Man Sends Wife Spreadsheet Of All Her Excuses Not To Have Sex

[Noomi]

Her obligations being what?

 

[Pogo]

Obviously her "obligation" is to present a paper with handouts and powerpoint (citing copious footnotes) at the next annual LBA (Left Brainers Anonymous) meeting, refuting his Excel doc as a flawed non-peer-reviewed study and presenting a counterargument in a dull monotone while the audience snoozes.

'Cause the LBA, they know what sex is all about. It's about bar graphs.

 

[Rikurzhen]

Her obligations being what?

Marriage is an "All in" type of arrangement. Not just total financial commitment to suit the wife and only discretionary with regards to sex.

What you're talking about is a roommate situation with benefits on the side.

 

[EverCurious]

People get married for many reasons, not just for sex, not just for companionship, not just for money, not just for a "legal" union under the law. No sex does not mean the marriage has gone bad either, age, work, kids, and differences in libido are all factors. One could make an argument that they shouldn't have to miss x show to have sex because they are married, just as easily as one could argue that one should miss x show because they are married. In the end though it is really no one else's place to determine what is a 'healthy' or 'proper' amount of sex in any other couples relationship - that is something that the involved parties need to work out for themselves.

Regardless we are all reading this with personal perception biases as far as what a marriage and relationship is to US, so any opinion we have on THEIR marriage and relationship is basically irrelevant.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Where in the marriage contract does it say that the wife has to have sex with her husband when he demands it?

Noomi, it is part of marriage. If you do not wish to share your body with someone you love. Do not get married. It is part of the reason people marry, and a big reason they stay together, or like this couple, not stay together.

The way one goes about keeping the sex going does matter. Spreadsheets don't work for me

I am aware that married couples have sex, but it isn't required, which is my point. The woman does not have to submit to her husband if she doesn't want to, and the attitudes of the males here ('she needs to be a better bitch, for example) is just pathetic.

Actually, it IS required. Unless one or the other of you has a serious physical ailment that prevents it, having a sexual relationship with your marital partner is NOT optional. You do not get to enter into a marital contract and then say, "And you can have sex IF I feel like it, but I might decide this marriage is completely platonic." That is grounds for an at-fault divorce, and that fault would be YOURS.

The more you talk, the more abundantly obvious it becomes why every man who's ever looked at you has said, "No thanks. I have a right hand."

 

[Pogo]

People get married for many reasons, not just for sex, not just for companionship, not just for money, not just for a "legal" union under the law. No sex does not mean the marriage has gone bad either, age, work, kids, and differences in libido are all factors. One could make an argument that they shouldn't have to miss x show to have sex because they are married, just as easily as one could argue that one should miss x show because they are married. In the end though it is really no one else's place to determine what is a 'healthy' or 'proper' amount of sex in any other couples relationship - that is something that the involved parties need to work out for themselves.

Regardless we are all reading this with personal perception biases as far as what a marriage and relationship is to US, so any opinion we have on THEIR marriage and relationship is basically irrelevant.

Well said.

And indeed, for most of human history marriage has been about property and inheritance and social class, with little or nothing to do with the ideas of romantic love and/or sexual desire. That's a quite recent adaptation.

 

[dilloduck]

People get married for many reasons, not just for sex, not just for companionship, not just for money, not just for a "legal" union under the law. No sex does not mean the marriage has gone bad either, age, work, kids, and differences in libido are all factors. One could make an argument that they shouldn't have to miss x show to have sex because they are married, just as easily as one could argue that one should miss x show because they are married. In the end though it is really no one else's place to determine what is a 'healthy' or 'proper' amount of sex in any other couples relationship - that is something that the involved parties need to work out for themselves.

Regardless we are all reading this with personal perception biases as far as what a marriage and relationship is to US, so any opinion we have on THEIR marriage and relationship is basically irrelevant.

Well said.

And indeed, for most of human history marriage has been about property and inheritance and social class, with little or nothing to do with the ideas of romantic love and/or sexual desire. That's a quite recent adaptation.

and during that time men where known to keep mistresses. Perhaps it's time for that era to return if women choose to opt out of sex.

 

[shart_attack]

Noomi, it is part of marriage. If you do not wish to share your body with someone you love. Do not get married. It is part of the reason people marry, and a big reason they stay together, or like this couple, not stay together.

The way one goes about keeping the sex going does matter. Spreadsheets don't work for me

I am aware that married couples have sex, but it isn't required, which is my point. The woman does not have to submit to her husband if she doesn't want to, and the attitudes of the males here ('she needs to be a better bitch, for example) is just pathetic.

Actually, it IS required. Unless one or the other of you has a serious physical ailment that prevents it, having a sexual relationship with your marital partner is NOT optional. You do not get to enter into a marital contract and then say, "And you can have sex IF I feel like it, but I might decide this marriage is completely platonic." That is grounds for an at-fault divorce, and that fault would be YOURS.

The more you talk, the more abundantly obvious it becomes why every man who's ever looked at you has said, "No thanks. I have a right hand."

There are some really laughably sad posts on this thread.

This is one of my favorites.

 

[Cecilie1200]

He does not own her vagina. Period.

Hate to break it to ya, hun, but that doesn't mean that he has to put up with the thing if it's not going to "play ball" either.

This loser is free to file for divorce if he wants. Or he can get his jollies off himself. He has two hands, does he not?

So basically, you think that, for a woman, marriage is "I do whatever I want, and pay no attention to your needs - in fact, I consider it an affront to my independence and womanhood to be expected to do anything for you - and if you don't like it, just leave. I have no obligations toward making this marriage work."

Not only do we now fully understand that no man would marry you even at gunpoint, we also understand why you live with your mother. There is literally not another human being on Earth who would tolerate such an incredibly selfish, lazy, demanding shrew in the same house.

It is hard to imagine anyone short of a serial killer who could match this sort of narcissistic sociopathology. It's really quite breathtaking.

 

[Pogo]

People get married for many reasons, not just for sex, not just for companionship, not just for money, not just for a "legal" union under the law. No sex does not mean the marriage has gone bad either, age, work, kids, and differences in libido are all factors. One could make an argument that they shouldn't have to miss x show to have sex because they are married, just as easily as one could argue that one should miss x show because they are married. In the end though it is really no one else's place to determine what is a 'healthy' or 'proper' amount of sex in any other couples relationship - that is something that the involved parties need to work out for themselves.

Regardless we are all reading this with personal perception biases as far as what a marriage and relationship is to US, so any opinion we have on THEIR marriage and relationship is basically irrelevant.

Well said.

And indeed, for most of human history marriage has been about property and inheritance and social class, with little or nothing to do with the ideas of romantic love and/or sexual desire. That's a quite recent adaptation.

and during that time men where known to keep mistresses. Perhaps it's time for that era to return if women choose to opt out of sex.

But during that time what didn't they have? ....... Spreadsheets.

 

[shart_attack]

Hate to break it to ya, hun, but that doesn't mean that he has to put up with the thing if it's not going to "play ball" either.

This loser is free to file for divorce if he wants. Or he can get his jollies off himself. He has two hands, does he not?

So basically, you think that, for a woman, marriage is "I do whatever I want, and pay no attention to your needs - in fact, I consider it an affront to my independence and womanhood to be expected to do anything for you - and if you don't like it, just leave. I have no obligations toward making this marriage work."

Not only do we now fully understand that no man would marry you even at gunpoint, we also understand why you live with your mother. There is literally not another human being on Earth who would tolerate such an incredibly selfish, lazy, demanding shrew in the same house.

It is hard to imagine anyone short of a serial killer who could match this sort of narcissistic sociopathology. It's really quite breathtaking.

Fun fact:

Noomi is a woman.

 

[Cecilie1200]

I am really surprised at some of the men responding. Really surprised. But I shouldn't be.

I am not in the least surprised. But you do know, don't you, that if the situation was reversed, and the man was denying sex for the same reasons, the men here would be loudly defending this bloke.

No, they wouldn't. They'd demand he turn in his Man Card immediately. If you knew anything about men, you'd realize that their operating philosophy is, "Take it when it's offered, and remember that all cats look alike in the dark."

And bless them for it, because if I had to put up with the same bullshit they do just to get laid, let's just say I'd own stock in the Duracell company.

 

[Cecilie1200]

I am really surprised at some of the men responding. Really surprised. But I shouldn't be.

The vagina is, technically, a "thing," is it not?

I wasn't trying to be offensive. I was playing off of Noomi's constant references to the vagina (as opposed to the person attached to it) in her posts.

What are you calling a 'thing'?

A "thing," perhaps?

I guess, nounwise, you could also consider it a place.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Sex occurs before a marriage, sex does not make a marriage, nor should it be required of couples.

As much as I love sex... I still totally agree with this. Marriage should be about so much more than that.

That's nice but no one is claiming that sex is everything------that strawman keeps popping up over and over.

Sex isn't, but emotional intimacy and connection is, and it's been long proven that men derive their most direct sense of that through sexual contact. When a wife repeatedly refuses sex like this, what her husband is hearing is, "I don't love you anymore. You don't matter to me. You are alone in the world." He can deny it until the cows come home, even to himself, but subconsciously, that is the message she's giving him. Doesn't matter what else she's doing or saying the rest of the time, although I really doubt this chick is hearts and flowers for her hubby at any point in time.

 

[Pogo]

I am really surprised at some of the men responding. Really surprised. But I shouldn't be.

I am not in the least surprised. But you do know, don't you, that if the situation was reversed, and the man was denying sex for the same reasons, the men here would be loudly defending this bloke.

No, they wouldn't. They'd demand he turn in his Man Card immediately. If you knew anything about men, you'd realize that their operating philosophy is, "Take it when it's offered, and remember that all cats look alike in the dark."

And bless them for it, because if I had to put up with the same bullshit they do just to get laid, let's just say I'd own stock in the Duracell company.

Duracell?

Do you mean Eveready? I don't git it.

Duracells are btw the shittiest battery you can buy. Just thought I'd throw that in. One rarely gets the chance.

 

[WinterBorn]

I am not in the least surprised. But you do know, don't you, that if the situation was reversed, and the man was denying sex for the same reasons, the men here would be loudly defending this bloke.

No, they wouldn't. They'd demand he turn in his Man Card immediately. If you knew anything about men, you'd realize that their operating philosophy is, "Take it when it's offered, and remember that all cats look alike in the dark."

And bless them for it, because if I had to put up with the same bullshit they do just to get laid, let's just say I'd own stock in the Duracell company.

Duracell?

Do you mean Eveready? I don't git it.

Duracells are btw the shittiest battery you can buy. Just thought I'd throw that in. One rarely gets the chance.

In the other thread about the woman complaining, she used a Magic Wand. They plug in, so batteries are not an issue, and full power is always available.

Just thought I'd throw that in too. One rarely gets the chance to give such tips. lol

 

[Cecilie1200]

As much as I love sex... I still totally agree with this. Marriage should be about so much more than that.

Of course it should be. However, that doesn't mean that sex isn't still important.

If, at the ripe old age of 26, my S.O. were to suddenly decide that sex was off the table, I'd be seriously considering whether the marriage was worth preserving as well.

It's one thing to "lose the spark" in middle age after having had a life and a bunch of kids together. Losing it before the marriage has even really started is another entirely.

I find it selfish that a man would divorce the woman he supposedly loves simply because she won't spread her legs for him. It really goes to show what you males think of marriage - a reason to bang the missus when you feel like it.

I find it selfish that a woman should expect to be loved and remain married without being willing to provide intimacy for her spouse. It really goes to show what you "females" think of marriage - a slave to buy you goodies and take out the trash.

Why the hell WOULD he love her, let alone remain married to her, if she's telegraphing that he means nothing to her as a person and a partner?

 

[Pogo]

No, they wouldn't. They'd demand he turn in his Man Card immediately. If you knew anything about men, you'd realize that their operating philosophy is, "Take it when it's offered, and remember that all cats look alike in the dark."

And bless them for it, because if I had to put up with the same bullshit they do just to get laid, let's just say I'd own stock in the Duracell company.

Duracell?

Do you mean Eveready? I don't git it.

Duracells are btw the shittiest battery you can buy. Just thought I'd throw that in. One rarely gets the chance.

In the other thread about the woman complaining, she used a Magic Wand. They plug in, so batteries are not an issue, and full power is always available.

Just thought I'd throw that in too. One rarely gets the chance to give such tips. lol

Thanks. That went right over my head. Where's that Dildoduck when ya need him...
Essplains a lot -- if Cecilie's using Duracells, it's no wonder she's left unsatisfied...

---- there's another thread?

 

[Cecilie1200]

Bah and bleh. I am thoroughly disgusted.

And very aware of what some of the ....cough cough....."men" are like.

/unsub

My last boyfriend dumped me via text message because I wouldn't have sex with him. On our third date, mind.

Pathetic.

You were only on the third date, and you were thinking of him as a boyfriend already . . . although not willing to act like a girlfriend, apparently?

I'm betting that's just how long it took him to figure out that if you weren't putting out, you literally had nothing to offer by being in someone's life.

 

[Cecilie1200]

OH THE PAIN_-----some poor married ladies actually have sex........we need a support group for the poor things.

I know, right? Some of these people talk as though we're suggesting that wives have to sacrifice puppies by the light of the full moon, or something. It's SEX, for crying out loud. It's an activity 99% of physically mature adults ENJOY.