make your own "the most interesting man in the world" bits

[shart_attack]

He flames threads not in the USMB Flame Zone where he isn't wanted, just because he can.

 

[shart_attack]

He frequents Communist Party USA meetings — and enters whistling "Dixie".

 

[shart_attack]

Mosquitoes won't bite him, out of fear of retribution.

 

[shart_attack]

He can make a Molotov cocktail out of applesauce.

 

[shart_attack]

His farts have been cryogenically frozen, quantified and sold as air fresheners.

 

[shart_attack]

The willow trees in his yard have never wept.

 

[shart_attack]

He doesn't go to family reunions, because he's tired of his nieces and nephews crowding him, demanding autographs.

 

[shart_attack]

He eats poisonous toadstools with butter and carrots as appetizers.

 

[shart_attack]

He has made love to a mermaid — twice.

 

[shart_attack]

The devil once tried to sell his soul to him.

 

[shart_attack]

His sweat has been used to oil hinges on places like the Golden Gate Bridge and Eiffel Tower.

 

[shart_attack]

He won the Olympic gold medal for the Decathlon — solely because of his stare.

 

[shart_attack]

He can take off a woman's dress by telepathy.

 

[Care4all]

THIS is my favorite!!!

 

[shart_attack]

When he was 10 years old, he gave his father a lecture about "the birds and the bees".

 

[shart_attack]

He's a de facto member of secret societies of which he's never even heard.

 

[shart_attack]

His chickens praise their own soup.

 

[shart_attack]

The tomatoes in his gardens are ripe when they're green.

 

[shart_attack]

His glass houses are made of stone.

 

[shart_attack]

He once put all of his eggs in one basket, and had them airlifted to the sea — just to see if they would float.