Man Sends Wife Spreadsheet Of All Her Excuses Not To Have Sex

[Cecilie1200]

He sounds very calculating. No wonder she doesn't want to have sex with him. He probably will send her an evaluation after the act, as to how her performance was. What a control freak.

What a dumb ass, women are slow cookers, not microwaves

Exactly.....Who wants to have sex with such an uptight asshole?

Okay. Sooo... Apparently, neither of you are big fans of men with personalities which fall in more on the "rational" rather than "emotional" side of the spectrum. Duly noted.

So what?

It doesn't change the fact that she apparently liked this guy well enough to date him for three years, and remain married to him for another two. It also doesn't change the fact that she has a certain responsibility to uphold her end of the relationship, and that she is currently miserably failing to do so.

She needs to get her act together or just let the guy go, IMO.

So there is a rule that says she has to have sex with him a certain amount of times per week and if she doesn't it falls on her... only? Gotcha

There is, indeed, a rule that you should take your partner's feelings and needs into account in a marriage, rather than just sitting back and whining, "I don't feel sexy. Romance me so I'm in the mood" all the time.

Marital sex isn't like hooking up in a bar on Friday night when you're single. It's not about spending an hour - or more - getting dolled up in your best outfit and makeup, and then having some guy chat you up and buy you drinks and make you feel special and flattered so you'll go home with him and give up the goods, and next day either bitching to your friends that he didn't give you enough Big O's, or bragging to them about the service he gave out.

Marital sex is about maintaining an emotional connection with the person you promised to love, honor, and cherish 'til death do you part. It is not about YOU; it is about your partner, and about the two of you together. It is about reminding each other than you are not alone in the damned darkness, that there is someone who will hold your hair while you puke, listen to you bitch about your job and your lousy boss, slouch around on Saturdays in your sweatpants, and still think you're beautiful and wonderful.

If you fucking forget that someone else is looking at you and thinking you're sexy because you're too busy looking in the mirror and focusing on how YOU don't think you're sexy - more importantly, if you fucking forget that someone else needs to be reassured HE (or she) is sexy and loved - then you are a selfish bitch and a bad spouse.

It's not that flowers and candy and dinner by candlelight isn't still nice in a marriage. But the most romantic, sexy thing in a marriage is having them want you, and keep wanting you, year after year, because you know they've seen you at your worst in a way no one else can imagine.

 

[Cecilie1200]

A phone call to say hi, in the middle of the day, "Hey baby, I was thinking about how your skin feels against mine."

Sending flowers for no reason...just because....

Making dinner reservations at her fav restaurant...

are you getting my drift?

Sending her a spreadsheet, is not on the list of romantic destinations or acts

I have the distinct impression that this is the kind of woman who, if he called in the middle of the day to say something sexy, would respond with, "God, is that all you ever think about? I'm busy, you pig", and hang up.

Are you suggesting that he should send flowers and make reservations several times a week, in order to get laid by his own wife? What, then, was the point of getting married, rather than just continuing to date? I thought marriage was supposed to be moving into a realm of greater intimacy and partnership and sharing.

 

[Jarlaxle]

With her hygiene habits I wouldn't be looking to nail very often.

Working out, not showering afterward then going to bed IS nasty...
I showed this to my wife. She said "what a pig".

I don't know...I have found that sharing a shower with my wife can be fun.

 

[Jarlaxle]

"Non-Verbal"

Yep.. The "roll over"....Back facing partner.

I like that, especially in the winter...I pull her against me, put my arms around her, and pull the blanket over us. Hardly a bad way to sleep.

 

[Toro]

Yes, which is why she did not have sex with him.....Would you have sex with a computer? A spreadsheet?

Are you a woman? You don't seem to have a good grasp of logic. You're stating here that the wife didn't have sex with her husband because in the future he would compile a spreadsheet chronicling her refusals. That's logically incoherent.

Look, men have been arguing with women since time began. Men recognize that women have memories like elephants and can recall, when it suits them, the tiniest and most inconsequential details of interactions they've been involved in from years, even decades, in the past and zing the husband during an argument.

For this husband to feel he needed to document the outcomes of his sex appeals it's extremely likely that the wife didn't accept his claims that she was refusing him and his own memory couldn't list off the particulars that she demanded. So if the man can't rely on his memory to satisfy his wife's demand for proof, best document the refusals as they happen.

The fact that the man felt it necessary to document these events strongly suggests that the wife refused to believe him when he was offering his recollection of the events that transpired between them. That was the wife's first mistake. Anyone who is married should recognize that impressions count just as much as reality - a misunderstanding can be as hurtful as an intended action. If the husband was feeling that they weren't having sex frequently enough that right there is problem that needs to be addressed rather than dismissed. Clearly it was dismissed, leading him to feeling the need to actually document their history.

Sex is not logical. That is the point, at least in my opinion. Yes, I am definitely a woman

Romance is part of sex. I think the poor logical guy forgot the logic in that

Are you saying this guy isn't the ultimate women's sex symbol?

 

[Katzndogz]

The woman has an absolute right to refuse to have sex. The man has an absolute right to find a girlfriend, or get a divorce whichever suits him. The marriage is over. While some people can maintain a sterile marriage it is not a usual occurrence and happens only when there is a mutual agreement. To a young couple lack of sex indicates that something is either seriously wrong with the marriage or seriously wrong with a participant in that marriage.

 

[Pogo]

The woman has an absolute right to refuse to have sex. The man has an absolute right to find a girlfriend, or get a divorce whichever suits him. The marriage is over. While some people can maintain a sterile marriage it is not a usual occurrence and happens only when there is a mutual agreement. To a young couple lack of sex indicates that something is either seriously wrong with the marriage or seriously wrong with a participant in that marriage.

You have neither the perspective nor the authority to declare "the marriage is over". That's their business.

For all we know it's entirely possible they fight like this all the time. Perhaps they like it. Some people just like to argue for its own sake. When they find each other and circumstances fall into place, they hook up. If circumstances don't fall into place, they meet on a message board.

 

[ChrisL]

Wow! This thread got ugly! Lol!

Well, if you ask me, they both seem like a couple of jerks who probably deserve each other, and who cares about them anyways? Not me!

 

[Esmeralda]

The woman has an absolute right to refuse to have sex. The man has an absolute right to find a girlfriend, or get a divorce whichever suits him. The marriage is over. While some people can maintain a sterile marriage it is not a usual occurrence and happens only when there is a mutual agreement. To a young couple lack of sex indicates that something is either seriously wrong with the marriage or seriously wrong with a participant in that marriage.

You have neither the perspective nor the authority to declare "the marriage is over". That's their business.

For all we know it's entirely possible they fight like this all the time. Perhaps they like it. Some people just like to argue for its own sake. When they find each other and circumstances fall into place, they hook up. If circumstances don't fall into place, they meet on a message board.

For any couple, lack of sex is an indication that something is seriously wrong.

Everybody knows the movie Hope Springs with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones? Sex is important when you get old too.

One thing that occurs to me is if the husband was gentle, loving, told her he loved her, cuddled, gave hugs and kisses, or if he just up and said, let's have sex. Mostly women are not interested in sex with a man who never shows any tenderness or affection.

 

[Noomi]

The woman has an absolute right to refuse to have sex. The man has an absolute right to find a girlfriend, or get a divorce whichever suits him. The marriage is over. While some people can maintain a sterile marriage it is not a usual occurrence and happens only when there is a mutual agreement. To a young couple lack of sex indicates that something is either seriously wrong with the marriage or seriously wrong with a participant in that marriage.

The marriage is not sterile. He is having sex - just not as often as HE wants it. Too bad for him.

 

[Esmeralda]

Sex and marriage should not be a battle ground. That would seem obvious, but too many people treat it as if it were. And I can see that in some of the comments here in this thread.

 

[Politico]

33 pages on lol. That list is nothing. I could make one one twice that long.

 

[ClosedCaption]

Also this new breed of women are equally bad.

"perhaps he should give her flowers"

"perhaps he should be more affectionate" etc etc etc

But the other side of the perhaps is even if he does all that do you know who is still responsible for giving up sex? Her! He can do everything under the sun and he's supposed to do all that for a chance?

Look I understand. He cant get it on demand and it doesnt work that way. I can dig it.

What I cant dig is this game where dudes are supposed to provide, protect and do for his wife while she decides if she wants to uphold her end of the relationship. I bet she doesnt want him to cheat. I bet he wants sex. When shes too funky does she let him cheat sometimes? Cheat a little bit?

No because that would be unfair but he's supposed to sit there, give her all the husband benefits without her holding up her part?

 

[WinterBorn]

Also this new breed of women are equally bad.

"perhaps he should give her flowers"

"perhaps he should be more affectionate" etc etc etc

But the other side of the perhaps is even if he does all that do you know who is still responsible for giving up sex? Her! He can do everything under the sun and he's supposed to do all that for a chance?

Look I understand. He cant get it on demand and it doesnt work that way. I can dig it.

What I cant dig is this game where dudes are supposed to provide, protect and do for his wife while she decides if she wants to uphold her end of the relationship. I bet she doesnt want him to cheat. I bet he wants sex. When shes too funky does she let him cheat sometimes? Cheat a little bit?

No because that would be unfair but he's supposed to sit there, give her all the husband benefits without her holding up her part?

This is one of the big pluses of polyamory. Everyone gets the sex they want & need, and no one is left either abstaining or feeling guilty. The secret is honest communication. Something this couple failed at even more than sex.

 

[PixieStix]

Are you a woman? You don't seem to have a good grasp of logic. You're stating here that the wife didn't have sex with her husband because in the future he would compile a spreadsheet chronicling her refusals. That's logically incoherent.

Look, men have been arguing with women since time began. Men recognize that women have memories like elephants and can recall, when it suits them, the tiniest and most inconsequential details of interactions they've been involved in from years, even decades, in the past and zing the husband during an argument.

For this husband to feel he needed to document the outcomes of his sex appeals it's extremely likely that the wife didn't accept his claims that she was refusing him and his own memory couldn't list off the particulars that she demanded. So if the man can't rely on his memory to satisfy his wife's demand for proof, best document the refusals as they happen.

The fact that the man felt it necessary to document these events strongly suggests that the wife refused to believe him when he was offering his recollection of the events that transpired between them. That was the wife's first mistake. Anyone who is married should recognize that impressions count just as much as reality - a misunderstanding can be as hurtful as an intended action. If the husband was feeling that they weren't having sex frequently enough that right there is problem that needs to be addressed rather than dismissed. Clearly it was dismissed, leading him to feeling the need to actually document their history.

Sex is not logical. That is the point, at least in my opinion. Yes, I am definitely a woman

Romance is part of sex. I think the poor logical guy forgot the logic in that

Are you saying this guy isn't the ultimate women's sex symbol?

Oh yeah...he is hot ...excuse me while I fan myself

 

[Esmeralda]

Also this new breed of women are equally bad.

"perhaps he should give her flowers"

"perhaps he should be more affectionate" etc etc etc

But the other side of the perhaps is even if he does all that do you know who is still responsible for giving up sex? Her! He can do everything under the sun and he's supposed to do all that for a chance?

Look I understand. He cant get it on demand and it doesnt work that way. I can dig it.

What I cant dig is this game where dudes are supposed to provide, protect and do for his wife while she decides if she wants to uphold her end of the relationship. I bet she doesnt want him to cheat. I bet he wants sex. When shes too funky does she let him cheat sometimes? Cheat a little bit?

No because that would be unfair but he's supposed to sit there, give her all the husband benefits without her holding up her part?

If this is the only type of relationship you've ever been in, that's very sad for you.

 

[daws101]

I'm amazed that this thread is still active..

 

[ClosedCaption]

Also this new breed of women are equally bad.

"perhaps he should give her flowers"

"perhaps he should be more affectionate" etc etc etc

But the other side of the perhaps is even if he does all that do you know who is still responsible for giving up sex? Her! He can do everything under the sun and he's supposed to do all that for a chance?

Look I understand. He cant get it on demand and it doesnt work that way. I can dig it.

What I cant dig is this game where dudes are supposed to provide, protect and do for his wife while she decides if she wants to uphold her end of the relationship. I bet she doesnt want him to cheat. I bet he wants sex. When shes too funky does she let him cheat sometimes? Cheat a little bit?

No because that would be unfair but he's supposed to sit there, give her all the husband benefits without her holding up her part?

If this is the only type of relationship you've ever been in, that's very sad for you.

I'd be sad too but I would never be in that type of relationship at all

 

[daws101]

Also this new breed of women are equally bad.

"perhaps he should give her flowers"

"perhaps he should be more affectionate" etc etc etc

But the other side of the perhaps is even if he does all that do you know who is still responsible for giving up sex? Her! He can do everything under the sun and he's supposed to do all that for a chance?

Look I understand. He cant get it on demand and it doesnt work that way. I can dig it.

What I cant dig is this game where dudes are supposed to provide, protect and do for his wife while she decides if she wants to uphold her end of the relationship. I bet she doesnt want him to cheat. I bet he wants sex. When shes too funky does she let him cheat sometimes? Cheat a little bit?

No because that would be unfair but he's supposed to sit there, give her all the husband benefits without her holding up her part?

If this is the only type of relationship you've ever been in, that's very sad for you.

I'd be sad too but I would never be in that type of relationship at all

lots of people have one partner will string the other along just to see what they can get...with as little effort as possible.

 

[ClosedCaption]

Thats human nature. Thats why this guy needs to take away the husband privileges she gets if she doesnt want to abide by her obligations.