make your own direcTV ads

[shart_attack]

When your cable bill comes in, you get angry.

When you get angry, you need a drink to relax.

When you drink to relax, you get too relaxed.

When you get too relaxed, your neighbors take advantage of you.

When your neighbors take advantage of you, you reminisce about the erstwhile, innocent days when they didn't take advantage of you.

And when you reminisce about the erstwhile, innocent days when your neighbors didn't take advantage of you, you send troops to Ukraine to fight a frick'n war against a nuclear superpower.

Don't send troops to Ukraine to fight a frick'n war against a nuclear superpower: upgrade to DirecTV.

 

[shart_attack]

When you subscribe to cable, you watch home shopping channels.

When you watch home shopping channels, you let your eyes overload your meager budget.

When you let your eyes overload your meager budget, you work too much overtime.

When you work too much overtime, you miss some great summer music festivals.

When you miss some great summer music festivals, you miss out on meeting a lot of hot scantily-clad babes.

And when you miss out on meeting a lot of hot scantily-clad babes, the animals on your farm run away because of the skeevy looks you give them.

Don't let the animals on your farm run away because of the skeevy looks you give them: upgrade to DirecTV.™