who look like twelve-year-old boys with fake boobs have been "in fashion" for most of my life. The only way I would ever achieve that look is in a hospital bed with tubes up my nose. God has a weird sense of humor, and blessed me with the ideal figure of fifty-sixty years ago. So I pick clothes that flatter THAT figure, and avoid the high-fashion ones that are intended for six-pound models.

I wear makeup, but my regimen is designed to allow me to blow my nose if it itches without immediately whipping out a mirror and "repairing". And once it's on, I don't check it again unless something catastrophic happens. All in all, if it's going to take me longer than an hour-and-a-half to get fully dressed up, including showering and drying my hair, I'm not doing it. Most of the time, I can be out the door in under twenty minutes.

 

[R.D.]

I gave up fashion, makeup and the like in my teens for just this reason.

Its bullshit and full of self defeating crap designed to make women feel like there is always something wrong with them and that they NEED to buy something to be attractive.


This world makes HUGE bucks off the backs of women who are constantly given a newer and younger version of what pretty is so people can make money.


Now watch the idiots insult me for doing so because Im left leaning.

Fashion is an industry just like any other. I don't blame it for any individuals woes.

I would by lying if I said it didn't matter to me how I looked. My look is low maintenance with a lot of effort

It matters to me how I look, but I'M the one who decides what that look should be, not some gay fashion designer or magazine editor, and my look is based on who nature made me, not who I've been told to WISH nature made me.

Scrawny beanpoles who look like twelve-year-old boys with fake boobs have been "in fashion" for most of my life. The only way I would ever achieve that look is in a hospital bed with tubes up my nose. God has a weird sense of humor, and blessed me with the ideal figure of fifty-sixty years ago. So I pick clothes that flatter THAT figure, and avoid the high-fashion ones that are intended for six-pound models.

I wear makeup, but my regimen is designed to allow me to blow my nose if it itches without immediately whipping out a mirror and "repairing". And once it's on, I don't check it again unless something catastrophic happens. All in all, if it's going to take me longer than an hour-and-a-half to get fully dressed up, including showering and drying my hair, I'm not doing it. Most of the time, I can be out the door in under twenty minutes.

What so many don't understand is the models are skinny to show of the clothes...who in reality wears the runway clothes anyhow??

It's true true as we age we feel more comfortable in our skin and with age knowing how to accentuate is learned. Those who choose not to care with their appearance have made a choice but to blame the industry is a common cop out. I use dollar store supplies, baking soda instead of costly skin cleansers, do my own hair shop only sales and feel and look my best. I pamper myself just fine without spending a fortune to the evil industry

 

[Truthmatters]

"Those who choose not to care with their appearance have made a choice but to blame the industry is a common cop"



You dont seem to get it.

They want to make money by telling you you are imperfect.


They get you to smear all sorts of dyes and crap right near or on your mucus membrains.


They get you to expose yourself to all sorts of additives that you never need to expose your system to.


Its all for money.


It is silly to waste money and possibly ruin your health when the human face is already attractive to other humans.


People dont need paint.

 

[R.D.]

"Those who choose not to care with their appearance have made a choice but to blame the industry is a common cop"



You dont seem to get it.

They want to make money by telling you you are imperfect.


They get you to smear all sorts of dyes and crap right near or on your mucus membrains.


They get you to expose yourself to all sorts of additives that you never need to expose your system to.


Its all for money.


It is silly to waste money and possibly ruin your health when the human face is already attractive to other humans.


People dont need paint.

I do

I don't for a minute believe the dangers you want to claim, but it's your right. I also have no qualms with people making money.

 

[Truthmatters]

Making money used to have a caveot in this country.

Providing an honest service or product.

How I wish that was still part of the moral package we Americans lived by.

 

[dilloduck]

Making money used to have a caveot in this country.

Providing an honest service or product.

How I wish that was still part of the moral package we Americans lived by.

link please
caveot (?)

 

[Truthmatters]

You really dont remember any Americans talking about providing an honest product or service?


Man its no wonder this country is so screwed up

 

[dilloduck]

You really dont remember any Americans talking about providing an honest product or service?


Man its no wonder this country is so screwed up

I swear I didn't mean to do it, TM. I just can't remember everything you know.

 

[Truthmatters]

Money no matter how is the new republican montra I guess

 

[Big Black Dog]

While all the guys jump up and down with excitement over an attractive lady, it's not what's on the outside that brings beauty to a woman. It's what's under the skin. True beauty lies within. To me, personality, poise, and charm coupled with a good sense of humor adds far more beauty to a woman than anything she can do with the package it comes bundled up in. Also the ability to fake a great orgasm is a plus too!

 

[dilloduck]

Money no matter how is the new republican montra I guess

my 'montra' is "AAARRRGGGGGGGG"

 

[Truthmatters]

There used to be talk of providing an honest product and or service in your business practices.


The right seems to abandon any talk of honesty as a responsibility in the business sector now.

 

[dilloduck]

There used to be talk of providing an honest product and or service in your business practices.


The right seems to abandon any talk of honesty as a responsibility in the business sector now.

there used to be talk of dragons underneath my bed too.

Are you claiming only the right earns money without providing honest products and services ?